Playing with the vandals.

Some people set a game camera out in the woods to see the big buck.  My goal is to catch degenerates. It works, and it is fun.  Degenerates are not a real bright species.  Degenerates attract their mates by driving big loud pickup trucks.  My favorite degenerate has his noisy pickup truck equipped with huge silver exhaust pipes that shoot up right behind the cab.  Every time James M. shifts gears a larger cloud than a coal fired freight train could shoot up emits from his truck. It is like his brain cells just shoot right out his exhaust. James M passed the idiot test with flying colors. Because I asked the police to confront him about his obnoxious behavior, James got his idiot club together and decided to do a southern style confederate flag parade down my street at one in the morning.  They made the noise and roared their mating noise with the engines.  They forgot the flags, but I still think they can get their redneck certification.

The simple minded dingers made a critical mistake. In fact they made two.  First they made their mating call coming down my street. This meant I had ample time to catch the dingers.  Secondly they were picked up on my game camera.  Being completely crazy I ran out in the street in my underwear and stood in front of the brave James M. so he had too run me over or let me carefully get his license number.  At any rate that was more or less how the range war started.

Now, back to the security.  I hope the simple minded brave truck men are not reading this, but I am going to reveal some classified information.  It is always fun to shop the local thrift store.  The other day Kadizzle came across two alarm clocks.  The clocks look just like security cameras.  Old Kadizzle thought it might be fun to put them out as such.  One is on the mailbox, and the other on the back porch.  They seem to be working.  The one on the back porch is plugged in, and the flashing of 12:oo seems to be scaring the vandals away.  Kadizzle can just imagine one of the idiots getting close enough to see the fake camera flashing twelve.  The poor degenerate will be so puzzled.  The one on the mailbox has a cord running into another box.  This might mystify the idiots.  It does nothing, but so does the brain of a brave goofy truck driver.  The fake cameras are bait, however there are a couple real ones.

The dolts ran over my mailbox about a week ago.  Unfortunately the camera did not catch the action. Now the mailbox has a special surprise for the midnight mailman.  The mailbox has to be hit from the right direction. Last time they came from the east and drove up in the yard to hit the mailbox. Hopefully they will take this route the next time.  A careful trap has been planted that will drive a steel fence post through their floorboards.  The trap from the west is less effective and will not be nearly as much fun as the eastern approach. The only prize from the west is the steel spike you can see in the picture. With luck it might bring them joy.   Kadizzle does have have a problem. The vandals need to know to use the eastern approach.  It may be necessary to post a sign at the beginning of our dead end street.  The sign will read " Please run over mailbox from the east only", or maybe it will be a European sign with a slash running through it and west printed on it with a car hitting a mailbox. The fine for hitting a mailbox is $250,000.  That is a lot of cash to destroy my junk mail.  The dinger could also get five years in jail.  That is a high price to pay for destroying the Dollar Saver.  The poor dinger will be embarrassed when the the thugs in prison ask " What are ya in for".  The poor degenerate will have to answer " I assaulted a mailbox, and lost, my car was wrecked in the process".  In prison hopefully the fellow will learn how to properly be a criminal and possibly make money at it. That is why we need a good education system in our prisons to rehabilitate mailbox killers into highly paid bank robbers or internet fraud people.