Social life among the mobile.

One nice thing about traveling is 99% of the people you meet are friendly and helpful. Almost without fail when the Kadizzilites pull into a new area and set camp we soon meet some nice people and fellow travelers. The majority of people living a mobile life are retired and their goal is to enjoy life. If anyone appears to be having a problem soon they are surrounded by people with lots of advice, tools, and willingness to help.
If you want information, there is just about always someone who knows the area and will give you some good tips about how to get there and where to stay. One nice thing that happens once in a while is people break out instruments and have an informal musical get together.
In no time a lot of these people become good friends and you may end up going down the road with them. We have often invited people to visit us in North Dakota, and a couple have taken us up on in. Last fall we visited some people we met last year at their bed and breakfast in Canada.
A special group of people we meet are those from other countries exploring our country. It is fun to find out what their impression of the United States is. Often it is eye opening. A couple days ago we me a guy from Sweden. He loved our public lands. Most Europeans are amazed how in the United States there are millions of acres where anyone can just park and camp for free. Traveling is always educational and meeting people is one of the best ways to educate yourself

We are ready when they attack

Currently we are camped at Usery Park, North of Mesa. It is a very nice park, with a nice view, and nice facilities. One major problem the gun nuts are about a half mile away on the other side of the road. Yesterday gun fire was going wild. They must have a shoot an athirst thing or something special on Sunday. Having the peace and quiet interuppted by machine gun fire on Sunday just doesn't seem right in Amarika. Kadizzle was listening to the wonderful music of gun shots and trying to calculate how much it cost to fire a round every second for eight hours a day. At fifty cents a round that comes out to about $1,800 per hour. That is a small price to pay for being safe. Just about everyone and their grandmother now has a concealed weapons permit. When we were in Quartzite at the idiots convention last week you could get a concealed weapons permit in about two hours for 35 states. The gun fire has slowed a little as I sit here, but any moment the machine gun may roar. I saw an old gieser in the health food store with a 45 strapped to his side. Don't sell him any bad lettuce.

Third assault of Signal Peak fails, but nice hike anyway.

The Kadizzlites got off to a good start. To make it to the top the first part of the hike was around the base of the mountain and into a canyon. On the satellite photos it appeared there was a way to the top.

After walking for miles across the desert we reached the mouth of the canyon. Once inside the canyon the size of the mountains seemed to grow immensely. After about a half mile carefully picking our way over boulders it was time to go up. To Kadizzle's amazement The Commander agreed there was no way we could make it to the top and back in one day. Indeed there were several routes to the top. You could see where the big horn sheep had done it, but it was a long way.

Inside the canyon was a huge bowl. The real mystery on the whole hike were the large rocks moved by the streams. The only way the rocks could be moved was by water, but their size made it hard to believe. Rain rarely hits these mountains, but when it does it must create incredible torrents of water. The bowl in the canyon is like a giant funnel. You would not want to be in that canyon during a downpour.

Good sleep in the desert.

The Earth Module team slept well in the desert, no noise, no lights, and no one within miles. Today The Commander will conduct our third assault on Signal Peak. Because The Commander suffers from hyper activity, she had to do some scouting by herself. The Commander thinks she may found a good route. Other than the wind it should be a perfect day. The top of the mountain pictured below is the goal. We will take off to the right of the base and try to find a stream bed that is not too steep.

Our New Home

The Commander is much happier in our new location. The Commander found a big horn sheep skull and is delighted. The Earth module has moved about 15 miles south of Quarzite. The quiet and beauty here are 180 degrees from the insane circus in Quartzite. The air is better, it is a whole different world. The Commander is excited about another assault on the mountain tomorrow. The sunset was spectacular.

Our Career as LED salesmen has ended.

