Lord Kadizzle Goes Fishing

Poor old Daryl needed someone to fish with him, so Lord Kadizzle bought a fishing license and we were off. Daryl has a brand new fishing boat with the best of everything. We put in at Beulah Bay, and headed west to Beaver Bay. Immediately the motor started giving a beeping alarm. We did the appropriate thing and just tried to ignore it. Next, we did what any good pilot would do, and tried to disconnect the annoying alarm, no luck. When we arrived at the fishing ground we bobbed in the sun and roasted. I had a nice Walleye on, but lost it before we could get it in the boat. Daryl got a small one. After nothing but frustration we headed back at full speed with the alarm beeping. In the midst of a highspeed burst the engine just quit. Fortunately a boat was right beside us and towed us back to the ramp. I looked in the owners mannaul to see what you were supposed to do when that alarm went off. The instructions said "Stay near other boats". We did the right thing after all.

Lake still rising

All the rain is having an effect on Lake Sakakawea. The water is up to 1816, so I may have to help Jim Sickler move the dock one more time. Checking all the incoming streams it looks like they are slowly going down. However, if Montana get one more good shot of rain I could see the Lake hit close to 1820. A higher lake means the good ship can get back into more areas. One of my favorite areas is down the Little Missouri. In the spring it is hard to find a prettier place. If the Little Missus wants to sail this weekend we may head that direction. It is a long haul. It will take two days to get there.

PALE BLUE DOT

Todays Video, give it a try

Bike Ride This Morning

Today was a perfect day to hop on the bike and head north of town. The air was crystal clean the wind was calm, and with headphones on it was a nice ride of about twenty miles. We both got some good exercise.

Down the Little Missouri

The Commander, Lord Kadizzle, Pat, and Lauren headed down the Little Missouri from Medora yesterday. Twenty one miles of horizontal smiles. The Little Mo was up high and roaring, and with the green Badlands our spirits were soaring. I highly recommend a float trip on the Little Missouri for anyone that wants to try something new and enjoyable. Put a cooler in the middle of a canoe and head on out. The scenery is unbeatable. We saw some golden eagles and more prairie dogs than you could shake a stick at. It was about a five hour float. The river is running at four miles per hour, but with a few strokes of the paddle you can make it six.

The Ravens fire out a CD

Hardly a day goes by that I don't stop in a City Hall and talk to our Economic development manager for Hazen. Duke has been doing this for quite a few years. It looks like it has been a good week for Duke. In addition to the announcement that we will have a nice new retail store in town, Duke's group has put their new CD out for sale.

I took my copy home and put on the headphones. Instantly I was transported back to the time when there was real music. I was back at College singing Red Red Wine, then I was at my cousin's listening to It Ain't Me Babe. Those were all good times and there are thirteen other songs that can take you there. The Ravens put their own spin on each of the songs, and I like it. It is hard to believe that old Duke has such a good singing voice and these old farts can crank out the tunes they do, but if you want to find out for yourself, let me know and I can tell you how to get a copy of the CD.

The Ravens started out years ago like so many young guys traveling around the bars and venues of North Dakota doing their stuff. It is great that the got back together and let everyone reminisce. The last time they played at Jimmy's in Hazen it was to a packed house.

Commander Contemplates Little Missouri

With the large amount of rain falling in North Dakota The Commander has been talking a lot about making an assault on the Little Missouri. From the Logging Camp Ranch we would head north on the water to Medora. In order to make the trip, the Little Missouri has to be running pretty good.

Never Trust a Pirate

The fleet left Captain Kit's Marina Saturday and headed West. Avalon manned and womanned by Pat and Nancy, Rovin Tarr with the crew of Dina and Bill, and Sovereign with The Commander and Lord Kadizzle set sail for Shark's Tooth. Twas a fair breeze and we made it up to the anchorage quickly. The ships were tied together in about fifteen feet of water and the dinner procedures commenced. The crews ate in the cockpits. After a tasty meal some reminiscing and then we settled in for the night. Under a full moon the water was as calm and reflective as glass.

In the morning a warm sun greeted us in the back of the bay. Around ten Utopia sailed in and joined us for a round of morning medication. Lord Kadizzle was presented with his Never Trust a Pirate tee shirt by the Utopia crew. When the fleet broke up The Commander gave the order to Lord Kadizzle to set sail for Berthold Bay. The rest of the boats went East to home base. Although it rained before sunset, the next day provided good winds to take the Sovereign back to the dock.

Lake is Coming Up

Hopefully we can spend the weekend on the lake. All the rain in the past couple of days has brought the lake up. It looks like it may hit 1814 soon. That is the level above sea level. In the good old days the lake hit 1854. It does make a difference. To get back in the nice bays you need about 1835. Still some final little items to do on the boat, but generally the Sovereign is provisioned and ready to go.

