Waiting to Make the Break for the south

As Kadizzle types a blizzard is just beginning in ND. Slowly the Kadizzilites are making the final prep for escape from the great white north. The key to the whole thing will be a window of opportunity to drive on decent roads to Denver. From Denver the next great feat will be to bust into Cottonwood AZ. The great adventure will begin nest Monday or Tuesday. Luckily our furnace failed about a week ago. Being home was the blessing. Had the furnace given out while we were gone would have been a disaster. Way too many days have been spent inside being warmed by the TV. First order of business in the warmth will be getting into a little bit of hiking shape.

Another present terrorist

An Old Grandpa

Poor old Kadizzle is an old Grandpa now. One full year of enjoying the little Sylvie. Naturally she has the language skills of a seasoned Quinn. Her vocabulary is amazing. The big thrill for next year will be cashing social security checks. The winter in North Dakota is wearing. Snow is already piled deep. Soon with some good fortune the Kadizalites will head south. In fact far south. Mexico is on the agenda. Time on the beach. Sounds refreshing. Just seeing the sun at this point would be great. We got in very little pheasant hunting this year. The poor birds are having a hard time of it. The snow is keeping them from food. If Kadizzle were a pheasant in this mess he would come out and ask to be shot. Hopefully the economy will improve next year and people will see the need for real change and reform. At this point is seems we are just refinancing the illusion.

Rolling Down to old Maui

How I wish I was in Sharbrook now.

The Watermelon song

Lord Kadizzle searched long and hard for the lyrics to the watermelon song. It used to be a camp song we sang as kids. Kadizzle found two different sets of lyrics. The first is the one Kadizzle remembers.

You can talk about your apples
your peaches and your pears
Your simmons hangin' on that simmon tree
But bet your heart my honey
Of all the fruit that grows
That watermelon am the fruit for me

Oh! Hambone am good!
Chicken 'em sweet!
Possum meat am very very fine!
Yes Lord!
But give me, oh give me
I really wish you would
That watermelon hangin' on that vine

But when I went to futch it
Was on a rainy night
The moon it had not yet begun to shine
And oh that white man saw me
And he shot me through the fence
But I never left that melon on that vine

Now this would be a second version that must have been sung by Tennessee Earnie Ford

Back in West Virginia I used to sit upon the fence
A-wonderin’about the lack of people’s common sense

What I didn’t then keep concealed
Was one great big fat watermelon layin in the field

See that watermelon hangin’ on the vine
I wish that watermelon could be mine

The farmer must be careless
Without lack of sense
Or he wouldn’t have leave it hangin’
On the vine

Cornbread is sweet
Pork chops are good
Black eyed peas are mighty, mighty fine
But give me oh give me
I really wish you would
That watermelon hangin’ on the vine

Got a gal who loves me
She always treats me fine
She lets me hug and kiss her all the time
I wish that all her kisses
Could taste half as sweet
As that watermelon hangin’ on the vine

Oh kissin’ is sweet
Huggin is good
Cissie’s lips taste mighty, mighty, fine
But give me, oh give me
That watermelon hangin on the vine

Well I see that watermelon
So thick, so fat, so fine
What a shame to go leavin’ it behind

I know my baby’s waitn’
She won’t be waitin long
Now that I got that watermelon off the vine

Hambone is sweet um
Chicken is good
Blackeyed peas are mighty, mighty fine
But I ought to tell you
I really think I should
Eat a watermelon hangin’ on the vine.

Jasper Littlebottom attacks snow drift

The Parting Glass Christmas wishes from the Quinns

O, all the money e'er I had,
I spent it in good company.
And all the harm that ever I've done,
alas it was to none but me.
And all I've done for want of wit
to mem'ry now I can't recall;
So fill to me the parting glass,
Good night and joy be with you all.

O, all the comrades e'er I had,
They're sorry for my going away.
And all the sweethearts e'er I had,
They'd wished me one more day to stay.
But since it falls unto my lot,
That I should rise and you should not,
I gently rise and softly call,
Goodnight and joy be with you all.

My Hero has something to say about the Greed Dogs

Sell your followers fake gold

Glenn Beck is an amazing rat without an ounce of truth or morality. Glenn scares and stirs up the Hoopleheads who follow him, then his sponsor sells them gold coins. Only one minor problem the gold coins don't have the gold content the poor suckers expect. The company that sells the gold scares the Hooples by telling them Obama can confiscate gold, but cannot confiscate antique gold coins. So the best thing to do is buy the antique gold coins. The only part the scammers leave out is that the antique gold coins are not pure gold. Now Glenn's sponsor is in court trying to stay out of jail. You just have to love Fox, and Glenn. Any respectable person would warn people, but not Glenn, not Fox.

John Stewart comments on Tax breaks for the Rich

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Temptation Resisted

Lord Kadizzle has never been so pissed in a long time politically. Obama caving in to the greedy Republicans is just unacceptable. The fact that the greedy bastards want us to borrow 700 billion from China to give them tax breaks is just plain beyond comprehension. What in the hell is wrong with any thinking person that they would even consider giving each of the richest Americans another 3 million per year, when people are losing their homes, when people don't have jobs. Kadizzle got so pissed he called Mitch McConnell's office in Kentucky just to let that worthless lick-spittle have a piece of his mind. This is the biggest robbery in history. The resisted temptation was the desire to email everyone Kadizzle has an email address for and beg them to call the sorrowful representatives that would partake in the Republican hold up.

This says it all

Singing Sylvie does favorites

Girls Gone Wild

The Glory of digital children

Megan, is Lord Kadizzle's go to person for computer problems. This morning the little artist loaded the remote itunes app onto Kadizzles new itouch. Now old Lord Kadizzle can control his or anyone else's music selection from anywhere there is a wi fi connection. In theory Kadizzle could probably be in Colorado and change the songs on his computer in Hazen. Not sure why one would want to do this, but it should work. Being able to turn the volume up and down is great. Back in the old days when Black and white TV was about as technical as the world got it would have been hard to imagine the current state of knowledge. Yesterday Kadizzle took the GPS and went to each corner marker on Erin's lot. Kadizzle came back in to the house and entered the data onto Google Earth. Google Earth showed a satellite picture with the boundaries of Erin's lot and gave the approximate size of the lot. What will they think of next, I just got it, a wet diaper sensor. A little device you put in Sylvie's diaper that sets off an alarm when there has been a flood.

Moutain Elf Captured

Constant Train Wrecks

With the help of computers Kadizzle and family have now reached a new high in time wasting. Megan's boyfriend gave Lord Kadizzle an itouch. Of course Kadizzle had to get some apps. The only game Lord Kadizzle got was Train Conductor. Unfortunately Erin tried it and is addicted. Now two people can waste untold time on that, not to mention the countless other distractions. The idea is to route trains without wrecking them. Points are awarded and naturally competition has arisen. Megan loaded the game on her iphone, so not the battle for time wasting is really heated.

