Festivus for the Rest of Us

Back in Hazen the preparations for Festivus are under way.  Part of the tradition is the sacred wood chopper.  Our sacred wood chopper has come down with lung cancer, but he is doing well and said he can make it.  The wood chopper must drink beer.  He will come in a red truck and wander down to the creek.  Special trees will be selected for the Festivus bonfire.  Huge logs and many branches will be piled on the ice.  Snow will have to be scraped off the ice so the little Ice Princess can come and ice skate.

Places to sit will be made from logs and massive amounts of grog will be taken down to the sacred site.  This year in addition to feats of strength an new event will be added. Lying will be part of the program and the person who can tell the biggest whopper will get dunked in a hole cut in the ice.  Of course there will be the airing of grievances.  The date for Festivus has not yet been set, but everyone will be invited.