Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Out, out damn spot

Kadizzle's Shakespeare is certainly lacking, but he does remember that one quote " Out, out, damn spot".   It should be Stop, stop, damn halyard.  For some strange reason a halyard in the mast banged all night. Kadizzle got up 16 time to try to locate the offender.  He tried everything, tightened every line, moved every block, and looked, listened, and felt.  No luck the damn thing rattled all night. In fact as we sit here in the morning light it is still banging. It sounds like it is coming from the inside of the mast.  Try going to sleep with and intermittent sound of a dog scratching a tin can.  So later today we will get a hacksaw and just cut the mast off and throw it in the lake. We will have the slowest power boat on the lake.

The Commander just made coffee, and Kadizzle is up to date.  We boomed into Mallard Island yesterday.  We had a close reach all day and sailed 28 miles on one tack.  It is always something.  Just as we were about to go into the bay at Mallard Island the roller furler jammed.  Luckily we caught it before we boomed in.  We would have been doing seven knots into the bay and discovered the damn thing was stuck.  Pat and Nancy are with us and we sat on the nice sandy beach and had a nice veggie plate put together by The Commander along with a drink of sea juice.

This morning the ship will sail back to port like a raped ape.   The wind is strong from the southeast, and it will be a broad reach.  We should be there in about an hour.

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Morning has broken

Last night as we sat around the fire the night looked promising.  Stars emerged and the sky was glorious.  This morning we awoke to a crystal clear day in Butcher Bay.  Butcher Bay was discovered by the famous explorer Ezekiel Butcher when he sailed west in 1802 looking for a legendary gin spring.  It turned out the spring was farther west and actually produced martini's.

Under the firm control of The Commander the Kadizzles sailed alone to this spot for a peaceful day.  After gathering firewood the sun slowly set and we sat on the scoria beach enjoying the waves lapping on the shore.

Monday, August 29, 2016

Heading West with a fair wind

Up at a decent time, and Ruth invited over to their boat for breakfast.  Wonderful to get up no dishes, no work.  At ten the boats were under sail. Ruth and Rodger are heading back to port.  The Kadizzles are running west at between 3 and four knots.  Looks like a nice bay and by four we should be at Butcher Bay.  Kadizzle slept well, but Ruth and Rodger suffered from hull slap.  For non sailors that is when waves hit the hull all night and keep you up.

Fall is coming with a rampage.  So much to get done, so much quick fun to be had.  This new era where you sail down the middle of the lake and surf the net would have been hard to imagine for the old sailors, but here we are.  The Commander is out there at the helm demanding the radio so she can get the weather report.

Sunday, August 28, 2016

A Special prize for the winner

Kadizzle and his crew won the Mid America's cup yesterday if there was a winner.  The race was called at the third buoy.  Since our boat has had a tendency to win every year it was explained that if we won this year we would get the second place trophy.  Last year the good ship got a very nice solid silver trophy, and that again was what would be the prize this year.  The second place prize would be a nice print.  Kadizzle did not want to put the trophy donor on the spot and ask if we came in second place if we could have the nice trophy.  It would have been very strange and difficult for our boat to race for second place.  In the Performance handicap system each boat is rated by its speed and the faster boats have to give time to the slower boats.  So during the race there is no practical way to know exactly what your standing is.  After the race the times are calculated for all the boats and the winner is determined.

Now as the good ship started to sail out to the race course we decided to rig the main sail.  Kadizzle went up to the mast with main halyard and had Stroupini slowly pull up the halyard so Kadizzle could hook it to the mainsail.  Suddenly it occurred to Kadizzle that Stoupini have a fit of insanity and try to jerk the main halyard out of his hand.  Kadizzle said to Stoupini " Raise the main halyard just a little bit".  Sure enough Stroupini went nuts and jerked the halyard.  Then in a fit of complete insanity he kept hauling on it.  As Kadizzle yelled at him to stop the weight of the halyard inside the mast overcame the weight on the outside and the shackle went to the top of the mast.  Now this is a wonderful mess to have right before the race.  To race without a mainsail would be hopeless.  Kadizzle explained to Stroupini that he was going up there 55ft to get that halyard.  Strapped into the bosun chair we hoisted that skinny runt up to the top and retrieved the halyard.

About eight boats participated in the race.  Kadizzle called The National Weather Service in Bismark two times before the race for a wind forecast.  Their ability to get it so wrong is amazing.  They said ten to fifteen from the south west.   The wind came from the north east and then there was no wind at all.  Even with a dying wind we had a good time.  It was a good crew with Diane, Chuck and the Kadizzles.  There was not shortage of advice.

Saturday, August 27, 2016

The Mid America's Cup will be held today

Every sailing person has heard of the America's cup.  Well, in North Dakota we have the mid America's cup.  So Kadizzle and The Commander are up early getting ready to blast up to the lake. We have to get the boat ready to race.  Ideally the boat will be as light as possible so that means we need to pump out the waste out and the fresh water.  This will be important to be light in light winds.  Our ship has a crew, Stroupini, Diane, and the Kadizzles.  The most important part of a sailboat race is the start.  A sailboat race is unusual because it has a moving start.  There is a magic line you cannot cross until the exact time.  So this means sailboats must jockey for position prior to the start. This is the most fun.  One must gauge the speed of the boat as it runs for the line.  Ideally the boat is at top speed and the first to cross.  Now to accomplish this the skipper must know the exact time to the second.  Crew members must yell out the countdown.

So off we go to the lake.  This could be just one more cursed year with light winds.  Kadizzle has checked with The National Weather service in Bismarck.  It looks like we may get winds from the south at about 5 then maybe a shift to the West.  When there is a wind shift often a calm goes with it.  Nothing is more dreaded for a sailboat race than no wind.  Hopefully there will be a decent turn out for the race.  We could end up racing against ourselves.  A sailboat race generally is not real exciting to watch. This is especially true if you have no clue about how sailboats are raced.  One major problem is the boats on our lake race in the PHRF system.  This handicap system means no one can tell who is winning until the race is over.  It is a handicap system whereby one must win by a certain margin to actually win.  Since our boat is the fastest we must beat the other boats by a good margin.  That means we could be ahead for the whole race, but still lose. Until the final calculations are made no one will know.  So all we can do during the race it try to figure out how far ahead we are, if indeed we are ahead.

