The Cost of Shade

World War II was a minor skirmish compared to Kadizzle and The Commander trying to make a bimini for the boat.  To match the white trash style of our yacht it was essential to construct the bimini out of as much mismatching material as possible.  Incidentally a bimini is a little umbrella like device to provided protection from the sun on a boat.  One of the best ways to construct anything is to use materials meant for something else.  So the first essential ingredient were fiberglass rods used to sweep chimneys.  The rods were strong and had the attribute that they could bend.  What else could we use?  Well Easy Ken the junk dealer and garage sale magnate sold us some kind of strange shade device for backyards. Yup, that was the sure thing. Now let the insanity begin.  So the sewing started and the discovery of problem quickly followed.  How could you get a piece of cloth to become rigid. More southern engineering.  The Kadizzles used battens to stiffing the mess. After many broken needles on the sewing machine, yelling, screaming, and gnashing of teeth the blasted thing is complete. Now the boat will have that combo gypsy, cheap ass, insane look we always go for.  While others will sit under store bought biminis that work the Kidazzles will fight over a postage size piece of shade that will be torn to tatters during the first blow, but we have pride.  How many people can produce such a wonderful invention from electrical pulling tape, a chimney sweeping brush, a back pack strap cut to pieces, and a back porch sun shade?

The whole episode reminds Kadizzle of "The Joke".  A country fellow went to town to buy a suit to impress his girlfriend. Into the shop of an old Jewish tailor he went.  The country bumpkin asked the tailor how much a suit would cost and the tailor quoted a price the bumpkin thought way too high.  "Ah", the tailor said maybe I have the suit for you already made and at your price.  So the tailor told the bumpkin to try on the jacket.  It fit fine except one arm was way too short.  The tailor explained to the bumpkin it was just a matter of keeping that arm bent and in a bit of a convoluted manner.  That worked.  Next came the pants.  Of course one leg of the trousers was too short.  Again the tailor explained that keeping one knee bent when he walked would make the bumpkin's suit look just fine.  So the bumpkin bought the suit and proudly promenaded out the store and down the street in his new attire.  Unfortunately in his ill fitting suit he had to walk like a cripple to get the sleeve and pant leg to look the correct length.  Across the street two nuns were walking the opposite direction and saw the man who gave the appearance of being crippled walking down the street. One nun said to the other  " Look at that poor crippled fellow".  To which the other nun replied "Yes, but his suit sure fits nicely".

Well that will be the Kadizzles.  On the lake someone will say look at those poor people with the rag tag bimini, and someone else will say " Yes, but it cast a lot of shade on that fat guy, too bad Mrs. Kadizzle is still in the sun".