Reminds me of my safari to Africa

W. C. Fields is hard to beat. I needed a quote, and was looking for one from W.C. Fields when I came across this one. " Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.".  W. C. Fields was one of the best drunks ever.  Another qoute of his goes something like " Some scoundrel stole the cork to my lunch".

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.

Never give a sucker an even break.

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.