Sysyphus has always been Lord Kadizzles hero. Sysyphus symbolizes the futility of life, and the need to have a problem (see article below). While searching for a picture go to with the article Lord Kadizzle stumbled across the religion that lays claim to the picture. The religion has a lot of appeal, it goes at the problem straight forward. So I present to you:
The Story, so far, of The Church
The Church recognizes that The Savior died for our sins. If one fails to sin then one has chosen to prevent The Savior to save them. Heresy! Logically one must sin as much as possible to allow The Savior to perform his heavenly duties. This is, obviously, a duty that Sysyphus is only too happy to perform as the proud servant of The Savior in the role of El Grand Inquisitor.
The task of ensuring the faithful remain true to The Savior falls to Sysyphus alone. This thankless burden is one that Sysyphus pursues with great zeal. Other duties in the course of serving The Savior is hearing the confessions of the sinners, assigning a penance and offers absolution in the name of The Savior.
The faithful recognize the authority of El Grand Inquisitor as the sole voice of The Savior within The Kingdom of Loafington. Among the expectations of the faithful are complete obedience to The Court and their edicts no matter how ridiculous they may seem.
Heresy against The Church is a serious crime. Some of the more usual transgressions are heresy by thought, heresy by word & heresy by deed. What exactly comprises heresy is pretty much up to the whims of El Grand Inquisitor at that moment in time. Certainly refusing the commands of The Court is right up there as a pretty bad thing to do. Disrespecting The Court, any of the Knights or El Grand Inquisitor will not score any respect from The Court, so remember to behave!
Who exactly is The Savior? Well that’s for El Grand Inquisitor to know and for you to find out… :-)
El Grand Inquisitor is usually available to hear confession from any of the wayward faithful. Usually meaning when He is not busy “reeducating” a heretic or when He is not blitzed from too much communion wine. Remember to keep the confessions on the interesting side as the attention span of El Grand Inquisitor is minimal at best.
An indulgence, in the theology of The Church, is the full or partial remission of temporal punishment due for sins which have already been forgiven. In looser terms it is a get out of jail free card that The Church can give out for something you did, or plan to do, no matter what. Indulgences are available for purchase. El Grand Inquisitor does not accept credit cards, checks, money orders, travelers checks, counter checks or any form of currency. To purchase an indulgence you must offer something other than moolah. Use your imagination. Bags of Frop are always welcome as are Pils of Slack.
Any purified squires who are keen to toy with the idea of becoming an acolyte to El Grand Inquisitor and The Church must know that He has the attention span of an ADD inflicted 12 year old who ran out of Ritalin and must be constantly reminded of your acolyte status. It is possible that Sysyphus will forget who you are and that you already went through His acolyte initiation process unless you do something memorable to make Him remember you! Why someone would have any desire to become an assistant to a mad false prophet is beyond all reason, but El Grand Inquisitor does not judge. Well actually holding others in judgement is pretty much all He does.
The holy symbol of The Church of The Kingdom of Loafington is most apropos as it is not only the symbol for Sysyphus himself, it also represents abject futility. Religion. Abject futility. Yes. Very apropos indeed.
May the blessed light of The Crazy Diamond shine brightly upon thee.
-El Grand Inquisitor Sysyphus De Sade
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