God Bless Honest Omar

As all good Kadizzle readers know we are trying to start a ministry to save native American souls on the reservations that border Lake Sakakawea.  A loyal reader Honest Omar has made a generous contribution to this end.  Now the lord does work in strange ways. Kadizzle was walking out to do his chores and notices an envelope on the garage floor.  Opening the letter which Mrs. K must have dropped Kadizzle found the contribution from Honest.  Not only did Honest make a nice cash donation, he also named the ministry.  " Words on the Wind" now this proves Honest is truly blessed by the lord and Samuel Adams. Since this is a prosperity ministry Honest Omar will receive a financial blessing today.  Everyone who donates as Honest Omar has will receive our booklet " How to help God by cheating Trump."  The booklet is packed with ideas of how to cheat on your income taxes.  All the ministry ask is that what ever you steal from Trump you give half to the lord.  Of course Kadizzle has the lord's address so you will need to send your checks to the ministry.

Just to review the plan is to buy a very large expensive sailing yacht which will allow Reverend K to sail deep into the Indian Reservations on Lake Sakakawea.  Reverend K will anchor in sight of heathens and drink beer and wine.  Naturally the heathens will call from shore and ask to share the sacrament.  Reverend K will invite them onboard and pray for them.  Of course he will have to give them some communion wine,  and beer.  We call the beer the urine of the sacred donkey Jesus rode on. Once the communion liquids have had their effect the new church members will be asked to donate ten percent of their income to save other souls. An immediate donation shows good faith and will help cover the cost of the sacrament.

Following the lead of Trump and the Mormons our church will allow multiple wives and porn star girlfriends.  However, God wants you to give as much to the church as you give to the porn star.  Sorry, but forgiveness is not free.  Church members will get a free list that will let them know how much forgiveness is for any sin.  Failing to send money to the church is a sin.  It can be forgiven for ten dollars. If you are thinking of a sin and want a free estimate on what it will cost to be forgiven, don't hesitate to call.  Incidentally voting Republican is a sin. It will  cost you health care, and you will pay more for all the essentials from China, but no problem just send " Words of the Wind" fifty dollars and your problem is solved.  Otherwise it will not rain, a tornado may hit your house, and one of your children will marry a Republican.  Not that God does not love you, but we do need rules. Reverend K can cite countless examples of people who did not send him money, and have had bad things happen to them.  A local man recently had a flat tire.  Would that have happened if he had sent words of the wind ten dollars?  You be the judge.  All you need is faith.  Today Reverend K has money just because Honest Omar had faith.  This proves faith works.  Why not make faith work for you just as Omar did.  Remember the greater the faith (faith comes in tens and twenties) the greater the blessing. God bless every one of you, except those that do not have faith.  See previous comments.