The Staff at the Mental Instituition

As most of you know poor old Lord Kadizzle has been confined to a mental health facility at the end of 7th Street in Hazen. The chances for recovery from terminal laziness are slim. It may be part of the treatment program, but all of the staff at Lazy Acres home for the Terminally Lazy is hyperactive. Perhaps the theory is that it will wear off. Do they come by it naturally or are they getting into the stimulants? All of the staff are bossy. The Commander is constantly barking out orders. Rumor among the inmates is that The Commander was once a Marine Drill Instructor. Jasper Little Bottom is not much better. Of course Shavanda is also curt and to the point. Winky is probably the nicest. Winky will sometimes ask nicely. Let me give you an example of this gang. If poor old Kadizzle gets up to go out the door Jasper Littlebottom in her calf high gardening boots will yell "Close the door!". Jasper will yell this before you have even half way opened the door. Shavanda will always ask you "What are you doing?". If Shavanda sees you taking a glass out of the cabinet she will quickly yell "What are you doing?". Most people would assume you were going to get a glass of water. Time at the nursing home runs at the speed of light. If all of a sudden the music comes up at a loud volume on the computer, Shavanda will yell "Turn that down", as if you did not notice the music was shaking the house. When they programed the staff at the nursing home they set the clock speed way to high. The Commander thinks you can walk form the bedroom and by the time you get to the kitchen the water for coffee will be boiling. Everything happens quickly in the world of Jasper Littlebottom. Ice melts at twice the speed it does anywhere else. Things in the world of the staff warm up and cool down much quicker than anywhere else on Earth. Disease is also rampant in the facility. If you ever touch a chicken Shavanda will make you wash your hands withing seconds. One nice thing about Jasper Littlebottom when she is on duty is that Jasper thinks she is the grounds keeper. This means that Jasper will spend hours fighting the weeds and talking to the green beans. However, when Jasper needs help out in the crops, you better be there quick. The way Jasper will order a glass of water, you would think it was the snappy Old Commander. Shavanda loves to burn your eyes out. You know how nice it is to just about be asleep and headed toward dream land. Shavanda somehow knows when you are close to this state. Shavanda first turns on the hall light, then she pops open the bedroom door and quickly turns on every light in the room. Your eyes pop out of your head, and what was a nice rest turns into a nuclear light show. This is the health facilities version of shock treatment. Got to go now. Jasper is out spraying weeds if Jasper comes in and finds Kadizzle has not done the dishes all hell will break loose, and Kadizzle will be reported to The Commander. This could result in an attack from Shavanda when nap time comes this afternoon.