Another nice day has popped out of nowhere. Winky and Kadizzle have day after day of clear skies and nice weather. We live a lifestyle with no winters. Kadizzle often is confused about what time of year it is. It always seems like summer. The winter clothing has not been out for years. Kadizzle used to make fun of snowbirds, but now the opposite has come to be. Who would suffer through cold, wind, and winter if they did not have to.
Bums have figured it out. In the good climates you notice a lot more bums. In North Dakota they always said the winters keep the rif raf out. It is true. There were few people living under bridges in North Dakota.
Yesterday Kadizzle worked hard in the dungeon. The dungeon project is an attempt to make useful space out of the crawl space. Kadizzle wants to have an eight foot ceiling for an area 10 x 25. That means excavating the floor for about three feet. The effort would be bad enough if it was simply dirt, but no there are boulders the size of Kadizzle, and they weigh more. The project reminds Kadizzle of the men who tried to dig tunnels out of German prisoner camps.
Kadizzle got news from Hazen two old crazy men went on to Jesus. Steve was about as crazy as one human could accomplish. Rumor was his wife had oil wells, and Steve's job was to find crazy ways to rid them of the money. Kadizzle could tell endless stories about him, but will stick to one. Steve made a replica of the Lewis and Clark boat out of old lumber. The boat was displayed by the highway during the centennial. Steve got the strange notion to drive the boat down main street for the parade. He put his four wheeler under the boat and somehow rigged up the contraption to move. However, typical of Steve there was no way to see when he drove the boat. Kadizzle just remembered the name he always called Steve. The name was Colonel Klink, or just Klink.
Klink needed someone to act as if they were steering the boat. Klink asked Kadizzle. Down main street the boat went with Kadizzle the captain whispering to Klink which way to turn. Klink liked recognition, and was disappointed to find the float was accredited to Kadizzle when the parade was over. Poor old Klink, he had built the boat, driven it down mainstreet, and got no recognition. Kadizzle told people it was Klink's accomplishment. Wait, another Klink story. One day Klink who liked to salvage anything took on the job of moving a garage. Klind backed his old grain truck under the garage, jacked it up and drove the garage back to his house. Again a strange object appeared to move on it's own.
OK, crazy man two. Alvin Shied was a famous eccentric man who rode an old bicycle about town. Alvin was a hoarder of the worst sort and his yard was a mess. When Kadizzle was judge in Hazen a neighbor complained and Alvin came before Kadizzle. Alvin informed judge Kadizzle that he had no authority in Hazen, because he was not born there. Kadizzle found Alvin guilty and told him to clean up his yard. Alvin said he would go to the judge in the next town over and have things his way.
Alvin was frugal. Alvin was famous for showing up at the gas station at the end of the day to get the free hot dogs they were going to throw away from the cooker. Another favorite lunch for Alvin was the funeral lunch. Alvin attended a lot of funerals. Kadizzle often told people he shared the funeral sports coat with Alvin.
Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. These men lived lives people will remember. They did not know they were desperate.
All this makes Kadizzle think of his banker friend who is as cheap as they come. Once when banker was coming to Arizona he called Kadizzle to ask where there was a thrift shop in Payson. Banker needed blue jeans. Kadizzle ribbed him about how cheap he was. Banker explained that when his family had a funeral they all exchanged clothes including the dead man's. Banker showed Kadizzl the nice shoes he got from the last relative that went on to Jesus. Banker went on to explain to Kadizzle that you could look in the local thrift store a few weeks after someone your size died and find some nice cloths. This gave Kadizzle and Banker and idea. Why not publish your clothing sizes in the obituary? Kadizzle died today with a size 10.5 shoe. Still some wear left.
No comments:
Post a Comment