Lake is Coming Up

Hopefully we can spend the weekend on the lake. All the rain in the past couple of days has brought the lake up. It looks like it may hit 1814 soon. That is the level above sea level. In the good old days the lake hit 1854. It does make a difference. To get back in the nice bays you need about 1835. Still some final little items to do on the boat, but generally the Sovereign is provisioned and ready to go.

Vision Quest

Using special equipment Lord Kadizzle nightly leaves the Earth and goes on a vision quest. Once in contact with the voices revelations abound. Lord Kadizzle has decided to be buried with headphones on. The Commander can still tell him what to do, and he will be able to listen to public radio.

The Good Ship is launched

After much cleaning, and sending Pat up to the top of the mast the good ship hit the water yesterday. Since Her Lordship is now retired and available to clean, the boat went into the water in bristol shape.

Hoppee and The Commander

During a magic part of the day, Lord Kadizzle turns into Hoppee. When the commander gets up she tells Hoppee to "Make some Coffee". Sometimes The Commander doesn't even get up as you can see above. Her Lordship choose to read in bed this morning. Hoppee was summoned to her side and told, as usual, "Get me some coffee, and don't forget the cream!". Hoppee scurries off to the kitchen stricken with fear that The Commander may turn him into a turnip. Until the clock gets to nine the orders fly fast and furious. Get the paper, bring me some water, turn on NPR, turn off the TV, clean up this mess, more coffee. Around nine Hoppie takes a shower, and turns back into Lord Kadizzle.

Making the country safe for Democracy

I remember back during the Vietnam war, when we were bombing the hell out of them. Someone asked a soldier what he was doing, he replied "Making the country safe for democracy". Sometimes it takes a lot of explosives to make a place safe for democracy. It looks like today is going to be an overcast, boring day, so I need a reason to go on living. So my mission today will be to make the country safe for democracy. This will first entail unloading the milk truck from Bismarck for Daryl. When Elmer leaves to work on the potato planting project, I have to fill in as substitute milk man. You might think democracy involves diplomacy and such, but to me it means making sure people have potatoes and milk. When times were simpler people would go to war over potatoes and milk. Brave men like myself, and Elmer have eliminated wars related to food shortages. After we have solved the world hunger problem it will be time to educate ourselves, which means a trip to the post office. I am going to sneak up to my P.O. Box and peak in the little window. If there is a letter in there from the IRS, I will slip out the door unnoticed. On the other hand if the box is full of interesting stuff, like credit card offers, we are off to the races.

By the time all of this is done, I will have the whole afternoon to make the world safe for democracy. However, if the Commander gets hold of me democracy could involve cleaning toilets. Yes, freedom means being free from germs. This project could involve chemical warfare, so I may have to suit up as we say. One thing I like about this project is I get to see where my dreams went.

GEORGE BUSH SPEECH WRITER - THE FUNNEST THING I HAVE SEEN

Today's video

El Cumbanchero, What are your kids doing?

Watch these kids play. What could kids do if you actually worked with them?

Border sealed against illegal imagrants.

Illegal immigrants have been finding work picking vegetables in The Commander's garden. In past years, many of these illegals simply slipped under the fence. After much public outcry, a new garden border initative was formulated. Immigration authorities now feel border crossings will decrease. These illegals in their fur covered suits were robbing our economy by sneaking across the border and harvesting green beans and lettuce. Some thought was given to shooting them on site, however protesters stopped that plan. The new fence was put up using American labor. The Commander gave a speech on the back porch with many dignitaries in attendance including Lord Kadizzle. In her speech, the commander said the cost of vegetables will come down as the supply increases. Asked who will weed the garden now that the illegals are being kept out, The Commander refused to answer, but did stare right at Lord Kadizzle. Rumor has it Lord Kadizzle has been spotted in the garden pulling weeds singing "I am a fat wetback working for a snack". Such is life in the Land of Kadizzle

Commander runs a tight ship

For hours we cleaned and cleaned on the good ship yesterday. I thought it would be in the water by now, but as things now stand North Dakota is not protected by a Navy. Her Lordship has never approved of the way I keep house, so she scraped and polished every little nook and cranny. We are trying a minimalist approach to boating this year. We have taken everything off the boat, and put back only what we truly need. Undoubtedly this will mean that there will be some crises and the captain will say, "If I only had a thingamajig, I could fix this". Well, for years we have been carrying hundreds of pounds of thingamajigs, and never needed them.

