One Child Left Behind

Coming from a family of nine children it was bound to happen that some would be left behind. All nine were born prior to Bush's "No child left behind program". I could not imagine why a family of nine would adopt, but I suspect some of my bothers and sisters were adopted. Most of us turned out to be normal loving Democrats, but a few like Tom did not seem to get the good genes. This is his Christmas letter to me:

For My Democratic Friends:
"Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes
for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress,
non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice
holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious
persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for
the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their
choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. We also wish
you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated
recognition of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but not
without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose
contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply
that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only
America in the Western Hemisphere . And without regard to the race, creed,
color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the
wishes.
By accepting these greetings you are accepting these terms. This
greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with
no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the
wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself or himself or others,
and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion
of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the
usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the
issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty
is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the
sole discretion of the wisher."


For My Republican Friends:


Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

Every year the Republicans elect Tom Businessman of the year in West Virginia. Tom has been out of business for at least four years. However, he sends checks to the Republican party, which apparently is considered by the Bush people a business.