The Garden in Full Glory

Ozan, Lord Kadizzle and the Commander survive

Its been many years since his Lordship played a good round of dare to be stupid, but last night was a fine session. The key to a good round of dare to be stupid is starting with a bad situation. That way you can make it worse.

So in already high winds we headed west. With no more than a storm jib the boat was moving down the lake like a bullet. Kadizzle was luckily stopped by the crew from putting up the mainsail. As a cold front bore in from the west the boat was on a reach at over hull speed headed right into a terrible storm. To make it better we were trolling for lightening. To the southwest lighting was striking and of course we were headed right toward it.

The crew had little faith in the captain and insisted he did not know where Whitmeyer bay was. However, the captain turned out to be correct and the boat made it into the bay. As everyone was settled with the boat on anchor things seemed ok. The storm had a different idea. All of a sudden an already high wind increased to seventy or eighty mph. As Ozan tried to help with the Anchor his glasses were blown off by the wind. The boat came loose and the normal Chinese fire drill ensued. We survived by driving the boat onto the shore and pinning it down with trailer anchors. The video above was the ride back the next day. The boat set a new speed record of 9.2 knots. Amazingly this was done with only the storm jib. The smallest amount of sail the Sovereign can carry.

Far easier to talk to God, but Kadizzle has revenge for Verizon

A lot of frustration ensued today trying to reset our password on the Verizon system. Weaving my way back and forth fighting computer phone systems and people who sent me back to computer phone systems just about drove me over the brink. Why can't they have the first option be " Would a human being be able to solve your problem easier" press one. I think the next time I talk to human on a computer phone system and they ask me a question I will say "press one to say yes, or press two to say no". I will make them answer all my questions with key strokes.

Johny Appleseed removes Apple Tree

Summer in the land of Kadizzle is quite pleasant lately. Everything is exceptionally green. Today's big project was removing the stump from the apple tree. Apple trees are very tenacious. Lord Kadizzles technique is slow, but as they say Rome was not built in a day. My tool is a six ton hydraulic jack. For a tree its size I have seen few trees put up such a fight. The process took several hours in the hottest day in a long time.

One never knows how many pies were left in that tree. It is sort of like sending a car to the junkyard with gas in the tank. Mowing will be easier. With the bad economy we put a couple of twenty dollar bills in the hole in hopes that a money tree will sprout.

2009 Summer Sailstice Photo Gallery - Photo 1 of 14 by Rick - MySpace Photos

2009 Summer Sailstice Photo Gallery - Photo 1 of 14 by Rick - MySpace Photos

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The fleet back in Berthhold Bay

Everyone had a great sail and a great evening back in Berthold Bay. It was the first time in eight years we could get into the old traditional spot. Swam, had a camp fire the whole nine yards. Mrs. Kadizzle A.K. A. The Commander stayed home and gardened, but David Mack and two year old Audrey along with her mom Amanda made the trip. Audrey was a good sailor. Good sail home on Sunday. This Saturday the fleet will gather there again to celebrate Summer Sailstice. Anyone who can get there is welcome by land or sea. The more the merryer.

The staggers and jags

Yesterday Lord Kadizzle and a friend who has requested to remain anonymous launched one more boat for a friend. As a reward the friend gave us a bottle of gin. Not a good idea. After the launch we settled on the deck of the Sovereign for a little social with the neighboring house boat. It was a pleasant sunny day with good conversation. However when we left the spirits were gone, and perhaps we were a little over served as they say. We had the staggers and jags. Stan Rogers in one of my favorite songs Barrette's Privateers mentions the staggers and jags.

" The Antelope sloop was a sickening sight,
HOW I WISH I WAS IN SHERBROOKE NOW!
She'd a list to the port and and her sails in rags
And the cook in scuppers with the staggers and the jags

	Twitching, loss of balance and motor skills, and hallucinations caused by intense alcohol abuse; technical term is delirium tremens. 1. "And the cooks cleaned the kitchen with the staggers and the jags." -- Gillian Welch & David Rawlings 2. The barfly barely made it to the restroom through the staggers and jags.

Definition of "the staggers and jags"

The Amazing Hoopleheads vote against Air

Lord Kadizzle lives in a state dominated by hoopleheads both on the state and local level. The hoopleheads philosophy is when in doubt just vote or say no. Yesterday the hooples in our town voted against having natural gas in our town. Even though every hoople could save five hundred dollars per year in heating cost the hooples voted it down. How can this be? Hooples don't get information like you and I might. The hooples get most of their information at the bar or the coffee shop. Urban legends, rumors, and myths flourish with drunks and old geezers having coffee. The fundamental thing of a hoople is that "If it is different it must be bad". Hooples like their meat burnt, they don't like seasoning, and any word that has more than six letters is probably a conspiracy. On the state level the hooples just removed any requirements for teaching your children at home. This will insure a fresh supply of hooples. However, the hooples upped the requirement for message therapist and now require both licensing and additional training. You can be dumb as hell in North Dakota, but a least you will get a good back rub. Any Questions.

There Must be a God

Merrily Lord Kadizzle has been cutting the grass for the last hour. The Bible says "Two sparrows are sold for a penny, aren't they? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground without your Father's permission. . It was not a sparrow, but a young Robin. Paying little attention I was going about my grass cutting when for some reason I happened to look down. Instantly I stopped three inches from a young robin that must have just left the nest. Three inches and that poor fellow would have known the feeling of going through a jet engine like the birds on the Hudson did when they brought down the Airbus.

The fact that at the last instant I managed to see the bird felt like the intervention of the divine. Unfortunately God must have been watching TV yesterday. I pushed the mower under the neighbors cedar tree and bird parts flew everywhere. My assumption was I had hit the carcass of a bird killed by cats. However, today I am haunted that I may have hit the sibling of the fellow saved today. The moral of the story is God acts in strange ways.

