The Middle of nowhere is comforting

Back in the middle of nowhere things are calm and the insane hustle of the east coast is behind us.  Thunderstorms in Minneapolis made a mess of airline service.  Lightening was the main culprit.  Every time lightening strikes withing three miles of the airport there is a ten minute time out.  Everyone has to run inside for ten minutes.  This makes getting planes in and out a gamble.  The landing in Minneapolis was spectacular.  The first try was a complete miss and the plane had to do a go around.  On the second try the plane hit hard on both the back wheels then jumped about thirty feet in the air can came down for a fast landing.  Mrs Kadizzle commented to the pilots about the landing saying " I suppose you guys are used to that".   "No" they answered.  One wonders how much abuse the plane can take.  A plane full of lumpers including Kadizzle has to be some serious weight.

So back in the world of a slower life the Crazy club will meet today.  Shanika called on the phone yesterday and explained how he wanted a job that paid well and did not involve any work.  So if you know of a job where it is your job just to sign you paycheck call one eight hundred dreaming.

Yesterday pushing Evie up and down the street in Florida Kadizzle noticed a sign on the back of the landscapers truck.  The sign said the company was all for safety and if you had a concern call.  Old Kadizzle the career safety guy noticed the industrial lawnmower was lacking some critical guards to keep the Mexicans that snuck across the border from getting entangled in the drive belts.  Kadizzle called the company and explained the problem.  Later Kadizzle noticed two official guys looking at the mower.  When Kadizzle asked them what they were doing they said they were just taking inventory.  It was obvious they were checking out the complaint.  Kadizzle spoke to them about the problem.  Then as all good safety guys do they sort of said we will fix it when we get around to it, but right now we got grass to cut.  So if  you see a Mexican running toward the border with only one leg, you will no what happened to him.  He will get no health care in our country, and it will teach him a lesson about coming into our country and cutting the grass for the country club.   Now if Trump really wanted to discourage Mexicans he should give them dangerous equipment to work with when they harvest our food and cut our grass.  Once one Mexican goes back and says he picked a watermelon that exploded it will make other Mexicans think twice about trying to give us cheap food and housing at their expense.

Back to reality.  Here Kadizzle sits and the grass needs mowed.  Just waiting for an immigrant to sneak in an cut the grass.

Grandpa's Girls

Kadizzle is sitting in the lap of luxury in West Palm Beach with his girls. Megan, and her little monkey Sylvie on the left, and Erin, with the ornery Sylvie.  Kadizzle made the mistake of letting Sylvie drive the golf cart.  Quickly Sylvie became addicted.  Megan put a quick stop to it.  The gang has been making a daily pilgrimage to the pool.  Evie loves the water features.  The tropical storm nearby has filled the pool at the house to the edge.

Tomorrow it is back to the Prairie.  If the weather is decent the good ship can be put in service. 

Living the good life

Morning has broken and the pool is becoming an infinity pool.  Rain here in Florida has filled the pool to overflow. The Evie admiration society is in full swing as everyone watches the little monkey move about to the joy of the beholders. Yesterday Kadizzle go is first high end massage.  First cook the fat in the steam room to make it more pliable.  Then an hour of manipulation by an expert who hunted down the gipples and drove the demons from the fat carcass.  Visiting with both our daughters in West Palm beach has found the Kadizzles living in the heart of the land occupied by the one percent.  Not a ray of sunshine has peaked from the clouds since we landed.

Kadizzle for so many years could not wait to see Megan be a mom.  Kadizzle knew she would be the greatest.  For Megan to have a real live doll that moves at random, talks and wiggles is the prize of a lifetime for Cheech.  Watching Megan and Evie play with all the toys that rain from the sky here one wonders if the toys are for Evie or Megan.  Of course every new toy set involves hundreds of individual pieces to scatter all over the floor.  Sam may have to just get a scoop shovel and a broom to put the stuff away. 

Tuesday we will go back to our planet which is completely different from this one.  On our planet you cannot walk two blocks and enjoy three pools, a gym, and just about any corporal pleasure one could engage in legally.  This is probably a good thing we are returning because among other things there are twelve spigots  that dispense ice cream at will.  Beside those spigots is a table with twenty different things to put on the ice cream.  If you were going to trap a fat man this would be the perfect bait. So we must return to North Dakota while the plane can still lift Kadizzle off the ground.

A different world

Kadizzle grew up in a different world than his grandchildren.  Sylvie and Evie live in a world where every request will be filled rapidly.  The concept  of want and need have no real meaning.  Each grandchild is an only child.  Wow, Kadizzle was one of nine.  Kadizzle grew up a a seed that was cast out into the field to grow as life would have it.  Toys?  Are you kidding?  On Christmas Eve my dad would go out on the back porch and fire his shotgun, then he would come in and tell us Santa Clause committed suicide.  Sylvie has been all over the country and to Hawaii, even Mexico and she is 9.  Poor old Kadizzle never went farther than Pittsburgh or maybe the beach in New Jersey.

Your own room are you crazy.  Kadizzle shared a room with his brother until the teen years, and then at last space was freed up from the ones that left.  College was a pay your own deal.  A car?  Earn the money, no one is just going to buy you one.  So watching these two little girls grow up in a different world will be fun. Hope they don't expect too much.