Back in the Mountains

The Grandparent wagon lumbered its way back to Evergreen. Many hours of listening to "The Help", on the Itouch. Made the trip shorter. It is an Amazing story about racism in the sixties in the south. Would do all good to remember the racial mess this country has. Sadly our current situation with Fox News and it's subtle racism is sad. Republicans promoting the Tea Party. No one wants to say it in the open, but many on the right just cannot come to grips with a black president. The determination to destroy Obama is the main agenda for the Republicans. They could not stand the idea of a successful black president, it would rattle their whole belief system. They will never admit it, so they have to change the story to socialism. Total nonsense. The Republicans could have taken a generous approach and helped Obama. What a contribution to the country the Republicans could have made. They could have shown Americans a black man can succeed, and in the process done a lot to suppress racism. Instead the right has decided to subtly promote racism by signing on to the agenda of Rush, Glenn, and Fox. As a grandparent is would be so nice to leave our children a better world, instead these people want to maintain the things that have made life difficult for so many.

The Crazy Club

When you are retired and live in Hazen, it is like being home on a school day. All of a sudden you realize everybody is gone. However, you soon find the other crazies that are not in school. People who all march in line, and buy the party line from religion to politics are not very interesting. The crazies go against the tide and actually have a point of view. Some of the crazies, have no point of view they are just so confused it is entertaining. One of the crazies is in his mid sixties. He is building a tree house. Almost everyday Kadizzle updates the battle against the Hoopleheads, or the "son a bitches" with another local eccentric. Another crazy has no use for religion and the ensuing nonsense that goes with it. It is fun to talk to her and hear her stories of how she has to try to control herself around the "saved". Another crazy is determined that he must spend all his money before he dies so his wife does not get it, so he keeps buying trucks he doesn't need. Besides the crazies there is an abundant supply of Hoopleheads worried someone will get their gun, the Kenyan president will confiscate their bullets, or the latest rumor at the coffee shop will come true. "An idle mind is the devils playground". In the case of the Hooples and idle mind is just that an idle mind. The crazies on the other hand have decided to take their minds on a trip and at least it is entertaining.

Life at Sandy's Hunting Campe

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We need to act

Alaska and North Dakota

Two of the biggest welfare states in the country are Alaska and North Dakota. Alaska usually wins, but North Dakota is always right up near the top. It is a wonderful system. As a state you send the federal government one dollar and they send you back two. Now for the strange part, both states love right wing politics and have just elected Republicans. Of course the Republicans are the stand on your own two feet bunch that should be the first to cut off the welfare cheats like North Dakota and Alaska. North Dakota soaks up farm subsides like a sponge. If the Republicans do as they claim and cut everything in sight these handouts should be some of the first to go. It will be fun to see how this plays out. Every old goat loves medicare and social security, but every old goat fears socialism, so how does that work? We have become a nation of crazy people that want to diametrically opposed things. Why can't we have tax breaks for the rich and lots of good safety nets like social security? Ronald Reagan started the fantasy. The gipper said you can cut taxes and you will have more money. It clearly doesn't work, but the delusion goes on.

Automated Stupidity

Lord Kadizzle just talked with his sister Suzie in West Virginia. She remarked what a waste of time computers can be. Kadizzle got a lecture from The Commander and his daughter last night on the wasted time spent on the google. It is wonderful. People used to have to work so hard to get stupid and waste time. Now, we have a magic machine than draws you in and gives you the illusion you have done something. If you really get good at it you can also waste money. The gadget that was supposed to bring a new round of productivity to the universe has done more to waste peoples time than any invention since television. The recent elections have shown that the spread of information has no effect on people getting smarter. Just like television you can watch the history channel, or learn something on the science channel, but that is no fun, lets watch Fox, and football. You might as well give a calculator to a tribesman in the middle of the Amazon. Kadizzle used to work for a company that was obsessed with how much money they were going to save by spending millions on a computer system. The vice president of operations was a smart man and always challenged the computer nerds to walk him over and show him where the saved money was stored. Indeed computers do save time. With the time you save you can go to Facebook and spend an hour finding out who burped today or watch a video of your friend waiting for the bus. It is just wonderful. Once the Chinese get enough computers we will be able to compete with them again. Like us they will not have time to build flat screens and sell them to another country on credit.

Grandparents obsessed with granddaughter

The grandparents are obsessed with the little Sylvie. She has remarkable language skills for her age. Grandma took her to get the mail and the listened for Chick a Dees

I Remember

A new way of thinking

Ø I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a
bike and asked for forgiveness.


Ø Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat
you with experience.


Ø I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming
and yelling like the passengers in his car.


Ø Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a
garage makes you a car.


Ø The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.


Ø Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright
until you hear them speak.


Ø If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.


Ø We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.


Ø War does not determine who is right - only who is left.


Ø Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a
fruit salad.


Ø The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.


Ø Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to
tell you why it isn't.


Ø To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is
research.


Ø A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train
stops. On my desk, I have a work station.


Ø How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole
box to start a campfire?


Ø Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you
can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.


Ø Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train
people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.


Ø I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.


Ø A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you
don't need it.


Ø Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an
emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR".


Ø I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.


Ø I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said
"Implants?"


Ø Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars,
but check when you say the paint is wet?


Ø Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with
a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.


Ø Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50
for Miss America ?


Ø Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful
man is usually another woman.


Ø A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.


Ø You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to
skydive twice.


Ø The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!


Ø Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.


Ø A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that
you will look forward to the trip.


Ø Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you
wish they were.


Ø Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.


Ø I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a
great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.


Ø Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.


Ø There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they
can't get away.


Ø I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.


Ø I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot
of tequila.


Ø When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department
usually uses water.


Ø You're never too old to learn something stupid.


Ø To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit
the target.


Ø Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.


Ø Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no
imagination whatsoever.


Ø A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when
you are in it.


Ø If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have
more than one child?


Ø Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Kadizzle's little pumpkin carver

This ends with great Hooplehead zinger

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Conserevatives cannot hear this video.

Dogs can hear sounds humans cannot. The same is true with liberals, they can understand things conservatives never will. This video says it all, but your typical Hooplehead just cannot grasp what is going on.

Shooting up the Hoopleheads

It is always fun to shoot up the Hoopleheads when you get a chance in public. At the grocery store Kadizzle knew a hard core Hoople was in line behind him, so Kadizzle made it a point to loudly express to the check out girl how the Hooples and Tea Party gang are destroying our country by spreading ignorance like a disease. At the post office this morning Kadizzle was talking to a good Democrat. A Hoople happened to be nearby. In no time the Hoople was standing up for Rush Limbaugh, and Glenn. The Hoople said Rush would not say anything unless is was factual. Wow, that took the cake. On to the bank. At the bank Kadizzle tried to encourage the pretty little teller girl to help bring back democracy by voting out the party of greed. She said she was too young to vote, but it was fun to see the older clerks cringe when they got bombed with reality. Our country can be taken back from the special interest if people will just fight for reality. Sadly when the Hooples shoot off the simple minded mantra they learn from Glenn and Rush no one shoots back. What if our founding fathers had been afraid to speak out? We would all be living like the peasants the Republicans want us to be.

