Colonel Klink

Colonel Klink could easily be accepted to the Crazy Club, but he is an associate member.  Klink has been nuts as long as anyone can remember.  Klink is in his late seventies.  Have you ever heard the saying " He was born on third base and thought he hit a triple".   That is Klink in a nutshell.  Rumor has it Klink's wife has oil money.   According to the legend Mrs. Klink gives Mr. Klink and allowance.  The net result is Klind sees himself as a real estate magnate.  Klink  buys up little plots of land, and old houses. Kling also perceives himself as a big game hunter. Klink spends big bucks to kill magnificent animals all over the world.  After killing an elephant that was minding it's own business Klink brought the carcass home and built the Elephant palace.  The elephants name was Tweeza.   Klink thought he would be a local hero, but it did not turn out that way.  When people went to the elephant palace their reaction was not "Gee Klink you are a brave hunter".  Instead they all said "Why did you shoot that poor elephant?".    Of course this did not deter Klink.  Klink just came back from Russia where he shot some poor bear in the middle of nowhere. 

Now credit has to be given where credit is do.  Klink has been a very good contributor to local project.  If you need some help with building a local park or project Klink gladly pitches in with his array of equipment and helps.  Klink cannot resist messing with real estate.  For absolutely no reason Klink bought property along the bypass in Hazen.  In the process Klink informed the adjacent property owners that he now owned part of what they thought was their back yard.  Of course this caused a giant kerfluffle.  Klink claimed he now owned the wonderful little creek that runs near our house.  Klink said he was going to fill in the creek.  Now that he owned the creek he became insane with the worry someone would fall in the creek drown and sue him.  So now Klink quickly fences off his property to keep the litigants from suing him.  Between the fence and the cost of surveying the property Klink pissed away a lot money.  On the other side of the bypass Klink put a row of junked cars.  Klink may have done this just to piss off Kadizzle.  Kling and Kadizzle are good friends, but we are both nuts.  One of Klinks insane fits lead him to build a tree house. The tree house has a sink, a microwave, and an upper loft with a bed.  The water from the sink just falls on the ground.  It is a neat little tree house that will rot away in his memory some day.

No an old Klink story. For some reason Klink has been obsessed all his life with killing exotic animals.  According to Klink when he was in a one room school house he sat and day dreamed about killing innocent animals.  Klink moved a one room school house into his back yard.  Klink decorated the schoolhouse exactly as it would have been when he was a young animal murderer.  There was one big exception.  On the walls he placed the heads of all the animals he has killed.  On the floor are the hides.  Now one day Klink decided to show Jasper Littlebottom the great schoolhouse.  Wow, did this blow up.

Mrs Kadizzle was examining one of the old fashioned desk. On the desk was a school book.  As Mrs. Kadizzle paged through the book she saw her name in the front of the book.  She grabbed the book and said this is mine.  Old Kadizzle had thrown out the book while cleaning the basement.  Klink who is a pack rat goes to the city dump and picks up treasures.  Well Klink had found the book at the dump.  Mrs. Kadizzle came home and about killed the old Kadizzle.   So life goes on in the little hamlet where the Crazy Club sits.