Florida

The Kadizzles  occupy two worlds.  There is the world of urban sprawl and the remote parts of the same world.  Today we wake up on the East coast in West Palm Beach Florida.  Sitting in an enclave of luxury we are living like so many Americans.  A small nirvana carved out of a vast area of urban sprawl.  Our cities grown like a disease, not like anyone planned them.  People try, but cities have a way of turning into a mess.  The American obsession with cars is stunning to see in action.  The amount  of landscape devoted to moving cars about is almost incomprehensible.  Every part of our dealing with the Earth is dictated by car movement.  Keeping millions of cars constantly in motion is out insanity.  Old cars are worshiped, and restored like gods.  Unsustainable is the only thing that comes to mind.  Cars induce the same insanity in people everywhere.  In Denver, Phoenix or West Palm Beach the disease of the aggressive drive always sprouts.  You see the gasoline crazed fool pulling quickly up beside you.  The poor person drunk on horsepower has to move forward in the maze.  With disregard for all life the idiot weaves in and out of vehicles moving at 70mph.  What is it about a car that brings out the worst in the stupidest?

The Meeting

Just back from the Crazy Club weekly meeting.  It was an excellent meeting, well attended, and wonderful discussions.  The discussions ranged as they should on every topic.  Everyone participated and all parts of the universe were represented.  It was like an ideal church service, no building, no costumes, no money exchanged.  Just people talking and expressing their views on humanity.  The owner of the place was there and a great participant.  Did he ever envision that what he thought was an art gallery, and art store would turn into a successful Crazy Club, that sold very little art?

A lot of talk about religion took place.  It was a good talk because each portion of the religious or should Kadizzle say non religious were represented.  Part of the conversation grew around the concept of community, and what it should be, what it used to be, and what it is now.  Seems like everyone agrees Trump has brought the world into a state of shock and malaze.  There seems to be a lot of people wondering " What have we done?".   So the meeting ended with rain from the sky.  Maybe the rain is permission to go on with life.  There would be no life without rain.  If there is a magic higher power perhaps that power sent a gift in the form of liquid hydrogen, and oxygen. 

Tomorrow we hop on the big bird and fly to Florida to meet with the Crazy Club our marriage has created.  It will be great to see the gang, and the newest Earthlings that have sprung from our union.

At Last

Stroupini and Kadizzle hoisted the sails and headed the good ship out to sea.  Perfect day for a sail and the racehorse galloped like a champ.  Everything performed.   God is in Heaven, Trump is in the White House, and life of the planet goes on.  The Kadizzles will blast off for Florida this week to see the two smallest pumpkins we have.  Evie is starting to talk up a storm and Sylvie is struggling with some digestive problems.  It will be great to see the two little ladies.  On the home front the yard is in full bloom.  Selling the boat and the house seems hopeless.  Not even sniffers to speak of.  Two sniffers on the house.  One good one, and the other just a tourist that wanted to see if we really did have underwear on our floor. 

The day is starting in full glory, but rain is in the forecast.  Kadizzle is contemplating mounting the motorcycle and buzzing clear to the lake on back roads.  The rain could put a kibosh to that plan.  Mrs. Kadizzle is still obsessed with her practice hiking.   She may put her 35 pound pack on her back and pound herself into the ground.

So life goes on.  Very slowly the fleet is getting launched.  A lot of turnaround in boat ownership this year.  One power boat fellow went to the big lake where the sun always shines and he will no longer be on the docks.  The Old Matilda is being refurbished, and it will be a big job. 

The yard sprayer guy just showed up and will spray our retirement account all over the yard.  Kadizzle can get free fertilizer down at the farm supply place, but the magical stuff is essential from the weed man.  Time for a second cup of coffee so that is all folks.

One more try

The good ship never left the dock yesterday.  Kadizzle did not want to take the ship out alone without all the stuff checked out.  No one wanted to come out and play.  Kadizzle may have to get his spiritual advisor to go today.  Kadizzle may invite the local retired minister.  This is a strange combo, Kadizzle and a retired Lutheran minister.  He is a great guy, very well read, and even sees Kadizzle as one of God's children.  All of this as he knows well Kadizzle is possessed with an agnostic devil.  Together we like to discuss politics and drink wine.  So we will just see what happens.  Another alternative may be to get old Shanika to go. 

Poor old Trump, the victim of a witch hunt.  Seems like he has a lot of buddies who are witches.  Hunting witches is one thing, finding them is another.  It seems like the swamp is full of witches.  Trump is doing the right thing. Now he is asking the investigators to investigate themselves.  If you come to the wrong conclusion about Trump being a lying crook, then you need to redo your work. 

Set Sail

Hopefully today will be the day.  All the stars are in alignment and it is time to take the Sovereign out on the high seas to hoist the sails.  Ah, a gentle breeze doing it's magic.  The lake is rising a tenth of an inch per day.  Last year Kadizzle pounded a yard stick into the mud to check the lake level.  The water has creeped halfway up the yard stick.  The lake is at 1844.4 above mean seal level.  Everyone likes to speculate how high the lake will go.  It can only go to 1854 then the water goes over the spillway.  Kadizzle predicts 1848 for sure.  The mountains are packed with snow and it should really start to melt toward the end of June.