After the wiley Pheasant today.

The Commander has the smell of blood driving her crazy. She has not shot a pheasant yet, and if she does not get one soon Kadizzle may get shot. Old Kadizzle has managed to pop a couple. There is so much cover the little redheaded scoundrels have plenty of cover to hide in. Of course there has been some poor shooting. Once the crops come off and the cacklers have no where to hide they will pay for their evil ways. Today the campaign continues.

Young Lord Kadizzle

This is Kadizzle with his siblings many moons ago. According to my sister Kathleen I am the one standing with his mouth open beside the wagon.

Hazen Struggles to gain Sanity

Isolate yourself from reality.

Kadizzle can name so many people that make it a point not to watch or read anything that does not support the dream world they live in. Recently Kadizzle got in a prolonged written conversation with a fundamentalist. Repeatedly Kadizzle offered articles, books, and a variety of information to the poor girl lost in the fog. She wanted no part of it. Nothing was going to penetrate the world of stupidity she had concocted for herself. Kadizzle loves NPR. NPR is one source of news that goes out of its way to be truly fair and balanced. My young friend said she would not watch PBS or listen to NPR because Gwen Ifill played softball once with Obama. Bill Maher is about the best there is for going after the simple minded. I asked my friend if she watched him. Of course she did not. One consistant thing Kadizzle has found about those who chose to be ignorant is you can never pin them down. Kadizzle on many occasions has given one of the foggy minded an article and said "Read this and underline exactly what you disagree with". They never do. Frequently they will say "Well, that comes from the New York Times, so it has to be a lie". How easy it is to be stupid. Then you ask them "What is a good source for news?". They stare back at you with a blank look. Very quickly you realize when you talk to them all the information they do have is coming from the likes of Rush, Glenn Beck, and Fox. These people are being very careful to stay in their own world where Glenn makes up history, and Fox never apologizes for lying. Uninformed people are the biggest threat our country faces. We live in a country where knowledge is considered an evil indulgence by the East coast liberal elite. As my old Republican friend up the street always said "Education just confuses people". That is why communist countries are so care to make sure people do not have knowledge. In our country Rush, Glenn, and Fox take care of that for us.

As the escalator went up the pants went down

Kadizzle had been siting in the Chicago airport for two hours suffering from shear boredom. His seat happened to be close to where the escalator emerged from the floor below. As he glanced over at the escalator an older gentleman was proclaiming loudly to his wife with a lot of frustration, "This is he most embarrassed I have ever been in my life". As the man emerged from the escalator he walked duck style with his pants around his ankles. Apparently his britches had let loose on the escalator. Struggling to get his pants back up the man explained that he had not worn a belt. He thought this would make going through the metal detector easier. It was fine for that but did make the escalators a bit more of a problem. According to him he must have lost some weight while traveling and this would account for the pants coming down. He looked at me and said now what am I going to do. I told him there was a McDonalds near by, perhaps a couple cheeseburgers would remedy the situation. With his pants finally back at full mast he tried to make a scarf into a belt. Kadizzle hopes the rest of his day went better.

Kadizzle wanders into a strange store

A little bored waiting for Megan and The Commander to finish their beer in a bar where Megan used to bar tend, Lord Kadizzle stepped outside to wait on the sidewalk. Gazing into the store window next to the bar his lordship was a bit befuddled with the outfits on display. The outfits were a bit scanty and strange to say the least. Kadizzle decided to investigate further. As Kadizzle went into the store one of the first things he noticed were the fur lined hand cuffs. It soon became apparent what line of clothing this store was selling. Next his eye was caught by the pre-packaged outfits so your loved one could be a scantily clad nurse, police woman or what ever. Kadizzle turned to the clerk and said "It looks like this place is infested with Satan". The clerk responded that the music was strange for a satanic den, then Kadizzle notice the music was church music. The clerk explained that the computer was on the fritz and her selection on the radio just happened to feature church music. In the background the lyrics Hallelujah, Hallelujah, kept repeating. It seemed like such a nice touch for the dildo display. After inquiring about how well things were selling and getting a positive answer Kadizzle rejoined The Commander on the street. Kadizzle was going to ask The Commander if she needed anything from the store, but then he realized her inventory of whips and chains was in good shape and thought better of the notion. Perhaps The Commander would have enjoyed a skimpy general outfit, or a nice dictator suit with ruffles.

Bee Bumble Bee AKA Megan the fashion queen

Who ever thought our little Bee Bumble Bee would be a fashion designer in the heart of the Big Apple. Yesterday Bee Bumble also known as Cheech took us into the marble palace where she works. Lord Kadizzle and The Commander wandered around Macys, Cheech's new employer while waiting to see Meg in her new office. Turned out her office is in Penn Plazza. Even accompanied by the famous Cheech it took some finagling to get in. Once we got up near the sky we found where the Cheech nested. We got a preview of the fashions that will be appearing in the thrift store in Hazen around 2020. After some brief shopping for a camera, we were back in Brooklyn for Thai take out. One week in NYC and Kadizzle would be denser than spent uranium.

Life in the Big Apple

Luckily these people do not know there is an alternative universe. Instead of riding like packed sardines on the subway they could be casually driving home on a lonely road from a power plant in North Dakota, but here in NYC, the sardines are swimming against the current just to get home. Light speed is the pace of life in the metropolis. These people could not conceive of grabbing your shotgun and going for a stroll to blast a few pheasants in tranquility. I cannot work the spell checker on an apple computer, so forgive me. Total insanity is the only way to describe NYC. The poor Hasidic Jews have been forced by the white mans law to allow women to work in the store. These people are the strangest bunch of thieves that have ever breathed oxygen. Like so many that pretend to be orthodox they go nuts when they think no one is watching.

Kadizzle Lands in New York City

The Commander is brushing her teeth so she can start giving up dates. We call them UD's. A UD is usually something you all ready know like "Shut the door" or "It 's raining". The Commander sort of assumes Kadizzle is deaf, dumb, blind, and stupid. Since security is tight everywhere here Kadizzle almost managed to get himself locked out of the building on the fire escape. Kadizzle was trying to get to the roof top garden, which is not an easy task. Megan has a good view of the city from there. For a moment it looked like it was going to be a long walk down an exterior fire escape. Two country bumpkins will soon depart into the deepest depths of NYC. We may enter the subway here and appear at the end of the street in Hazen. From Megan's you have to go under the river to the main part of town. We have to put on snorkels Meg said when we go under the river. Meg said the subway conductor will announce when you put your snorkel on. This will be exciting. Kadizzle heard the Mafia throws bodies in the river, so we hope to see some out the subway window when we go under the river.

