Back to the prarie

Making the transition back to the prairie from Vermont just means reversing everything.  If the roads in Vermont are crooked, narrow and winding, then the roads in North Dakota are straight, level, and wide.  If everywhere you look in Vermont you see trees and forest, then just exchange the trees for wheat and pasture to get North Dakota.  Get out the iron, and Iron the hills out of Vermont.  Once you do, it might be as big as North Dakota.  In North Dakota you can always see ten or thirty miles.  In Vermont you might be able to see one mile.  Wood is scarce in North Dakota, and good wood is even more scarce.  In Vermont you cannot cut good wood down fast enough, so you have wonderful uses of wood.  We have stones, they have stones.  We pile ours up in a pile and let them ferment, but in Vermont they turn into stone fences and structures.  Our stones were dropped by glaciers, theirs came from crumbling mountains.

Both places have some wonderful peacefulness and solitude.  People are spread thin in North Dakota, but fairly evenly.  Vermont tends to congregate people along the streams and valleys.  The Kadizzles find themselves transitioning from three major ecoscapes, the plains, the desert, and the mountains.  One of the most amazing things about our country is the variety.  Try to think of a country with as many different ecosystems as the United States.  If you have not taken the time to get out and see your back yard, which is the whole country, you need to do it.  You will never get done.

Kadizzle has visted just about every part of the country except Hawaii.  If asked where you can see the most in the least area Kadizzle always says southern Utah.  More properly you might call it the four corners area.  If you go from Phoenix to Denver and take your time wandering you will get one hell of a bang for your bucks.  The Commander and Kadizzle have spent about 16 years checking out that general area and could easily spend another ten and not get done.

Soon it will be time for the fall transition to the southwest.  Again it will  be like landing on another planet.  Everything will be the same, but different.  In the meantime we have to do the fall transition.  That means put away the house, the garden, and put the unruly pheasants in the refrigerator.

Life is all about transitions.  From a man, to a husband, to a father, to a grandfather, from a worker to a retired person,  from a father to a father in law, from a learner to a teacher, from a young man to an old man.  The transitions are transitions of place, thought, and finally the great transition to the beyond.  Fall is a time of transition.  Fall can be approached in two ways in North Dakota.  First, you can hunker down and prepare for the blast from the arctic, or our preferred method is to run south as fast as you can.

The Commander will be a whirlwind of activity putting the garden to sleep, and going completely insane every time a leaf falls on the lawn.  Maybe a vistit to old Sandy's hunting lodge by his little lake.  It looks like Old Jim Riddle the southern gentleman is going to fly out for a pheasant hunt, and on it goes.  The Earth turns, the moon turns red every thirty years, and life goes on.

India goes to Vermont

While Megan was in India buying clothing for K Mart, Kadizzle asked her to get him a nice summer outfit.  Kadizzle got to try on his new duds in Vermont for the first time.

Merging Tribes

It must have been like this long ago when the tribes gathered. People from distant places agreed to meet and further the common good.  As we sit early in the day in Vermont in preparation for the upcoming mother of all weddings we can reminisce about the tribes meeting in the old days.

Delegates from California, West Virginia, North Dakota, and other far flung locations have come together to merge the two families.  Histories will combine and so will the gene pools.  When people meet new ideas and technologies emerge.  The history of humanity has been alliances made and reformed.

When two hives of different bees are put together there is a process. One hive is separated from the other by a layer of newspaper.  By the time the bees eat through the news paper they are used to the smell and goings on of their new neighbors.

Fortunately there is a little different process for humans.  People share food, stories, and drinks, they dance, and share customs.  They come to understand one another.  In the Kadizzle tribe and the new tribe we are merging with there is a Jewish tradition.  The Commander is of Jewish Heritage and she married a goyem.  A goyem is a non Jew.  Kadizzle is a goy.  By Jewish custom the mother passes on the heritage, so for better or worse Kadizzle's children are technically Jewish.

