Kadizzle Agrees With Bush

Never thought the day would come, but Bush and Kadizzle are dancing together on this one. Bush does not want to give subsidies to farmers making more than 200k per year. He would never put this restriction on an oil guy, but at least he got one right.

The Strangest Rule in the Bible

Lord Kadizzle is still plowing through the book A Year of Living Biblically. Last night the author of the book was asked by his grandfather what was the strangest rule in the Bible. Apparently the Bible forbids a woman from grabbing the testicles of the person her husband is fighting. For example: If Lord Kadizzle were to engage neighbor Bob in a round of fisticuffs, The Commander is prohibited from grabbing Bob's testicles to aid Lord Kadizzle. The punishment for The Commander according to the Bible is to have her hand cut off. When I warned the Commander about this rule, she said what if I kick him in the groin or do something else. Like the author explained to his grandfather, I explained to the commander the rule only addressed grabbing testicles. I need to tell Bob about this rule, I am not sure if he will be more or less inclined to punch me the next time he has to endure one of my tiraids.

Dumb As We Wanna Be

Tom Friedman has written a kick as column in then New York Times about the gas shortage silliness, or more precisely the lack of an energy policy in this country. Read Dumb As We Wanna Be

Shot at and Missed

Lord Kadizzle can't remember the phrase, but it goes something like "There is nothing that gets your attention like being shot at and missed". Yesterday morning while delivering milk for Daryl a call came in on the cell phone. The caller wanted to know if I could go to work on Friday for three weeks at a power plant in Furgus Falls. The money was very good, and I had to say yes. The bad news was I would be working seven days a week, 12 hours a day, and now for the topper I would be doing the midnight shift. My mind was going in two directions, one part was spending the money on new toys, and the other was imagining myself sleeping during the day, eating crap food, and wandering around all night. Later in the day the company managed to find one of their own employees to do the safety work, so now the haunting fear of work has subsided, but it was a close call. Lord Kadizzle thought The Commander might want to go on the adventure, so he asked. It turned out she wanted no part of it. Poor Lord Kadizzle felt like a slave being sold down river. The Commander was relishing the idea of peace and quit while her worthless husband finally brought home some cash, which she has already spent on her new recliner.

What about Kieth Olberman?

Kieth Olberman is one of my favorite, if not the best commentators, but after watching his news cast about Reverend Wright, I really had to wonder if he watched all of what Wright had to say. I just don't see how you can read one or two paragraphs of a speech, and think you understand the whole thing. I don't think most of the people commenting on Rev Wright listened to him from beginning to end. Wright is lending himself to the defeat of Obama, which will be a tragedy. One of the things Wright asserts is that America has terrorized other countries. On first blush this statement would seem terrible, but when you consider the dictators the United States supported in Iran, Iraq, Cuba, and Chile, it is true. Our country at one time stood behind Sadam, we stood behind Pinochet, we stood behind Batista. If you know your history every one of these men were brutal dictators. If you know the complete history of Vietnam, you know we got started in that country supporting the dictator of South Vietnam. It is certainly an unpleasant fact to confront, but that doesn't make it untrue. Anyone who has read anything knows we are supporters of the current kingdoms in Saudi Arabia. These kingdoms are terribly repressive regimes. Please someone tell me I am crazy or wrong. This is what Wright is being criticized for. Wright said "The Chickens are coming home to roost" or "What you reap is what you sew" who could deny that we have planted the seeds of hate in Iran when we used to support the Sha of Iran? Sadam used to be our sorragate against Iran, at the behest of the CIA. Is this not true? So when Wright goes on television and says this, he is a crazy man saying radical things? Sure they are radical, but history shows they are true.

Amazing Spin on Reverend Wright

Watching the nightly news Lord Kadizzle was steaming. The spin put on what Reverend Wright said was unbelievable. If you listened to what he said in it's entirety, it made perfect sense. I have lost a lot of trust in our news media, after hearing the man, and then hearing the way he was portrayed. The trick they used is subtle, but effective. They say he was saying "radical" things. I could not see anything radical about what he said. The news didn't say what was radical about what he said. If you want to see how the news can spin things, and in this case I will freely admit IT WAS NOT FOX The spin was as bad as anything Fox could have come up with. Why they want to attack this man is beyond me. He comes off as well educated and well spoken. You could see the mean steak in the woman who was asking him questions after his speech. Each question was meant to put a dagger in him. His answers blew her away every time. You could just see her getting more enraged. Don't take my word for it, watch him, I am sure he will be on C-Span. Just announced Kieth Olberman will talk about him tonight. This should be good, it will be test of Olberman, he is one of my favorites, I cannot wait to see his take.

Reverend Wright is cooking them.

