Cutting the tail off of the dog

The story turns and twist, and it would burn up a lot words to tell the whole tale.  A few weeks back The Commander and Kadizzle were returning from the lake.  As circumstance would have it a truck pulled out ahead of us as we approached the left turn to Hazen.  It was a special truck and it was headed towards Hazen also.  The truck was special because it was the center of the solar system for the small mind that was driving it.  The truck was special because it had two large chrome stacks jutting up right behind the cab.  Every time the proud owner shifted gears an unimaginable cloud of the blackest smoke rose to the sky.  It seemed the dolt had rigged the truck so he could actually inject raw fuel into the exhaust just to create the maximum violation of every pollution law in the universe.  The poor dolt seemed to be addicted to attention at any cost.

Later the same day Kadizzle realized the dolt driving the truck liked to enhance his ability to offend the universe by driving around town, squealing his wheels, and making all the noise he could.  Kadizzle asked a local police officer why he did not confront the dolt.  Well, the officer did confront the dolt, and the dolt figured out it was Kadizzle who pointed him out.

It was not long before the dolt and Kadizzle had a confrontation on the street in front of the Kadizzle home at 1:00 A.M.  Kadizzle made it a point to use social media to point out to everyone in town who the dolt was. Part of the description of the dolt involved his shiny smokestacks on the dolt mobile.

To conserve words Kadizzle will leave out a lot of the story and skip ahead.  Yesterday Kadizzzle had to get some antifreeze for the boat.  At the local Cenex store who would Kadizzle run into but the local dolt.  However, there was something strange about the doltmobile.  Kadizzle noticed that the pride and joy of doltdom, the shiny smokestack were painted black.  Yup, it appeared the wonderful chrome smokestacks designed to give the whole world the finger had received a terrible paint job of black spray paint.

Kadizzle figured it would be a great opportunity to get a picture of the doltmobile in full daylight, so Kadizzle tried to take a picture without being noticed by the dolt.  Kadizzle got carried away trying to improve the picture, and the dolt took notice. " Why are you taking my picture?".  The dolt demanded.   Kadizzle explained to the dolt that a truck just like his had caused a massive disturbance on his street about two weeks ago.   The dolt said " It was not me".   Although it was with great certainty it was the dolt, Kadizzle said " Oh, I am sorry if I made a mistake, and confused you with the idiot that drove down my street and tried to intimidate me".

With the dolt was a passenger that actually seemed to have some brain cells firing.  On the nice sunny day the passenger and Kadizzle ended up in a conversation about vandalism in town, and the need for a recreation center, and how to raise money for a recreation center.  The young guy seemed way to intelligent to be riding shotgun in a doltmobile.  The dolt was in a pickle.  The dolt had to pretend like he was not the dolt.  He had just denied being the dolt.  So the dolt sort of stood by the dolt mobile and was forced to hear Kadizzle tell his friend many of the things he wanted to tell the dolt.  In the end it seemed like the classic " All is well that ends well".   Only time will tell if there is dolt revenge.

We are living in a strange new world of social media.  Social medial let everyone in town know who the dolt was.  The dolts reaction was to disguise the doltmobile by painting the huge smoke stacks black.  You could put a pink hat on an elephant, but most people would still know it was an elephant.  This might work if there were lots of elephants in town, but when you have the only elephant in town and put a pink hat on your elephant it does not do much good.  The poor dolt, it is almost sad, his only claim to fame was shooting black smoke out his exhaust pipe, and making lots of noise. Now the tail of the dog has been cut off and the dog has nothing to wag.

Hazen is plagued with a small group of apprentice dolts.  They have nothing to do.  They have no future.  The dolts favorite pastime is making their mating call.  The dolts think if they drive through town, squeal their tires, and roar their engines, female dolts will come out and beg to have sex with them.  If it does work we will have a whole new crop of dolts.  Deep in their minds even the dolts know what a hopeless position they are in.  We live in a technological age.  There is not much demand for people who can make noise and drive,  unless you want to be a truck driver.   However, to even be a truck driver you have to have a clean drug record, and no DUI's.   So what is left for the dolts to do?  Well, a life of crime might work.  Retail crime selling drugs is one way out.  For short term cash there is always robbery.  Much to their credit our local dolts have been pursuing the new career path both ways.

Having just finished a nice morning shower the thought occurred to Kadizzle "What if the dolt reads this?".  It could be immense fun.  The dolt will approach Kadizzle and menacingly say, " I saw what you wrote about me, and you better remove it".  Ah, what an opening.  Kadizzle then can say, " I never wrote about you, I wrote about an idiot, are you an idiot?".   Will the dolt respond " You know damn well I am the idiot you wrote about".  Then Kadizzle gets to say " Well I am very sorry, if you thought you were the idiot I had in mind, there are lots of idiots, and I know it must be embarrassing to get confused with other idiots ".