Sam, Megan's new husband on Saturday is also from a mixed marriage of goy and Jewish heritage.  Sam's mother was Catholic, and Sam's father is purebred Jewish.

In respect to the Jewish wing of the new tribe Kadizzle helped erect the Chuppah.

The Chuppa symbolizes the new home of the couple. Megan and Sam will take their vows under the Chuppah.  Symbolically it is a statement welcoming people to their new life and home.  The sheet represents protection from above.  Kadizzle has had many blessings in his life, but when his daughters married good men, it was a joy hard to exceed.  Erin married Fran, a nice young man raised in the Catholic faith.  One can readily see that mixing and matching is a strong point of the Kadizzle Klan.  Someday we can hope that the people of the middle east can embrace the merging of tribes and the happiness we have here can spread everywhere. 

It is hard to kiss the lips at night that chew your ass out all day long.

The Lord will provide

Listen carefully and you will find out how "The Lord will provide".  Often the Lord works in strange ways.

Where the rhododendrons grow

I want to wake up in the morning,
Where the rhododendrons grow,
Where the sun comes a creepin‟, into where I'm sleepin‟
And the song birds say hello.
I want to wander thru the wildwood,
Where the fragrant breezes blow,
And drift back to the mountains,
Where the rhododendrons grow.
I want to climb up in the mountains,
Where the rhododendrons grow
Where the Lord is so near me, when I breathe he can hear me,
And the whole world sings below.
I want to lay down all my burdens
And forget my worldly woe;
And stay here in West Virginia,
Where the rhododendrons grow.

Kadizzle is a hillbilly, no matter what you cannot rinse the hills out of him. So many times when the gang gets together around the campfire we have to break out into this song. 

It is not that scary, In fact it looks pretty good

Kadizzle is spending his first day in the kingdom of his hero Bernie Sanders.  This is the first time ever Kadizzle has visited a socialist state in the United States.  The sun is shining brightly.  There does not seem to be little if any slumming.  People seem happy and prosperous. Not at all sure what is so scary about socialism.  The people all seem happy and hard working. What do they know that the rest of the United States cannot figure out.  Why did these happy people elect a socialist?

When you visit a placer that embraces the world differently, and it works, it is a lesson in life.  Europeans have an entirely different social system and view on life, it works.  When you visit any area or place one thing you cannot help but notice is how income disparity works out.  In the United States you can drive through the south, the big cities, and urban areas and see that the cake is not divided evenly.

Although people fear the concept of socialism, and sharing the question might be why?  When people share, things like extreme poverty tend to disappear.  Why would people fear that?  Fear is a motivator. People carry guns because of fear.  What do you fear? You fear someone is going to come get your stuff.  It is really very simple.  Why would people come get your stuff if they have their own stuff?  So if you make sure people have their own stuff, they will leave your stuff alone.  That is what socialism is.  It is making sure everyone has enough stuff so you don't have to live in a world of stuff stealers.

Of course the argument is, "Well if you make people comfortable, and you don't make them work, everything will fall apart". Visit any country that is more socialist than the United States. Did it fall apart?  Did Canada fall apart because of good health care?  Did all the European countries that have embraced socialism fall apart?  No, the reality is most of the countries that embrace sharing have a higher level of education, less crime, less gun violence, more upward mobility, and on it goes.  Reality just does not match the Fox News, Rush Limbaugh party line.

Often people forget to compare reality with perception.  Kadizlle and The Commander visited Costa Rica.  Costa Rica has no military.  Think of the savings.  The people are happy, no one came in and snatched their country.  The people are the friendliest in the world, and their health care is excellent.