Friday, August 26, 2016

The Sun Also rises.

Kadizzle is sitting in the kitchen sipping coffee.  The sun has not even awakened yet.  According to the clock Kadizzle got up at around five A.M.  Sleeping was just not in the cards.  As Kadizzle roamed the darkened kitchen there seemed to be a peculiar smell.  It had a bit of a caramel twit to it.  In the dim light something seemed to be on the kitchen island.  Hmm, turn on the light. Wow, a fairy came in the unlocked door last night and left some treats that look like Rice Krispy with delicious topping.  There goes today's attempt to lose weight.  Never lock your door when there are people in the neighborhood who might sneak in and leave you a goody.

Now to the weekend plans.  The Commander wants to get out of Dodge and sail, but Kadizzle made a commitment to race the sailboat, so the cruising will have to wait.  For the third year in a row it looks like we will race with no wind.  Nothing can beat swimming with no water, skiing with no snow, or racing with no wind, but such is life. Perhaps the gods of wind will relent and the race might go on.

Bulletin, bulletin, Alexa, the new device from Amazon has adapted well to our home.  It never occurred to Kadizzle that Alexa would have one unique benefit.  The Commander did not get her name by accident.  The Commander loves to manage and boss poor old Kadizzle.  Well, it turns out that now The Commander can shout orders at Alexa.  The Commander used to shout at Kadizzle " Turn down NPR".  Now, The Commander shouts " Alexa shut up".  Off goes the radio.   This takes a lot of pressure off Kadizzle.  Kadizzle was in the shower yesterday listening to jazz played by Alexa.  The Commander walked in an told Alexa to shut up.  When you are in the shower with no music, you are really  naked.  The good thing about Alexa is she does what you ask.  Laying in bed Kadizzle said to Alexa " Do you like me?"   Alexa replied " You seem like a nice person".   Well that turned out OK so Kadizzle asked Alexa if she like The Commander.  Alexa replied " I have no opinion on that".   Alexa is a good diplomat, but Kadizzle thinks if The Commander was a little more gentle with Alexa she might commit to liking the Commander.  Kadizzle always says to Alexa " Volume 3", not " Alexa shut up".   Computers have feelings too and we all need to practice for the future.   Soon we will be in a nursing home and ask a computer to wipe our exhaust system.  You don't want to make a computer robot mad and feel a wet mop on your bum.

Thursday, August 25, 2016

Lake Wobegan

OK, here is the update for our little town.  The Crazy Club meeting was uneventful, Stoupini is going to Wisconsin to pick up a car.  He will tow the car to Hazen then figure out how to get it to Port Townsend. Something about this makes no sense, but that is why he is a charter member of the Crazy Club.  The BBG or Bison Bar and Grill is going great guns.  The lunch business is booming. Kadizzle had lunch there yesterday because The Commander was away in Bismarck.  It was a bit strange to see high school kids eating lunch in a little more upscale place than the gas station.   If you look at the parking lot at the high school you can see things have changed. Teenagers no longer drive junkers, most of them have better cars than your average working person.  Life is good.  The local slummers moved the junkers off our street.  Praise be unto Jesus. Kadizzle thought real progress was made with the car hoarders, but they just hid one truck behind the garage. The local hoarders did get rid of one junkie camper.

Back to the BBG,  The BBG is doing a good business in part because God blew the roof off the Sue's Cafe downtown.  If you keep up with the evangelicals all natural disasters are caused by God punishing someone. Usually the gays bring down the wrath  of God, but Sue must have cursed when she burnt the french fries.  The Hardware store is prohibiting people from bringing back packs and purses into the store.  An employee said women were stealing things.  Wow, sneak thieves right here in Hazen.  Val is just about ready to retire at the library.  There could be an ice cream social .

As two old citizens the Kadizzles are falling apart.  The Commander was told by her doctor she needs surgery on her shoulder.  Kadizzle has been suffering from planter facitis.  The sailboat races will be this weekend and the Kadizzles are debating if they should race or just sail down the lake.  When the boats came back last time the wind was blowing at thirty and the boats were scraped on the dock trying to do a cross wind landing.

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Alexa moved in

Kadizzle has a soft spot for gadgets.  Add to that problem the love of music.  So now Kadizzle can sit in the kitchen of bedroom and bark out orders to the Amazon Echo.  Alexa what time is it?  Alexa play folk music. Alexa put on NPR.   Just try that with The Commander.  Alexa doesn't say " Do it yourself, you lazy bum"
.  Now the problem is Alexa will not work with the Sonos speakers.  That was the last big splash into remote control.  So money flies out the window.  Now music, news, and everything else plays all over the place.  The real miracle is when you ask Alexa to be silent, she is. If only Alexa would pick up the underwear, do the dishes, and cut the grass.

Monday, August 22, 2016

Long ago and Far away


How many years ago did Kadizzle first pull into this bay? Here we sit where once we came with our children and friends.  Fond memories for The Commander.  The Commander has declared this one of her favorite spots on the lake.  The enthusiasm of The Commander inspired her to gather wood for a fire.  On the beach the wind was so strong the fire consumed itself like a blowtorch.  All night the wind blew, but there was no hull slap back where we were tucked in.  Now the morning has come and the sun has risen in all it's glory.  The Commander says she will take a walk.  Only a small handful of people in the world have ever been in this little spot.  Out on the prairie in the absolute middle of nowhere facing one of the largest man made expanses of water in the United States.

