Sad News

You can ask the computer when you will die. The first time Kadizzle did this the computer said he would die at 1:00 P.M. on October 1st of this year. The day came and Winky was disappointed. She had marked on the calendar the date hoping for some relief. Since Kadizzle is still alive he decided to ask the computer again about his time of death. The news was devastating. Kadizzle should already be dead. The program asks about your weight, your drinking habits, your exercise and if you are right or left handed. Not sure what that has to do with living, but maybe left handed people die sooner. Before the program calculated death right to the hour. Now it says there is 0 time left. Kadizzle is literally living on borrowed time according to the computer calculation. Not sure if Kadizzle feels lucky or scared. Well it does offer some opportunities. If someone says they are going to kill Kadizzle he can reply " That is ok I was supposed to be dead a few weeks ago." If anyone says " I wish you were dead", Kadizzle can say, well technically according to the computer I am."  Maybe I am dead and just don't know it. At any rate it removes a big burden knowing you are already dead. They should have a special rate for dead people, just like they do for senior citizens. When they ask how old you are, you can say " I am dead".  How do you prove your dead. Well you will need the internet.  Kadizzle may go back to the computer program and adjust a few things to see if he can eek out another year of life. A little more exercise and less drinking could bring him back to life. 

Well, Kadizzle adjusted his life. He moved to the country, gave himself an average body, changed his outlook from realistic to optimistic, and upped the exercise a little. Good news he is alive again and will die in 2023. To be exact he will live for one year, 45 weeks, six days, five hours, 26 minuters, and it was 14 seconds, but now Kadizzle has used up several minutes. Oh, it is so good to be alive again. Now to figure out when in 2023 Kadizzle will be dead again. Of course there is the nuisance of having to exercise more. Not sure how Winky will take the news. She was kind of looking forward to less of a mess around here.