Vision Quest

Using special equipment Lord Kadizzle nightly leaves the Earth and goes on a vision quest. Once in contact with the voices revelations abound. Lord Kadizzle has decided to be buried with headphones on. The Commander can still tell him what to do, and he will be able to listen to public radio.

The Good Ship is launched

After much cleaning, and sending Pat up to the top of the mast the good ship hit the water yesterday. Since Her Lordship is now retired and available to clean, the boat went into the water in bristol shape.

Hoppee and The Commander

During a magic part of the day, Lord Kadizzle turns into Hoppee. When the commander gets up she tells Hoppee to "Make some Coffee". Sometimes The Commander doesn't even get up as you can see above. Her Lordship choose to read in bed this morning. Hoppee was summoned to her side and told, as usual, "Get me some coffee, and don't forget the cream!". Hoppee scurries off to the kitchen stricken with fear that The Commander may turn him into a turnip. Until the clock gets to nine the orders fly fast and furious. Get the paper, bring me some water, turn on NPR, turn off the TV, clean up this mess, more coffee. Around nine Hoppie takes a shower, and turns back into Lord Kadizzle.

Making the country safe for Democracy

I remember back during the Vietnam war, when we were bombing the hell out of them. Someone asked a soldier what he was doing, he replied "Making the country safe for democracy". Sometimes it takes a lot of explosives to make a place safe for democracy. It looks like today is going to be an overcast, boring day, so I need a reason to go on living. So my mission today will be to make the country safe for democracy. This will first entail unloading the milk truck from Bismarck for Daryl. When Elmer leaves to work on the potato planting project, I have to fill in as substitute milk man. You might think democracy involves diplomacy and such, but to me it means making sure people have potatoes and milk. When times were simpler people would go to war over potatoes and milk. Brave men like myself, and Elmer have eliminated wars related to food shortages. After we have solved the world hunger problem it will be time to educate ourselves, which means a trip to the post office. I am going to sneak up to my P.O. Box and peak in the little window. If there is a letter in there from the IRS, I will slip out the door unnoticed. On the other hand if the box is full of interesting stuff, like credit card offers, we are off to the races.

By the time all of this is done, I will have the whole afternoon to make the world safe for democracy. However, if the Commander gets hold of me democracy could involve cleaning toilets. Yes, freedom means being free from germs. This project could involve chemical warfare, so I may have to suit up as we say. One thing I like about this project is I get to see where my dreams went.

GEORGE BUSH SPEECH WRITER - THE FUNNEST THING I HAVE SEEN

Today's video

El Cumbanchero, What are your kids doing?

Watch these kids play. What could kids do if you actually worked with them?

Border sealed against illegal imagrants.

Illegal immigrants have been finding work picking vegetables in The Commander's garden. In past years, many of these illegals simply slipped under the fence. After much public outcry, a new garden border initative was formulated. Immigration authorities now feel border crossings will decrease. These illegals in their fur covered suits were robbing our economy by sneaking across the border and harvesting green beans and lettuce. Some thought was given to shooting them on site, however protesters stopped that plan. The new fence was put up using American labor. The Commander gave a speech on the back porch with many dignitaries in attendance including Lord Kadizzle. In her speech, the commander said the cost of vegetables will come down as the supply increases. Asked who will weed the garden now that the illegals are being kept out, The Commander refused to answer, but did stare right at Lord Kadizzle. Rumor has it Lord Kadizzle has been spotted in the garden pulling weeds singing "I am a fat wetback working for a snack". Such is life in the Land of Kadizzle

Commander runs a tight ship

For hours we cleaned and cleaned on the good ship yesterday. I thought it would be in the water by now, but as things now stand North Dakota is not protected by a Navy. Her Lordship has never approved of the way I keep house, so she scraped and polished every little nook and cranny. We are trying a minimalist approach to boating this year. We have taken everything off the boat, and put back only what we truly need. Undoubtedly this will mean that there will be some crises and the captain will say, "If I only had a thingamajig, I could fix this". Well, for years we have been carrying hundreds of pounds of thingamajigs, and never needed them.

Lord Kadizzle is not qualified to work on the interior, which really breaks his heart, so he was sentenced to clean up the waterline. This may sound simple, but it required sanding sixty eight feet of waterline. A passerby, and oftime critic (Bill Butcher) noted that the hull never looked so good. I would agree, and Bill did not even see the boat after I had polished the prop. If I do not get a quarter knot more speed out of the old girl, great disappointment will ensue.

Getting the mail in Hazen

Cissie said I had to fix the tire on the tractor before we went down to the post office to get the mail. I just told the Commander to sit in the right place and everything worked out fine.