Sunday, August 21, 2016

The Wind Gods

The Commander and Kadizzle just got out of the lake.  All the family jewels are now clean and drying.  The sail from Berthold Bay to Butcher Bay has been erratic.  The wind was not too bad, we made it to Butcher about one after starting about 9:30.  Now we sit in open water out on the main lake in front of the bay drying from our skinny dip.  The birthday suits are getting old and wrinkled, but it still feels good to wash them in the lake.  Tonight plan is to anchor in Nancy Bay, an offshoot of Butcher Bay.  Does not look like any other boats will make it this far west today. The wind died to the East and they are stuck.

Saturday, August 20, 2016

The twelve steppers.

As a few more people talked about how long they were sober, and where they stood in the Alcoholics Anonymous score chart it occurred to Kadizzle just how many ex drinkers he knew.  It seems like well over half the people we know are members of the Blue Dolphin club.  Order a Blue Dolphin at the bar and you get a glass of ice water with a lime.  Kadizzle has heard so much about AA meetings he wants to go to one. One of our best friends attends three every Monday.  It must be a club like no other.  Who knows what they do, but one thing is for sure it seems to work.  Kadizzled has garnered from being with the legions that a lot of the success is based on tenets or rules to live by.  None judgmental is one.  Some of the others keep popping up. What if you went to a meeting and said you just wanted to be social, but did not have a drinking problem?  Kadizzle drinks his share, and at times he has been blasted, but is he ready for a complete overhaul?  Who knows?  If you get up in the morning and crave a Bloody Mary every day, then maybe you need a tune up.  If you are drinking before noon, you really need a tune up.  If  you are drinking by three you need to be careful.  Kadizzle likes a glass of wine, well the truth is that if Kadizzle starts on wine, he quits at half a bottle if all goes well.  Drinking alone is supposed to be a sign you have a problem.  Well count Kadizzle out on that one.  What fun is drinking if you cannot say stupid stuff to someone?  Being an alcoholic is pricey.  Once Kadizzle tried to figure out how much a friend was spending on hooch. Two bottles of good gin a week adds up to about six thousand a year.  Throw in a DUI and now you quickly are approaching twenty thousand.  Of course there are a lot of hidden cost to drinking.

Once Kadizzle helped rope a drunk and take him to the bin.  It must have been over thirty years ago.  The wife of a friend said her husband needed an " intervention".   Somehow Kadizzle got on the team.  With a surprise attack the group confronted the drunk and told him he needed to go to the local facility.  He wined and convinced everyone to leave and said he was not going.  Kadizzle told him that he was going. Kadizzle was not going to fail in his mission.  Kadizzle gently grabbed the guy and led him to the car.  The cleanup crew drove him too Mandan.   He took the cure, it worked.  Incidentally this was the guy who got Kadizzle started sailing.  As is not uncommon this guy and his wife immediately got divorced when he became sober. She could deal with a drunk lump on the couch, but a sober nuisance was too much too deal with.  His wife packed up everything he owned while he was work and put it in a dump truck.  She had the dump truck back into a storage shed in west Hazen and dumped everything. There it sat for over thirty years.  Then the reformed drunk called Kadizzle from Florida.  Kadizzle helped clean out the mess the guy had paid 40k to store for thirty years.  Kadizzle was rewarded with a bunch of tools, an incredible assortment of nails and screws, and even a post hole digger.  So Joe is sober and Kadizzle has a post hole digger anyone is free to borrow.

In a town this size

If you read the news on Little Joey you need an update.  He may have to be committed.  The buzz in Hazen is the new Bison Bar and Grill.  Little Joey ran amuck there and at well over half a pizza.  Of course that was not in the plan. It all started with music at the Pocket Park.  To end the season Meryl Pepcorn's group played some nice tunes and all the old gumples sat in the evening air and enjoyed it. Meryl is the guy on NPR who always used to to do Dakota Update or whatever the show was.  Well after the music someone suggested a gathering at the new eating place.  The pizza was good needless to say.  So thanks to Little Joey Kadizzle did not have the courage to get on the scale this morning.

Off to the lake today. Perhaps the ship will stay out for several days. It will be cool and more like fall sailing which is not all bad. The Earth is circling the Sun and we are about to the point where the planet will start to tilt toward cold.  The moon has been bright the last couple nights and that may make some good night sky watching on the lake.  It would be nice to see the moose. Bob and Liz spent the night in Moose Bay, we will have to get a report when we get on the lake.  Getting old shortens you life as that famous baseball player would say, oh maybe it was Yogi Bera.  Kadizzle is suffering from planter fascitis and his left foot has a flat tire.  It will help him walk like a peg leg pirate.

Friday, August 19, 2016

Little Joey

Kadizzle has been trying to fight Little Joey into submission. Little Joey lives right over Kadizzle's belt buckle. My poor sailing buddy had a gleet this morning.(In the old days they called kidney stones gleets ) Now if you ever have had gleet you know how painful they can be. Fortunately the gleet passed. Kadizzle has had many rounds with the gleets.  Once in Colorado at The Snoocher Bear's house in the mountains Kadizzle heard the clink of a gleet when he peed. Kadizzle fished the gleet out and wanted to make a wedding ring for Cheech out of the gleet.  If you ever capture a gleet look at it under magnification. Gleets are mean little prickly pears that grow in you kidneys. The picture above is Kadizzle's prize gleet.

