The Rameedigus

What in the hell is a rameedigus? A rameedigus is a short trip whereby one gets up to date through a series of conversations with people along the way. Most days when Kadizzle can no longer stand the confines of his home in the morning he fires up the motor cycle and heads out for the rameedigus.

Usually the first stop is at the clubhouse for the mentally ill.  Close to main street is the Brooks House.  A local pottery enthusiast has set up a little art store in a small house that at one time was the entire phone company for Hazen. Shiney runs the Brooks house.  No offense to Shiney, but she is the spitting image of the wicked witch of the West.  She even has a tiny little dog to put in the basket of her bicycle. Problem is she does not ride the bike.  Shiney has the perfect voice to play the part.

All the crazy people stop by to vent with Shiney.  Of course Kadizzle is one of them.  Shiney knows everyone, and everything about everyone.  The art store struggles and is never very busy, so there is a lot of time to cackle.  Behind the Brooks house is a nice little spot to sit in the sun and watch the world go by.  Hazen has a group called The Alley Cats.  For some strange reason The Alley Cats prefer to walk up and down the first ally north of Main Street.  As one sits behind the Brooks house during the remedigus an occasional Alley Cat will go by.  Usually the Alley Cats stop briefly to add their two cents worth to the conversation.  Larry goes by most mornings on his way to get the mail. Doreen is another one that hustles down the alley on her way to consult someone about the ads she sells for the paper.  The Alley Cats probably don't want to see the people they would run into on Main Street, so the alley is like a secret tunnel.

Within twenty feet of the backyard at the Brooks house is the Pocket Park.  In the summer it is a gathering place for the miscreants.  Every Wednesday there is a musical event at the Pocket Park in the summer.  Then the usuals sit behind the Brooks House and enjoy the free concert.

After one gets up to date at the Brooks House the remeedigus moves on.  Close to the Brooks House is the headquarters for the Hazen Star.  The Hazen Star is the local paper.  Kadizzle has always made it a point to know the editor.  Currently Kadizzle is breaking in a new young editor.  Kadizzle sits with the editor and tries to cure him of his right wing bent.  The Hazen Star likes those right wingers.  After informing the editor about what the paper should contain, Kadizzle leaves knowing he had little if any effect.

Since the sewing shop is nearby Kadizzle might go in there and see the sewing lady. She is always cheerful and busy.  Often her husband is there helping make the boat covers, the seat covers, and what ever else needs sewn.  The place is always a mess and it looks like an explosion just took place in a garment factory.

Now for the big ride to the Library.  At the library Val, Erica, and Judy each own their own view of the world.  Erica is a young artist that always is dressing on the edge for Hazen. Erica is up to date on the things that young people need to be up to date on. Erica is a secret liberal.  Val is the commander at the library and Val has a heavy leaning to the right.  On some days Kadizzle gets Val stirred up in a heated political argument.  Erica might chime in on one side or the other, but is careful not to get on the wrong side of her boss Val.  Judy is the bird woman of town and knows what every bird is doing and which birds are passing from place to place. Judy likes to get out and enjoy the outdoors.  At the library as the cackle goes on usually some library customers come in and add to the cackle.  Often the library portion of the remedigus can go on as long as the Brooks House portion.

Once the library cackle dies down one might if desperate go to the coffee cackle at the Cenex gas station.  If there were such thing as a stationary remeedigus this would be it.  All the old farts gather at designated coffee spots to lie and get up to date.  There used to be three stationary remeedigus spots, the cafe on main street, Mel's gas station, and Cenex.  Mel's was a right wing conservative cackle place, and so was the Mainstreet BS center.  Cenex always had a more liberal bent.  Too much Fox News is watched and believed in Hazen, so no real facts are ever brought up most of the time.  A peculiar thing happened at Mel's.  One of the regular cacklers was accused of making a mess in the rest room.  The net result was the coffee club at Mel's abandoned the place and joined the Cenex group.  The merging of the right wing, and the left wing of the local coffee clubs might teach the congress how to get along.

The remeedigus is just about over, but a stop at the bank might be in order to see how Chuck is doing. Chuck owns the bank and is always up to something interesting.  If Kadizzle does not stop at the hardware store for some pop corn the remeedigus is over.

A successful remeedigus will get you up to date in a town this size.  Once you get home you know just about all you need to know.  Sometimes a stop at city hall is included in the trip.  There you can check on the forefront of government in Hazen. It is always wise to know what the elected scoundrels are up to.  A good remeedigus will reveal the contradictions.  Small towns run on rumors.  On a good remeedigus by an experienced remeedigus rider you can sort out a lot of fact from fiction, but never think with any certainty you have the truth in hand.

Most people who just go to one coffee meeting don't realize the danger.  Travel is essential to get the whole story.  Going one place for town gossip is like watching Fox News, all you will get is a lopsided set of lies.  To be well informed you need to hear a nice variety of lies.