Insurgents invade Kingdom of Kadizzle

For the past two weeks I have been fighting the little yellow insurgents in our yard. I will admit to chemical warfare. I sprayed the fellows up to four times. Yesterday I used weapons of mass destruction. I hit them at the roots with a weed wacker. I think they are moving in from neighboring yards. I am thinking about a troop surge, but the only support I might muster is The Commander. The Commander says my negligence has caused the insurgency.

I woke up one morning early, and just like Bush I went out on the back deck and declared victory. I could not see a dandelion in site. Then The Commander came out and told me the blossoms fold up at night. Sure enough as soon as the sun came out the enemy was in every nook and cranny of the yard.

Distraught I hired a weed fighter named Dumbsfield. Dumbsfield kept telling me we were winning against the weeds, it would just take a little more time and a little more money. The neighbors could see we were getting no where and insisted I should fire Dumsfield. I started with regular dandelions, but now I seem to have developed a super hybrid. If the insurgency spreads to other yards in the neighborhood, I am going to look like a fool.

It turns out there are two types of weeds in the yard, the sheeights, and the sunny’s. It seems the weeds may be killing each other. Maybe if I just sat on the porch I could let the sheeights and sunny’s just kill themselves and save all the money I am spending on weed control.

I got into this whole mess because I was advised there were WMD’s in my yard. Weeds of Mass Destruction. I can’t figure out if this is true or not. The only mass destruction has been to my wallet.

CHRISTOPHER HITCHENS on The DEATH of JERRY FALWELL-CNN 360

A Tribute to Jerry Falwell

Todays Problem

You don't have to be a weather man to know which way the wind blows. Maybe you remember this verse from a song in the sixties. I always liked it, because it seemed to say a lot about many things. However, when it comes to sailboats it is also true. After sailing for twenty years I usually have a pretty good idea which way the wind is blowing, but in the sailing game it is nice to know exactly where the wind is blowing. So this means someone has to go up the mast on my boat and install a wind indicator. The ideal person has to be small, and mechanically inclined. I could go up myself, but bending the mast or tipping the boat over are not things I want to see happen.

In the past the crew has hoisted The Commander up there, but this year she seems reluctant to go. Sitting on the trailer the top of the mast is about sixty feet in the air. People at the dock used to ask me how I got her to go up the mast. I told them I usually hoisted a banana up first. The Commander was not pleased with that comment. My new option is to try Charlie from up the street. Sometime today we may give this a try.

The new wind vane is necessary because birds ruined the old one. Birds like to sit on them. It was not unusual to find pheasant wings or other parts on the deck of my boat. Owls would sit on the top of the mast and drop leftovers on my boat. In the process they bent and destroyed the wind vane.

Not a good day.

Yesterday started out fairly well, but took a disastrous turn when The Commander brought the mail home. The Commander tossed me a thick letter from the IRS. According to the agents of the Bush Administration I owed them $21,000. Now I know the war is expensive, and I would like to help, but this is a little too much. The letter gave me three options. One option was just to write them a check and have it done with. No problem!

My first panic attack occurred when I could not find my tax records for the year in question. At this point suicide seemed like the best option.

The IRS had several problems with my taxes, but their biggest issue seemed to be $61,000 of unreported income. We all make mistakes you know. Can't they understand that a little sum like that could be overlooked in a Kingdom the size of Kadizzle.

Since I could not find the shells for the shotgun, I decided to see if I could undo the riddle. After six hours at the computer the picture began to emerge. It seems Lord Kadizzle had failed to file a capital gains report. It also turned out his Lordship failed to put a W-2 form in with the return in question.

Thank God for little things. After six hours of consternation, and a new version of my 2005 taxes my calculations show they actually owe me two thousand dollars. This seems like an incredible turn of events, so I decided I better go to sleep and see what reality looks like in the morning. Well today I will send them the letter and ask them to send me my two thousand dollars. This will either work or get me a lot closer to federal prison. Until this clears up there will be no more criticism of George Bush. George, you are doing a great job, and just let me know if you need anymore money for the war.

Who wants to be me?

There are many days when I don't want to be me, so I can't imagine why anyone else would. However, I have noticed that people are writing comments to me, as me. I will try to explain. A couple days ago the Bismarck Tribune published a letter I wrote. The Tribune has an online comment section whereby people can respond to letters. A person can sign the letter any way they want. The net result is comments from Mr. Quinn, and Mike, to Mike Quinn. Now, I know a lot of people think I am crazy, but I hope I am not so crazy that I have other personalities that disagree with this personality, maybe I do. If indeed it is me writing to me, I would like to tell the other me's we must act in unison. If we don't stick together we are in trouble. Remember the old saying, Together we stand, separate we fall.

If you think you are me, let me know. I can give you a test that will help you determine if you are me. Some parts of the test are fun. I will put a pizza in front of you and see how much you eat. Usually this alone can let me figure out if you are me. If this doesn't work I can do a DNAA test. This is the test my wife uses to identify me. DNAA stands for Does Nothing At All. Here is how my wife does the test. Before she leaves the room she says "Do the Dishes, and take out the garbage". When she comes back she says "You have Done Nothing At All". Now, she knows it is me.