Lord Kadizzle is sitting here listing to Reverend Wright. Wow, he is something. If people really listened to what he is saying, it would be truly amazing. The man seems very intelligent, and a very good speaker. He is going to be a handful for his critics. He is going to be demonized by the people who never really listened to what he has to say. Listening to him tell his story, it is easy to see how you could take his speech out of context and use it to bust him. He is on CNN right now. He has a very interesting message. However, the urban legend bunch will have a heyday with him. I would love to see him debate Bingo Bush, he would eat him alive. As I listen, I am concluding he is the best preacher I have ever heard. Get a copy of what he is saying, watch it. You will learn a lot. If I could get a copy of his speech I would show it on the local channel ten. As I keep watching him, I keep getting more impressed. I would go to his church in a heartbeat just to hear someone preach something like what Jesus probably meant.

Drunken Hasidic Jews

My sweet little daughter Megan is living in the midst of Hasidic Jews in New York City. These people are Orthodox, and very strange. Sitting on the Royal Kaddizzle throne this morning I picked up my current book assignment The Year of Living Biblically. The author launches into a story about how he goes to a party with stumbling drunk Hasidic Jews. Their drunkenness is the result of a biblical passage that tells them to celebrate and dance. There is a part in the Bible where King David celebrates the arrival of the Ark of the Covenant to Jerusalem. King David apparently gets drunk and starts dancing so wildly his robe flies up. The family jewels are exposed. His wife brings this to his attention. Somehow this results in them being childless. So the Biblical message must be, get drunk, dance, but don't let your robe fly up if you want children. Apparently underwear was not yet invented. Underwear may be the result of this whole bible passage.

Now it would make an interesting case for a person to be arrested for public drunkenness and claim it was a religious right. It might be required you get locked in a church if convicted.

Lord Kadizzle is amazed how you can interpret the Bible to get to just about anywhere you want. Want some slaves, no problem, its in there. If you want more than one wife, it may be in there, but if it isn't you can always just revise the Bible like the Mormans did.

Last night Lord Kadizzle was reading about the cleanliness regulations in the Bible. You cannot sit in a chair where a menstruating woman has sat. The author of the book came home an started to sit in his favorite chair. His wife stopped him by telling him she had used the chair. Soon he found his wife had sat in every chair in the house just to make it hard for him to follow the Bible. He ended up sitting in his sons small midget chair. In order to follow the Bible the author carries a combination folding chair, and cane.

Polls confirm Bush worst President in History

From New York Times Today, "according to Gallup, President Bush has the highest disapproval rating recorded in 70 years of polling"

Richard Dawkins on Bill Maher 11 April 2008

Interesting

Beyond Hope

The Commander and Lord Kadizzle made a trek to the shopping capital of our universe, Bismarck. All day Lord Kadizzle interviewed the clerks and employees in the stores to test the political wind. The political knowledge of these people was appalling. Many of them had no idea of who was running for president. The majority said they have never voted in their life. The fact that they do not vote could go both ways. Perhaps it keeps us safe from their ignorance, on the other hand if they would just vote they could vote them selfs out of a mess.

The most remarkably stupid person I met all day was at Home Depot. Wait there is a tie for the dumbest. There was the lady who thought McCain was a democrat. Back to Home Depot. Somehow I got on the topic of if he supported our current idiot, Bush. He assured me he did. I asked would support him no matter what? He explained that no matter what stupid thing Bush did he would support him, and even die for Bush's cause. Then he told me that was always the stance of his family, and followed that by saying, I am a Mormon. I figured, this explains it, the guy is a Mormon, and you could get him to believe anything. In an effort to save his soul I decided I needed to cure him of Mormonism first, before we could even start on politics, so I recommended he read the book Under The Banner of Heaven. I told him it exposed the whole fraud of the Mormons. He looked at me puzzled and explained his last name was Mormon, and he was not a member of "the cult". Now, I felt as stupid as he did. I explained when he gave his patriotic speech, he needed to make some clarification. Don't say "I support any stupid thing the president proposes I am a Mormon". Instead, say "My last name is Mormon, I support any stupid thing the president proposes".

Do I really know these people?

If I were working on a project, and I asked someone to hand me a half inch socket wrench it could go like this: "Which half inch socket wrench do you want, the blue one or the red one?". It doesn't make any difference, would be my reaction, they are both half inch socket wrenches. I am beginning to find out I am wrong. Many of the people for whom I thought the fog had lifted are telling me things like " I could never vote for a black or a woman". A young guy gave me that line and I was shocked. He was still wet behind the ears, and where did he get that jazz, I thought the Klan had gone long ago.