Yesterday we Stroupini's boat launched.  It is a nice little boat that could use some maintenance on the woodwork. Another fella is up there trying to restore Matilda.  Matilda looks just like you would expect.  An old run down Russian baking woman.  However, Matilda is making a good come back.  Some of the previous owners did some stupid things and reversing them is no easy task.

Doing the migrations of crap from camper to home to boat is an endless task. Where is the kerflumple?  Is it in the basement, on the boat or in the camper? When you need a keflumple and you don't have one it is a disaster. 

The Skies have opened

Rain is finally falling from the heavens.  Kadizzle has a reputation for being cheap. He is proud of that reputation.  The other day he discovered down at the fertilizer place they give away the stuff they spill.  Parts of the yard are now sprinkled with free fertilizer.  As the rain hits the stuff maybe the world will turn greener.

What can you do on a rainy day, perhaps a trip to Bismarck to piss away some money on things we really don't need.  Mrs Kadizzle just ordered more stuff for her great adventure.  The cost per mile of her hiking is steadily going up, but if it keeps her content it will be money well spent.  Not an once of fat on the little woman, so the hiking seems to be working well.  On the other hand Kadizzle is a big lump of potatoes and desert.  However, Kadizzle did ride up to the lake the other day on the bike.  That means he can still propel himself with two wheels.  Of course you could say that about a person in a wheelchair.

One nice thing about Kadizzle headquarters is we have the place set up for automated music everywhere.  From any computer we can control the music in the house.  Then we have Alexa to provide voice control of music and accompany us in the shower.  Alex will not scrub your back but she will sing Willie Nelson. 

Hard Core Stupid

The human mind does one thing very well. Humans are very good at recognizing patterns. Sitting here looking at Discovery magazine there is an article on how many people believe in chemtrails. You know the nutty people who think the government uses jets to spray us with chemicals. The number that catches the eye is 9%.  Nine percent believe, and 25% are unsure.  Add these two numbes and you get pretty close to the magic number.  Somewhere between 27 and 32 is a number.  That is the number of hard core stupid people.  The hard core stupid relish ignorance.  They love Trump, and goofy science.  Kadizzle would chose the number 28%.  Almost every survey on any subject somehow turns up the same number.  It is reasonable to conclude 28% of the population is dumber than bricks.  You could sell them anything or get them to believe anything.  The hard core stupid like simple explanations like Obama did it, or maybe it was Hillary.  The hard core stupid are what put Rush and Fox in business.  You can tell them anything.  The more idiotic or insane the better.  These are the people who give the crooked stump preachers money, they keep QVC, and the Republican Party in business.  In the next election the person with most money will win.  There is a simple explanation.  You can buy the vote of the magic 28% of idiots with the right adds.  Republicans usually win elections because they own the magic 28%.  Trump knows and readily admits he loves he uneducated.  Now here is your assignment.  Next time you look at any polling number or survey try to notice what percent of people give the dumbest answer possible. You will find the magic number.  28%   You know that old saying " You can fool some of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time". Well you can fool the 28% all the time.  That is why we have Donald Trump.

Don't talk about things you have not experienced

The Good Ship is launched

At last after a lot of refurbishing, and painting the Sovereign is in the water.  Stroupini and Kadizzle pushed the boat in. Perhaps the boat wanted to get in the water.  The poor pickup truck could hardly hold it on the ramp.  Hopefully the boat is secured properly Mrs. Kadizzle says there may be strong winds tonight.  Now what we need is a nice sail down the lake. How pleasant would it be to watch the sun go down in Moose Bay.  Our sailing group has two squeeze box players.  Stroupini is one.  If we could have a glass of wine after a good steak on the grill and then sing along to a couple squeeze box tunes.  Kadizzle sleeps nowhere as well as in the quarter berth on the Sovereign.  The boat is for sale, but not a single nibble, so we will more than likely be doing the regular sailing routine this summer.

Meeting Day

It might be a big meeting down at the crazy club today.  If our two new members show up there will not be enough chairs.  Kadizzle wants to bring up the competition.  Of course you have Trump with his buddy in North Korea.  Who could beat their crazy club.  Locally our competition come from Rita's sewing shop.  Rita never has that many crazies, but she does have quality.  Crazy Bill was about as dingy as you can get.  Now Rita has pulled a slick one.  Rita has recruited the kids with learning disabilities.  So she has gone strong by going young.  Our Crazy Club has nothing but old goats.  How are we supposed to compete?  Stroupini who always has some good crazy ideas gave Kadizzle a great idea to go after the worthless city commissioners.  Kadizzle has had a Jihad against the junked cars all over Hazen for years.  Stroupini suggested a calendar.  Each month would feature a nice picture of some yard junked up with cars and trash.  This would set the city abuzz.  Were it not for extreme lethargy Kadizzle would get on the project.  So far Kadizzle's mail box has been run over twice by the slummers.  Perhaps the mailbox needs another treatment.

If the blasted teflon paint comes today maybe Kadizzle can slap it on the good ship and launch.  A nice sail in a soft breeze would put the heart in a good place.  If you are reading this Honest Omar we need to recruit your guys sometime this summer for a sewage sail.  Just cannot imaging how big those guys are now.  Miss the old sewage sails.  For those unfamiliar with a sewage sail perhaps an explanation is due.  In the old days when the marina was owned by a ruthless scallawag Kadizzle had to go clear across the lake to pump the sewage out of the good ship.  Click and Clack the tappet brothers and grandsons of Honest Omar would go along.  On the way we would sing sea shanties, and when the ship pulled into Fort Stevens we all had a round of Ice Cream stuffed down our cannons. 