Roadside Bomb found in front yard

When I awoke this morning there was a disaster in my yard. A dog involved in a Jihad left an improvised dirty bomb right where my shoe would travel as I went to get the paper. I told my wife I was going to root out this Jihadist before this type of terrorism spread through the neighbor hood. I figured this dog was hiding out up the street being sheltered by sympathetic neighbors, that had taken him in as a stray. When I got there the dog was gone, apparently he went to another yard. I kicked over my neighbors garbage can and let the air out of his tires, but I did not get the dog.

On the way home I noticed my other neighbor was building a fence around his yard. I asked him what this was for. He said it was to keep his children off the street. My intelligence indicated he was going to harbor Jihadist dogs behind the fence. I suspected he ways lying. Why would he have grass in the yard unless he was going to harbor Jihadist dogs? The only reason to have grass is so dogs can learn to plant dirty bombs.

I explained to my wife that I was going to make a preemptive strike and go up to the neighbors and destroy the fence under the cover of darkness. Well the next day I noticed my neighbor had a vicious dog chained to his garage. I demanded “Why do you have this dog?”. He explained that he needed the dog to defend his property because someone was wrecking his fence. Now I have been fighting with my neighbor for months and there seems to be no end in sight. My wife asked me why I fight with that neighbor, when he never had a dog until I started messing with him. I explained to my wife that I may have been wrong, at first, but now he has a dog, and I am going to fight until it is gone. Now the other neighbors heard about all of this and they all have dogs. It is just a matter of time until I find more dirty bombs in my yard.

Giovanni Sollima - Sogno ad Occhi Aperti (Daydream) PART 1

Take time to enjoy this, it will make a perfect start to your day

Our Arab Friends?

Rick Santorum - Body Armor

John Stewart:Liberal yes,funny yes, smart noo

John tells it like it is

Boat Work Today

Getting the good ship in the water is not a simple matter. The first thing you have to pour into the boat is money. This year new life lines, new stereo speakers, a new wind vane, and new battens for the sails make up only part of the bills. Monday I jacked up the boat with a twenty ton hydraulic jack so I could work on the keel. This was not a simple job. Lowering the boat was just as bad. Today I hope to install the speakers, and finish up the lifeline job.

Last year I set a new world record for pouring money into the good ship. I had to haul the boat to Bismarck and have extensive fiberglass work done where the mast goes through the deck. This involved removing the mast and reinstalling it.

On a day with fifty mile an hour gust out of the west The Commander and I were headed East. It was a good and exciting downwind run. Under these circumstances it can be dangerous if anything goes wrong. We have done this many times in the past. I noticed the commander was nervous. Finally I asked "Why are you so worried?". The Commander explained she was concerned about the mast. I asked "Why are you worried about the mast?". She replied "Because YOU put it up". If for some reason that mast let loose it would have been the mother of all disasters with the wind we were experiencing. The Commander does not have the appropriete faith in repair work done by Lord Kadizzle. The mast held just fine and we made it back to port setting some new speed records on the way.

Today's Project, combination garden fence and pen for His Lordship

As mentioned earlier this will be today's project. The Commander says until the crops come up we can use the enclosure to contain His Lordship while she shops.

Kadizzled Editors busy at work over coffee

The Commander and Lord Casita (Ed) are reviewing all the world and local news so Kadizzled can keep you up to date. You make think this is a fly by night organization, but we sleep at night and fly in the morning.

Living under oppression

I have read all kinds of articles on retirement, but none has ever mentioned what is happening to me. Lord Kadizzle entered the world of 24 hour leisure before The Commander made the transition. Now that The Commander has officially retired from her forester position, Lord Kadizzle has full time adult supervision. This means plates, cups, and other dishes must immediately be washed and returned to their homes. The half life of underwear on the floor is now the quarter life. As far as making any decisions, that is a thing of the past, all decisioins come from Comandante. Any moment The Commander will bust onto the scene with the familiar command "Make me some coffee", that is my signal freedom in the Land of Kadizzle is over for the day. It will not be long after she sits down and gives the command "Get the cream", then she will proclaim, "You are going to help me put the fence up around the garden". My day in servitude will begin. I do not get to make the simplest decision anymore. A nice noon nap on the couch is very difficult under the Commander's homeland security. Now, we live like the Japanese with shoes on and shoes off all day going in and out of the house. Men beware, when your wife retires it means you will be going back to work.

