Gofer caught in front yard using Hooplehead device

Yesterday Lord Kadizzle set out to capture a vicious gofer that set up residence near our front door. For 19.95 Lord Kadizzle bought the Kern's gofer begone device. The manufacture actually sent their sales representative to my house with the device. He arrived on a motorcycle with a helmet designed to make him look like a large gofer riding a motorcycle.

The factory rep gave me a brief run down on how the trap worked. You place the trap near the gofer hole. The trap is nothing but a piece of drain pipe with a sock on the end. Now the agent explained gofers are just like Hoopleheads, you can scare them into doing anything. He asked if I was a Republican politician. When I asked why, he said that in order to catch gofers you had to lie and be able to scare Hoopleheads.

The agent told me you set up a situation where the gofer would get scared and find it easier to run into the trap than get back to his hole. Lork Kadizzle began to see the scheme. It was just like bilking the Hooples.

So after the salesman left I put the trap out by the front door. When the gofer went out and toward the seeds I sprinkled near the trap, I rushed out the door and yelled "Obama is going to kill your grandmother". The gofer panicked just like a Hoopleheads and ran right into the trap. Now, I had him. Later I caught one by yelling "Obama will raise taxess".

The device is wonderful and comes with a recipe book. Now that Lord Kadizzle has used it he feels just like Rush Limbaugh or a Fox News anchor. Just make up anything yell it at the gofers and they are trapped when they run to the wrong hole.