Zombies in the forest.

About two weeks ago Lord Kadizzle took a motorcycle ride up a very remote road and finally reached a point where the road was so bad even a motorcycle could not make it.  In a burst of common sense Kadizzle went back. However, the ride did result in the discovery of a trail head.

Yesterday, Kadizzle and The Commander set out to make the hike up 2000 ft in about a mile an a half.  To get started we had to find the trail. By mistake we wandered up the road where Kadizzle had been stymied with the motorcycle.  Six miles into the wilderness a card table was set up where Kadizzle had turned two weeks earlier.  On the card table was a very strange collection.  There were brand new Zombie books for sale,  and the table was covered with a strange assortment of dice.  Additionally there was some pellets that turned out to be Chinese tea, or perhaps something that could be smoked in a bong, who knows.

As we approached what seemed to be the strangest garage sale on Earth the nice bearded fellow in the green shirt wished us a happy St. Patrick's Day.   Quickly we explained the greeting was perfect since we were Quinn's from Ireland.  After some brief chit chat Lord Kadizzle asked about the garage sale.  It was not a garage sale, it was a book signing and none other than Mike Griffiths the famous Zombie book author was there to sell and sign books.  As a special St. Patrick's day promotion we could have a beer and get our picture taken with Mike signing one of his books.  However, lacking $13 the beer stayed in the cooler, and the book on the table.

Mike said sales were good.  A person had accidentally come up the road earlier on an ATV and bought a book.  Six miles away on the paved road it might have been wise to post a sign "Zombie book signing today".   The sign should have given instructions " Just drive until  you are forced to stop, then walk".

Doing research for this story Kadizzle found out Zombies like fresh human flesh.  After visiting the camp of the dead deep in the forest The Commander and Lord Kadizzle set off up the mountain.  The thought of returning to the Zombie camp after the hike for a cold beer was tempting, but it seemed ill mannered to partake of the beer without buying a book, so Kadizzle and The Commander left without proper goodbyes.  Now it all has become clear.  The Zombies knew the size of Lord Kadizzle and how long it would take to cook a lumper of his mass.  If they waited until he came back down the mountain he would be half cooked.  The research also indicated the guy in the green - yellow shirt was Kurt Grabow the famous large format photographer.  Of course if they were going to cook Kadizzle and do an article for The Splendid Zombie Table they would need a large format camera.

Two thousand feet above the Zombie camp Kadizzle smelled the bacon he had seen Mike putting over the fire.  With just a small twist of fate another hiker could easily have smelled the bacon from Kadizzle.  The author explained to Kadizzle earlier that the very camp they were sitting in was part a novel he had written.  After our close call we both realize these are not novels he is selling but historical accounts of hikers they have ensnared.