The Pizza Well

The father of Kadizzle always had some scheme to strike it rich.  One of his ploys was to buy fractions of land at tax auctions.  This ended up in some strange acquisitions.  Once he ended up owning an old railroad right of way.  Kadizzle asked his father what he would do as a railroad magnate.  Old Gold as we called him replied that he was going to charge all the people who were crossing his railroad illegally.  People all along the Old Gold and West Virginia railroad ignored it and built their driveways, fences or whatever on the Old Gold W&V.  Kadizzle explained to Old Gold that hillbillies were not a good group to rile up and if you tried to make them pay you would be dead with in a week.  He must have listened. 

As a result of these great ventures Kadizzle inherited the mineral rights in one half acre of ground in the middle of West Virginia.  Years ago out of nowhere someone wanted to lease the land.  In fact the very coal company Kadizzle worked for wanted to lease the one half acre.  Inquiring into his new found fortune Kadizzle asked the person aquiring the lease what it would pay if the hit a good well. The land agent explained that Kadizzle owned such a small portion that if they hit a good well Kadizzle might get enough money every month to buy a pizza.

Yesterday as the Kadizzles headed to the lake they stopped at the mailbox.  Kadizzle could see through the little clear window with the address the words pay to the order of.   Mrs. Kadizzle opened the letter with a big smile.  Inside was a check for a little over a thousand dollars.  All the way to the lake we puzzled over why we were getting a check for a thousand dollars.  Our first impression  was to run to the bank and cash it.  Kadizzle finally examined the check carefully and figured out it was a check for renewing the lease on the Pizza well.  Kadizzle did not realize he was leasing his vast mineral holding for periods of five years at a time.  Even though no well has even been drilled yet it works out Kadizzle has already received 110 pizza.  So if you wonder where that spare tire comes from it is the pizza well.  If the math is correct the lease is producing more pizza than the well ever will.  So lets just hope they never drill.  Incidentally the land man said the well could pay enough for  a nice salad or a pizza every month.  The pizza seems the best choice.  Who knew in West Virginia you could drill for salad or pizza.  Since most of the population is overweight you know most of the drilling concentrates on the pizza formation.

We swim in your snow

The big lake is already coming up quickly.  There is a lot of snow in the mountains.  The lake is at 1843.6 feet above sea level.  Kadizzle predicts it will at least go to 1848.  This means the good ship Sovereign will be able to go way back into bays and tie up for the night.  Going far up an incoming stream is nice when the lake is high.  Many more places become accessible by boat.  There is some downside to a like that is high.  Things that were above water are now unseen obstacles.   You need to stay alert or bust your keel on a submerged island.

Boats are like people they grow old.  Like people boats need parts replaced.  The sails are getting thin.  More and more scuffs and scrapes are on the hull.  If you sailed as long as old Kadizzle you can see how sailors began to give their ships human qualities.  Somehow if you go through a lot with a boat you begin to feel the boat is part of the team.  When you blast through a storm and the boat holds together you are thankful.  A critical failure in bad weather could end in an unpleasant way.

Walking around the boatyard Kadizzle inspected the hulls of the ships up on their trailers for the winter.  Some of those boats should not go back in the water.  One boat has a crack that seems to indicate the keel is in jeopardy.  Sailboats rely on the keel to keep them upright.  If your keel falls off you will turn upside down at an amazing speed.  The memory of a sailor in the Pacific comes to mind. His keel feel off and the boat turned upside down.  For days he was in the overturned boat.  He was extremely lucky the Australian coast guard dropped a sonar buoy in the water near him. It picked up his tapping on the boat and they rescued him.  Should Kadizzle find himself in such a bind on Lake Sakakawea the most likely outcome would be people shooting at the boat to sink it.

Shut Up

There are two of us.  We are a pain in the ass to the conservatives.  For years Kadizzle and another liberal have consistently filled the Bismarck Tribune with our left wing diatribes.  Every so often someone writes the paper and complains about out continual outpourings.  If we are lucky someone writes in and express their support for our efforts to inject reality into the realm of the conservative mind.  So today a right wing dinger complained.  The diner suggested people go to Fox News for balanced reporting.  The solution for those on the right seems simple.  Just write your own right wing letters.  A few do, but it seems most just don't want anything that makes the question the leadership of Trump, and his lickspittles in North Dakota.  What a wonderful world it would be if every morning you could pick up The Bismarck Tribune and the headline would read, " We agree with everything you believe".  Life would be all roses.  Why can't all the weather reports in the paper say sunny and mild?  We have reached the point where you can tune into a television station and they will tell you and the president exactly what you want to hear.  The world gets better every day.