Kadizzle headed to NYC

Today the country bumpkins are headed to the big apple. Kadizzle has not yet decided if he will speak at the U.N. If he does it will be in the parking lot. Kadizzle will address the world about the problems facing the planet. The United States has fallen behind in just about everything. Our educational system is on the rocks. The dumber the better seems to be our new motto. We now have screaming idiots like Rush, Glenn, an Fox News producing morons at an unheard of rate. Stupidity is our biggest export. As the election nears we cannot wait to show the world that we can kick stupidity up a notch. We have an ex witch running in Delaware, we have Palin, Bachmann, and a host of women appealing to the simple minded. If the conservatives get their way in November the country will have reached a new low for a population totally dumbed down by Fox an Company. As the Chinese reach supremacy our population craves the simple answers offered by crying lying right wing idiots like Glenn Beck. Beck's current effort to rewrite history take the cake. In many cases he is off by a thousand years, but like one idiot said "I did not pay attention in High School, so I am learning history from Glenn Beck". Wow, what has happened. You may as well learn chemistry in a meth lab.

Glenn Beck the Modern McCarthy

Fall is upon us. Don't get where I will Fall

Fall is here. It is time to clean out the gutters, and the garden. Moving my old lumpy ass around on the roof with one shoe untied seemed like a sure recipe for a disaster. It is easy to see why this is one of the top dangers at a home. Looking from the roof at the yard everything looked pretty nice. The Commander was in the garden pulling up the last of the carrots. Earlier The Commander told Kadizzle to check a pepper to see if it was hot. The pepper had a delayed fuse. Kadizzle had to run in the house for water. Today we go to the lake top put the good ship to be. The amount of junk that will come of the Sovereign is amazing. Nest week we go visit our little fashion girl in New York City. This hick has not been to the Big Apple for over forty years. Megan is working at Macy's an it will be fun to visit her fashion empire. The next big phase of fall will be the great hunt. The usual group will gather at the railroad bunkhouse in Marmouth. Life has a definite rhythm for the Kadizzles. Each season is marked by its rituals.

The American Madrasah

Frequently in the news we see pictures of children in a Madrasah in Pakistan or Iran sitting there learning the Koran. In reality these kids learn nothing, and are often filled with hate for Americans. Sadly we have about the same thing in our country. Many of the so called Christian schools are nothing but the American version of the Madrasah. Resources that could be used to fund real schools and provide real improvement to public education are diverted to schools that indoctrinate, not educate. If the people so obsessed with protecting their children from reality would put the same effort into the public schools would the world not be a better place. Those behind the religious schools always demonize the public schools and insist on taking the easy way out and starting their own school instead of doing the hard thing and improving the public school. So many time you end up with the situation you have in Virginia. All the rich kids go to the private schools and all the poor blacks go to the public schools. Since the rich don't use the public schools they don't want to support them with taxes. Then these people have the audacity to cal themselves loving Christians. Go figure.

Transition Day

The good ship will come out of the water today, and the shotgun will come out of the closet. This marks the end of one season and the beginning of the next. This is how Kadizzle marks time in the endless cycle leading to the grave.

The Captain gets Horny

Recipe for Potato Crispers

Kadizzle remembered the good old day when he used to harvest potatoes with Charlie Johnson. Today Kadizzle checked out the potato field. Low an behold there was an acre of unharvested potatoes. Kadizzle harvested a big bucket full and washed them. The Commander had told Kadizzle in no uncertain terms he was to cook dinner. These potatoes were designed to become french fries. Kadizzle took a large pan and sliced the potatoes thin length wise. Carefully Kadizzle laid the orphan spuds out in the pan so they were all flat. Prior to that chef Kadizzle greased the large pan with some virgin olive oil. On top of the poor homeless potatoes Kadizzle put a few nice kernels of butter. A dash of garlic salt, some crazy salt and let the little munchkins cook at 350 until crisp. The commander was delighted as we ate potatoe crispers and watched the news. Perhaps tomorrow Kadizzle will rescue more Irish orphans. The taters that were not used today will be donated to Gerty. Gerty will make the poor fellows into Lefsa. Rescuing potatoes is not for everyone, but it brings joy to the Irish.

The Muslin Threat

Sleeping has become difficult thinking about the possibility the Muslins will build a Moss in Hazen. Once the Muslins do that we could end up with a community center where Muslins might exercise and read the Coran. However their is some comfort in the new Republican pledge to save America. The Republicans are proposing funding a new missile system. Yup, just what we need when the deficit is out of control. Since those silly Russians don't want to play war anymore who can we fire the missiles at? It must be the Muslins. Apparently there are some defense contractors out of work and the Republicans are going to build a defense system against ideas. If the system works on Muslins there is hope we can develop a missile defense against Hindus. Apparently the new missiles can detect Muslin head wear. If the missile senses a lot of people with too much cloth on their heads the missile will target them. You think Kadizzle is just fabricating this read the Republican Pledge to American. Those silly bastards actually say they want to destroy health care and restore tax cuts to the rich, and by the way the missile funding is in there.

Burn the Coran in the privacy of your own home

Hugging Old Ladies

Lord Kadizzle goes into the Hazen Thrift store on occasion. You can buy a good used towel there for ten cents. Take it home and clean the bath room, then throw it away. Yesterday Kadizzle wandered back to the back of the thrift store into a gaggle of old ladies sorting through junk. One of the ladies said "Are you Mike Quinn?". Kadizzle had recently written a letter to the local paper criticizing our hopeless District 33 Republicans. Kadizzle was expecting to get a good talking too from the senior citizen. With trepidation Kadizzle admitted he was in fact Mike Quinn. The cute little lady proceeded to laud praise on him for calling out the Republican bums. Kadizzle had to hug the lady. As Kadizzle left the store another senior lady also complimented him on his letter about the right wing dolts. Another hug was in order.

When Kadizzle wrote the letter he thought he would incur the wrath of every right wing loony in town. Much to his surprise nothing but compliments have ensued. Our local District 33 Republicans do nothing but protect us from gays, abortion, and make sure we have our guns and God. The Republicans that represent us never come to any meetings or advance our society. They are the classic just say NO bunch. Kadizzle thought the political climate in Hazen was hopeless, but if these senior women can see through the Republican scam there is surely hope.

The campaingn is off and running.

You want goofy, Kadizzle can show you goofy. Today will be the kick off for the Kadizzle Tea Party run. The Hazen Star is running my announcement for a write in candidacy today. My motto is "Why settle for a mediocre idiot, when you have the real thing?". If Kadizzle can get the support of Sara Palin perhaps we can put up a strong fight against the Muslin influence in North Dakota. If Kadizzle gets elected the socialist will no longer feel welcome in our town. There will be no more socialist fire department, and police department. If you want a fire truck hire one, don't expect everyone to kick in when you house catches fire. If someone robs your house call a friend. Why should I pay the police to protect you? This socialism has gone to far. Look at the roads we all have to pay for them. I never drive to New York, why should I have to pay for those roads. Because our so called conservatives have been asleep at the wheel North Dakota is the ONLY state with a state owned bank. Jesus we even have a socialist North Dakota Mill and Elevator. Where are our right wingers? Of course the worst sin of all is Social Security. Kadizzle will put an end to that nonsense after he collects a little to pay some bills. Kadizzle is against masturbation, unauthorized fun of any sort, and encouraging people to be poor with welfare. Now send me some money, so I can get this campaign against people getting you money underway.