Lord Kadizzle is not qualified to work on the interior, which really breaks his heart, so he was sentenced to clean up the waterline. This may sound simple, but it required sanding sixty eight feet of waterline. A passerby, and oftime critic (Bill Butcher) noted that the hull never looked so good. I would agree, and Bill did not even see the boat after I had polished the prop. If I do not get a quarter knot more speed out of the old girl, great disappointment will ensue.

Getting the mail in Hazen

Cissie said I had to fix the tire on the tractor before we went down to the post office to get the mail. I just told the Commander to sit in the right place and everything worked out fine.

Insurgents invade Kingdom of Kadizzle

For the past two weeks I have been fighting the little yellow insurgents in our yard. I will admit to chemical warfare. I sprayed the fellows up to four times. Yesterday I used weapons of mass destruction. I hit them at the roots with a weed wacker. I think they are moving in from neighboring yards. I am thinking about a troop surge, but the only support I might muster is The Commander. The Commander says my negligence has caused the insurgency.

I woke up one morning early, and just like Bush I went out on the back deck and declared victory. I could not see a dandelion in site. Then The Commander came out and told me the blossoms fold up at night. Sure enough as soon as the sun came out the enemy was in every nook and cranny of the yard.

Distraught I hired a weed fighter named Dumbsfield. Dumbsfield kept telling me we were winning against the weeds, it would just take a little more time and a little more money. The neighbors could see we were getting no where and insisted I should fire Dumsfield. I started with regular dandelions, but now I seem to have developed a super hybrid. If the insurgency spreads to other yards in the neighborhood, I am going to look like a fool.

It turns out there are two types of weeds in the yard, the sheeights, and the sunny’s. It seems the weeds may be killing each other. Maybe if I just sat on the porch I could let the sheeights and sunny’s just kill themselves and save all the money I am spending on weed control.

I got into this whole mess because I was advised there were WMD’s in my yard. Weeds of Mass Destruction. I can’t figure out if this is true or not. The only mass destruction has been to my wallet.

CHRISTOPHER HITCHENS on The DEATH of JERRY FALWELL-CNN 360

A Tribute to Jerry Falwell

Todays Problem

You don't have to be a weather man to know which way the wind blows. Maybe you remember this verse from a song in the sixties. I always liked it, because it seemed to say a lot about many things. However, when it comes to sailboats it is also true. After sailing for twenty years I usually have a pretty good idea which way the wind is blowing, but in the sailing game it is nice to know exactly where the wind is blowing. So this means someone has to go up the mast on my boat and install a wind indicator. The ideal person has to be small, and mechanically inclined. I could go up myself, but bending the mast or tipping the boat over are not things I want to see happen.

In the past the crew has hoisted The Commander up there, but this year she seems reluctant to go. Sitting on the trailer the top of the mast is about sixty feet in the air. People at the dock used to ask me how I got her to go up the mast. I told them I usually hoisted a banana up first. The Commander was not pleased with that comment. My new option is to try Charlie from up the street. Sometime today we may give this a try.

The new wind vane is necessary because birds ruined the old one. Birds like to sit on them. It was not unusual to find pheasant wings or other parts on the deck of my boat. Owls would sit on the top of the mast and drop leftovers on my boat. In the process they bent and destroyed the wind vane.

Not a good day.

Yesterday started out fairly well, but took a disastrous turn when The Commander brought the mail home. The Commander tossed me a thick letter from the IRS. According to the agents of the Bush Administration I owed them $21,000. Now I know the war is expensive, and I would like to help, but this is a little too much. The letter gave me three options. One option was just to write them a check and have it done with. No problem!