One of the most amazing stories Lord Kadizzle ever read was the transformation of George Wallace. Remember him, he practically invented racism. If your as old as me you remember someone shot him and paralyzed him. For years he was going around spouting his hate, and discontent. Guess who pushed his wheel chair? Yes, it was a black man. For some strange reason George woke up one day, and realized the good friend this man had become, and where he would be without him. George Wallace went to his grave a changed man.

When I used to work in underground mines, one of the things I liked the best was that everybody seemed to get along. There was a simple reason to respect everyone and treat them with some level of dignity. When the roof fell on you, or the damn place blew up, you had no clue who was going to save you. I would not have wanted to be a racist with a rock fall one me and no one to dig me out but a black man. Well that is where we are today. Our country is under a rock, and perhaps the only one who can dig us out is a black man. Now, what color socket wrench do you want?

After writing the above Lord Kadizzled decided to do a little homework. Searching Wikipedia I found some very good information on George Wallace. His story is very interesting. Some question if he was a racist in the first place. He may have been just doing what was politically expedient. The most amazing thing is that in his last election he won by a landslide with the black vote. If you want a little education about politics, at least cheap political tactics, this is your man. In the end he did show you could win by being decent. In a strange way he may be a model some could learn from.

Southern Take on Election from Jim

Well-Billy Bob came to our little town yesterday--he was only two hours late--about 1,500 people showed up. This is a hugely republican town and county,but he was making stops in mid-size towns stumping for his wife. Bill Clinton did some good things for this country during his two terms--and I have defined him many times in conversations with my republican friends(just like you in Hazen)--but I cannot go along with the way they have tried to smear Obama. Lucy and I are firmly in Obams' camp--in fact Lucy has done some phone calling on his behalf. Both the woman and the man running for democratic governor have endorsed him--I think he will take N.C.This state has a big black population and areas like Raleigh and Charlotte have a big group of young,educated white people--these two factors should give him a win in North Carolina. I think it's significant that registration in N.C is up by almost 200,000 people--not only is this true around here,it's happening all over the country. I think at least 80% of these new registers are doing so to back Obama. The N.C republican party plans to begin running a smear add on TV next week--they are a mean and vicious bunch--I think they figure if Clinton can win N.C. and go on to win the nomination,their man can beat her in the national election--they don't want to run against Obama--they're afraid of him. If Obama does eventually get the nomination,the republicans will crucify him--he'll be called a Muslim,blasted because of his pastor,etc. It will be one of the dirtest campaings in history--I say bring them on!According to the weather man,I see you're finally getting a little rain---imporant for the ethanol farmers! Rain will also produce brush and cover for the birds. Tell Cissie I'm picking spinach for supper tonight. Stay in touch----Jim

Have a Big Nickel

My grandfather lived two houses away. In desperation Lord Kadizzle could always find some way to pry money out of the grandparents. Worst case scenario, you might have to cut the grass, or pick weeds, but sometimes if my grandfather was in a good mood, he would just pull a fifty cent piece out of his pocket, give it a spin as he tossed it and say "Here, have a big nickel ". As a five year old, this looked like money from heaven, but as an adult it is an insult when my government sends me a tax rebate for $1,200. It is an insult in many ways. First, am I really that stupid? My government is going to borrow money from me, and then give it to me as if it pulled a rabbit out of a hat? The $1,200 will just about put me back to where I would be without the new gas prices. What about the cost of food because of the ethanol debacle? Finally the total insanity of thinking this is going to stimulate the economy. What are most Americans going to do with the money? Run to Wal Mart and buy products from China? So it turns out if anyone benefits, it is China.

Can You Follow th e Bible?

It must be a symptom of getting old, Lord Kadizzle has been reading up on the Bible. Of course he would not go about it by actually reading the Bible. Instead he has read God Is Not Great, The God Dellusion, and now, A Year of Living Biblically.

What if you tried to do what the Bible tells you to do? You would have some serious problems. Among the many rules is the one where you have to wash after having sex? Lord Kadizzle thinks washing prior to sex makes more sense. The Commander now complains about too many showers, this could really set her off. According to the Bible you cannot wear anything with a blend of fibers. You could wear wool socks and cotton underwear, but a wool/cotton blend underwear would send you to hell. One of the biggest problems is all the people you are instructed to kill. You must stone adulters, kill homosexuals, and anyone who picks up sticks on Sunday.

It quickly becomes evident, what has been evident all along, people pick and choose what suits their needs. There are many more rules yet to be explored. The book moves along pretty good and has a good sense of humor. When a female clerk tries to give the author change, he instructs her to put the money on the counter. With an angry look, she does. The Bible says you are not allowed to touch a woman. Embarrassed the author tells the clerk he has a cold that he doesn't want her to catch. Now, he realizes he has just told a lie, you just can't win.

WWJD if he were Republican?