Today the Kadizzles ended the 7 day stint selling LED lights. The Commander could not take the crowds, the dust, and the noise any longer. Now that is off our bucket list. We hooked up the Earth Module and moved about 15 miles south to the Kofa National Wildlife Refuge. Kofa is like another world. Now the module faces an incredible view with no one in site. The Commander is jumping at the chance to hike. The wind is a little strong, so perhaps tomorrow we will hike

One lesson learned from selling LEDs is the number of people poor, or broke by choice. If people made a few intelligent choices in their life about what they needed and what they did not they would not suffer from lack of income. However, when you see how easily vendors part people from their money with some useless item, it is clear why so many people are broke. People cannot separate what they need from some shiny item they think they want. Every busted flat person has a tattoo, a vanity license plate, several T Shirts with silly slogans, an earring or two, a couple of piercings, and a rat dog. Kadizzle met two guys making a fortune at this slummers paradise show who were dog hygienist. These guys were living the good life cleaning dogs teeth. The silly owners could not afford to clean their own teeth, but paid a small fortune to have the teeth of their dog cleaned.

Some vendors at the show go to Costco, buy an inventory, take it to the show, double the price, and what does not sell they take back to Costco. Does it get any better than that?

So many Americans think that if you have money left over at the end of a show, or at the end of the month you did something wrong. You need more fribbles, or a bigger truck.

The Humphfels come and the Humphfels go.

What in the hell is a Humphfel? The Commander, and Kadizzle have taken to calling the large 40ft RV's Humphfels. Some how it fits. These big lumbering giants that are the American dream look like elephants with wheels going to the watering hole. It all started way back in the late sixties with Winnabago. Every old fart wanted to retire get a Humphfel and live the dream. The origional Humphfel drivers always wore jumpsuits. You knew you hit the good life when you could come out of your Humphfel in a silver jump suit. The beauty of the jump suit was it had an elastic band around the waist. The old fart who worked all his life with his belly constrained by a belt was in heaven.

In the spot where the Earth Module is parked we have had several wagon trains of Humphels come in and form a circle. In their secure mode the people put a campfire in the middle and have a great time. Yesterday it was like all the Bison migrated. We came back from work and the place was empty. Now the Humphfes are slowly migrating back.

Humphfels are noisy beast, they consume a lot of diesel fuel and electricity, so even when they are not moving the Humphfels sit there and sweat stinky fumes. A Humphfel owner takes pride in suffering no inconvenience. TV's are a must, they may even have one one the outside. You must never be too far from a TV in the United States if you are prosperous.

Humphfels like to mark their tribes. In the old days they would put up some sort of flag, but this year the new thing is for a tribe of Humphfels to have a strip of LED that change color on a long pole. This marks their territory and gives them great pride. The Commander and Kadizzle can sell you a programmable strip with the pole for 200 dollars.

Nowadays all the Humphfels have slide outs. That means when they stop they get bigger. You know how a cow kind of looks bigger when it is on the ground. Humphfels try to show their size as part of their mating ritual.

When the typical Humphfel nest there are two rituals. First there will be a huge fight between the male and female occupant about parking the thing. As Willy backs up he will shout at Martha and you will swear a divorce is only minutes away. After they get set up, put the awning out and the carpet, and have a drink they will settle down for awhile. The second ritual will be Willy polishing the Humphfel. If you did not know better you would think that was the reason they bought it so they could polish it. Humphfel owners love to polish.

One thing you would think is that a Humphfel would be a brave beast, but the reality is they are very timid. The nest in groups, and seldom get off the pavement. Often they travel in groups for protection. They do migrate south in the winter and slowly move back north in the summer.

Kadizzle got his palm read free. Shoot the guy for a refund

At some point just about every kind of nut will appear at our LED booth. A strange lady was looking over the little LED book lights we sell. Kadizzle asked what she wanted it for and she said she was a palm reader, so Kadizzle said read mine. According to her interpretation Kadizzle will live a long time. However, the line that indicates direction for life was not there. That seems to explain how Kadizzles mind wanders constantly.

Another product we are pushing is an LED motion detector. The little gadget will turn on a light if someone approaches your RV. Kadizzle has a special promotion. The light makes it a lot easier to see someone trying to steal your generator. Our special offer is that if you buy our motion detector and shoot the guy stealing your generator because our light helped you catch him, we will pay for the bullet. Just bring in the empty shells.

