Idiots with guns

Many long moons ago old Kadizzle was a teenager.  Down on our hobby farm or brush farm or Booneville farm we were great groundhog hunters.  In his younger day Kadizzle could bring a vicious groundhog to the glory land with a 22 long rifle.  So one day Kadizzle took his cousin who had too much city in him down to Boonieville and the groundhog hunt was on.  After a fruitless hunt each of us was walking back up the road to the farm house.  Kadizzle noticed his cousin was continually working the bolt on the 22 he was carrying.  After working the bolt a few times to make sure the gun was empty the cousin swung the gun toward Kadizzle and pulled the trigger.  Accidentally as cousin swung the gun toward Kadizzle the cousin's finger hit the trigger and the gun fired. Cousin had intended to put the gun to Kadizzle's side.   Apparently one shell had hung up in the magazine on the last time cousin worked the bolt of the gun.  Cousin shot right in front of Kadizzle. Had cousin pulled the silly trick he intended he would have shot Kadizzle right in the kidney.  It would have been unpleasant.  It was a good lesson for all.

Hunting Kadizzle has more than once accidentally discharged a gun.  Things can go wrong when least expected.  One of the strangest experiences ever was pheasant hunting. Kadizzle had shot a pheasant and thought one more might get up.  So holding both the gun and the dead pheasant by the neck Kadizzle awaited the next pheasant to arise in the air.  As he walked the pheasant that was supposed to be dead suddenly came alive and kicked the trigger. The gun fired and scared the hell out of Kadizzle.

Now we come to redneck bubba land where just about every idiot has a gun.  Since Kadizzle has been in Arizona this incident has occurred twice.  A brave simple minded NRA gunman is in the parking lot.  Out of the store comes running either shop lifters or amateur robbers.  This is where the gun idiocy kicks in.  The gun hero in both cases started shooting at the alleged robbers.  Of course the gun nut misses, but does manage to shoot some holes in cars.  How can you be a good guy with a gun if you don't shoot suspicious people?  What fun is being a gun owner if you cannot shot a shoplifter every now and then.  The only problem with the NRA fun kit is the people in the parking lot who just bought groceries.  Who wants to come home and find bullet holes in their tomatoes?  The swiss cheese is no problem you expect that, but lead can ruin the taste of so many foods.