Blind Man hikes out of Grand Canyon

Anyone, who knows The Commander knows she suffers from hyperactivity, consequently I have to use special techniques when I hike with her. The Commander typically goes up the trail like a monkey with it’s tail on fire. My solution for this problem getting out of the Grand Canyon was to leave very early on the first wave of hikers headed out. The Commander would follow on the second wave. This would give me about an hour’s head start.

Breakfast is served at 5:30 for the first shift. Naturally I was first in line and first finished. Immediately against the protest of the commander, I took off in the dark. It was very dark and I began to think about the foolishness of my adventure. Most of the trail hangs on the edge of a cliff, and if you fall off death would be better than the injury you would receive.

As I went down the first part of the trail it occurred to me I had to pass the Ranger’s house. I was concerned the Ranger may tell me I could not continue until daylight. How to explain my stupidity was my puzzle. Then I remembered Owen’s Chihuahua joke. Owen is Bill Butcher’s grandson. The joke revolves around a blind man who discovers they gave him a Chihuahua for a Seeing Eye dog.

My plan was that if I saw any signs of the ranger, I would put on my sunglasses in the dark, and pretend like I was finding my way down the path tapping my hiking stick like a blind person. When the ranger barked out “You can’t hike this trail in the dark”, I would reply “ Those ornery roommates told me it was daylight”.

As luck would have it I made it past the Ranger’s house with no problems. In the dark ahead of me on the trail I saw what appeared to be two tiny bright red lights bouncing along the trail ahead of me. The lights did not move in tandem, like eyes, but each one went its own way, even though they stayed close together. Puzzled and with a little trepidation I kept walking toward the lights. Shortly I could make out about a three-year-old boy with his mother hiking down the trail ahead of me. The little boy’s tennis shoes had little lights on the bottom that came on every time he stepped. The mom was just taking him for a morning walk. What an experience, to be three years old hiking with your mom at five thirty beside the Colorado River at the bottom of the grand Canyon in the dark.

My plan worked and I made the five thousand foot rise to the top about forty five minutes before Winky.