Calculating When to Die

Live within your means is the old saw.  The biggest problem you have to overcome when you decide to live within your means, is to decide how long you will live.  For years Kadizzle has been using the T.Rowe Price retirement calculator online.  You tell the calculator when you were born, how much money you have, and how much social security you get.  Next you simply say how much you want to spend each month.  The calculator assumes you and your wife are going to live to be 95.  Say for example you want to spend 8,000 per month. You punch in the numbers and the computer says no, no, no.  Simple solution, die sooner. The calculator lets you adjust when you are going to die.  This is where the problem pops in.  Kadizzle figures he might make it to 80 at the very best.  More likely prostate cancer will kill him by 75.  On the other hand the old bird he is married to, The Commander is tough as nails.  The online calculator of a different site says she might go to over 100.

So here is the dilemma,  We could live fine if we both agree to be dead by 80, but The Commander will not go along.  On the T. Rowe Price calculator Kadizzle usually chooses the number 85.  It looks like we could live pretty well with that number.  In reality if Kadizzle kicked at 75 and The Commander went on, it could work.

Back to the present.  As most couples the Kadizzles argue about what to buy, and what not to buy.  To solve this problem Kadizzle has set up the widow fund.  This is the money that will be left after Kadizzle is drawn to the lord.  When The Commander says we are getting some new expensive item, Kadizzle just tells her to "Take it out of the widow fund".

Since the plan is for Kadizzle to drop dead of cancer and leave The Commander to fend for herself, The Commander has to take some responsibility.  It all comes down to choosing the quality of your nursing home.  If The Commander wants to go in luxury,  she can cut back.  If The Commander wants to live in squalor that is another choice.

Now there is one other good option, get alzheimer's.  If your mind goes, but you are still alive,  and your imagination is going strong, you can imagine you are the King, The Queen or whatever.  You can live in the nursing home and believe that nurse is really a servant, and the doctor is the Duke of Dukedom.

When old Kadizzle was in college we used to walk by an old guy sitting on the porch.  We would say "How is life Mr. Mc Gumflee.  Mr. McGumflee would say " Life is great, but it is just taking so long".  Now that is a good attitude.