Red Slippers found near Stanton

I always thought there was something peculiar about the Strawberry Hill farmstead near Stanton, where the Kerns reside. After Ray sent this picture of a tornado over his house yesterday, my mind began to click and I put it all together. Dothy and Toto; Ray and Janey ( the little dog he keeps under his leather jacket). The Wizard behind the curtian; The Wizard in the back of the barn. Now I seem to remember that when we were cutting logs with Ray, he was wearing ruby colored lumber jack boots. It is all making sense now. Ray insisted we come home on the Enchanted Highway. Does the term Yellow Brick Road mean anything? When I asked Ray what he thought about George Bush, he simply replied, "Now thats a horse of a different color".

Where does the money come from?

For about two weeks we have had little, if any, newspapers delivered to our house. The Commander is not happy. Today, she is going to buy a Sunday paper. A typical day starts by calling the Bismarck Tribune and asking "What day are we going to get the Sunday paper?". The problem seems to be that no one is willing to deliver the paper. In the past, we had good delivery service, until the people doing it figured out they were spending more in gas than they were taking in. This took about five years.

Now, to the crux of the problem. Young people refuse to work. I offered the neighbor boy twenty dollars to cut my grass. He just said no. I said would you do it for a hundred dollars, he still was not interested. When I was handing out campaign material in Stanton, I offered kids fifteen dollars an hour to pass out pamphlets. NO, No, no.

When I was a kid, we were always doing something to scrape up a little cash. In the winter, I shoveled sidewalks for old ladies. We also picked up pop bottles and cashed them in. We pulled weeds for my grandfather; we cut grass; we painted house numbers on the curb, and if someone offered us five dollars, we thought we were millionaires. Now, you frequently see kids driving fairly new cars, most of the time better than the one I have, up and down main street. Who buys the cars and the gas for them? I think the day will soon be here when kids come up to me and say "Hey, old man will you polish my car?". The answer may be yes.

Yesterday, a news report said the economy in a wealthy town was under siege because they could not get a supply of immigrant workers. In some Arab oil kingdoms, the only workers are immigrants. Apparently, we are headed that direction. Life is good. When I become a grandfather, I know someday my grandchildren will ask me "Hey gramps what was work like?". Anybody who knows me may be skeptical that I will be able to give an honest answer.

Tree Lady Headed for Bismarck to adopt more children

In Hazen the Commander is known as the tree lady. For ten years the Commander was the Hazen City forester. The Commander thinks most of the trees in town are her children. Today Lord Kadizzle has been roped into planting trees in Bismarck. Two generations of Butchers need to get a fresh crop going in their yards. Last week we were cutting up logs and this week we are at the other end of the crop putting seedlings in the ground. Lord Kadizzle grew up in West Virginia. At one time His Lordship with the help of his brothers and sisters planted five thousand trees, which are now over eighty feet tall. Who was it that wrote "From tiny acorns might oaks grow"? In the Kingdom of Kadizzle nuts and trees certainly go together.

Beth is taking off for a long walk

Beth Axtmann is taking off for a long walk from the Mexican Border to Canada. She already did it once through the mountains of California, now she is going to do it on the continental divide. Beth went to school with Erin, and ran on the championship track team with Erin in High School. The Commander and Lord Kadizzle have hiked in some of the southern parts of this trail. It is wonderful country, but quite an undertaking.

Good Morning

The morning after

Commander decides to neuter Lord Kadizzle

Randy Christmann Saves Lord Kadizzle from The Commander

Many of you may recall Lord Kadizzle ran for the North Dakota legislature and lost to a team of Republicans. The leader of the Republican team was Randy Christman. Inadvertently, Lord Kadizzle found legislation that Senator Christman successfully introduced and had passed in the North Dakota legislature:

North Dakota made it illegal to force people to insert microchips into their bodies.

Sen. Randy Christmann, R-Hazen, said he introduced the bill for a constituent knowledgeable about the subject.

Initially skeptical, Christmann found that at least one other state had taken similar action.

“Knowing how easy implantation of chips can be with livestock, it occurred to me that it is not out of the realm of possibility that someone in a position of power over someone else could coerce them into accepting a tracking device,” he explained.

Christmann cited domineering employers or abusive spouses as examples.

Well, it turns out The Commander was planning on putting a microchip in Lord Kadizzle. The Commander has suspected for many years that when she calls on her cell phone to check on Lord Kadizzle's progress she is not getting reliable information. Frequently his Lordship would be awakened from a gravity attack on the couch by the ring of The Commander's cell phone. Of course Lord Kadizzle reports that he is in the back yard working. In other instances, his Lordship has been caught in a frivolous conversation when he was supposed to be on The Commander's mission.

The Commander had planned to put a chip in his Lordship's posterior that would register when he was sitting and send out a signal. The chip would also report Lord Kadizzle's location. Just in the nick of time, Randy has stepped in with his legislation that will make it possible for his Lordship to live with dignity. The commander is now contemplating a shock collar.

