Kadizzle will not run for Judge in Hazen

After 20 years of being the Hazen Municipal Judge, Lord Kadizzle will not run for re-election. The Commander will not run for re-election to the Park board after many, many years of service. Local rumors have it that Kadizzle is not running because of his anticipation that Obama will appoint him to the Supreme court. Kadizzle is well known in legal circles after his ruling in Quinn vs June Berry pie. In that case Judge Kadizzle ruled in favor of a man who ordered June Berry pie and was told they had no vanilla ice cream. The man was suing for mental stress. Kadizzle ruled it was unreasonable for a local restaurant to offer June Berry pie without ice cream. Kadizzle cited the "Life, Liberty, and pursuit of happiness" provision of the constitution. The ruling read in part, "This man went to the restaruant in pursuit of happiness, no reasonable food service place would build up a man's expectation by placing June Berry pie on the menu and then put it in front of him without vanilla ice cream".

Republicans are expected to challenge Kadizzle because he has never produced a birth certificate. Those on the right claim he may not have been legally born. Since Kadizzle is from West Virginia where cousin marriages are common, the right wing extremist claim that if you are the progeny of a mixed marriage that involves cousins you are not a person. Many on the left have doubts about Kadizzle also. With New York trying to limit salt on food, and considering higher taxes on French Fries, the left worries Kadizzle may come down of the side of big business and support no taxation on high calorie foods.