The less you need something the more it cost. Our most expensive item is an LED string of lights at the top of a 23ft pole. The lights change colors randomly. Yes, you can announce to the world where you are for only $200. If you need a cheaper way to get some bling we have flashing lights like you see on a police car for thirty dollars.

I paid a higher tax rate than Mitt Romney

Mitt Romney made 45 million and paid a tax rate of 13%. I need to make more so I can pay less. I paid 14%. Looks like I need to make only 1,000 times more to get my taxes reduced. Tax breaks for the rich yea.

The American Appetite for trash

Selling snake oil did not go out of style in the 1800's. Kadizzle and The Commander are now embarked in their new career selling LED lights at the biggest RV show on the planet. Eight hours of people marching by begging to get their pockets cleaned with every type of health care fraud, 19.95 gadget, and silly fribble you can imagine. When you see what people are willing to buy you can see why so many Americans are broke. Some simple minded dinger who lives in a shack will by an electric fly swatter. A major product sold here is rocks, call them minerals if you want. When you are broke the last thing you need is a sparkling rock, but that is what the dingers buy sell and trade.

There is always some product that will solves some problem you never knew you had. Put some magnets in your shows, shock your back a little bit. You are healed. To make sure you need to be healed there is every type of the sorriest food on the planet. Rat meat sandwiches, deep fried skunk butts, sponges soaked in grease.

Only at an idiots convention will you get something free for three easy payments of 19.95. If you cannot afford to cloth and feed yourself, then you need a dog. Pet gadgets that pick up the pet hair in your double wide are popular. On it goes with hucksters making sure the poor stay poor.

A strange site indeed

Sitting in the same spot for about a week we had some neighbors to the West of us. Two truck campers had been there for a few days. Like most places people visit you find out who you are sharing the area with. So Kadizzle decided to make the customary introduction. The people living in the two truck campers did not seem to be in the best of economic conditions. After talking to them for a little bit they explained that they were buying minerals, rocks, whatever to take back to their home town and sell.

Kadizzle has seen some badly scared people in his life, but one of the two bearded men sitting by the truck campers seemed to have suffered from some strange malady Kadizzle has never seen before. The poor man had no nose. It appeared he had lost his nose from some bizarre accident, or some sort of vicious cancer. There was no question the poor man knew the effect his face would have on people. Looking directly into a person's sinuses was one of the strangest sights Kadizzle has ever seen. There was a small piece of bone, but what was strangest of all was the total blackness inside this mans head, as if it were charcoal or burnt.

The Commander came over to join the conversation. The man certainly knew the effect his face would have on her. He sort of turned away from her and covered his face. She did not see what Kadizzle saw. The whole thing made you feel very sorry for the man. What could he do? In public it would be very embarrassing. It would be hard to imagine how any kind of plastic surgery could work.

Walking back to our camper I thought about the women in Afghanistan. It is not uncommon for men there to cut the nose off a woman they feel has demeaned the family. To read about it is one thing, but to see first hand what it would be like is entirely different.

Could this man have lost his nose to cancer? The whole crew he was with were heavy smokers. If cancer did this to this man there could be no better add anywhere to stop people from tobacco. It was a tragedy that will not be forgotten.

Another hard hike today

Kadizzle thought we got it out of our system yesterday, but The Commander was raring to go today, so we blasted back up into the mountains. This is the satellite view of where we went. The blue line on the left is where The Commander returned from the top of the mountain. The Commander claims she found an Indian site right where you see the sharp mark on the far left.

A peek at Signal Peak

Things always look simple on the map. You just drive down this road turn on that road, and zippy do da there you are ready to start your hike. Yesterday the Kadizzlites made their assault on Signal Peak.

The first thing to do on a day with a long hard difficult hike is do a BDS. A BDS is Brain Dead Stupid. The Brain Dead Stupid thing we did before the main event was to visit Palm Canyon. We took a short hike up a canyon to see some rare palm trees that had managed to survive in a crevice. The reason this was BDS is because it wasted valuable hiking time that was needed for the main event. Lesson learned it is BDS to take a short hike when you have a long hard hike planned.

