Sleeping Jesus found in Zap

Living in a small town does have some benefits. One benefit is a weekly newspaper. Our paper is the Hazen Star. When we returned to Hazen, the story that made the front page concerned how the county road superintendent was mistreating his employees.

One of his sins was calling them names. Apparently, he tagged one worker with the name “Slow Jesus”. I've heard people called a lot of names in my day, but I could not help but wonder what a “Slow Jesus” was. I thought, perhaps, it evolved from, “Jesus! You are slow”.

Earlier this week I volunteered to help neighbor Bob haul some junk to the dump with my truck. I thought this might be a chance to solve the Slow Jesus mystery since the dump is run by county employees. As we paid the dumping fee, I asked the attendant who is "Slow Jesus”? He explained to me that the story was inaccurate. The nick name was “Sleepy Jesus”. The dump master told me that “Sleepy Jesus” lived in Zap. Apparently, “Sleepy Jesus” is a fundamentalist who works on the road crew.

I can see where all this could lead. All the television preachers refer to Jesus of Nazareth. I can see why they have to do this to avoid confusion with Sleepy Jesus from Zap. I still don’t know what a Sleepy Jesus is, or a Slow Jesus for that matter. Perhaps the road commissioner is getting a little impatient with the return of the Messiah. A little over 2,000 years is a long wait.

Still stunned by this mystery, I decided to resort to Google. My search led me to the story of Jesus on a ship in the Sea of Galilea.

A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him, and said to him, "Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?" He got up, rebuked the wind, and said to the waves, "Quiet! Be still!" Then the wind died down, and it was completely calm. He said to his disciples, "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?" They were terrified, and asked each other, "Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!" Mark 4:37-41

As the storm raged, Jesus slept. Now, this leads me to wonder about the work habits of Sleeping Jesus of Zap. Perhaps it is a compliment, because he remains calm in a crises, but on the other hand, it could be construed as an insult. The mystery remains, and only Kenny Nelson, the county road crew superintendent, knows the answer to the mystery.