Fire at rumor mill, hoopleheads speechless

A couple days ago the local coffee shop had a fire. The place had to close for a few days. Hoopleheads get most of their news and stories second hand. For local myths, legends, and just plain lies the coffee shop is very important. The people who firmly believe Barrack Obama does not have a birth certificate get assurance at the coffee shop that he is a terrorist.

So when the hoopleheads could not get confused at the coffee shop they all had to sit home and rely on Fox News to scare them and keep their heads spinning with falshoods. Joy has returned to Hazen and the coffee shop is open.

Now for an example of how hooplehead knowledge works. About a week ago a tornado was spotted near Beulah. Some local dinger set off the warning system in Beulah. However, the dinger did not do it correctly and he managed to set off the alarms in Hazen, and Stanton in addition to the alarm in Beulah. Well immediately the hoopleheads used reverse hooplehead thinking to conclude that if there was an alarm, there was a tornado. Even though the sky are clear, and all evidence points to no tornado, coffee shop wisdom says there was one. The basic principle of coffee shop truth is that if a lot of people believe something it is true. Sometimes the definition of a lot of people is everyone sitting at your table at the rumor mill.

Usually the morning starts out at the coffee shop with a big hooplehad swaggering in and pulling up a chair. The hoople regurgitates something scary Fox News made up the night before, so the hoople says, " Did you hear about Obama grinding up all the shell casings so we cannot get ammunition?". Without any thought the game is on and the hooples are going wild. No hooplead ever goes to an urban legend site to check out anything.

Did you ever wonder who buys all the Amish heaters you see advertised or the other stuff Billy May sell's. Yup it is the hooples. When you go in a hooplehead home and see the Edin Pure magical heater right beside the lounge chair you know you are dealing with a hooplehead. Hazen has so many hoopleheads the Edin Pure Heater man came every week. The salesman convinced the hooples that he could get two gallons out of a one gallon container. No problem. The hooples really love the heat you get from blowing air over two light bulbs hidden in a box. For a couple hundred bucks you could get one.