Selling fear is a major project in our country.  Someone is always after us.  Fox News thrives on selling fear.  Insurance companies sell fear.  Does the fear match the reality.  Are terrorist really going to kill us? No, cancer, and heart attacks are going to kill us first.  Car wrecks are going to kill us.  We could have a transportation system that would be much safer, but it is much more fun to be afraid of terrorist. What fun is cancer research?  A terrorist bomb makes great news, but a breakthrough in cancer research is pretty boring

Today's assignment is to ask yourself " What drives my thoughts?".   Are my thoughts driven by reality, or misperception.  Who knows, but give it a try.

Where in the Hell is Kadizzle

Kadizzle sits here looking out the window at a ski slope with no snow.  After leaving the prarie yesterday on the big bird Kadizzle and her eminence The Commander flew thought the skies for hours.  Then drove through the forest for hours.  From New York to Vermont on twisty back roads, on and on.  Convoluted directions finally got us here, but where are we.  We are somewhere near Bennington, Vermont.  This is all for Cheech's wedding.

In way way it all seemed so familiar.  Kadizzle grew up driving on hillbilly roads.  West Virginia used to take great pride in having the highest death rate per capita from driving deaths.  In North Dakota if you go off the road your radiator gets plugged with wheat.  In West Virginia or Vermont you go off the road and end up dead with a tree in your lap.

However, if you grew up in West Virginia, and lived you were qualified for just about every type of road race imaginable. Kadizzle even got the highest certification from the hills. Kadizzle is an expert mud driver.  Since Kadizzle spent time driving through rivers and rutted mud roads he mastered all road surfaces.  Add another fifteen years driving in a surface coal mine through the mud and you have it all.  At any rate here we are.

So it is a sunny day, and  we are off to see the great location where Cheech will soon become Mrs. Cheech.

The Two Brightest Stars in the Sky, and one little one that shines

If old Kadizzle had to count his blessings his two daughters would be on the list, and certainly the grand daughter would too.  It is bragging time, or perhaps appreciation time, so if you don't want some syrup, and a sentimental old man, then go watch TV.

Many moons ago our first child The Snoocher Bear was born (Erin).  She became The Snoocher Bear because we loved to give her a snookle.  A snookle is when you take your little two year old and hug and kiss her when she comes in your room in the morning.  At first she was a Sneech.  You remember the Sneeches on the beaches in the Dr Suess books? Somehow when you give a Sneech a snookle, they become a snooch.  If you are hugging and kissing a chubby little snooch it is easy to see how it could become a Snoocher Bear.  Sometimes the Snoocher Bear is J. Bear Jones.  This is a whole different story. Kadizzle used to get in trouble with a guy named Jones, that is where the J. Bear Jones comes from.

OK, that brings us to the second great hatch, Cheech.  Cheech has had so many nick names it is hard to remember them all.  Once she was the Pie Monkey.  Cheech (Megan) used to love pie as a little one.  When Cheech is not Cheech, she is Bee Bumble Bee, or just Bee Bumble for short.  Bee Bumble got that name when she was pricked by a feather.  Bee Bumble as a tiny little thing got a prick from a feather that came part way through a pillow.  Bee Bumble somehow thought she got stung, and seemed to always be concerned about stinging insects.

The Snoocher Bear was an amazing athlete, and scholar.  It was the worst scare of our lives when the Snoocher Bear lost a kidney in a basketball accident.  To everyone's amazement the old Snooch jumped right up and the next spring was winning track meets again with her hurtling.  The Snooch was Queen of her class, and graduated first or second, and went on to one of the top ten schools in the country.  Again she was outstanding, and never called home begging for money.  Another major accomplishment was she never had her own car until she graduated from college.  After college she nailed an excellent job as a manager, for a large company in Chicago.  She did not want that life, but found what she did want in her wonderful husband Fran.  The Snooch became a representative for states, cities, countries, and other public entities. Her career blossomed.  The talent of the Snoocher Bear is her writing ability.  This along with her management skills has kept her going strong.  Like her sister Cheech she has always had a thirst for learning, and been a very kind person.  Currently Erin is helping immigrant families adjust to life in our country.  To top it all off Erin is a consummate piano player, and hacks away at the violin.