Competing little towns

Here we sit in the little hamlet of Hazen.   Over there about ten miles is Beulah.  The two towns have had a rivalry forever.  Kadizzle went over to the enemies town the other day and visited their new wellness center.  Wow, it is nice.  Beulah did it right.  Kadizzle was overwhelmed by the quality and thoughtfulness that went into it.  For years Hazen has been trying to get off dead center and have such a facility.  Sadly Hazen has succumbed to an acute plague of Republican thinking.  In the old days Hazen had some people with drive.  Now, the city commission is about the absolute worst in history.  A bunch of people with axes to grind now run the city.  Just don't spend any money is the working motto. There used to be some people with drive in Hazen who wanted to improve the town, not any more.  Hazen cannot accomplish some of the simplest things on the planet.  For years Kadizzle has had two Jihads. The sidewalk jihad, and the junked car jihad are perpetual problems.  Yesterday Kadizzle was shocked when he picked up the Guzunhiet Gazette.  Two stories in the Hazen star featured people complaining about junked cars, and sidewalks.  What a nice ray of hope to appear.  Maybe the town has awakened from the sleep of ineptness. 

When Kadizzle made his trip to Beulah it was with Stroupini.  Stroupini comes up with some good ideas.  How can you wake up the Hazen Hoopleheads Kadizzle asked Stroupini.  Make a calendar Stroupini suggested.  What are you talking about?  Stroupini suggested Kadizzle make a Hazen Ca lender.  The calender would feature nice shots of the junked cars parked in peoples yards.  The run down slum abodes, and the sidewalkless areas where people have to walk in the street. Hmm, this might work.  Embarrass the worthless city commissioners who cold not organize a dog fight.  This seed of thought has been floating in the Kadizzle mind.

The Russians

Kadizzle must be part of the Trump Russian connection.  Old Shanika called today because he is as bored as Kadizzle.  Somehow we got to talking about the Kadizzle blog.  Old Kadizzle thought while he was on the phone BSing he would just take a look at the statistics for the blog.  Low and behold there it is.  It makes no sense.  The company that runs this blog software gives the blogger, in this case Kadizzle, some statistics about who is reading this blog.  Kadizzle has not looked for a long time.  It is always strange to find that people in the strangest places are stumbling across this nonsense.  369 followers are from the United States.  Coming in second to much amazement is Russia.  363.  How is this happening?  Half the Kadizzle readers are Russian. Sadly the Vietnamese come in third with a lousy 20.  No offense to the people of Vietnam, but kick it up a little.  Back to the Russians.  Why are the Russians following this blog.  The only plausable explanation is to create chaos.  Shanika thinks the Ruskies are reposting these reports to create chaos in the world.  Makes sense they create chaos in Kadizzle head.  So here is a big shout out to all the Russians.  You Russians sure made a mess for Trump.  If you would just sent me a clip from the pee tapes I would sure like it.  Man if you Russians would just use this blog to do your hacking, that would be great, we could use the publicity.  Now if you Russians would tell me who you are going to support for our next president I will let Putin stay at my house when he comes to North Dakota.  Boy am I in trouble if the North Dakota right wingers find out I am in cahoots with the Russians.  Now, you blasted Russians think about this.  Maybe Kadizzle is doing counter espionage.  Did ya think about that? Maybe the CIA has Kadizzle confusing the Russians.  Now I heard you Russians are funneling money to Trump.  Just in case you wonder there is a big funner in my garage. Use the red one, I think you can get wads of money to go through it.  No need for any of that Stormy Daniels stuff.  Kadizzle has Stormy Mrs. Kadizzle. 

The Space Ship

Last night Kadizzle sat on the back porch.  All of a sudden he noticed a bright light hovering above him. Then the phone rang.  "Is that you Kadizzle?" the voice said.  It was the guys in the space ship right above me.  "Yes, it's me".  Well we just got here from way over there in the galaxy.  We had some questions for you.  Fire away Kadizzle said.  Sitting up here in our spaceship we see your planet has plenty of food.  Sitting up here it looks like you have plenty of wood for houses, plenty of fuel for your stoves, and plenty of everything.  What gives?  How can you have so much and yet so many of you have wars, and starve, and live in huts, and die so needlessly of disease.  Kadizzle reached in his pants and scratched his ass for an answer.  Well I guess we have a distribution problem.  Sure we have plenty but somehow we gave most of it to one percent o of the population.  What in the hell did you do that for Kadizzle?  We got this thing called religion.  It lets us fight and get confused.  Some of us use it to fool the rest of us.  Then the smart ones take everything from the dumb ones. The spaceship guys could be heard laughing as they sat on the porch of their space ship.  That sure doesn't sound like fun for a lot of you Earthlings.  No, but the ones who win have a great time.  Sometimes the dumb ones get together and kill the smart ones, but until then life here goes on.  Why don't you guys share more?  That would be communism, or socialism, and our leaders tell us sharing is not nice.  Who would believe that?  A bunch of dumb people.  Oh, we see you need dumb people?  Yes we need real dumb people.  How do you get so many dumb people?  We have Fox News, Rush Limbaugh, the church, and poor schools.  They supply us with all the dumb people we need.  Very interesting.  So you really don't have a problem, you just create one.  Now you got it.  How is it working for you.  Great, we have a real idiot for our leader now, and we are creating stupid people at a rate never before anticipated.  Up here in the space ship we figure you are going burn up your planet with pollution or nuclear war.  Well in the meantime one percent of us are having a great time.  Thanks for stopping by you space guys. Come again when we set off the bombs it will be a great show.

