Earth Module Lands on Planet Hazen

On a sunny day the Earth Module landed in Hazen, North Dakota.  This is a special planet most inhabited by Republicans.  Here there is no global warming.  Here every problem is caused by Obama. Here the poor are lazy welfare cheats.

It isn't all bad, there are no traffic lights.  Parking is never a problem.  Stores don't require any kind of payment if you do not have your wallet. Everyone knows everyone. You can walk right in and talk to the editor of the paper, the mayor, or the police chief.

Small towns have their virtues and vices.  Anyone can get elected to anything.  One simple minded dolt can wake up the whole town with his loud blunderbuss pickup truck.  When there is a fire or an ambulance call the whole town knows.  Rumors spread like weeds.

If you really want something you have to drive to Bismarck.  The post office is where everyone ultimately sees everyone.  You go have coffee with your group.  There is a small liberal group, and mostly right wing Obama hating NRA loving groups.  Nothing every changes.  At coffee people bitch about the hole in the street, the price of gas, how much the city spent on the garbage truck, and the price of grain.  The farmers complain it is too wet, or too dry.

Something is always going to happen, but never does.  They are going to build a hotel, but it never gets built.  We want a wellness center, but the old goats don't want any taxes.  The Earth rotates, and by some magic circle you are in the same place you were yesterday, and the year before.