Noble Youth off to very good start

Megan and Ned have been working for over a year with their new business Noble Youth. Collaborating they have produced a line of clothing. Yesterday a well known web site The Daily Candy featured an article on Noble Youth. With the word out things began to roll. Sales were good right from the start, and better yet they made some good contacts. Among others they were asked by Women's Wear Daily to get in touch. Megan and Ned are very pleased, and so is Lord Kadizzle. Lord Kadizzle is a major stockholder in Noble Youth. Check out the web site at http://www.nobleyouthdesign.com/ Order as much as you can afford, the Kingdom needs the cash flow.

Megan's fashions go online today

A Noble Example
noble youth!

Friends, colleagues, administrators. We are gathered here today to celebrate young people engaged in the development of wardrobe essentials.

A new brand, Noble Youth, offers all of us hope for a new society that is inclusive and tolerant of short, sleeveless cloaks and for new, visionary leadership from someone dressed in cuffed houndstooth shorts.

There are more than four million women in this city who could benefit from the bright red, short-sleeve, flared Samba frock. And just as many men who stand to gain from the plunging neckline of the ruffled blue Plum dress.

The integration of poetry and romance in the line is exemplified by the puckered, high-neck Poe blouse and the regal, fitted, Cleopatra minidress — both in crisp white.

We applaud the creative energy of the first collection and encourage our Noble Youth to forge ahead and help build wardrobes of other nations.

Thank you for the soapbox.


Available at Flirt, 93 Fifth Avenue, between Baltic and Warren Streets, Park Slope (718-783-0364); online at nobleyouthdesign.com.

Jake to appear on Oprah Show

According to local news my little neighbor Jake will be on the Oprah show next week. If you have been to my house you may have met Jake. Jake is the seven year old bi-lateral amputee that lives next door. Jake can be a handful. Sometimes he taunts me by yelling "Hey Old Man". This often means I have to chase him into the trampoline, catch him and wrestle him into submission.

Last summer while I was washing the car, Jake was being a real nuisance. Several times I warned Jake that if he did not stop bothering me he was going to get soaked with the hose. Sure enough I had to give him a squirt of water. It did no good, so I continued to dowse him. It was not long before he was completely soaked, and finally went home. I began to think I might be in trouble. The next day I asked his sister if their mom was mad because I soaked Jake. She told me when he took his legs off water poured out of the sockets, but his mother said he probably deserved what he got.

Sailing Article

Steve Regenold did another article about sailing on the Sovereign last year. If you would like to see it you can either go to the Minneapolis St. Paul Magazine on line, or click on this link http://www.mspmag.com/travel/travel/68741.asp

I have been in contact with a photographer who has done articles for Cruising Magazine.
This is a major sailing magazine and will be a good hit if he sails this summer. If North Dakota would make any kind of effort to promote our lake, it could have big paybacks.

The Commander returns to Hazen, and disarray

Lord Kadizzle tried hard to have the castle in reasonable shape for the return of The Commander, however circumstances conspired against him. Most of the debris from the underwear, and sock storm had been cleared away, the bathroom was given a cursory cleaning, and the kitchen was even restored to original condition. The problem began when Ed suggested spaghetti for dinner. Lord Kadizzle and Ed made the kitchen back into the battle ground it was yesterday. Even though his Lordship made some progress, it did not pass the Commander's muster when she returned. Things are expected to return to normal today. With the return of The Commander, the peasants feel reassured there is some order in the Kingdom.

Ed Submits picture for photo contest

Ed just returned to Hazen

Three idiots

Three idiots are missing in Australia. According to the news report they found their sailboat with food on the table and in good condition, but nobody was on board. The Coast Guard in Australia suspects they got in the dingy and forgot to anchor the boat. The boat got away.

Now this brings me to some of the dumb sailboat things that I have done which may have qualified me to be idiot number four. Years ago a friend approached my boat with a jet ski. I was alone on the boat. With the boat under sail I asked him to give me a ride on his jet ski. The wind was light and my boat was sailing on auto pilot. Roxy agreed to give me a ride. I climbed off the boat and got on his jet ski. The plan was to let the boat sail by itself down the middle of the lake until I re boarded. As soon as I got on the jet ski, Roxy accidentally dropped the keys to the jet ski in the lake. My boat was headed down the lake, and we were stuck. Fortunately Roxy figured out how to hot wire the jet ski, and things worked out.

Once The Commander and Lord Kadizzle were sailing with the spinaker up. It was a warm evening and we were in the middle of nowhere, so we decided to jump in the water nude and drag on the ladder behind the boat. After dragging awhile naked, it occurred to me that if the boat got away, it would be a strange accident report. The newspaper would report our naked bodies found on the shore miles from our boat. No one would ever figure out what happened. We got back on the boat. Someday I hope to make headlines under the idiot category.