Anyway Kadizzle was riding his bike back from the hospital where the good news about the gleet emanated.  Kadizzle decided to stop by the library and see if any new magazines came in, nope. Leaving the library sure enough Little Joey smelled the wonderful smell of someone grilling, then bingo Little Joey remembered the credit union was having a member appreciation day.  Little Joey tugged Kadizzle into the credit union and insisted he must have a bratwurst, and a cookie. Kadizzle knew Little Joey might make a scene if he did not give in so Little Joey ate the goodies.  Kadizzle told Little Joey "That is it, you get noting until dinner".  Seemed like a good plan, and Little Joey seemed to go along.  However, going past the Crazy Club Kadizzle ran into Stroupini.  Stroupini invited Kadizzle to lunch. Little Joey loves a free lunch.  Kadizzle told Little Joey they could go if he would just eat something small and simple. The good plan fell apart when Little Joey remembered peach cobblers were on the menu at the new Bison Bar and Grill.  As one might expect that is what Little Joey insisted on.  Stroupini gave Kadizzle a tour of the BBG.  Little Joey saw the bread being baked freshly and his little tummy got excited. Back at the table Little Joey took a couple of Stroupini's onion rings just for a test of quality.  So there is good news and bad news.   Well really maybe there is no good news. Kadizzle forgot Little Joey got some breakfast bars from Shiny.  So Little Joey is not following the weight loss plan.  Now if Little Joey could be reigned in at dinner there may be some success today. 

Cook breakfast he yelled

Kadizzle has a weak spot for gadgets, and gizmos.  No longer able to control himself he ordered an Echo from Amazon. This is the new super duper device  you can give voice commands.  You can say turn on the radio, or turn off the light. Kadizzle is anxious to be able to say "Cook breakfast".  So come next Monday Kadizzle will have someone who actually does what he ask.  The morning will begin with play NPR.  Then the request will flow.  You can ask all sorts of questions.  Maybe Kadizzle will ask " Why did I piss my money away on you?".   Automation is invading.  A big test will be if the blasted thing will work with the Sonos speakers. Kadizzle has liked the Sonos speakers.  Two sit in the kitchen for stereo.  At night the one in the bedroom lulls Kadizzle to sleep. Sometime the Bedroom Sonos goes into the bathroom to serenade Kadizzle while he showers.  The speakers can be completed controlled from the smart phone.  The world is going to change a lot in the next couple of years.  So in the future we will not have to get out of bed.  Currently Americans are already large lumps of lard, this will only get worse.

Cruise on a freighter

Kadizzle is up and the keys are popping on the computer.  Just finished a travel story in the NYT about cruising the great lakes on a ore freighter.  Nice story and might be a gun trip.  A little slow, but so what Kadizzzle is used to moving in a sailboat at 6 knots.  It might be fun to take an ocean trip on a large cargo ship.  If the rain lets up maybe the Kadizzles will head up to the lake and board the Sovereign.

Hazen got the BBG open, so that is the great excitement.  Some of the locals chipped in some cash and opened up the Bison Bar and Grill.  Hazen needed some upscale eating.  The theme will be the old sports bar routine decorated with Bison and historical Hazen pictures.

Yesterday the pressure pump for Stroupini's pressure washer came by UPS.  Kadizzle replaced the broken pump and pressure washed the lower deck.  If a wave of ambition hits we may be able to stain the deck after it drys for a few days.

Nick on the river floating to Florida sent the stove part back he was lent.  Nick seems to want to remove the dams from the rivers.  It may depress the price of the sailboat if it happens.

At this instant NPR is talking about a price war between phone carriers.  Verizon has finally let people carry over their data.  This is good news for traveling winter people.

Things are slow around here.  A news bulletin came in from Cliff in AZ.  An avocado truck wrecked near his mountain home and the cleanup meant free avocados for everyone.  Don't want anyone to get hurt, but it would be nice for a June Berry pie truck to roll over near here.

Thursday, August 18, 2016

Where have all the flowers gone? To jail.

Hazen has a nice collection of degenerates and young ones on the way.  As Kadizzle made the rounds yesterday he found out Lurch is on his way to the cooler for assault.  The dinger who ran over Kadizzle's mail box last year is in jail. Guess what for?  Now this is a classic only one of our best dingers could pull. The dinger is in jail for siphoning gas from a police car.  When it comes to brain dead our dingers are special. Now for the good news. It looks like Bummore has a job and has worked for a week steady.  This is a miracle. Our little town has been very peaceful this summer.  One of the worst dingers moved to Florida with his family.  As the oil boom hit the skids a lot of things improved.  The town looks a little better, and the worst of the worst have moved somewhere else to spread the virtues of slumming.

Some things take a while to bloom.  Meth babies do grow up, and a lot of them are now roaming the streets as teenagers.  They seem relatively normal, but there are some bolts loose, and things just do not come together in their heads.  They have the ability to plan about ten minutes into the future.

About a week ago Kadizzle saw one of these meth children in action.  The young girl was nice looking and appeared to be about eleven or twelve.  She had one problem.  She thought she was a cat.  In fact she had on a hat that hat cat ears, whiskers, and cat eyes.  She prowled around with her hands held as if they were paws, and tried to move her head like a cat.  Now this might go on for a moment with any young person just trying to have fun, but this poor kid never snapped out of it.  Society is going to get a big bill for all the young people that took meth, and fostered meth children.  These people literally had their brain cells rinsed.

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Re Purposing

Kadizzle was on the Kadizzacycle yesterday inspecting the local universe.  In the course of his ride he went by the construction site of the New Hospital.  The new hospital will replace the old hospital. The old hospital will be torn down.  As Kadizzle buzzed by he noticed that the entrance to the old hospital would make a great shelter for the park being considered by the library.  Thinking he had a stroke of imagination he started to set the idea in motion.  Very quickly he was stopped.  Someone else had already had the same idea.

However, as that old hospital gets torn down there will be a lot of salvageable material that can be used all over town.  Another idea Kadizzle had would be to take all the industrial kitchen equipment and make a nice tailgating party area by the hockey rink.  Someone needs to go through the old hospital and see what can be saved.  There will be large panes of glass that might make good wind breaks in the park.  There will be all kinds of things that only need imagination to be reused.

Monday, August 15, 2016

The tide is coming in.

Fall is rolling into our lives. What happens in the fall?  There will be some fall sailing which is good sailing. The winds may be steady and strong, the lake may stay warm, but soon the boat will have to come out of the water.  Removing a sail boat on our lake is a hassle.  First you have to back the trailer down the dock, then you have to go back and get a forty foot extension to hook onto the trailer. Now you back the whole mess into the lake and try to get  the sailboat onto a trailer you cannot see.  Let the fun begin.