Hitler Moves to Hazen

When this video begins click on it so it plays full screen and you can read the subtitles. The subtitles are everything.

Hauling Goats to Bismarck

When an old goat need to get to Bismarck to see the doctor, who do they call? Kadizzle. Today will be a goat hauling day. My old buddy Daryl will pull up in his white Cadillac shortly and we will be off to Bismarck. Daryl just had surgery on his hip. Because he is such an old goat they had a problem finding parts for him. Daryl is the envy of every old goat. Daryl has an older huge white Cadillac that every old person has always craved. In Florida the goats that have made it all drive these cars. When his chauffeur Kadizzle parks the beast goats come up and compliment him on the car. Kadizzle plays up the role of chauffeur for Daryl. When Daryl takes me out for breakfast Kadizzle announces loudly " I will bring up the car sir". There is the usual opening of the door and providing all the services a good driver should. Kadizzle needs a hat and the correct attire. Daryl likes to drive like an old goat, so he rarely goes more than 55 on the interstate. It drives him nuts when I go the speed limit.

Plea for Help gets some results.

A friend from Fargo suggested that if Kadizzle wants to run as a Tea Bagger he needs to sound dumber. He suggested Kadizzle call Muslims, Muslins. That is a great idea. We don't want them Muslins building a Moss near our homes. Next I think the Linens may be next, because I remember my mother saying she did not like Muslins or Linens. I think the Linens are more radical than the Muslins.

Kadizzle to run as write inn for State Senate

Kadizzle needs your help. Kadizzle want to run as a right wing lunatic in his local District 33. Hopefully this will draw a few votes away from the regular right wing lunatics. Below is a letter I would like to submit to the local paper. If you have nay ideas of how to make it more satirical or better, please feel free to let me know. This is just a draft and there is plenty of room for improvement




Dear Editor

I am submitting my name to the public as a write in candidate for the Ice Tea Party in Mercer County. I am seeking the Senate seat now held by Randy Christmann. What Mercer County needs is a candidate who will publicly speak out against Death Panels, The socialist threat of our county commission, and the right of Muslims to build Mosques in North Dakota. Randy Christmann has never taken a public stand against the Koran, masturbation, or gay Lutheran ministers. The people of District 33 need someone who will protect the tax breaks for the rich and be vocal about it. Has Randy Christmann ever denounced the lazy poor people in our county on welfare? Because the Republicans have been so lackadaisical about politics we now have a Kenyan president with a secret agenda to invoke Sharia Law. If elected I will take a strong stand in support of Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh and against health care for the poor. I will fight to make sure the richest Americans get the tax breaks they deserve. If elected you will get a representative who is not bashful about exposing the socialist agenda of everyone who is not a right wing Republican. If you want a milk toast right winger who will not speak up don’t vote for me. I will post my birth certificate at the post office and support laws that all candidates have to post their birth certificates. My fellow Tea Party candidate, Christine O’Donnell is standing up against science. She has denounced the attempts by scientist to breed humans with mice. Has Randy ever take a stand against science? Has Randy ever denounced evolution? District 33 needs activist right wingers willing to burn Korans on main street, willing to tell the truth about the infiltration of Basin by Al Qeada, and willing to suspend the constitution when it is in the best interest of the Republican Party

Nation Once Again Comes Under Sway Of Pink-Faced Half-Wit

Read this Onion article on Glenn Beck, it is hilarious, and really tells the story. Click on the link. Nothing scares Lord Kadizzle like the dumbing down of our country. Glenn Beck, Fox News, Rush Limbaugh, and Hanity represent an America where people fall for every trick Nazi Germany used in it's propaganda. The right wing media stirs hate, paranoia, and the worst aspects of human nature. The Republicans are actually making money convincing the ill informed that tax breaks for the rich is the best answer to all problems. People who could read real information have chosen to follow the Fox cult and become mindless shadows of Rush. In a country where so many fought so hard for the right to read anything you want, it is so sad so many have chosen to deliberately be idiots addicted to the story telling to the right wing propaganda machine.

The Commander takes the Helm

With the wind roaring in our face we beat our way to Bear Den Bay. The rail of the good ship Sovereign was under water for an hour at a time. Pat and Nancy made the run with us. Ruth and Rodger were a little way back. Everyone did a great job with some strong winds.

The Adventure Begins

Today the good ship takes off heading West. After our first good adventure on the Western end of the lake The Commander insist we make another trip. The weather looks a little intimidating today, but there is a good wind out of the East. Hopefully we will not get rain today.

Labor Day on the Lake with the fleet

Sailing Along

After we came out of Fossil Bay we came along Richard and Peggy. Pretty good wind our of the East. Of course you can hear The Commander in the background giving advice.

A Reality Check for the Glenn Beck Crowd

The current recession is the result of an economic policy that favors the rich. Until the country faces the reality that income distribution is a major problem in this country we are in deep trouble. The New York Times has a must read article, Share the Prosperity. The article lays it out so even a Glenn Beck Hooplehead can understand the problem.

Pre - Owned

You have to love the inventiveness of the people who remake words. Cars used to be used cars, now they are previously owned. It used to be an estate tax, now it is the death tax. My favorite take on the term was Red Skelton. As Freddy the freeloader he had an old beat up sport coat. Opening the coat he could display rows of cigar butts and ask the question "Could I interest you in a previously owned cigar?". Recently this happened to Kadizzle. A sailing friend Dean said he had a cigar for Kadizzle. Kadizzle's heart was filled with joy until Dean explained it was previously owned. Dean pulled out a half smoked cigar of good quality and Kadizzle got to wonder what the first half was like.

Anger Management

Anger Management

When you occasionally have a really bad day,
And you just need to take it out on someone,
Don't take it out on someone you know,
Take it out on someone you don't know,
But you know deserves it.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered
A phone call I'd forgotten to make.

I found the number and dialed it.

A man answered, saying
'Hello..'

I politely said,
'This is Chris.
Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?'

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear
'Get the right f***ing number!'
And the phone was slammed down on me.

I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.

When I tracked down Robyn's correct number
To call her,
I found that I had accidentally transposed
The last two digits.

After hanging up with her,
I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled
'You're an asshole!'
And hung up.

I wrote his number down
With the word 'asshole' next to it,
And put it in my desk drawer.

Every couple of weeks,
When I was paying bills or had a really bad day,
I'd call him up and yell,
'You're an asshole!'

It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced,
I thought my therapeutic 'asshole'
Calling would have to stop.

So, I called his number and said,
'Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company.
I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our
Caller ID Program?'

