How does this work?

My buddy Charles J. drove by today.  In many regards Charlie is pretty smart, on the other hand he is brain dead.  He reminds me of Ben Carson.  Ben Carson is a brain surgeon that thinks the pyramids were built to store grain.  Also the Republicans mascot thinks the Earth was formed in seven days.  Back to Charles J.  Charlie pulled up in his magical van that somehow defies the fact that he owns it.  Leaning into the car the interior appeared like someone had reversed a garbage truck. The garbage was in the front not the back.  In the back seat were three huge bags of something. Kadizzle imagined it was Charlie's belongings, since Charlie is always on the move.  Nope the guess was wrong.  It turns out Charlie has a place to live in the hotel where he does maintenance work.  What the three huge bags contained were sheets and linens from the hotel.  Charlie got them free.  It struck Kadizzle he might get a good rag out of the collection, so he asked if the sheets were clean.  Yes they were Charlie assured Kadizzle. They were washed before they threw them away.  Now what kind of idiot would wash sheets before they threw them away.  Well at the hotel idiocy must be blooming.  Kadizzle asked Charles J. what he was going to do with three large bags of bed sheets. Charles had an ingenious idea.  Charlie would donate the sheets to the local charity and get a tax deduction. Kadizzle tried to point out to Charles that if you pay no taxes, you can get no charitable deductions.  This was a minor point Charles had overlooked.

As Kadizzle looked around the traveling garbage museum he was amazed.  At this point Charles J. pointed to the fine gift he had received from Marlboro.  As a reward for destroying his lungs Marlboro sent him a custom made ash tray with his initials engraved on glass.  What a wonderful company.  After you agree to buy enough cigarettes to kill yourself, you get a free gift.