Time for some sanity

Last night Kadizzle sat in a hearing for as long as he could take it. The local Hoopleheads have been fighting for years over what time it should be. Hoopleville is technically on Mountain Time, but about two thirds of the population lives and works on Central time. The net result in Hoopleville is you are never sure what time it is. In the old days when Kadizzle had a job the time line ran right down the middle of the bed. The Commander's side of the bed was on Mountain time, and on Kadizzles side of the bed it was central time. Each night stand had its own clock with the appropriate time. Around here we have about six types of time. We have fast time, slow time, plant time, my time, your time, Bismarck time, Hazen time, and of course anytime. If someone says come over for dinner at six you have to say, my time, your time, fast time, slow time. One would think after thirty years of this they would get it fixed, but this is a big issue. Remember how the South always referred to the Civil War as The War of Northern Aggression?". Well, around these parts the time issue is like The War of Eastern aggression. There are actually feuds that go on around here over the time issue. At the meeting last night an old goat got up and cried over his love for Mountian Time. Kadizzle knows when he is on his death bed and he looks up at his dearly beloved Commander and says "My time has come darling" The Commander will say "Fast time or slow time?". It is time to fix this nonsense, but the Hooples refuse to budge they love their time on this planet, and there is no way they are going to give up slow time. With slow time your time will come an hour later, and by God they want to live for that extra hour.