He yelled
'NO!'
And slammed down the phone.

I quickly called him back and said,
'That's because you're an asshole!'
And hung up.

One day I was at the store,
Getting ready to pull into a parking spot.

Some guy in a black BMW
Cut me off and pulled into the spot
I had patiently waited for.

I hit the horn and yelled
That I'd been waiting for that spot,
But the idiot ignored me.

I noticed a 'For Sale ' sign in his back window,
So I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later,
Right after calling the first asshole
(I had his number on speed dial)
I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole, too.

I said,
'Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?'

He said,
'Yes, it is.'

I then asked,
'Can you tell me where I can see it?'

He said,
'Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd. , in Fairfax
It's a yellow ranch style house
And the car's parked right out in front.'

I asked,
'What's your name?'

He said,
'My name is Don Hansen.'

I asked,
'When's a good time to catch you, Don?'

He said,
'I'm home every evening after five.'

I said,
'Listen, Don, can I tell you something?'

He said,
'Yes?'

I said,
'Don, you're an asshole!'

Then I hung up,
And added his number to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem,
I had two assholes to call.

Then I came up with an idea...

I called asshole #1.

He said,
'Hello'

I said,
'You're an asshole!'
(But I didn't hang up.)

He asked,
'Are you still there?'

I said,
'Yeah!'

He screamed,
'Stop calling me'

I said,
'Make me.'

He asked,
'Who are you?'

I said,
'My name is Don Hansen.'

He said,
'Yeah? Where do you live?'

I said,
'Asshole, I live at 34 oak tree Blvd., in Fairfax ,
A yellow ranch style home and
I have a black Beamer parked in front.'

He said,
'I'm coming over right now, Don.
And you had better start saying your prayers.'

I said,
'Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole,'
And hung up.

Then I called Asshole #2.

He said,
'Hello?'

I said,
'Hello, asshole,'

He yelled,
'If I ever find out who you are...'

I said,
'You'll what?'

He exclaimed,
'I'll kick your ass'

I answered,
'Well, asshole, here's your chance.
I'm coming over right now.'

Then I hung up and immediately called the police,
saying that I was on my way over to 34 oak tree Blvd, in Fairfax , to kill my gay lover.

Then I called Channel 7 News
about the gang war going down in oak tree Blvd in Fairfax .


I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax .

I got there just in time to watch two assholes
beating the crap out of each other
in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter
and surrounded by a news crew.

NOW I feel much better.

Anger management really does work.

Usually Ignorance is a choice

Being ill informed is not a requirement for anyone, it is a choice. A second choice is where you get your information. The dumbing down of our country is scary. People want to believe some silly nonsense, then they can find someone like Rush Limbaugh to reinforce their fantasy. Today the New York Times has an excellent article "Building a Nation of Know Nothings".

Read the article and pass it along to some hard core right winger. See if they choose to remain ignorant.

The Long Slug back to North Dakota

Today we head back from Evergreen. About ten hours from now we will pull back into our driveway in the middle of nowhere ND. After so many years in North Dakota everywhere else is crowded. Today we will travel through some of the most unpopulated areas in the country, from the extreme urban pollution of Denver to the blank places in the Dakotas, Wyoming, and Northern Colorado.

Upon this Rock

About three hours of work went into moving a two ton rock yesterday. Kadizzle and Fran moved the rock about ten feet. This was done with the most ancient technology possible. A lever, and a fulcrum were the main tools. Because of a drainage problem at the mountain retreat in Evergreen the rock had to move.

Busy Day at the Recycling Center

North Dakota Hoopleheads

Here is a challenge for anyone. Kadizzle is gong to give you a state with a lot of coal and oil under the Western end. Now Kadizzle is going to give you two dollars for every dollar you send to the federal government. Next your state gets billions in farm subsidies, and of course that is your major income. Now your challenge is to avoid looking good. North Dakota Hoopleheads are being told their Republican leaders are genesis. North Dakota Republicans are beating their chest about how they have a surplus of money they have stolen from the blue states. A key to stealing the money was electing Democrats to Washington to whine about the poor farmers. So what do the Republicans want to do? Every redneck in North Dakota wants to send Republicans to Washington to just say No. The real Hooplehead logic is the failure to realize North Dakota has an aging population. North Dakota will be more and more dependent on federal handouts. Drop kick me Jesus through the goal post of life, don't let me waver to the left or the right.

Grandma caught a wild Monkey

There is speculation humans can catch things from monkeys, and it could also go the other way. You will note both grandma and the monkey she caught are infected with what is known as Einstein hair. This young monkey caught high in the Rockies has an incredible vocabulary for a 15 month old monkey. This monkey has mastered all the sounds needed to pronounce just about anything. However, the monkey cannot yet grasp the Grandma, Grandpa routine, consequently Sylvie the monkey has two Grandma's. One has a beard and a big belly.

Baby Sitting at 8500 feet

Sylvie was up at 5:30. Her engine was running and in no time the day is started. As a grand parent it is hard to understand how we ever made it through the task of being a parent. It is a big job and requires constant attention. Erin, and Fran both work from home, so someone has to distract Sylvie while they work. Erin is in New York, so that leaves the grandparents. Yesterday was a day of walks, splashing in the pool, and constant energy. Kadizzle cannot figure how ancient people or pioneers dealt with children. It seems to have been impossible to move a wagon train across the country with a bunch of little kids. How did Indians live in cliff dwellings with little children. How could anyone survive with two or three little kids tagging along. The people of old did not have strollers, diapers, baby bottles, cups that do not spill, and baby intercoms. One could easily understand how infant mortality could have been terrible. Add to everything else coping with childhood disease, and medical problems. How did they do it?

The Stagecoach Stop

Traveling from Hazen to Evergreen, Colorado chances are you are going to travel on two important old stage coach routes. One stage ran from Bismarck to Deadwood, and the other ran from Cheyenne to Deadwood. By chance Kadizzle stopped at a historic marker to empty his radiator. The marker gave a brief history of the Bismarck stage. That stagecoach could make the run from Bismark to Deadwood in 36 hours. It must have been a grueling trip. Later in the day as the Kadizzle adventure searched for a place to pitch a tent they had to go looking for Tom. The Kadizzles wanted to camp in the yard of an old school they found down a gravel road. Some fellows at the intersection said Tom was down at the old stage coach stop cutting the grass for the election on Tuesday. When we found Tom he said we could camp at the school house and gave us a brief history of the Cheyenne to Deadwood stage. His grandfather had been a driver on that road. This is the stage stop.

Bad Luck with Tires.

Nothing lets the air out of you life, like the air quickly coming out of the new tire you just bought. Kadizzle has become a specialist in sidewall catastrophes. The latest was today. After a terrible day yesterday where all our plans went afoul driving to Denver we ended up in a State Park in Wyoming. It was one of those days where is something could go wrong it did. Finally at nine we crawled in the tent and thought one terrible day was over, but no, some idiot ran a generator until 1 A.M. Kadizzle was going to confront the Dinger, but The Commander suggested he might get his ass whooped.

