Festivus, the Holiday for the Rest of Us

The time came to call the ceremonial man with the chain saw.  Fetivus would soon be underway.  Festivus is the annual celebration when one does feats of strength and you get to air your grievances.  The Kadizzles celebrate Festivus with a bonfire on the creek every year.  Symbolically an old dead tree is chosen on the creek bank.  The tree represents old pent up anger that has accumulated over the year.  The Chainsaw man is called and he comes in his special red truck.  After Chain saws a Clause has a beer or two he cuts down the old tree.  Dead wood from all over the creek is piled high.   Used oil is poured on the wood to represent all the pollution caused by too much greed and ignoring Global warming.  The fire is set and a few Festivus songs are sung.  Parts of the dead tree are left in very large pieces.  These are for the Feats of Strength.  Sam and Kadizzle wrestle a very large log onto the fire and the women are pleased to know we still have enough strength to climb up the creek bank.  Later one piece of log is so big everyone at Festivus is called upon to move it.  Moving the log is hopeless.  This represents the spirit of knowing what you can do and what you cannot do.  After trying to move the huge piece of timber everyone walks away humble and ready for the new year to begin with the understanding some things should be left alone.

At some point as the fire burns the Festivus pole is cut.  A long straight piece of wood is cut and carefully trimmed.  The pole has two purposes.  First one can hold the pole and air a grievance.  One might hold the pole and say " Kadizzle you always wear your snowy shoes in the House".   The pole is also used to see who has the most skill at moving burning wood into the center of the fire.

An important part of Festivus is to teach people the world is never the way you think it is.  That is why a huge fire is burnt on the creek on top of water.   Now think about it, if someone said they were going to build a fire on top of eight feet of water you would think this impossible.  However, if you cover the water with ice it works just fine.   Most people when they attend their first Festivus see the fire burning on the ice and are sure it will quickly melt through.  It never does.  The next morning logs are still smoking and the ice is intact.

While the older members of the tribe sit by the fire and drink beer,  Sylvie prepares the ice rink.  Sylvie clears snow and scrapes the ice clean with a broom.  Grandpa pours water on the ice and we let it freeze to a nice surface.  The skating begins without skates.  Without skates one can do many fine figure skating moves to the delight of the crowd.

As the fire finally dies down to a manageable size the sun slowly sets marking the end of Festivus. People scramble up the creed bank freed from the anger they harbored all year because they aired their grievances.  The Catholics have their confession and Festivus has the Festivus pole.