Yesterday started out fairly well, but took a disastrous turn when The Commander brought the mail home. The Commander tossed me a thick letter from the IRS. According to the agents of the Bush Administration I owed them $21,000. Now I know the war is expensive, and I would like to help, but this is a little too much. The letter gave me three options. One option was just to write them a check and have it done with. No problem!
My first panic attack occurred when I could not find my tax records for the year in question. At this point suicide seemed like the best option.
The IRS had several problems with my taxes, but their biggest issue seemed to be $61,000 of unreported income. We all make mistakes you know. Can't they understand that a little sum like that could be overlooked in a Kingdom the size of Kadizzle.
Since I could not find the shells for the shotgun, I decided to see if I could undo the riddle. After six hours at the computer the picture began to emerge. It seems Lord Kadizzle had failed to file a capital gains report. It also turned out his Lordship failed to put a W-2 form in with the return in question.
Thank God for little things. After six hours of consternation, and a new version of my 2005 taxes my calculations show they actually owe me two thousand dollars. This seems like an incredible turn of events, so I decided I better go to sleep and see what reality looks like in the morning. Well today I will send them the letter and ask them to send me my two thousand dollars. This will either work or get me a lot closer to federal prison. Until this clears up there will be no more criticism of George Bush. George, you are doing a great job, and just let me know if you need anymore money for the war.
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