When the sun rose Kadizzle hoped for a better day. Prior to leaving the Kadizzles had prepared a special coffee kit so we could have fresh ground coffee brewed by the tent in the morning. One small problem, no matches. Steam came from Kadizzle long before it ever would come from the coffee. Simple solution, go get some matches. Kadizzle jumped in the car and headed out. Carefully looking, backing and going slowly to avoid rocks Kadizzle tried to drive out of the camping spot. It was not to be. A strange crashing sound with a boom signaled a flat tire. It was not a simple flat tire that could be patched, but a ruined sidewall. The rock Kadizzle hit had to be hit with such precision to cause this problem that it is unlikely the feat could be duplicated. So it looked like a new tire, but you don't just buy the tire to match the other in nowhere Wyoming. After driving thirty miles to Wheatland, we had to buy a temporary new tire in order to get to Erin's. Next we find the damaged tire is covered by a warranty, but the warranty is only honored in Bismarck, North Dakota. Never, never buy those silly road protection warranties unless you never intend to travel. Last winter we had to replace a tire on our truck when a nail went through the sidewall. The year before a shell casing went though a tire sidewall. The tire lasted two days until we got to Erin's when a drywall screw went though it. Kadizzle would guess we have spent over one thousand dollars in the last three years from damage to the sidewalls of our tires.

A Licenced Genius

Kadizzle once had a friend who was a licensed genius. Often we would get in an argument and he would explain to Kadizzle that he had a card in his wallet that proved he was a genius. Although Kadizzle graduated from college, and attended graduate school for two years Kadizzle has never become licensed as a genius, although Kadizzle probably is one. How do you become a licensed genius? It used to be you could get licensed through Readers Digest. If you suspected you might be a genius you could sign up for a test from Mensa. Mensa is an organization for geniuses. My good friend did not pass the genius test the first time he took it. You can study and take the test more than once if you are not a real fast genius. The nice thing is that it takes no educational qualifications to become a genius. My friend did not graduate from high school. The time and money he saved by getting certified saved him a fortune. No college expenses, no text books to buy, no countless hours wasted studying and reading. If Kadizzle had known he would have taken the test early. If you get in an argument with someone who is a certified genius and they pull out their card you are lost. No point in going any further. The first time it happened to Kadizzle he just shut up bowed his head and walked away. Being wrong is never pleasant, but having a certified genius tell you that you are wrong really puts you in your place. Kadizzle has learned not to argue with cerified geniuses. The best thing to do is tell them what you think and ask them if you could be right. Once you are certified you don't have to renew your certification. Imagine if two guys applied for a job. One had a doctorate degree from Harvard, and the other one was a certified genius from Readers Digest. Who would pass up the genius? Kadizzle recommends that if you think you might be a genius you take the test. You never know. The Commander says Kadizzle is a certified idiot. I think she can administer that test. The certification to be an idiot is not that hard. All the commander did was ask Kadizzle to do the dishes, and cut the grass. Kadizzle said he could not find the dish soap, and the mower was out of gas. The Commander said to Kadizzle "you are a certified idiot". Hopefully the card will come in the mail in a few days and Kadizzle can register as a Republican.

Hopeless politics

Last night Kadizzle attended a dinner honoring Dorgan. Dorgan seems like he just gave up. You could just see somehow that he felt the mess in the Capital is hopeless. Basically he is a good man fighting for the common people. As Kadizzle sat there bored to death with the typical political nonsense he recalled once when he called Dorgan. Cannot even remember what the call was about. Kadizzle expected to get some secretary in an office that would give him the brush off. Instead Dorgan took Kadizzles call in the hallway of the Senate. Dorgan spoke as long as he could and said he had to leave for a vote. Kadizzle has always been amazed in North Dakota that when you want to get hold of a person in government you can. Years ago Kadizzle had a problem with a car dealer in Bismarck. Kadizzle called the attorney general. The AG took the call said he would take care of the problem, and he did. Kadizzle was new to North Dakota and never thought such a thing was possible.

Sadly our government has been brought to a standstill by Republicans that can only say no. Like little stubborn children they just say no. To get elected all they have to do is play one of their magic cards, guns, gays, abortion, or god. If a brick took the Republican stand on guns, gays, god, and abortion the brick could win office forever in North Dakota. Currently we have enough bricks in North Dakota to build a wall that will stop progress forever. Dorgan is right to feel hopeless.

Chaos in the Universe

Disorder drives some people nuts, Lord Kadizzle has a high tolerance for disorder. On the other hand The Commander demands things pretty orderly. Thinking about this Kadizzle remembered an old song he once heard. The exact words to the song will not come back, but the jest of the story was something like this. A neighbor lady came over to another woman who was in her yard and complained about the fact that the woman's husband was out in the yard every day acting like a chicken. The neighbor asked the old hill billy woman if it bothered her that every day her husband walked around in the yard flapped his arms like a chicken and cackled. The old hill billy lady said "No it don't bother me, and besides we can use the eggs". Life is what you make it. Look on the bright side.

God loved the Chiggers

Mark Twain was probably one of the best writers that ever lived. He hated flies. One book he wrote that never was published in his life time was "Letters from the Earth". Mark Twain was not religious in fact he was very anti religious. In order to sell his works his family tried to cloak this as best they could. In "Letters from the Earth" Twain had a lot of fun at the Bible's expense. One very entertaining story he wrote was about how Noah had to get everything on the arch. After Noah had been at sea for six weeks Noah realized he had no flies. Noah had to turn the ship around and get two flies. Twain was always infuriated with flies and could not understand why Noah brought them. Lately Kadizzle and other sailors have been the victims of chiggers. These little bugs are common to the south, but with global warming now seem to be making good homes in North Dakota. If you ever had them you know they are worse than flies. Like Mark Twain Kadizzle wonders what Noah was thinking when he herded two chiggers up the gang plank. Did Noah have any clue what he was doing. This is a picture of one of his crew members after they were bitten by the chiggers.

Kadizzle Threatened with death

As usual The Commander woke up like a nuclear power plant coming online. She said things were going to happen fast. It was going to be a hot day and The Commander wante the grass cut while it was cool. Kadizzle was disqualified for cutting the grass this year. Apparently his methods were lacking. However, Kadizzle is the clipping boy, and is allowed to refill the mower with gas. Things were looking good. Kadizzle went to the gas station got gas as instructed, did the dishes as instructed, placed the wheelbarrow in the proper position as instructed, put the pickup truck in the loading position as instructed. Things were going good until Kadizzle went to get the mail. Kadizzle got caught in a little BS session at City Hall. Sure enough his cell phone rang and the jig was up. In a furious voice The Commander informed Kadizzle the death penalty would be applied if he did not get home forthwith and empty the grass clippings from the wheelbarrow into the pickup. To cover his posterior when he got home Kadizzle made The Commander a nice glass of ice water. Apparently there will be a court marshall hearing later today. Hopefully Kadizzle can throw himself on the mercy of the court. According to The Commander death by stabbing is the normal punishment for failure to empty the wheelbarrow as scheduled. Hopefully it will be a long knife, if she uses the pearing knife it may take multiple blows to go through all this fat. To appease The Commander Kadizzle has purchased a new mower shown above.

