The Stump Preachers.

One thing that happens to you when you grow up in West Virginia is a few phrases get in your head and stay there.  Once while down state I heard some old hillbilly refer to evangelist as stump preachers.  In the old days when the the preacher traveled around the wooded hillsides of of West Virginia there was a lack of churches. The best alternative was to climb on a stump and start preaching.

As a child the nation's second radio station WWVA played a role in my life.  The WWVA Jamboree was a big deal in Wheeling.  One of my earliest memories was going to the original theater where the Jamboree was held.  It was an amazing old place. I think it was near the McClure Hotel.  My grandfather used to take us there for the Linsley Minstrel Show.  It was a strange theater because it was very short from front to back, but it had balconies that went up forever.

My father had the habit of tuning the radio to WWVA as we made weekend trips up and down the Ohio River to a farm we had in Ritchie County.  Once the sun went down the stump preachers started to come on the radio.  Hearing these con men do their stuff was entertaining.  The goal was to get someone riled up that would send the preacher some money.  A.A. Allen was one of the preachers.  A.A. Allen was featured once in Time Magazine.  A.A. Allen revivals came from Arizona.  Old A.A. had a habit of drinking martini's while he sat in front of the microphone in Arizona spreading the word of the lord to my hillbilly brethren.  Then there was Reverend Ike, another famous con man.  Reverend Ike made it onto Sixty Minutes.  Good old Ike would look his congregation right in the eye and tell they he was bilking them. They loved it.  On Sixty Minutes Reverend Ike was shown in a clip dressed in his best suit showing off his diamond ring collection to his congregation. The old reverend told his followers  " You bought these for me, I go into the jewelry store and these rings just crawl up on my fingers, god wants me to be prosperous, and he wants you to be prosperous too, just send me money, and god will bless you".

One day somehow I ran into a salesman that sold time for WWVA.  I asked him why WWVA had these crooked preachers on every night.  The salesman explained to me what a money maker it was.  WWVA did not have to do anything but charge the preachers to broadcast.  The salesman explained that the preachers always paid on time because they knew there were other stump preachers just waiting to get the chance ot sell prayer hankies and bilk the gullible.  It seemed like a great business model.  The preacher bilkes grandma and shares the proceeds.

There may have been something good that came out of all this.  As a teenager when I could not fall asleep often I tuned to WWVA and listened to the con men.  Inadvertently I learned a lot of scripture.  To this day I can quote the bible with some of the best of them.  Also there was another bonus.  The Honorable S. Bishop Sheldon, Pastor and General Overseer of the Church of The Lord Jesus Christ came on about eleven or twelve in the evening.  Bishop Sheldon operated out of Philadelphia. He had so much money that he preached very little, and he had the best best gospel choir ever.  After a lengthy introduction that I used to have memorized the choir would start to sing with those wonderful voices and I would fall asleep hearing " One, one, one, one way to God".

Now, I am not sure if I have been saved, but I have been born again.  God struck me down with prostate cancer, and I had to have my prostate removed.  In the process I ended up with a scar right below my belly button.  The scare makes it appear I have two belly buttons.  This works great when the evangelicals come to the door. When they ask " Have you been born again?".  I pull up my T Shirt and show them the second belly button and reply " There is the proof".   As the Bible says "God works in strange ways".  WWVA proved that beyond a doubt.