Frequently the motorcycle gang in Stanton sends someone over to Hazen for supplies. Today the same police chief who threatened a local resident for allowing his decrotive reindeer to fornicate on the lawn, captured one of the Stanton Gang on Dick Cheney's War Duck motorcycle. Apparently the cycle was stolen from Cheney when he was wheelchair bound. The motorcycle was very dear to Cheney, he used it to run over the truth, spread hate and discontent, and go to his rallies that attack anything Obama does. Cheney claims most of his ideas to help the rich come to him while he rides his War Duck motorcycle through poor neighborhoods to observe the destruction he has created.
When police Chief Dahl approached Shavanda on the cycle and demanded she return it. Shavanda shouted " I'll give this cycle back to his sorry white ass, when he gives the country back". With squealing tires she left Dahl in a cloud of smoke and the War Duck was on the road screaming to Stanton. Back at cult headquaters of the motorcycle gang on Strawberrry hill rumors have leaked that their leader Mad Dog Kerns is working on a weapon in case troops are sent to recapture the War Duck. Mad Dog knows Cheney fears weapons of mass destruction, so Mad Dog is working on a machine that will turn out right wing lies so fast it will drive the nation into a frenzy of stupidity.
The CIA reports the Stanton motorcycle gang has been trying to acquired stupidium form Fox News. Stupidium can only be made with complicated centrifuges that spin the brains out of Hoopleheads. Although there are abundant Hoopleheads in North Dakota the process is slow and complicated because of the small size of the brains you have to work with, but if anyone could perfect it, an undisclosed CIA source said it is Mad Dog Kerns.
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