Next we have to keep the pheasants at bay.  It looks like this will be a pretty good year for pheasant hunting.

At some point we will head south to Arizona.  Hopefully the Forest Service will give us the sweet spot we had last year.  Cliff took off for home, and he will be with us on the trail crew.  A quiet morning in Hazen, but the town is coming to life.

Sunday, August 14, 2016

Old Kadizzle woke up

Another day, a cool morning, fairly good sleep, time to reach over and get the computer on the nightstand for the morning update. The New York Times has gone nuts shooting up the Donald. How scary that such an insane idiot is a contender for president.  We are in deep trouble.  Now to North Dakota.  According to the New York Times North Dakota has the highest per capita income of any state in the United States.  Wait, but we have the lowest paid teachers, in Hazen we don't even have sidewalks on all the main streets.  We live in a state flowing with wealth, but we do not use the wealth to enhance the common good. We build steel buildings and fill them with toys.  What drives Kadizzle crazy is the oil money.  North Dakota hit the jackpot.  So what do you do with the money?  Do you make life better for everyone?  No, you put the money in a pile, and when someone says we need some money, you pull the money out of the pile.  That all seems fine until  you realize how it really works.  When you have a state reeking with money you could fix things and make everything wonderful, but you might have to tax the rich. Well the Republicans just ain't going to let that happen.  So now the oil boom has slowed down, and the possibility of raising taxes is looming,  Whoa, don't do that, go to the pile.

Now when the money was piling up we could have increased teacher pay, fixed up our little towns, our parks, our nursing homes, and worked to give out children a better life, but no we just piled the money so we would never have to ask some to pay their share.  This gets to the point of what is an investment.  A road is an investment.  Once you build the road you can move your grain cheaper, you don't beat your car to death. Education is an investment.  Once you make people smarter you do not have the cost of dolts like Donald Trump.  Our country was made great by investing in the public sector.  However, now we try to starve the government of money to make sure the rich are not taxed.  When they rich have more money, they take it out of state and spend it on their lifestyle.  When a rich guy builds a million dollar home in Phoenix it does North Dakota no good.  When a rich guy cruises the Mediterranean, it does North Dakota no good.  If North Dakota taxes the rich guy and has the best teachers in the country it works for North Dakota.  If North Dakota invest in parks,  little towns, and highways and byways, it helps North Dakota.

None of this happens because we have the Rush Limbaugh mentality.  We are convinced it is the poor robbing us.  It is not the poor taking the oil money and running out of state with it.  It is not the guy greeting you at the entrance to Walmart who is robbing our country blind.  62 people now have as much wealth as the rest of the people in the world.  Maybe they are the culprits and it is not the guy flipping hamburgers at McDonalds who wants $15 an hour.   So turn on  your radio Monday morning and soak up the idiocy of Rush.    Remember those teachers, they can teach you to think.  A good teacher will keep you from falling prey to Rush, Fox News, and the Republican Party.   Just forget about all this.  I got mine, plenty to eat, the money comes in by itself, and Kadizzle really doesn't care.  One minor problem, our insanity is melting the planet.  Simple solution, ignore science, logic, and reality.  Got the best thing for that, religion.  Just make up a good story and believe it.  The hell with reality.  Jesus is going to come and clean the refrigerator, cut the grass, and fix the boat.  It is all so simple.  Now, I get it, and Kadizzle is ready to help The Donald make America great.  Build a wall, tell the Muslims to go home, make the poor work, and declare bankruptcy if you need to just like The Donald does.  Why make life complicated when it is all so simple.  So here we go it is Sunday, a good day to enjoy the illusion of your choice.  See what one cup of coffee, a keyboard and a good nights sleep can do.

Saturday, August 13, 2016

One more day

Cliff took off for Colorado. Cliff just had to get somewhere to hike.  The old song "Hand me down my walking shoes".  Today the band of Arizona friends that is left with the Kadizzles may do the kayak trip down the Missouri.  Kadizzle may work on the good ship. Tonight is the barn dance.  On life goes.  Fall is coming at breakneck speed. In no time the good ship will have to be dry docked.  The Commander will go nuts wanting to rake the yard three times a week.  The garden will give up, and the Kadizzles will have to slowly clean out all the dead plants.  Life is hurrying by.   Summers blast by at the speed of light.  Sadly we are racing toward the finish line. Everyone is falling apart and like old machines we are wearing out.  Everyone seem to want to get so much done in life before the lights are shut out.  Seems like so many friends are running frantically to Europe, Indonesia, New Zealand before we all get snuffed out.  So here we go trying to figure out how to get the last joy out of life.  Meanwhile back in the Middle East one million people are homeless.  Little children are being bombed in the hospital.  The insanity of the world is so crazy. There is plenty for everyone, but 62 people have as much wealth as the rest of the world combined.  The head of Walmart is getting $8,000 per hour, and McDonalds bitches about paying people $15 an hour.  What a strange world we live in.  Back to reality.  Here in the little burg the sun is shining, and the little troupe will ignore the problems of the world and create nirvana.  The sun is up, it will go down and if we are lucky we will see it again tomorrow.

Friday, August 12, 2016

Crazy Bill

Crazy Bill suffers from something, who knows what?  Probably it is PTSS, post traumatic stress syndrome.  Kadizzle was visiting Rita at the sewing shop one day and Crazy Bill happened to be there.  Kadizzle engaged Crazy Bill in conversation, and in no time it was off to crazy land.  Bill said he was studying to be a Messianic Jewish Rabbi.  Now this is about as strange as you can get in our little town.  As the conversation went on it evolved of course into politics.  Kadizzle implied he disagreed with Crazy Bill and Crazy Bill said " I'll cut your head off and shit in it."  Kadizzle has had some strange offers, threats or whatever, but this was a new one.  Crazy Bill is very secretive and does not want anyone to know anything about him.

