One nice thing about being retired is
the ability to think or not think as much as you want. After a
little discussion with The Commander, Lord Kadizzle determined it
would be best if he quit thinking altogether. The Commander agreed
it would be a good decision.
A doctor's appointment was set up and
The Commander took Kadizzle to a brain specialist. The specialist
explained the procedure. A device similar to a mellon ball maker is
inserted in the ear. All brain matter is removed. The surgeon
explained that having a hollow head would drive you crazy because of
the sound, so the normal procedure is to refill the brain cavity with
green Jello.
Once you are a retired man and have had
the green Jellow treatment thinking is no longer needed. Someone
else thinks for you. In Kadizzles case it is The Commander. Most
things a normal person would notice like the brake lights of a truck
in front of you are no longer noticeable. The result is The
Commander will say “That truck is stopping”. If you go out the
door, The Commander will shout “Close the door”, before you even
get halfway through it. You will be told to put your shoes on, take
your shoes off, and every aspect of your life will be regulated
because you are now incapable of the simplest task. This is not all
bad. Someone has to make coffee for you, because now you are an
idiot.
Driving is the hardest thing you can do
once you have had the green Jello treatment. Now you have become
totally blind. You will be told when to use the turn signal, when to
turn, which lane to use, when to change lanes, and the list is
endless.
The most amazing thing about the green
Jello treatment is it makes you an “idiot savant”. If you don't
know the term look it up, but Kadizzle will give a brief explanation.
An idiot savant is the type of person who goes around bumping into
things and bumbling through life, but has a special unexplained
talent.
How does this apply to the green Jello
treatment? Normally Kadizzle is incapable of boiling water, but when
The Commander gets stuck solving a computer problem, or some
mechanical device does not work, who does she call? Of course it
is the idiot that had his brains removed. How can this possibly
work?
As a teenager Kadizzle knew a friend
who lived with his granmother. His granny was something else, but
Kadizzle recalls granny Powell telling Ben, “ Don't let your
little head think for your big one”. After some thought Kadizzle
realized that a penis had a little brain. What granny was telling
Ben was not to let that little brain get the big one in trouble. Now
that Kadizzle has had the green Jellow treatment he realizes that the
little brain can do more than think about sex. The little brain
apparently is talented in computer science and many other things.
All these years Kadizzle thought the little brain was just snoozing
in his underwear it turns out, the little brain was doing a lot of
homework and studying. Thank god for that extra little brain. Now,
Kadizzle can sneak in some thought and decision making and The
Commander will never know.
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