My harshest critic

God sent Kadizzle to Earth with several missions.  One important mission was to wipe out the mental disease called Republican.  As part of this mission Kadizzle writes letters to the Bismarck Tribune.  Some are hits, others, or perhaps most are duds.  Kadizzle came up with a brilliant idea.  Have Mrs. Kadizzle read the letters and give her opinion.  Just about everything Kadizzle writes stinks according to the editor.  So it is about time to fire off a missive to the Tribune and each try is getting no where with the editorial board.  The brain is failing so maybe a spin down to the Crazy Club will provide some inspiration. 

Yesterday Kadizzle took the Yamaha out to Stroupini's.  Carlos Stroupini was in the midst of fixing a lawnmower.  Carlos had given up, but Kadizzle got him to give it another try.  Kadizzle was able to fix the starter cord mechanism.  Like all mechanical things do this lawnmower was determined to keep leading us along.  The damn thing started. What a victory for Jeeesus.  Now that it was running we discovered the rusted out of balance blade would not turn.  We got that to work.  Now this is supposed to be a self propelled lawn mower.  Of  course that did not work, so more fooling around.  Take off the wheel.  We need a replacement wheel this one is shot. Down to the local lawnmower junk yard.  Oh, the hell with it.  So today at the meeting Stoupini will be there an Kadizzle can find out if the mower will be melted down or live another day. 

A bright light in the East

That bright light came up in the Eastern sky again today.   At long last the leaves have emerged from the trees.  Spring must fear coming into a world with Trump in charge.  Ice cannot seem to melt on the lake which is rising very quickly.  So here we sit in Hazen, North Dakota where the simple minded make loud noises with their magic chariots of idiocy.  An otherwise peaceful hamlet is constantly disturbed by surges of testosterone in the idiots.  Somehow the local Hoopleheads believe that they can attract a mate with a loud exhaust from a pickup or motorcycle.  Perhaps it signals to stupid women that there are stupid men available.  Hazen has a deaf and blind police force.  The local gendarmes would assist a bank robber carrying money out to his car.  The Hoopleheads not only like to disturb the air with their sounds, but they love visual displays of junk in their yards.  In hot pursuit of drug dealers the local police have no time to enforce the laws that make life pleasant. What fun is that when you are hot on the trail of someone who drank too much coffee. 

The house if for sale, and so is the good ship.   Only one sniffer on the house. The sniffer spent two hours here looking at the estate.  According to Mrs. Realestate the sniffer liked the palace, but we have not seen any cash waving in the wind.  Also one far off sniffer on the boat.  The boat sniffer seems to be a nigifiddle.  The fellow wants to know if Kadizzle ever farted in the boat.  The good ship was built in 1983.  It has been up and down the lake a few times.  It has been a wonderful ship, and Kadizzle loves the old girl, but it has a few scuffs and scratches.  It has been sailed, not polished until the paint is worn off.

Rita, God bless her sole sewed the mainsail yesterday.  Rita has become he de facto sail repair lady.  Thankya Jeeesus for that.  Rita fixed the sail for free, but Kadizzle insisted on paying her.  It would have cost sixty dollars just in shipping to have the sail fixed in a proper shop.

Once Trump showed the Republicans how easy it is to lie, and fool the Hoopleheads in North Dakota they all decided to jump in.  So now we have my nemesis Cramer trying to unseat Heidi, and we have another Trump lickspittle trying to fill Cramer's old position.  Give the Hoopleheads a forty dollar tax break to buy beer, and promise them they can carry their gun to church, that is all it takes to win in North Dakota.

The Preacher came by

Watching CNN doing a little show on southern West Virginia a knock came on the door.  Who could it be?  It was Kadizzle's minister.  Now this is a strange thing if there ever was one.  Kadizzle is an Orthodox Agnostic.  Years ago when Kadizzle first had a run in with cancer God sent a messenger to Kadizzle.  Very strange story, but Kadizzle and the minister have become good friends and often share a bottle of wine together.  Now for the strange part.  Had someone asked Kadizzle about the man Kadizzle would have got it all wrong.  Kadizzle thought his preacher was as hard core a conservative as is possible. As life always does it threw a curve.  The more Kadizzle gets to know the minister the more he finds the man to be extremely liberal. 

The strangest twist to the story is the minister's relationship with one of his flock who happens to be a good friend of Kadizzle.  Lets just call the friend confused.  Well confused has been a faithful listener to the minister for over twenty years, yet confused voted for Trump, and my preacher would have never considered it.  This is also the case of another good friend who goes to the same church.  It just seems too strange that people can get up on Sunday and go to church and hear what they want to hear.  Even though their minister is telling them Jesus was a liberal they are walking out after the sermon believing Jesus wants them to vote for Trump.

The root of the problem is those who preach the word cannot be too honest, or they will not have a job.  The men of God have to hint at the right thing to do, not actually be too pushy with love and sharing.  This all had a strange twist.  One day the minister said " As far as I am concerned Kadizzle is the best Christian in Hazen".   Of course he did not call me Kadizzle, but you get the point.  Kadizzle has not attended a Sunday Church service in over fifty years.


So what is the moral of the story?  No one is who you think they are.  You are never seeing what you think you are.  Last but not least  " The lord works in strange ways".  Kadizzle might add to that the God of the Bible  surely works in strange ways.   Trump supporters say " Sometimes God uses evil men to do his work".   God could not have chosen a more evil man.  Apparently God had the same scheme in mind when he chose Hitler. 