Part of the way the conversation started with Crazy Bill was when Kadizzle asked if he could pet Crazy Bill's dog.  The dog was a breed that looked like it could be mean, but was a nice dog.  Crazy Bill treated the dog like a soldier and bossed it around in a very mean manner.  Supposedly the dog was a service dog.  Not sure what in the hell that is, but it must be a dog that was somehow trained for the military.  Crazy Bill loved the dog, and enjoyed his ability to dominate the dog.

So now the story starts.  Crazy Bill was out in the country with his dog.  Crazy Bill told the dog to stay by his truck while he checked on some horses.  When Crazy Bill came back to the truck the dog was gone.  Crazy Bill had seen a red pickup go by while he was checking the horses.  Very quickly Crazy Bill became convinced someone had stolen his dog.  The whole thing accelerated quickly and made the local news.  Crazy Bill was going nuts trying to find the dog.  A county worker found the dog dead in the ditch not too far from where he was lost.  It appeared the dog had been hit by a vehicle.  Of course this was not going to fly with Crazy Bill.  He went to the local bars and waved around five thousand dollars offering a reward for information about who killed his dog.  Crazy Bill is sure that someone did this with intent.  Now, if the information is correct, Crazy Bill is going to Sturgis to round of some of his old motorcycle buddies.  The plan is to come back to Hazen and route out the people or person who killed the dog.  Hopefully this will not come to a bad end.

War has a lot of consequences, but one we often overlook is the mental problems left over.  Right here in Mercer county there are delusional people on the edge of dangerous insanity.  Sometimes these people cross the line and hurt innocent people.  As a society we need to realize that when we send young men into a stressful situation some of them will come back with healthy bodies, but dangerously sick minds.

Thursday, August 11, 2016

It starts out as a simple task

Sleep up would not come back, so Kadizzle got up at 4:30 A.M.  What better to do than search for the parts to fix Stoupini's pump.  Got close, but need more information.  How did all this come about? Kadizzle went up to the lake with a couple simple task in mind.  First, grease the winches.  The winches are a critical component of a sailboat and life is better when they work smoothly.  There are some tiny parts in a winch that love to jump in the lake, so one must exercise caution. Kadizzle took the first winch apart and figured he would spray the hell out of it with carburetor cleaner.  Old grease went everywhere, but it seemed to work.  There was a plan.  Use Stoupini's pressure washer to clean up the mess.  Kadizzle had a stroke of genus.  Blast the hell out of the winch with the pressure washer. This worked fine, but diluted grease went all over the boat. No problem the pressure washer could get it off.  As God would have it when the cleanup began the pressure washer blew up.  The cast aluminum pump gave up the ghost and leaked hopelessly.  So here we sit at 6:05 unable to find exactly what model of pressure washer Stroupini has.  Until he wakes up the task will wait. Meanwhile the boat is a mess and all the grease may have to be cleaned up by hand. However, three of the six winches are now happy little helpers all greased and ready to go.

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

The Dreams Come

What happens when you dream?  This is an age old question. What do dreams mean? Kadizzle sleeps, and Kadizzle dreams.  Last night Kadizzle met his grandfather in a dream.  This seams to happen often. The dead are alive in dreams.  Kadizzle did a lot of things as a teenager he wishes he had not done, and treated a lot of people less than he should have.  The talk with my grandfather brought this out.  It was amazing to have a frank serious conversation with a person who died over forty years ago. The talk got the mind stirring about right and wrong, and how we treat people.  The dream ended with an awaking in every sense of the word.  Now laying in bed awake Kadizzle pondered what hiis granfater had said. My grandfather had a huge attic with several rooms.  One large room had a pool table. The whole neighborhood played pool on that pool table.  Also there was a bedroom in that attic.  If that bedroom could talk it would be a best seller.  A lot of exploration, learning, and who knows what else went on in that attic.  We abused my grandfathers trust.  I think that was what my grandfater was trying to say in the dream.  How many times in life have we abused trust?  Looking back on lilfe it is painful to think of how many people put faith in us, and it was misplaced. The dead can talk to us, and we can listen. We cannot go back, but we can learn.  As age ripens us we get to think differently.  The old dog, and the old tree become wise, so can we.  If you are given the gift of age use it wisely.  Look back and learn from the past.

Tuesday, August 09, 2016

On my honor.

My father was wrapped in the Boy Scouts pretty seriously as a young man.  In fact my father met my mother at the Boy Scout Camp on Wheeling Creek.  So it was natural for my father to push me into joining the Boy Scouts.  Michael Cox was the scout master for the troupe that operated out of Vance Memorial Church.  Mr. Cox was a saint. Like myself Mr. Cox was either cursed or blessed with nothing but daughters.  The scouts gave him a chance to be a dad to boys.  Anyone that would take on such a task had to be a nominee for sainthood.  Along with everyone else the troupe was home to the kids from the children's home on Orchard Avenue.  This was like adding seasoning to an already wild mixture.

Meeting at the church we tried to earn our Merit Badges.  Some of the fathers tried to teach us the various skills needed to achieve the badge.  We learned first aid, and had to know some basic bandages.  The most important thing in the world was learning knots.  Since I have been a sailor for over thirty years, those knots have served me so well. People always ask " How did you learn to tie those knots?".   In the basement of Vance Church is the answer.

In the summer we went to the camp on Wheeling Creek and I can still remember the sacred ceremonies at the campfire up on the hill.  Gary Caldwell was in the troupe and he was a husky young guy from The Children's home.  Even after fifty years I can clearly remember Gary running out of Wheeling Creek where we would swim.  Gary had some childhood injury which required some sort of steel to be placed in his leg.  Gary could sense when his leg would seize up from the could water and knew when he had to get out.

