BREAKING: PAYSON ASSERTS HISTORIC RIGHT TO TOURISTS 🇺🇸🪖
In a bold move reminiscent of very stable genius foreign policy, Town of Payson has announced it has every right to invade Pine and Strawberry to reclaim the tourists that were clearly stolen over the years.
“These tourists belong to Payson,” officials reportedly said. “They may currently be drinking coffee in Pine or hiking in Strawberry, but deep down, they are Payson tourists.”
Rumor has it Steve Otto is amassing armed men on the outskirts of town—mostly guys with tactical vests, leaf blowers, and strong opinions about roundabouts—preparing for a special tourism operation.
The plan, sources say:
Swiftly cross the county line
Secure gift shops, pie counters, and scenic overlooks
Capture local leadership
Transport them to Payson for a very fair trial at the community center (right after bingo)
Officials insist this is not an invasion, but a “liberation of misplaced visitors.” Any resistance will be met with stern looks, passive-aggressive press releases, and possibly a strongly worded Facebook post.
When asked about international reaction, town leaders responded:
“Frankly, Pine and Strawberry should be grateful. Payson brings freedom, order, and at least three new committees.”
Stay tuned. The Tourist Defense Force is reportedly standing by, fueled by breakfast burritos and righteous indignation.
🇺🇸 Make Tourism Pay-son Again 🇺🇸
(Satire, folks. Put the pitchforks down.)
1 comment:
Two quotes- When dictatorship is a fact, revolution becomes a right.”
— Victor Hugo and just for you Mike “The useful idiots are those who sincerely believe they are acting freely.”
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