Now to the main event, the assault on signal peak. The gravel road leading to Signal Peak is seven miles long. It is one of those cleverly designed roads that just keeps getting worse and worse at such a gradual rate it keeps leading you on. The great part of these roads is if you have a wife like Jasper Littlebottom along. At some point Jasper will say "I don't think we should go any farther". Jasper will say this at ever more frequent intervals and with ever louder volume. At about 5.5 miles into the canyon Jasper was going pretty wild assuring Kadizzle the truck would be ruined. We pushed on to 6.8 and Kadizzle started to believe we may not be able to turn around and would indeed be stuck. So at 6.8 we got out and walked to the trail head.

As it always does it turned out as soon as we started walking on the road it got better we could have made it all the way. The road was one of those deals where you can just barely squeeze between two rocks, or you can just barely clear one big rock in the middle of the stream bed and of course you scratch the didly out of you truck trying to avoid rocks.

Finally at the start of the hike we had to scramble up a rocky stream bed. Next we start straight up the side of the mountain on loose rock, and then straight up some more. Since we had earlier eaten up precious time with our Brain Dead Stupid routine we now were about three quarter the way to the peak and it was about three in the afternoon. The trail seemed to be getting only worse and we had already encountered areas we had to cling to rocks and climb. The prudent thing to do was go back down. Coming off a mountain in the dark on marble rolling rocks is not a good idea. We made it down and both agreed it was a very scenic and nice area. Hopefully we have been vaccinated against BDS.

Hyper Activity among the elderly

Kadizzle's dear wife has always struggled with hyper activity. Fortunately Kadizzle has not had the affliction. Kadizzle can sit all day and watch paint dry, but Jasper Littlebottom has fire in the undies and has to get going. Today Littlebottom wants to hike up Signal Peak in Kofa National Wildlife refuge.

So as poor old Lord Kadizzle tried to awaken properly Littlebottom kept urging him to get out of bed. Because of sinus problems Kadizzle must get up slowly in five stages. Sinus draining means the head can only be raised about two inches at a time in the morning.

Once on the trail Littlebottom will be like a hunting dog fresh out of the kennel. She will be blasting down the trail at light speed as old diesel Kadizzle tries to get enough air to the engine to keep moving.

Now for the scary news. The rattlesnakes around here do not hibernate, so they will be out if it is warm. Last year not to far from here Kadizzle had his closest encounter with one. Kadizzle crawled down between two large boulders to join the company of a rattler waiting to taste his tender cheeseburger meat.

An Unbelievalbe march to the dump.

The Earth Module is parked close enough to interstate ten that Kadizzle can hear the truck traffic. Laying in bed listening to trucks all night one wonders where the trucks are heading, and what they are hauling? Then it occurred to Kadizzle that everything those trucks haul ultimately ends up in the dump. We are an unbelievable nation of consumers. Interstate ten is just a small arty of the highway system hauling junk. Huge container ships from China bring fribbles across the Pacific. Tons of stuffed animals make their way to Wall Mart. It takes billions of gallons of fuel to get all the 19.95 items from some poor village in China to Aunt Gertie.
To the North a train load of crap snakes across the country every 15 minutes with the new flat screen Tv's. Every television in the United States had to be replaced with a flat screen. Well over 200 million cell phones will be thrown out this year and the new ones are on the way down the road.
There is little doubt in my mind we will overwhelm the ability of the planet to support us. We are a cancer on the Earth. When you drive down the road and see one passenger in a six ton vehicle going to get a pack of cigarettes three miles away, you know it is hopeless. Don't get Kadizzle wrong, we are as good at wasting crap as the next guy. Sitting here with those trucks just constantly humming hauling all that shit that fills Wall Mart just makes it seem like it is impossible for people to be consuming nonsense at such a rate. When you get to the shopping center and see shopping carts draped with six packs of faticide. Humongus lumpers filling the carts with cheetoes, (Lord Kadizzle is a humongus lumper) you need to think of a constant stream of trucks hauling George Forman grills to cook the cheeseburgers. You need to think of all the crap that you just pitched out as packaging at Christmas. How much crap do we need?