Some badge required you to camp out in the winter.  With some other scouts I made preparations.  We had heard from some old timers that one way to keep warm was to build a fire in a pit.  The idea was to let the fire burn down to red hot coals then bury them.  Next you pitched your tent over the buried coals and the heat rose through the ground and heated the tent.  About midnight or one the magic worked.  The first bedroll was smoldering and seemed almost on fire.  Laughing I told my friend you did not bury the coals deep enough.  Soon my tent was also smoking and on the verge of flames.  We never did sleep and took some ruined scouting equipment home with the stench of the fire.

Another memory was a camp out that would have some demonstrations from the State Police.  One demonstration was tear gas.  The State Trouper said he would pull the pin on a tear gas canister and toss it out in to the grass to demonstrate it.  The Trouper said if you wanted to experience it you could run through the fog.  This was like telling a group of idiot if you want to experience fire put you hand in it.  Sure  enough every scout ran through the tear gas fog.  Wow, it burnt the hell out of you eyes and lungs.  Boy Scouts were in their tents with wet rags on their faces suffering from the results of a riot that never took place.  The whole demonstration was one of the first good rounds of Dare to be Stupid I ever played.

Sovereign Galloped

Our friend Cliff had not sailed for many years and quickly fell back in love with sailing once we were out on the water. Even though Kadizzle has sailed forever, it still is a great feeling to be out on the water with the perfect wind.  Like a wild horse that had been in the barn the good ship could not resist getting up and going. There is just something magic about sailing.  A sailboat is like a spirit moving through the water.  Nothing moves on a sailboat, yet it glides along.  A force from nowhere propels it.

As the light penetrated the bedroom this morning before sunrise Kadizzle thought what could he write about today. One thought that went through his head was " What would an application for the crazy club be like?". The Crazy Club is special, it does not accept ordinary boring people.  So lets try some questions that might be on the application.

1.  Are you a former alcoholic?
2.  Are you easily embarrassed or offended?
3.  Are you capable of seeing the world differently?
4.  Do you have an opinion about anything?
5.  Would you confront someone if you disagreed with them?
6.  Would you shout out Bullshit during a conversation?
7.  Have you ever deviated from the crowd?
8.  Do you despise formality?
9.  Do your friends think you are wound differently?
10.  Does being different bother you?

At the coffee club the conversation is always the same.  " I got three hundredths out at my place last night". " The crops are looking a little dry".   " Obama is destroying the coal industry, and ya know he wants to get our guns too".  Then of course it is the city failing to do something like fix a bad spot on the street.

Some people live in a little box.  They peek out the window, and hope no one peeks in.  Always they live in fear.  Always they worry someone will know something about them. They fear someone will steal a dime from them, they fear someone will get their credit card.  You can be sent to prison, or you can put yourself in prison.  If you are imprisoned by your fears, you are in prison.  If you are afraid to walk down the street, on the edge of a cliff, or across a bridge, then you have built bars that limit your movement.  The worst thing is a mind imprisoned.  Religion is the worst prison in the world for the mind.  Your mind is only allowed to think in certain ways.  So many wonders exist in the world.  Life is like a shopping trip.  What do you want to try, what do you want to buy?  Are you going to look back and say " Gee, I wish I had gone on that trip", or " I should have done this or that".   When you are put on this planet you are handed a handful of tickets to go to the circus.  If you use all your tickets to see the monkey cage over and over, that is your choice, but you will always look back and wish you had seen the elephant, and the tiger.

Sunday, August 07, 2016

Keep the brain spinning

A major part of the day was spent taking Cliff all around the wonders of the county from the lake, the dam, the coal mines, the gas plant, and back to old Hazen.  The first part of the trip as the car climbed the hill North of Hazen we encountered a few bikers. Kadizzle thought it odd to see so many bikers.  More and more appeared.  Ah, ha, it is the Candisc.  The Candisc is an annual 500 mile bike trip around North Dakota. Tonight the bikers would descend on Hazen.  Since The Commander rode for many years in the adventure she made many friends.  Kadizzle notified The Commander the Candisc was in full bloom.

When Cliff and Kadizzle returned sure enough The Commander had invited bikers to the back yard for beer and chips.  The dinner plan was to eat turkey served at the school with the bikers. Kadizzle noticed as he walked out the kitchen the bumper sticker that showed up from somewhere.  It said  DUMP TRUMP.  Kadizzle attached it to his T shirt.  It looked like it had been silk screened on.  So off he went to the bike dinner expecting to have some fun with people.  Sure enough the brave came and supported the idea and some good conversations arose.  It sort of acted like a sieve to determine who had the courage to speak and who was afraid to confront the nut with the DUMP TRUMP shirt.  While sitting with a man conversing about the current state of political affairs the tall anorexic editor of The Hazen Star walked by.  The poor guy is cursed with a love for right wing idiots. However, as God would have it he has enough sense to dispose Trump, which left him in a pickle. So we had a little discussion about how he would vote.  Lightening would strike him dead if he voted for Hillary, so he planned to vote for a third party candidate. Shooting political BS with the bikers was fun. They are by definition a liberal bunch.

At the dinner there was an amazing pie display.  Kadizzle could not keep Little Joey from the pie.  There were so many slices of pie that might be left over that Kadizzle feared they could not store them all. Kadizzle offered to store some of the pie at home.  When Kadizzle told Dallas the good neighbor about his kind offer to store the excess pie. Dallas stared at Kadizzle's belly a.k.a. Little Joey and said " It looks like you have already been storing some pie".


Saturday, August 06, 2016

Planet Hazen

After a long drive from Casper, Wyoming the Kadizzles are home.  The roads were infested with the motorcycle wannabees.  Grown men in Halloween costumes pretending go to be mean motorcycle men.  Some very pretty country and some very boring country. The third member of our trail crew, Cliff came with us.  Amazing how one can jump from one planet to another right on the same planet.  All the way home we listened to the Trump implosion. So far it is a dream the way it is working out.  Republicans are talking about an intervention. Yup, they realize the guy is totally nuts and they need to act. How any rational human could support the doltmister is a mystery.