The minister knows Kadizzle has a reputation far and wide as a non-believer, at least in any traditional sense.  Strangely this gives the minister freedom to talk to someone with absolute freedom.  There is no doctrine that has to be adhered to.  There is no special way the world has to be viewed.  So like so many professions it is nice to take off your official hat and just be yourself.

There is an entire other side to this story.  The good preacher who drinks the communion wine with Kadizzle has been a volunteer forever on the local ambulance squad.   Kadizzle did a short jog on that crew.  It is a real sacrifice.  You are on call.  That means you have to get up in the middle of the night, and that means you don't get to go where you want or do what you want when you want.  It is a tremendous service to the community.  Hazen has as many preachers as it does views on how to telegraph God.  However, none have sacrificed so much time in real service to humanity that Kadizzle knows of.  It might be the old practice what you preach.  It doesn't happen very often.  The evangelicals proved that when they elected Trump.

Life is flying by

This morning Kadizzle tried to find some pictures of the Sovereign.  The boat is for sale and someone wanted more pictures.  This forced a review of photos from the last six years. Of course the photos are in no order so Kadizzle had to go back on the computer and just do an old fashion search.  Often life seems pretty mundane and boring, but when you look at all those pictures you realize how much you actually do in life.  Pictures from Belize, Vancouver Island,  the Green River,  The Missouri, and so many other adventures.

People should keep better notes of their life.  It is easy to forget all you have done and the places you have been.  One reason this tome gets written every day is as a log of life.  What good is a log of life if you never review it? Kadizzle never does. The memories come and go.  What triggers a memory?  Just made a cup of coffee.  That reminds Kadizzle of a tour of a coffee plantation.  The young tour guide showed us how to properly make a cup of coffee.  Now, where in the hell was that?  Seems like it was Costa Rica.  Forgot we had ever even been there. 

Now the scary part is we are making the final run.  Kadizzle will hit seventy next March.  Wow, that is scary.  Should we deplete the savings and let the kids fend for themselves?  Sure why not, lets jut go broke in glory. 

This all gets to the current situation.  We are do for a life change.  It is our last chance.  We have done the North Dakota summer thing too much. Time to bust out and do some other things before the clock runs out.  So that is why the house and the boat are for sale.  Seems sort of like getting your hair cut. 

Spring has taken forever to come this year.  The trees finally are pushing some leaves out.  Spring is coming at a crawl.  Once it does get here summer will no doubt blast by.

Gaslighting

Kadizzle studied the term gas lighting for awhile last night.  Use of the term comes from an old movie.  In the movie some evil character turns the gas lights up and down and makes them flicker.  His wife sees the lights changing.  The man acts as if the lights did not change, even though he knows it is him that is manipulating the lights. The woman begins to question her sanity.

Trump is the master of gas lighting.  Trump gives the rich a tax break and tells the simple minded they got one. The simple minded believe Trump is their sugar daddy.  Trump has the Hoopleheads so confused they don't know what is real and what is not.  One day Trump tells the Hoopleheads one thing and the next day the story changes 180 degrees.  The Hoopleheads by their contract with the Republican Party must believe everything Trump says.  This makes it hard for the Hoopleheads to keep up.  Now to make matters worst some of the reporters on Fox News state media are helping with the confusion.  When everyone is supposed to lie in unison and someone makes up a new lie without telling everyone else it creates confusion.  So in the end the best thing for the Hoopleheads to do is take the advice of George on Sienfield " If you believe it, it is true".   Now if you believe one thing at ten in the morning and Fox tells you just the opposite at noon don't worry, the truth is very flexible.

Kadizzle got on that lying scale in the bathroom this morning.  There is no scale that puts out fake news like the one in our bathroom.  According to that liberal lying scale gravity is pushing down on me even though I know I am getting thinner every day.  Of course the same people that made the scale have made these cameras that take fake pictures showing me chubby.  People lie about seeing  me in the kitchen eating indiscriminately and I have to pay them   $130,000 to quit telling people I ate all the ice cream.  My legal team is suing the company that manufactured the scale.  We all know that just because there are a lot empty ice cream containers in our kitchen I had nothing to do with it.  Yes, there is collusion.  The scale is colluding with the refrigerator.  Why do people tell me I am overweight when they know it is clear Hillary ate cookies.  Look at me, look at Hillary, who do you think at the cookies?  Lets not concentrate on the scale nonsense, lets look at what Bill Clinton did that is more relevant.  Bill  got caught in the cookie jar.  Everyone eats cookies so what if I did eat cookies, other people ate cookies.  OK, I did have some cookies, but I did not get them in the kitchen I paid a lawyer to bring them to me in the backyard, so I had nothing to do with it.  The lawyer is paid to do what he thinks is necessary to protect my reputation.  I did not want the cookies, but what were we supposed to do with the cookies when he brought them out.  Sure just leave them in the yard?  How would that look?  It would look like I ate cookies and ate so many I left some in the yard.  Now you see why I had to eat the cookies so fake news would not spread? OK, maybe I did eat the ice cream, but no one mentioned the refrigerator wasn't working it was going to melt.  How did I know I accidentally unplugged it.  So what if it was obvious to Mrs. Kadizzle the refrigerator was unplugged? There were some Russians in Hazen, and they want me to look bad and more than likely they unplugged the refrigerator.  I am smart, and I use words, good words, lots of words, so just follow my tweets and everything will be clear.

