Thankfully, 64% of Americans oppose another Trump administration, according to a recent Marist poll. Because they're not out of their ever-loving minds. Embarrassingly, though, 71% of Republicans still support this career criminal.
This after he almost got Mike Pence lynched. This, after the Russians went to Trump Towers to not collude. Which got him impeached. Then, Trump got impeached for blackmailing Ukraine. Both times he was saved by senators cowed by the debased, the rocket surgeons with AR-15's shooting Bud Light cans in Yeti coolers.
Along the way, he repaid $25 million to Trump University victims, another $130,000 to Stormy Daniels. The Trump Organization has been convicted of tax fraud. Now, he's the defendant in a rape case. We'll gloss over the Trump International Hotel where internationals paid a presidential toll when in town to curry favor. Or the grifting of $2 million from taxpayers for Secret Service lodging.
Say, didn't you used to be the Party of Law and Order? The Party of Family Values?
I get it. You've gone gangsta. You sure can't win on the issues.
Curiously, parents don't want kids ducking bullets in math class or getting singed during book burnings. And how's that Dobbs thing working out? You've lost suburban women. They somehow believe they've become second class citizens.
Republicans can't win fair elections. That yacht has sailed. GOP presidential candidates haven't won the popular vote in 20 years. Thus, voter suppression and gerrymandering. Thus, Jan. 6, 2021.
What exactly do you have going for you? Beyond insurrections? Inspire me.
Now, I remember. Fiscal responsibility.
Not so fast, Darryl and your other brother Darryl. Even pre-pandemic, Trump's fat cat tax cuts engendered record deficits. Then, he botched the pandemic — people are still pulling lightbulbs out of their butts — while increasing the national debt 25%.
And before that, Dubyah took Clinton's budget surplus and crashed the economy. That's the Republican playbook. Plunder the economy, let Democrats fix it. Obstruct, and blame them when they don't fix it fast enough.
I haven't even gotten to the scary part for authoritarians: 68% of independents oppose another Trump presidency, and a shrinking GOP has no chance without them.
As long as Republicans ignore the slaughter of classroom innocents in the name of freedom, as long as they govern wombs like Communist China, sorry, Goober, the libs are gonna own you but good. Gayness will be mandatory. The babies libs don't eat will be doing bongs at recess and book reports on "Slaughterhouse-Five." RuPaul will be your librarian.
In other words, things will get better.
But Biden's old ... So? Trump will be 77 if hell freezes over. Meanwhile, Nikki Hail Mary is demanding aptitude tests. Cool. I'll take Biden and spot you 100 IQ points.
You've got one chance, Republicans. Dump the chump.
So, DeSantis? Naw, He's getting his clock cleaned by Tinkerbell. Chris Christie, perhaps. Tough to make the case he'll outlive Biden, though. You could dust off John Kasich. He's prickly enough to own the libs.
Maybe Joe Manchin. No, because he's a Democrat? Who are you kidding?
I know. Liz Cheney. One of the last credible Republicans. She'd swing independents. Plus, she still believes in democracy. Republicans could even add that back to the platform.
Hey, don't be that way. I'm just trying to help. Seriously, Liz Cheney.
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