Kadizzled Incorporated introduces new products.

Every parent has the problem.  A bum infestation is a serious problem.  Perhaps you have a spare bedroom or a couch infested with a bum. The bum may be a leftover child that has failed to leave the comfort of your home.  Now you, yes you, can solve the problem for 19.95 with aerosol Bum Be Gone.  After the successful launch of our aerosol Bitch Be Gone, Bum Be gone was a natural. Bum Be Gone has irritants like the stuff they use in bear spray.  Now, with both products we have put a boat horn on the spray nozzle.  So if that bum is sleeping on the couch you can give a blast that will awake him to the world of work. Soon your pet bum will be afraid to pass out watching TV.  If this is not enough you will also get a special filter for you TV that will only allow preachers, and educational TV channels to come over the cable.  Want even more for 19.95? Just to show you how much we care we are sending you our bum wipes. Yes you can use them to wipe your bum, but they are work scented.  The smell of work drives bums mad. It is a sweaty smell and if a bum is threatened with work he will seek shelter. Sure your home might smell like a gym for a couple days, but your Bum will be gone.

So when your bum yells at you "How do you expect me to live in this place?",  simply say I don't and yell Bum Be Gone.  Holy in Florida bought a  can for her neighbor. Now in her testimonial she says there is no more heavy metal and late night parties emanating from the house next door. The product was recommended to Holy by Honest Omar in North Dakota.  Omar loves the products of our company Better Living Through Chemistry. Omar used the Moochaway.  Moochaway also comes in a convenient spray can.  Mostly made from all natural cat urine it does the trick.  Do you have a friend digging into those cookies you just baked and set out to cool?  Put three cookies on a plate.  Leave them out where your friend will be tempted. Give them a little shot of Moochaway.  After one or two beers one shot of Moochaway will send your problem mooch out the door.  All these products have been tested on real bums, real mooches, and real bitches.

Right now our chemist are busy developing Fog Be Gone.  It will come as an inhaler. The product is for Fox News Watchers, Fundamentalist, and hopefully can be used to cure Republicans.  We had to send the chemist back to the lab when they first simply put carbon monoxide in the inhaler.  Now they are working on a mixture that will revive sleeping brain cells.  If the product comes to market before the election there is hope the country can be saved.