If the Wheel is Fixed

The Story of two loggers, Ray and Mike

bush sunday bloody sunday

This poor fellow is Kadizzled

horse logging

A nice little video you will enjoy. Take the time to watch it. I just got it from Youtube. Be patient. It keeps getting better

Logging Camp Ranch

Lord Kadizzle and Ray Bunyan cutting up.

If Hazen had old people like this our problem would be solved

If we could get these goats in Hazen instead of ours

We Reap what the NRA has sown

Off to do some Logging

Lord Kadizzle is off today to do some logging at the Logging Camp Ranch. The ranch is located in South West North Dakota. The location is very strange. The little forest where this ranch is located is surrounded by hundreds of miles of treeless prairie in every direction. Why this little forest cropped up is a strange phenomenon. There had to be a micro climate that made it possible.

Ray Kerns and I are going to go down for a couple of days and help clean up some of the mess they had from a forest fire. Ray is taking some logs down with us to have cut up in the saw mill there. Kadizzle needs the exercise, so here we go.

Did you read Clay Jenkinson article in Sunday Paper?

Fire Belly strikes Lord Kadizzle

Last night I was hit with a severe case of fire belly. It all started when I had the brilliant idea to bake some chocolate chip cookies. I thought it best to sample some of the dough before I started baking. I think the dough rising in the boiler was part of the problem. At 12:45 I tried to douse the fire with some baking soda and water, it seemed to help, but there were rumblings of a volcano.

To research this article I went to the web site of: Association of Independent Competitive Eaters
Home of Picnic Style Rules

Here I found that people eat jalapeño peppers competitively. I felt like I had been crowned champ at their annual picnic.

Poor Old Snoocher Bear

Deep in the woods with her elk, her fox, Fran, and her mom the poor old Snoocher Bear is recovering from her knee surgery. She needs to get back in shape so she can sail with Lord Kadizzle this summer.

In Spite of Ourselves

Nothing but big old hearts dancing in our eyes

Home Alone

The poor old Snoocher Bear (Erin) had surgery on her knee yesterday. So momy bear is down in Evergreen, Colorado taking care of Erin. This means that in Hazen we have no Commander. In turn this means Lord Kadizzle is home alone with no supervision. The adjustment is tough.

The fairy that makes the bed, picks up dirty cloths, and does numerous other tasks must have jumped into The Commander’s suitcase. There is no more magic. Things just stay right where I left them. This is not all bad, but it is not all good either. Inside it looks like we had a light snow of underwear and socks in the bedroom. In the kitchen it has snowed plates, silverware, and other things like newspaper and mail. I try to keep up with this stuff, and the Commander warned me there would be a court-martial when she returns. Her last words out the door were “I shall return”. I think McArthur got that line from her.

When the old commander is gone Lord Kadizzle is truly Lord of his Castle. In a kingdom of one, it is not much fun to be King, but you get to go to bed when you want. You do everything at your leisure. You even get to operate the remote control.

The Bismarck Tribune -- Late with the news-Late with delivery

The other day I got so mad at the Bismarck Tribune I wrote them a letter about their sorrowful articles. Of course they did not publish my letter. On the front page they put a weather story that happened ten years ago. I really don't care if it snowed ten years ago. A week later they come up with some other story on the front page about something that happened many years ago. They just don't get the concept of "News".

I thought you cannot possibly do worse than give a person old news, but the Bismarck Tribune has topped themselves in Hazen. For two days we got no paper. Maybe they are doing this just to me to teach me a lesson. On the third day at NOON they delivered two papers from the last two days. Now we get ten year old news delivered two days late. If you can top that let me know. Right now I am sitting here wondering what happened ten years ago because I don't have a morning paper. By noon they should have it on my doorstep if I am lucky. It is a sunny day so the chances are good.

Lord Kadizzle is Confused

A little confusion is good

Viking Motorycycle Gang Attacks Hazen

Apparently the dog is in cahoots with the motorcycle bunch from Stanton. This was the scene on the Knife River near Hazen this morning as the gang approached our peaceful town. Townsfolk stood on the bridge near the golf course and dropped beer on these thugs, but it did not deter them. It looks like rape and pillage are in order. Most are running from town, girls who haven't been asked out for awhile are running down to greet them. This is not going to be pretty.

Angry Dog Threatens to Sue

On a couple of occasions I have stolen photos without giving credit. I don't know if I should apologize or let them sue. If you look at the Stanton story comments you will see a dog is threatening me with a law suit for failing to give photo credits. Ok, I am sorry, how many dog biscuits do you want to settle this? You took the pictures, and you did a good job. Would you consider being the Stanton correspondent? I also would like to know if you would go along and take pictures on a pheasant hunt. I don't think the other dogs would mind?