Wood Ducks March to creek at Kadizzle's

The neighbors in our area have gone to great lengths to raise Wood Ducks. So every spring about fifty new ducks get hatched. Both neighbors have cameras in the wood duck houses so they can see the entire process

Myan Calander still in use in Mercer County.

At the fine Marina where I store my boat one signs a contract that requires Lord Kadizzle to have his boat out of the storage lot by May 15. Due to the fact the the docks where I keep my boat were not ready my boat could not go in the water until June 8th. The owner of the storage lot, and marina where my boat is stored explained to me there are two months between May 15, and June 3, the date I put my boat in the water. So instead of paying one month's late fee the man of infinite integrity with a cross in his front yard wants me to pay him for the Mayan month of Cashaflowa which runs from May 15 to the end of May, and the Julian Calander of June, which in his infinite Christian magnanamous way he refuses to prorate. Perhaps I was wrong about the cross in his yard and it was a left over remnant from a Klan barbeque.

Grandpa Ticklepinch

Old Grandpa Ticklepinch got his boat in the water yesterday. Took a brief sail to the other side of the lake. Summer has finally dawned in the great northwest.

The Good Life

Lord Kadizzle and her ladyship the Commander attended our nephew's reception dinner at The Country Club of Virginia last night. Kadizzle engaged one of the fine gentleman serving cigars in a conversation about the economy. He pointed out things were not that bad. The cigarilio suggested Lord Kadizzle cast his gaze upon the new twelve million dollar swimming complex just provided for the comfort of the members. There were a total of five full size pools for every need. It was indeed a marvelous complex. In our little town of Kadizzleville we struggle to fund a small wellness center. It brings Kadizzle comfort to know the lord is just, and none of his children needs are ignored.

The Ticklepinch

Somehow everyone ends up with a nickname. The families newest addition has been christened Ticklepinch. Nick names have always proliferated with Lord Kadizzle. Molly up the street has always been Doodlebug. Her brother is J for Johnson, or just J For. His name comes from an old commercial. My name is Johnson, J for Johnson, not j for jelly, not j for Jones, but J for Johnson. Charlie was always forced to repeat this name under the threat of being tickled when he was little. Charly's cousin ended up with the name Him. Him is a her, but became Him because she always called everyone Him. She would say "What is Him doing" or "Does Him want to play?". Now the big brother and little brother up the street are Biscuit and Gravy. Gravy has been a little sick lately, and his little brother always reports on Gravy's health. The wild Mannies lived behind us. There were four boys. It was too combersome to give each a nickname, so they were all just wild Mannies. The little boy behind us was adopted from Chile, so he became the Chile Bean. His sister was Natilie Jean, so she became Natilie Jean the dancing Queen. Danny Donovan became Donavichi. Of course Lord Kadizzles own kids have a host of nicknames that goes on for ever depending on the stage of life. Megan has been The Pie Monkey, Bumsker, Bumskidini, Chi Chi, and Cheech. Erin has been Jones, The Snoocher Bear, and just plane snooch.

Fun things to read today

Wow, read the NYT editorials today. If you are an old hard core right winger you can make coffee with the steam that will shoot out your ears. Between Rumsfield and Cheney it is hard to decide who out does the other for being the ultimate evil scum. Of course those on the right will have some kind of self delusional spin. If you have some spin to explain how all the crap Rummy and Darth Vader pulled, please share it.

Our spoiled children

Every time Lord Kadizzle meets a young person from abroad the thought hits him "How can American kids compete". Compared to foreign students our children are so lazy and far behind it is amazing the U.S. still has a place in the world. Most of the young American kids I know are off on a lark. They have graduated from high school and are going to spend a couple years surfing or learning to play the guitar while they work as a waiter. When you ask so many American kids what they are going to do the first reply is be a star athlete. We had five boys that lived next to us and everyone of them was going to be a champion hocky player. I know at least five kids who had athletic careers fizzle out on them quickly. While they are learning to be champions they study sports massage in college or some other useless skill. Meanwhile the foriegn students are studing engineering, science, and math. Our school system is hopelessly behind, and our kids have no concept of what it is to study and concentrate. I was a terrible student. Somehow I made it, but I was not competing for a job with someone from India, Turkey, or some other country where people study and learn, thank god or I would have starved. Without exception every foreign student I meet speaks at least two languages. Most of them speak and write better English than the kids in our local high school.

I want to hug and kiss this woman

The Family that surfs together stays together

Wanda Sykes cooks Limbaugh Hanity You will pee your pants

Rush and Hanity go down in flames at National Press Club, check out this link and watch the video, be prepared to pee your pants laughing.

What a piece of work, The North Dakota Legislature

This morning Kadizzle read through the laws the legislature passed this year. Unbelievable. Now, you can home school your kids with no supervision or education requirements. Kadizzle has seen first hand how fundamentalist abuse the home schooling system to exploit their children, this is a crime against children committed by our elected representatives. Next on the agenda is a law that limits a young pregnant girls access to healthcare for her unborn. You figure that one out. The best is the law that people seeking an abortion must be shown an ultrasound and told that it is a real person inside them. What did they think it was a watermellon? Of course these idiots have to pander to the gun lobby by making sure more people can carry guns in more places. Why not do the full monty like Utah and make it so you can carry a gun to church? What better way to fight the devil. As usual they had to put in some special breaks for farmers, and big donors to the Republican party. They rejected and help for young childrens health care because it might lead to socialism. These old goats are the cancer that is killing our state and the paranoid Limbaughlites who vote for them are leading to the demise of any hope for our state.