My first panic attack occurred when I could not find my tax records for the year in question. At this point suicide seemed like the best option.

The IRS had several problems with my taxes, but their biggest issue seemed to be $61,000 of unreported income. We all make mistakes you know. Can't they understand that a little sum like that could be overlooked in a Kingdom the size of Kadizzle.

Since I could not find the shells for the shotgun, I decided to see if I could undo the riddle. After six hours at the computer the picture began to emerge. It seems Lord Kadizzle had failed to file a capital gains report. It also turned out his Lordship failed to put a W-2 form in with the return in question.

Thank God for little things. After six hours of consternation, and a new version of my 2005 taxes my calculations show they actually owe me two thousand dollars. This seems like an incredible turn of events, so I decided I better go to sleep and see what reality looks like in the morning. Well today I will send them the letter and ask them to send me my two thousand dollars. This will either work or get me a lot closer to federal prison. Until this clears up there will be no more criticism of George Bush. George, you are doing a great job, and just let me know if you need anymore money for the war.

Who wants to be me?

There are many days when I don't want to be me, so I can't imagine why anyone else would. However, I have noticed that people are writing comments to me, as me. I will try to explain. A couple days ago the Bismarck Tribune published a letter I wrote. The Tribune has an online comment section whereby people can respond to letters. A person can sign the letter any way they want. The net result is comments from Mr. Quinn, and Mike, to Mike Quinn. Now, I know a lot of people think I am crazy, but I hope I am not so crazy that I have other personalities that disagree with this personality, maybe I do. If indeed it is me writing to me, I would like to tell the other me's we must act in unison. If we don't stick together we are in trouble. Remember the old saying, Together we stand, separate we fall.

If you think you are me, let me know. I can give you a test that will help you determine if you are me. Some parts of the test are fun. I will put a pizza in front of you and see how much you eat. Usually this alone can let me figure out if you are me. If this doesn't work I can do a DNAA test. This is the test my wife uses to identify me. DNAA stands for Does Nothing At All. Here is how my wife does the test. Before she leaves the room she says "Do the Dishes, and take out the garbage". When she comes back she says "You have Done Nothing At All". Now, she knows it is me.

Roadside Bomb found in front yard

When I awoke this morning there was a disaster in my yard. A dog involved in a Jihad left an improvised dirty bomb right where my shoe would travel as I went to get the paper. I told my wife I was going to root out this Jihadist before this type of terrorism spread through the neighbor hood. I figured this dog was hiding out up the street being sheltered by sympathetic neighbors, that had taken him in as a stray. When I got there the dog was gone, apparently he went to another yard. I kicked over my neighbors garbage can and let the air out of his tires, but I did not get the dog.

On the way home I noticed my other neighbor was building a fence around his yard. I asked him what this was for. He said it was to keep his children off the street. My intelligence indicated he was going to harbor Jihadist dogs behind the fence. I suspected he ways lying. Why would he have grass in the yard unless he was going to harbor Jihadist dogs? The only reason to have grass is so dogs can learn to plant dirty bombs.

I explained to my wife that I was going to make a preemptive strike and go up to the neighbors and destroy the fence under the cover of darkness. Well the next day I noticed my neighbor had a vicious dog chained to his garage. I demanded “Why do you have this dog?”. He explained that he needed the dog to defend his property because someone was wrecking his fence. Now I have been fighting with my neighbor for months and there seems to be no end in sight. My wife asked me why I fight with that neighbor, when he never had a dog until I started messing with him. I explained to my wife that I may have been wrong, at first, but now he has a dog, and I am going to fight until it is gone. Now the other neighbors heard about all of this and they all have dogs. It is just a matter of time until I find more dirty bombs in my yard.

Giovanni Sollima - Sogno ad Occhi Aperti (Daydream) PART 1

Take time to enjoy this, it will make a perfect start to your day

Our Arab Friends?

Rick Santorum - Body Armor

John Stewart:Liberal yes,funny yes, smart noo

John tells it like it is