So here we sit three old farts that survived the Green River and now need to start the next adventure.  Cliff is going to sail with us on the big lake. Somehow Hazen survived without us. For years we have invited our adventure friends to visit, and it looks like this will be they year they do.  Stroupini checked in.  He is in Salt Lake City on a secret mission which involves watching a baseball game.  Hopefully we can have Cliff as a guest speaker at the Crazy Club.  The summer is zipping by.  Yesterday Cliff said he did not want any of Kadizzle's Coffee Ice Cream.   Cliff said it would keep him up all night.  Well bingo, it kept Kadizzle up all night with the fire belly.  The next plan may be to send a flotilla of boats down the Missouri from the dam.

Friday, August 05, 2016

I met The Commander at age 87

The answer is in.  What will The Commander be like at age 87? Well old Kadizzle found out.  Bev was the leader of our raft trip down the Green River. This is the toughest spunkiest octogenarian you will encounter. First she organized a fifty mile trip down the Green River through the Flaming Gorge.  That was do da. The little lady worked harder than any of the escapees from the nursing home that went with her.  Bev had us all beat, but there were several competitors in their mid seventies,  most from 65 to 70, and a couple of stragglers in their mid fifties.  A lot of guilt rained down from the sky when Kadizzle crawled out of his tent at 6:30 and saw Bev already up getting breakfast for all the bums in the tents.  That will be The Commander some day, picking up coolers packed with food by herself, and keeping order on the river.  Keep in mind Bev did this after paddling all day.

It was a very nice trip with a nice mixture of cliffs, rapids, wildlife, and good company. Stoupini went along to fill out the group from Hazen. Stroupini said he wanted to meet new people. One demand Stroupini had was that he not be placed in a raft with Kadizzle who he had heard too many times.  Stroupini joined Cliff from our Arizona Trail crew and they had a great time.  Viewing trout of every size and description all day in the crystal clear water was entertaining.  Osprey, bald eagles, and other birds plied their trade on the river.  A moose was the highlight of the trip.

Even a historical site was included along the way.  John Jarvie's store was still intact and restored.  A large pie lumper who worked for the BLM gave a good tour of the premises and explained how John was murdered for $100 when the store was robbed.

A couple times the mosquitos were mean, but there was a lot of good sunny floating.  Old Kadizzle was hot and jumped in the river to cool down.  The water was wonderful, but the current was much stronger than expected.  Only by jumping in could you realize how much water was actually moving through that canyon.

Some of the  best adventures have  been floating through nature, but this one had a special delight. As the maker of the universe would have it a professional masseuse went on the trip. After a long day of paddling Kadizzle could sit on the ground and have his sore shoulders and neck corrected by a lady who did this for a living. She actually said she enjoyed it.  There is a god and he does love Kadizzle this is proof.

Older people can get off their ass and enjoy the outdoors in a tent.  No one proves it better than Bev who does four of these trips a year.  Kadizzle's oldest girlfriend is May, she is in her nineties, but May is afraid of snakes and bugs.  May has a lot of spark, but May could not make it ten feet down the rapids in a raft.

Bev does all of this as a charitable act for the Sierra Club.  People can bad mouth conservationist, tree huggers, or call them what you like, but we did not meet any group of old people with Trump stickers on their rafts. Someday everyone will be thankful that a few people like Bev went to such great lengths to save the best parts of our country. The theory is that if you see the wonderful parts of our country you will never let them be destroyed or sold by the Republicans. Bev made a believer out of Kadizzle.

Monday, August 01, 2016

In all it's glory

The Kadizzlites awoke in the little cabin we rented near the Flaming Gorge Dam.  The sun is shining in all it's glory.  The rafters will gather at another campground today and plan the great float trip down the Green River. Our country is such a spectacular country with such a variety of wonderful natural sites.  Of course a lot of it is shot up with wrecked cars and Walmart decor. The one thing that preserves so much of the beauty is the land owned by the Federal Government.  Guess what? The same people who want to destroy our democracy want to sell of the public lands.  What would we do with the money?  Of course use it to reduce taxes on the rich.  The common man can now park his camper or tent on millions of acres of public land free.
Our good friends the rich Republican often forget it was the common man who built the railroads, the dams, the schools, and so much that make our country what it is.  Why such disdain for the common man?  Why do we want to cheat the working man out of health care, education, and even the right to enjoy the public lands.   We are all delusional.  The rich think they made everything possible. It was the rich that built the pyramids, it was the rich that fought in all the battles that saved our country from dictators.  How delusional can people be. There would be nothing if not for the rich.  Of course the rich never look around and see all the co-operatives that are owned by the common people.  North Dakota has more co-operatives than any place, yet it also has a solid base of Trump idiots.  The rich would not come to North Dakota and build electric lines, phone lines, or provide anything they could not exploit.  So the people of North Dakota banded together and built these things for themselves.  Oh, but the rich are need to provide banks so we can all borrow money from them. Nope, there are credit unions where common people can borrow from each other.  The reality is the one percent that has it all are parasites and blood suckers.  A CEO that gets 500 times what the guy assembling the car makes is nothing but the most expensive parasite that can be purchased.

In the morning clear the mind and the body.  A good rant clears the mind and there is a special seat in a little room that clears the body after a good cup of coffee.  For a bonus you can jump in the shower and wash away your sins.  So today we are off to just casually float through some wonderful country.  There will be no phone service, and no reports until we end up back in civilization.  When you see this country you have to imaging the first white men like Powell that mapped it and floated these rivers.  It must have been the most pristine trip free of human defacement imaginable.  Maybe there are other planets that have not been shot up with jacked up pickup trucks, simple minded idiots spewing noise with motorcycles.  The strangest thing is that we have the resources for each and every person to live well, but somehow we manage to make such a mess out of it.  With The Donald in charge we can torture some people, build some walls, and cut the taxes on the rich.  Wow, what a great thing to look forward to.