The Remeadigus

What in the hell is the Remeadigus?  In ancient Roman times the mayor of every little town was required to make a trip through town each day to see how things were going.  The mayor was supposed to remedy any problems he found.  That is where the word remedy came from.

Everyday when Lord Kadizzle is in the ancient town of Hazen he tries to do a Remeadigus.  The best way to perform this function is by bicycle.  The first stop on the trip usually involves checking the potato heads.  There are four potato heads.  Up the street the neighbors made a nice little boy, and a nice littler girl.  As they got bigger the couple must have decided they liked their children so well they made two more identical.  So now the two older potato heads are in school, but the younger reproductions are fenced in the back yard with the dogs.  So as Kadizzle rides up the street the little potato heads start yelling "hey Mr. Potato Head".  Apparently they have figured out how to return the nick name.

Across the street is where the Biscuit and Gravy live.  Haven't seen much of them lately, but yesterday they were out on the street trying to fly a kite.  They have a unique knack for messing up any project. Kadizzle warned them about getting the kite string caught in the power line.  Gravy said he realized that could give him a sting.  Calling an electrocution a sting seemed like a novel idea. On the way back from the down town Remedigus Biscuit and Gravy were repairing the kite they managed to get stuck on the roof.

On a good day a lot of kids are involved in the Remeadigus. The next stop is usually to see the Doodlebugs.  Karen takes care of the Doodlebugs and does an excellent job.  As Kidizzle approaches the wild Doodlebugs in Karen's yard they begin yelling " It's the Doodlebug Man".   At this stop a few kids have to be thrown into the air and Kadizzle tries to remember all the names of the kids at the day care.  It is amazing how Karen trains kids.  They always do what they are told, stay out of the street, and take care of each other.

Shiney's  little art store is the next stop.  As you enter the dog alarm goes off.  This is a must stop if you want a couple pieces of candy.  Shiney is usually up on the happenings in town and has a couple stories about the Hoopleheads to relate.  Since Shiney is right behind the pocket park she can give a good report on what goes on there.

It might be necessary to stop at the Hazen Star office and check with the editor.  This is required to make sure the paper is not letting the local conservatives get out of hand.  Now we have a new editor that has to be broken in to the ways of keeping Hazen on as good a course as can be expected deep in the land of Rush Limbaugh and Fox News.

Next comes city hall.  Behind his desk the economic development director will be waiting for Kadizzle to buy him his daily diet coke.  This is not a testimonial to Diet Coke.  Duke may be the largest man in circumference in town.  Duke will fill Kadizzle in on all the goings on in the business world in Hazen. This could take up to a minute.  After discussing how to rearrange the world and complaining about the "Sunsabitches" it is time to go to the library.  The pleasant ladies at the library are always in a good mood, and it may be necessary one more time to spread the Democratic gospel of prosperity. Perhaps there are some kids there for story hour that can be encouraged to read.

Finally the Remeadigus can start the journey home.  This could involve a stop at the thrift store for a bargain on some junk, and to check the rag bin for good wiping towels.  The stop may also involve trying to make the preachers wife who runs the store see that Republican thinking and Christianity don't mix.  Recently she told Kadizzle God was against health care for everyone.  She knew this because Jesus only selected a few people to be healed.

The Remeadigus is just about over unless a stop at the creamery is in order to keep Daryl's blood circulating.  There could be an ice cream treat in store there if Daryl is in a generous mood.  Maybe a stop at the hardware store, maybe not.  Now back by the Doodlebugs where story reading on the swing is just beginning, and back home to take orders from The Commander.

Tomorrow it starts all over.