When I awoke this morning there was a disaster in my yard. A dog involved in a Jihad left an improvised dirty bomb right where my shoe would travel as I went to get the paper. I told my wife I was going to root out this Jihadist before this type of terrorism spread through the neighbor hood. I figured this dog was hiding out up the street being sheltered by sympathetic neighbors, that had taken him in as a stray. When I got there the dog was gone, apparently he went to another yard. I kicked over my neighbors garbage can and let the air out of his tires, but I did not get the dog.
On the way home I noticed my other neighbor was building a fence around his yard. I asked him what this was for. He said it was to keep his children off the street. My intelligence indicated he was going to harbor Jihadist dogs behind the fence. I suspected he ways lying. Why would he have grass in the yard unless he was going to harbor Jihadist dogs? The only reason to have grass is so dogs can learn to plant dirty bombs.
I explained to my wife that I was going to make a preemptive strike and go up to the neighbors and destroy the fence under the cover of darkness. Well the next day I noticed my neighbor had a vicious dog chained to his garage. I demanded “Why do you have this dog?”. He explained that he needed the dog to defend his property because someone was wrecking his fence. Now I have been fighting with my neighbor for months and there seems to be no end in sight. My wife asked me why I fight with that neighbor, when he never had a dog until I started messing with him. I explained to my wife that I may have been wrong, at first, but now he has a dog, and I am going to fight until it is gone. Now the other neighbors heard about all of this and they all have dogs. It is just a matter of time until I find more dirty bombs in my yard.
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