A Trip to the Library

 The Three Stooges of Payson politics — Steve Otto, Charlie Bell, and Jim Ferris — remain the darlings of the local Tea Party crowd. The Stooges understand their audience well. They know how to play the Hoopleheads like a fiddle, and nothing excites the simple minded faster than screaming the word “pornography.”

That is where Ferris found his favorite hobbyhorse. According to Ferris, the local library is apparently one dirty magazine away from the collapse of civilization. The latest outrage is a sex education book for young people, the book Sex Is a Funny Word. Ferris and the outrage machine want people to believe the book is some kind of underground porn operation hiding between the cookbooks and the western novels.

Of course, here comes the hypocrisy train rolling down the tracks.

Ferris voted for and supports Donald Trump, a man found liable for sexual abuse, a man whose own recorded words included “grab ’em by the pussy,” and a man who has spent years swimming in scandals involving pornography, affairs, and allegations involving young women. Apparently none of that bothers the morality police in the Tea Party circus. Suddenly standards disappear when the offender wears a red hat.

That is the real trick of modern MAGA politics. Outrage is never about principles. It is about theater. If a library carries a book that explains bodies, consent, puberty, or awkward adolescent questions in a factual way, the Stooges scream “pornography!” loud enough to whip the crowd into a frenzy. But when their political hero behaves like a walking tabloid scandal, silence falls over the room like a church service.

The book itself is not some secret Playboy manual hidden in the children’s section. It is an educational book designed to help kids understand their bodies, relationships, and feelings in a healthy and age-appropriate way. What truly terrifies the culture warriors is not pornography. It is education. Education creates people who ask questions. The Tea Party machine survives on people who do not.

Ferris understands this perfectly. Fear works better than facts. Yell “protect the children” enough times and nobody notices the contradictions standing right in front of them.

And that is why the Three Stooges continue their act. Otto nods solemnly. Bell follows along. Ferris waves the latest culture-war prop in the air. The Hoopleheads clap on command. Meanwhile the real issues facing Payson — roads, water, housing, public services, and economic development — sit ignored while the council stages another performance about books in the library.

The sad part is that none of this is really about books. It is about power. Keeping people angry, frightened, and distracted has become the entire business model of MAGA politics. In that sense, the Three Stooges are not unusual at all. They are simply the local franchise.