Quarzite

People used to say that if you turned the United States on end everything that is loose would roll to California. As The Commander and Lord Kadizzle spend their first night in Quartzite, maybe that phrase should be changed. If the United States were a funnel everything that was lose would roll out the bottom and land in Quartzite.
Quartzite has the quality of an ongoing carnival. Every concievalbe thing is for sale. Every babble, all the expired groceries, and anything Wall Mart left in the dumpster is on sale for half price. If you need something for an RV someone is selling it. If it was ever invented for an Rv it is for sale.
The main event will start Saturday. That will be the day the Big Tent opens. The Big Tent is for the special pocket cleaning. The tent is about two blocks long and full of vendors.
There are three basic classes of camping. You can get the whole hookup routine for thirty bucks a night. If you dry camp close to the main event it is 7 bucks for dry camping. For 3 bucks a night you can stay on BLM land that is within a mile or two. If you are ultra cheap the desert is endless for free. To be close to our jobs the Earth Module is in a 7 dollar place.
No TV signal seems to want to penetrate into this vast sea of RV's. So there will be a lot of internet time. When this show goes full steam there could be between 150 and 200,000 people here buying crap no one really needs. The ultimate thing you will never need is a rock. However, every rock God ever invented is here by the truck load. There are some very interesting things made from minerals, and rock, and there are some very interesting rocks to look at. Stay tuned for tomorrows report after we have sent the peddal powered rovers out to find the best price on expired groceries.

Major Move for the Earth Module scheduled today.

As the sun tries to peek through the clouds and the desert smells fresh from the rain the crew of the Earth Module is preparing for blast off. Fossil fuels have been topped off, the ballast has to be dumped, and new supplies of water have to be loaded. There is enough food on board for nine days in the desert.
The goal is to save the universe by selling LED lights at the largest RV gathering on Earth. In Quarzite the tribes will gather for a huge mineral show, and swap meet. The Kadizzlelites will be helping a vendor sell LED that will enable you to extend your time off the power grid by a factor of seven.
Pictured above is one of the old wild horses that roam the desert around here. Apparently when horse owners get in a bind they just let their horse lose in the desert. There must be a least twenty of them around here. Birth control may be in their future after they figure out how to do it. Getting them to take the pills on schedule may present some problems. They refuse to use more conventional methods and there are rumors a lot of the horses are Catholic.

The Commander has a Birthday

Without The Commander to manage every aspect of his life Kadizzle would be lost. Ofter when left alone Kadizzle can be seen wandering in circles without the leadership of The Commander.

As if The Commander were not valuable enough to the expedition she now has become much more valuable. With a 62 year old Commander the warranty is just about expired, but there is a big bonus. Once you inform the government your leader has turned the magical age of 62 the goberment, which we all hate, will send you a check equal to half your social security check. Perhaps it will be even more.

This is clearly socialism, and it is terrible, but the grocery store does not know that the money is coming from the communist regime of Obama, and we don't tell them.

It turns out a lot of people who hate socialism are secretly taking money from Obama to help destroy capitalism. Why work when you can get free money in the mail and travel the southwest.

The birthday party was a big success. The Commander got to eat Thia food, and Myra made a good desert with ice cream.

A Flurry of activity at the News desk

Slowly the sun comes over the Goldfield mountains and shines in the window of the Earth Module. In the desert North of Mesa Kadizzle and The Commander eventually crawl out from under the comforters that protected them from the 38 degree cold in the module. After the generator is started and the coffee is going the computers begin to hum. At the news desk the Bismarck Tribune has to be checked to see if the Hoopleheads need to be fought into submission. The New York Times has to be checked to get the party line. The Huffington post needs to be pursued to see how well Colbert, Bill Maher, and John Stewart are shooting up the Hoopleheads. After Facebook, and email, the world is falling into place. Of course during all this NPR is going in the background. By 9:30 the Kadizzlites should be reasonably up to date.