Motorcycle Gang near Stanton has rehabilitation program

Two members of Ray's Angels from the Stanton area can be seen in the pictures finishing up the first canoe they are building for disadvantaged kids over thirty with motorcycles. This gang which has been known to roar through the streets of Hazen terrozing local residents was sentenced by Hazen Municipal Judge Mike Quinn to do some community service. Ray, who frequently rides with a vicious toy poodle tucked under his shirt, plans to use the canoes to make a trip down the Little Missouri with his gang member son, Brian. Hopefully this program will show these thugs that you can enjoy serenity on the river and there is no need scare old ladies in Hazen by walking down the street with a poodle wearing a spiked collar.

This Day Will Come

Sitting here with snow falling poor old Lord Kadizzle needs something to keep him going. Those days are out there somewhere when we can sit in a bay on the boat. Aah the thought of warm water, and cold beer.

Lord Kadizzle wants help naming Invention

Al Gore invented the Internet, so I thought maybe I could come up with something. I thought maybe if you put a round object under things, you could move them easier. After a week down in the basement this is what I came up with. Anybody have any ideals for what to call it?

Did you know?

If your not Kadizzled after you see this you may be

Tyler wants to know about chameleons, Lord Kadizzle has advice

chamelions

A cold day back in the Dakotas

A day back in the Dakota’s. The commander and Lord Kadizzle woke up to a sunny, but cold day. We both felt like we had to get out of the house. After the usual wake up ceremony His Lordship told the Commander today was the day to inspect the royal yacht. On the way to the Sovereign the carriage stopped at Hazen Bay to check out trees the commander lovingly planted there. The Commander was not happy with what the porcupines did. I would not want to be a porcupine around The Commander if she had a shotgun. The blasted critters stripped the bark from a quite a few trees.

At the State Park we had a nice visit with Captain Kit. In unison we moaned about how the State of North Dakota will not do anything to improve the lake. Kit assured us there is snow in the mountains and the lake will rise to where we can get the Sovereign in the water.

I dreaded checking the boat for fear it may have some winter damage. Generally it looked good, but the thought of the expensive things it needed made me wonder why boats torture owners checkbooks every spring. Maybe that is why a lot of boats have female names. You love them, but they are expensive. I have to replace lifelines this year, and it ain’t going to be pretty.

After our visit to the boat we headed down to see Ray. We found Ray working on cabinets for the new visitor’s center in Stanton. Ray is a very good craftsman, and Stanton is going to have a nice stop for people going to the Knife Rive Indian Village.

Ray invited to his house to see the progress on his wooden canoe. The canoe is a work of art. Many people would be tempted to hang it on the wall and just look at it, but Ray is going to make it entertain him. We discussed a trip from Logging Camp Ranch in Southwest North Dakota toward the Missouri. It would be through some very pretty, but rugged country on the Little Missouri.

Sleeping Jesus found in Zap

Living in a small town does have some benefits. One benefit is a weekly newspaper. Our paper is the Hazen Star. When we returned to Hazen, the story that made the front page concerned how the county road superintendent was mistreating his employees.

One of his sins was calling them names. Apparently, he tagged one worker with the name “Slow Jesus”. I've heard people called a lot of names in my day, but I could not help but wonder what a “Slow Jesus” was. I thought, perhaps, it evolved from, “Jesus! You are slow”.

Earlier this week I volunteered to help neighbor Bob haul some junk to the dump with my truck. I thought this might be a chance to solve the Slow Jesus mystery since the dump is run by county employees. As we paid the dumping fee, I asked the attendant who is "Slow Jesus”? He explained to me that the story was inaccurate. The nick name was “Sleepy Jesus”. The dump master told me that “Sleepy Jesus” lived in Zap. Apparently, “Sleepy Jesus” is a fundamentalist who works on the road crew.

I can see where all this could lead. All the television preachers refer to Jesus of Nazareth. I can see why they have to do this to avoid confusion with Sleepy Jesus from Zap. I still don’t know what a Sleepy Jesus is, or a Slow Jesus for that matter. Perhaps the road commissioner is getting a little impatient with the return of the Messiah. A little over 2,000 years is a long wait.

Still stunned by this mystery, I decided to resort to Google. My search led me to the story of Jesus on a ship in the Sea of Galilea.

A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him, and said to him, "Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?" He got up, rebuked the wind, and said to the waves, "Quiet! Be still!" Then the wind died down, and it was completely calm. He said to his disciples, "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?" They were terrified, and asked each other, "Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!" Mark 4:37-41

As the storm raged, Jesus slept. Now, this leads me to wonder about the work habits of Sleeping Jesus of Zap. Perhaps it is a compliment, because he remains calm in a crises, but on the other hand, it could be construed as an insult. The mystery remains, and only Kenny Nelson, the county road crew superintendent, knows the answer to the mystery.

Cube News 1: I've Been Banned!

Watch this little Firecracker