The Fox is in the Hen House

Captain Kit runs the marina where poor old Kadizzle has to get the sewage pumped out of his boat. Lately Captain Kit has not been taking his medication as required. He fired the nice kid that worked at the dock and has been in a foul mood. Kadizzle and Kit have been in a kerfuffle over one of Kadizzles rants to the Bismarck Tribune. The mean old Captain has made it clear that Kadizzle's droppings are no longer welcome at his sewage pump. Last week Kadizzle let it be known among the fleet that the code phrase to indicate Kit is working the docks is "The Fox is in the Hen house". If a reasonable person is working the docks one should announce on the radio " The Chickens are laying eggs". Last week as luck would have it Kadizzle was first to the pump out station and announced "The Chickens are laying eggs". The Fox was in the Hen House yesterday, and things did not look good. As Kadizzle pulled in to get his sewage pumped a storm was brewing in the southeast. On the dock a storm was brewing between Kit's ears. The mere site of Kadizzle's ship was driving him wild. Kadizzle circled the good ship Sovereign in front of the docks while a power boat struggled to take on fuel. When it looked as if Kadizzle could leave Kit the best of all possible shipments, Kit emerged from the Hen house with a face bright red with anger and yelled to the Sovereign " The pump is broken, I can't pump you out". What a terrible stroke of luck for Kadizzle. The good ship "Gone with the Wind " had just pumped out, but mechanical devils struck. This luck has hit Kadizzle before. Kit has a pump unlike any most people have encountered. The pump heals itself. After Kadizzle leaves it is not unusual for the pump to heal and then next ship gets pumped out. Kadizzle has a hand pump that would allow him to pump the sewage into buckets. Captain Kadizzle thought about pumping the sewage into buckets and leaving it on Kit's dock. It would be fun to say to Kit "I'll just leave my sewage here, when you get the pump fixed pump it out, and I'll come back for the buckets". Of course on leaving it would be nice to flip him a fifty cent piece.

Sovereign successfully attacked several ships.

Sailing is certainly easier than cleaning the boat. After several harsh hours obeying The Commander as the boat was cleaned it was time to have some fun. As we cleaned the boat Jayden watched, questioned, and commented. Jayden is the grandson visiting his grandparents on the neighboring houseboat. Jayden has sailed with us before, and he began to hint it would be nice to go out for a sail. The wind was just right and it did not take a lot to push Kadizzle over the edge. Over the protest of The Commander Lord Kadizzle unleashed the good ship and we took off in search of treasure. Out in the big water we spotted two ships. One looked heavily laden with goods. Our maneuvers were ill considered and poorly timed and the the ship managed to make the Evil Capetian Kits port before we could unleash our cannons. However, the swashbuckling Jayden soon spotted a smaller prize. Jayden had been in the crows nest looking for booty when he spotted the other ship. The cannons were readied on the starboard side. Kadizzle had instructed Jayden to act friendly so as not to give away our evil intent. As the other ship neared Jayden waved and smiled. It worked the cannons were fired and the ship slowly sunk as we unloaded the booty. In retrospect now Kadizzle recalls how this adventure started. Jayden was playing with the winches on the boat. Kadizzle tried to explain to him how they worked, but realized it would be easier to show him under sail. Jayden picked it up pretty quickly once underway. More young people need to study the profession of piracy first hand, and spend less time in front of the computer. With piracy becoming more popular these days off the northwest coast of Africa it could be a good career.

The Lord Works in Strange Ways

Surely the Lord does work in strange ways. It took Lord Kadizzle three years with the help of many to build the Pocket Park on Main Street in Hazen. Tonight a local family gave an excellent musical performance there which was mainly Christian music. The crowd was overflowing into the ally and it brought great joy to Lord Kadizzle's heart to see the park so well used. Listening to the wonderful performance Kadizzle could not but wonder about the mischievousness of the Lord. At best Kadizzle is an agnostic, and at worst an orthodox atheist. Never would Kadizzle have dreamed he would build the biggest Christian music venue in Hazen. It is a dream come true to see so many people enjoy a summer evening in what was once an abandoned lot with weeds knee high. When I die I am sure someone will have my fat rendered into bio diesel for a church bus. Kadizzle will get to heaven even if it is through an exhaust pipe.

The Same Story

It would be nice if Kadizzle was not as guilty as everyone else, but the same stories get told over and over. As we get older the nice thing is we all lose our memories. So if we are lucky we forgot the last time Willy told us about the time he caught a fish that had swallowed a cigarette lighter and when he cut it open the lighter was still burning. Usually the lapse between when you tell the same person the same story is a couple of months or a year, but when you reach a certain age you may only be able to go an hour or two. Wives are the ones who really suffer in this story game. The poor commander has heard Kadizzles stories so many times she often puts a halt to them right out of the gate. This saves someone the tragedy of hearing the whole mess over. People tell stories because our society does not like issues of substance to be debated in public. If you take religion and politics off the table there is not much left but to tell the same stories over and over. People can talk about books, movies, or sports, but this can be hard on the illiterate like Kadizzle. One technique Kadizzle has adopted as a listener to a repeat tale is to see how well the current version matches last years. If you listen closely the location often changes and so do many of the key details. So you are not always listening to the same story, but often a new and improved version. The most fun is to listen to a story when you were one of the characters. Since you were there you have your own version of what happened. The fun part is comparing your reality with the story tellers reality. So if you are bored hearing the same story over test your memory while you listen to how Uncle Willy had an old dog that could sing.

Fight the Rats and save hundreds of dollars

For over an hour Kadizzle fought on the phone today against the health care rats at Blue Cross and finally won. Blue Cross refused to pay for a prescription because it was not prior approved. The prescription was for an emergency. Finally one of the dunderheads higher up the food chain at Blue Cross realized you cannot prior approve an emergency. One thing Kadizzle has realized in life is that when you deal with corporate American you have to just keep going up the food chain until you reach someone who can make an intelligent decision. Kadizzle has done this hundreds of times. The medical system in the United States is terrible and the most overpriced in the world. You will not understand this until you have to pay for it. I can get Benicar in Canada for $98. In Hazen it is $235. I hate Blue Cross, The crooked American drug companies and the right wing Hoopleheads that made sure we did not have the same health care most advanced countries do. For lack of health insurance my daughter just paid thousands for medications that would have been covered in any advanced country but this one. My daughter is not a welfare cheat. She works hard and has been trying to start her own business. In the United States we bankrupt young people so the rich don't have to pay taxes. It is wonderful. Drill baby drill.