Now, it is time for the second cup of coffee. The Commander is going berserk because the New York Times has cut her off. Slowly the camp is coming to life. The generators are humming to warm up all the old goats. By now Bud has the fire going at the liars den. Decision time is approaching. How should we spend the day? Will The Commander have a forced march into the Goldfield Mountains? Will it be a day of leisure or a day getting ready for the next big move to Quartzite. Only time will tell. First on today's agenda is to investigate the rumor a mountain lion with a cub is roaming the area.

No doubt the "Horse Lady" will appear. The horse lady worries about the wild horses and thinks she is their guardian angel. Every day the horse lady observes what the horses are doing. Now the horse lady has two problems, the mountain lion might get her, and of course there is the regular problem. The regular problem is the mysterious cult, or perhaps the Indians that are killing the horses. Horse lady has found some strange ritual sites that my be a horse killing, ritual doing cult. On the other hand now that Obama has made horse meat legal, yup every problem goes back to Obama, people are killing the horses and selling the horse meat steaks.

So the sun comes up and the day unfolds. Axe handle's medication seems to be working. The Republicans are shooting each other, so all is well in the universe. Soon The Commander will bark out the orders for the day, but for now she is calmly sitting in from of her mini laptop content to surf the net, so Kadizzle will have his second cup of coffee and sign off. Have a good day.

Axe Handle Returns

The Earth Module has been sitting in the same spot for ten days. The little community is made up of The Editor, a single lady who edits books from her RV. She did the editing for the guy who wrote "The Turning Point". Diana is down in the corner by the camp host.
To the North is Johnny, his wife and the two big fifth wheels from Michigan. That gang did a little musical yesterday. Outside they picked away while Johnny played the electronic piano.
Bud is down in the NW corner with his replacement for his wife that died last year. Anita, Bud's new companion has produced 14 children. Anita has been having some kidney issues, with kidney stones.
Stan pulled in today while were hiking with Ruth and Rodger. Stan has a manure spreader that has been converted to a pretty nice camper for one single guy. The spreader part of the truck now carries a truck camper well equipped with solar.
The old lumber road builder is here with his wife who has had some recent cancer surgery. One big luxurious diesel Pusher is a little to the west.
Now, we get to Axe Handle. Axe handle was here last year and they had to have him forcibly removed. Seems Axe Handle does not like to pay the required fees and has a habit of threatening people. The story is up at Pebble Beach, the next campground up the river, Axe Handle was irritated by a motorcycle guy buzzing in and out of his area. Axe Handle carries an axe handle with him when he isn't taking his medications. Axe Handle had a simple solution for the annoying motorcycle. When the cyclist went by Axe Handle shoved the axe handle into his spokes. This cause a bit of a wreck as the cyclist went flying over his handle bars. Unfortunately when the law enforcement people showed up the cyclist would not press charges against Mr. Handle.

Yesterday he showed up and The Commander along with Kadizzle were not to happy about having a mental case nearby. However, something inspired Axe Handel to leave, much to our delight. Today Axe Handle came lumbering in pulling his fifth wheel. He seems in a jolly mood. Whatever he is taking is working. The camp host have assured us he is not a problem.

The camp host said if we want to get rid of him, smoke him out. Apparently he cannot stand generator smoke or fire smoke. The trick is to get up wind and give him a good dose of smoke.

Life in the Earth Module

Poor old fat Lord Kadizzle has come down with the double epizootic. Lost with no energy Kadizzle is unable to do much but rest. Meanwhile, The Commander and the Axtamans are hiking a very nice trail. The transition from North Dakota back to the 70's would be perfect were it not for this wrenched epizootic. Ask Kadizzle any news question, Kadizzle has been listening to NPR non-stop for four hours.

The module is back in our favorite old spot on the Salt River. It would be a typical summer day back in ND. If the epizootic does not loosen it's grip The Commander and Kadizzle will bury Kadizzle in the desert nearby.