Kadizzles Oldest Girlfriend, The Pie Contest, and Religion collides with reality.

Yesterday we headed to May's house.  May is now 91.  There is no tougher bird. May has had four or five husbands. She says she killed them all with kindness.  In the past year she broke her leg, and has had all sorts of trauma, but when we got to her house she was out there working in the yard. May takes no sass from anyone. When and old guy comes on to her at the meat counter she tells him to buzz off. When the Mormons show up at her door they don't have a clue what they are in for.  May likes to party and her house is spotless. Usually there are sticky bug traps at the door, but for some reason they were missing. May is a busy body, and knows what everyone is up to.

After visiting May we headed off to Camp Verde to do some historical learning.  After walking past the buildings in the old fort, Kadizzle got on a serious side track.  As luck would have it a tent was set up with a pie judging contest. Kadizzle tried everything to be one of the judges, but nothing worked.  Six pecan pies had to be judged. At 11:30 the pies were to be cut.  The nice lady dressed in her park uniform said it was likely there would be pie left over from the samples and the audience could have some.  Kadizzle always wanted to be a pie tester in a bakery.  Then the idea came.  Kadizzle told the people conducting the contest he was an official from the Arizona Pie Board and was here to make sure the contest was conducted fairly.  Kadizzle warned one of the judges she was not allowed to say umm when she sampled a pie.  Kadizzle watched her closely and had to tell her she used up two of the three umms she could have before she was thrown out as a judge.  Also Kadizzle realized they had made a crucial mistake. They had four judges. This meant there could be a tie.  Kadizzle explained that in the event of a tie, the Pie Board would have to step in and make the final decision.  After an excruciating wait the contest was over and indeed there was a lot of pie left.  The only thing that saved Kadizzle as he watched was a mistake by the sample cutter.  Accidentally one extra sample was cut.  Kadizzle volunteered to destroy it.

Next Kadizzle had a conversation with a flint napper.  At first the lesson was interesting, then Kadizzle gradually realized the guy was on a different planet.  He was one of these "The Earth is 6,000 years old" guys.  His physics of how and why rock broke was not anything Kadizzle ever learned in science.  The real clincher was that he thought the best way to learn flint napping was to study the bible, and learn from the ancient Danish technique.  Kadizzle never recalled anything about flint napping in the Bible, so later he checked on the Google.  God did tell the Israelites to perform circumcisions with flint knives, even though brass knives were available, but the napper said it was mentioned in Genesis.   The man was very capable of making nice flint knives, arrow heads, and other implements, so Kadizzle has to give him some credit on the "Proof is in the pudding" theory.

Next Kadizzle went to a presentation by a lady dressed in a period costume.  She was supposed to be doing a historical presentation on what a Tea Party would be like at an old fort.  Well, it turned out she was totally scatterbrained and ended up giving a religious reading about teacups, and then had the audience play some word games that had nothing to do with history.  The theme of the day at the historical event must have been "What happens when religion collides with reality".