Milk the Fundies John McCain

Right-wing pastor John Hagee says Katrina was New Orleans' fault. John McCain sought out, and embraces, Hagee's support. MoveOn members are trying to deliver a petition to McCain in New Orleans just a few hours from now: will you sign?

Here's the background: McCain wants America to see him as a compassionate, mainstream politician. So he's going to New Orleans today for a photo-op in the 9th Ward.

But he's still trying to shore up his right-wing base—so this past Sunday, he again welcomed the support of right-wing evangelist John Hagee, who said "Hurricane Katrina was, in fact, the judgment of God against the city of New Orleans."1

MoveOn members in New Orleans have organized an emergency rally outside McCain's event today. With the media looking on, they'll try to deliver our petition asking him to stop pandering to right-wing bigots like Hagee. They'll announce an up-to-the-minute number of signatures, and we'll have a real impact if we can say that hundreds of thousands have signed in only a few hours.

Out Sourcing Debt Collection, the Bush economy at its best?

The NYT has an article today about outsourcing debt collectors. Imagine this, you are busted flat under the Bush economy and someone calls you from India, and tells you to pay up. Wow, under the current administration jobs leak out of the country like water through my socks, and the people who lost the jobs are harassed by the people in India who got the jobs. What will Bush think of next, tax breaks for the rich.

My Boss

Poor old Lord Kadizzle has worked for a lot of bosses, but none compare to the commander. Nothing goes unnoticed with The Commander. The worst part of working for The Commander is you can't get fired. Lord Kadizzle has tried. Apparently Lord Kadizzle as an employee is incapable of the most basic thinking. Every detail is shouted out by The Commander. Open the door, turn on the light, put the lid on, Lord Kadizzle cannot figure out the most basic things that a normal person might see on their own.

The classic example is the procedure for getting up everyday. We sleep with the window open. So everyday Lord Kadizzle gets up, and just like yesterday The Commander shouts "Close the window". Although she has said it every day since the Earth was formed, she says "Be sure to close it all the way". Lord Kadizzle knows the commands by heart, it is just like being on a sailing ship. The next command is "Open the window shades". There is a little pause, then The Commander says "All the way". As poor old Lord Kadizzle stumbles around and heads down the hall he knows the next command will come from The Commander. "Turn up the heat", followed by "All the way".

If Lord Kadizzle is lucky The Commander will stay in bed. Lately she has been reading in bed in the morning. This is a wonderful blessing because his lordship gets a chance to relax before morning orders start. However, to make this work Lord Kadizzle has to take coffee to The Commander. There are a whole series of commands barked out to manage the coffee delivery, but we need not go into them, they are all standard.

Since his lordship cannot make the simplest of decisions, The Commander decided it was not necessary for Lord Kadizzle to have a brain. Lord Kadizzle was taken to the doctor where a melon ball scoop was stuck in his ear. Most of the sawdust came out pretty easy. However, there is a small piece the size of pea that is still in there. it rolls around and is very annoying, but the blessing of not having to think makes Lord Kadizzle understand why people want to be Republicans.

Now for the amazing part. You have probably deduced Lord Kadizzle is an idiot. When something goes wrong at the Kadizzle household, who do you call. Thats right, "The Idiot". Computer problems are the exclusive domain of The Idiot, and of course all mechanical problems are handled by "The idiot". It's a tough life, but the food is good, and there are some great perks. The whole thing reminds Lord Kadizzle of the verse to a song " And that makes me, and it is plain to see, an idiot I suppose".

WRT will hold open free elections? or How the black man learned to read Chinese

Lord Kadizzle has been fighting with the local phone company to hold honest open elections for years. One of the things requested was voting by mail, normally this should be a simple process. With your phone bill you get a ballot, you fill it out and mail back the postage paid ballot. Pretty simple isn't it. However, it will be amazing if they actually make it work that way. More than likely you will have to take your passport to the phone company in Hazen, and have your fingerprints taken, then they will give a form which you will have to mail back, and then they will mail you a ballot. No one is running against their puppet Randy Christmann, so all of this isn't even necessary, but paranoia runs deep in this organization. Perhaps the snollygosters have someone else to protect.

It may turn out like the old elections in the south. In the old days the south came up with literacy test to keep black people from voting. One determined black man was determined to pass the test and vote. He studied day and night. On election day he went in to take his test. First the examiner asked him to say the Gettysburg Address backwards. To the amazement of the examiner he did. Next they asked him for the name of George Washington's horse. Again he got it right. After the examiner scratched his head he gave the black man a Chinese newspaper and told him to read it out loud. The black man took the newspaper and tried to read it. The poor fellow trying to vote said "I can't read the fine print, but I can see what the headline says". Astonished the examiner asked "What does the headline say?". The black man replied, "This is one black man that isn't going to vote this year".