Gravity Waves everywhere

Few things are worse than unexpectedly getting hit by a gravity wave. Lord Kadizzle has a lot of experience and tips for those who may be struck. If the wave appears to be mild don't panic. For example: If you are doing a few dishes and a gravity wave starts to hit you, slowly move toward the den and sit down in front of the TV until the wave passes. This may take a news show, sometimes two. Once the wave has passed move back to the kitchen. As you get near the sink if you don't feel anything abnormal, go ahead and finish the dishes.

Now for the medium gravity wave, what do you do? Suppose you have been putzing about the yard and begin to feel heavier than normal. This is going to require a snore nap. Again this can be handled in the sitting position with the TV on or off. The important thing is to recline so the wave can be evenly distributed over your body, otherwise you might get crushed. A snore nap usually takes about fifteen minutes of hard snoring to break up the gravity. Remember to get up slowly.

Next we are going to discuss the massive gravity wave. To survive this you must completely lie down in a soft bed. Gravity is effected by sunlight, so normally one is safe until the sun starts to set, but don't be surprized if you are hit by a wave as early as 7:30. Once you feel a wave starting don't panic. Move slowly toward the bed. Sometimes the wave will pass in an hour or two and you can get up and safely watch TV or read. However, many waves will last all night and the best thing to do is remain prone until you feel completely safe.

What if you are at work and get hit by a wave? Quickly put your feet up on the desk. Be very careful that your chair does not go out from under you. I know several people who were almost killed in this fashion.

Don't take gravity lightly, it can strike anytime and anywhere. The key is to be proactive. At the first signs you are getting heavier get to the nearest couch and lay down. Kadizzle has survived some serious gravity wave which now seem to be more frequent with advanced age. Remember, don't let gravity get you down.