Throw it out, throw it out, way out.

The settlers had to lighten their load as they realized they would never make it to the end of the trail if they carried everything they owned. We all remember those westerns where they are pitching stuff out the back of the wagon.  Then you have the movies where the ship is sinking and you have to pitch stuff overboard.  Of course there is the airplane in WW II when they had to shove stuff out the door to make it back to England.  All this is going on today. The special thing that has been sitting in the basement for twenty to thirty years just waiting for a purpose went today.  Do we really need that can of rainmaker or that sunshine concentrator? Out, out dark spot, and out out old crap we never use.  Now if someone does not buy this house it will be extremely clean. 

Of course there is the regular fight about what finally has to go. It is like negotiating with Iran or Korea on nuclear weapons.  I will throw out this if you will throw out that.  Clean is all in your head.  If Kadizzle cleans rest assured it is not clean.  Only a well paid professional cleaning lady is qualified to dust here.  There is no rag or magic potion Kadizzle can use to dust that will satisfy the empress. The hardest dirt in the world to clean is imaginary dirt.  Some women, and perhaps some men have a knack for imagining dirt.  This make Kadizzle think of old Fabuloso.  Fabuloso camped across from us last year and won the nigifiddle prize.  Fabuloso shot Kadizzles socks right off his feet when he told him he removed the dual wheels from his 45 foot half million dollar motor home so he could polish the chrome on the inside.  Now that is a world class niggifiddle.

So we are being careful not to leave traces of humanity until the sniffer looks at the house tomorrow.  This is the first time the Kadizzles have ever been involved in selling a house so it is new to us.  We must show no signs humans have inhabited this place.  Hope no one notices the underwear on the floor or the spit in the sink. 

A sniffer turns real

The headquarters for Kadizzle Inc is for sale.  May have to move into the Earth Module if the place gets sold. Finally a sniffer asked to see the palace.   Mrs Kadizzle will go nuts any minute now with the need to clean the dump before the new possible owner shows up on Friday.  Will they notice the flaws of this place?  When you look at your own house what do you see?  Do you see the scuff marks and the tiny place the wallpaper is peeling ?  Will the sniffer see it and refuse to buy because the paint is not perfect or a nail on the siding is loose?

The joint pops when the grass turns green the price goes up exponentially.  If only spring would come it would be worth millions or maybe an extra grand or two.  The problem is if the Kadizzles don't get enough cheese for the castle the next castle will be unaffordable.  We could be stuck in the Earth Module or in your basement, or the kids basement.  So send us a rich buyer who wants this historic place where the only liberal in Mercer County lived.

The Remeadigus

Back in Hazen Kadizzle has been on the Remeadigus.  That is the trip taken through Hazen a couple times a week to shoot the shit with the locals.  The route is almost always the same.  A stop a Shiny's if her shop is open, then over to Rita's,  the library, and maybe city hall,  once in awhile down to see Berg, and then maybe a stop at Archie's garage.  Dave's garage is off the route since he went on to Jesus last year.  Surely Dave is up there working on a car telling Jesus dirty jokes.

As you listen to the people on the route you get a feel for the mood of the local atmosphere.  Not much goes on here, but one thing is clear the disease of stupidity brought on by Trump has seriously taken it's toll on our hamlet.  Talking to some of the local dingers is like hearing a book report on Trump, Rush Limbaugh, or one of the North Dakota right wing prophets.  The poor people are caught in the past.  Every Trump sin can be justified by citing something Hillary supposedly did, or Obama, or Clinton.  If Trump slapped Ivanka,  your typical dinger would say it was okay because Clinton had sex with Monica.

Not one dinger denies any sin of Trump, but says it is acceptable because this is normal behavior for presidents. The mind of a dinger is like the mind of someone in the seventh grade.  Some kid smarts off to the teacher.  The seventh grader is amused and likes the idiot who disrupts the class.  The dingers always think " Wouldn't it be nice to give the finger to the banker when he refuses you for a loan?",  " Wouldn't it be nice to say something nasty to the policeman when he gives you a ticket?".  So when the dinger sees a president act like a seventh grader it gives them a thrill.  These are the people who watch fake wrestling on television.  Remember Trump's appearances with fake wrestlers? The dinger imagines himself as a wrestler slamming the bad guy.  The dingers love it when the fake wrestlers put the microphone in their mouth and taunt each other.  Trump knows the dinger mentality and play to it perfectly.  Dingers think educated people are a problem.  In their mind the dingers know they are the victims of intelligent people so anyone who attacks thinkers is a hero to the dingers.  No one attacks thinking like Trump.  Trump has put the most ignorant destructive people in his cabinet, and the dingers love it.  The dingers know they are an oppressed people, and they want someone to stand up to their oppressor.  Strangely Trump plays this perfectly.  The dingers are oppressed by Republicans who want nothing but tax breaks for the rich.  Trump delivers for the rich by giving the dingers the circus they want while Trump helps the rich pick their pockets.  Trump will go down in history as the ultimate con man.