Erin's greatest accomplishment was with Fran.  Together they designed Sylvie.  The Commander, and Kadizzle were with Fran and Erin the day they went to pick up their new design.  The took Erin in a room to look over the prototypes.  The next thing we knew Fran came out of the room where they put Sylvie together and held the little bundle in his arms.  The Kadizzles were delighted with the creation.

Now the happy threesome reside in Denver, and Erin is a public relations person for a children's hospital. Fran travels the world making life safe for Microsoft, and other companies to launch new products.

What about Cheech? Like her sister the Cheech turned out to be amazing. First lets deal with her current title Cheech.  Once upon a time mom, dad, and Megan were watching a movie.  A character in the movie was a drag queen named Cheechi.  Well somehow Megan got the name Cheechi.

Megan was born a very creative child.  Megan could draw anything, sculpt anything, or create anything she wanted.  This talent seemed to come out of the sky, but she did have two grand mothers that went to some of the best art schools in the country.  Somehow it got passed on.

If Cheech decides something is going to happen, you can count on it.  Cheech was the leader that brought her dance team to fame in high school.  She would get up at six in the morning march to school and whip the winners into action.  When Megan decided art was her forte, stand back.  Getting into the best art schools in the country when you are from Hazen, North Dakota is no simple task. Hazen did not even have an art program, but with her determination Megan put together and art portfolio and the rest is history. Megan was accepted to every major art school except the Rohde Island School of design.  Cheech settled on MICA, a school in Baltimore where she flourished.  Megan, like Erin, also has a kind heart and while at school working at a food establishment she took the homeless the leftovers every night.

When Megan wanted a job she got it.  I don't think there was ever a job Megan wanted that she did not get. Once she got a job designing video graphics.  Like her sister Megan can learn anything, and do it quickly. Cheech did some of the graphics for a major video game maker.

Cheech's real passion was clothing design.  Off to New York the old Cheech went to start her own company.   Her company had fashions in some major magazines, but the fashion business takes a lot of cheese to get going.  Not to be discouraged Cheech got on with Macy's and they loved her, but she did not love them after about five years and a little frustration. Cheech jumped ship and now is doing work for K-Mart in New York.  Kadizzle is confident Cheech will keep percolating to the top.

Today The Commander, and Kadizzle will hop aboard the big bird and head for Cheech's wedding to Sam.
Like her sister Cheech found a wonderful guy.  It will be a marvelous gathering of the tribe.  There will be one happy, thankful dad, and mom there for sure.

A Little Bit of Everythng

OK, boys and girls you assignment today is to listen to this song.  Kadizzle quickly got addicted to it. The song sums up life so well and so succinctly. A guy is getting ready to jump of the Golden Gate bridge, and the police pull up and ask why are you doing it.  His answer is "It is a little bit of everything".

Listen carefully, as the jumper says, it is the biscuits and the beans, it is a little bit of everything.  So many songs sum things up much better than any other format. You get the emotion of the music and the philosophy condensed to it's simplest form.

So many people let the words pass by to quickly, but my old buddy Chuck and I sat at my kitchen table and listened last Sunday.  Chuck had just come back from church.  We discussed the song and a few other things it seemed like a church service in itself.  Some song writers have a knack for getting it right on the money.  If you are not a John Prine fan, then you owe it to yourself to be one.  So many times when Kadizzle gets lost in life he simply sits and listens to the wisdom of Leonard Cohen, John Prine, or Bob Dylan.  Some day if the notion every comes to reality Kadizzle is going to plagiarize a story.  The idea sits in the cobwebs of his head, but the deed has not been done. The idea is to write a story by pasting together the words from different songs.  It will be the ultimate crossword puzzle.

What makes you depressed, what makes you happy?  It is a little bit of everything, the biscuits and the beans.  Life does not have one big answer, it is a little bit of everything.

A strange combination I never could have percieved

One of the best things about life is the strange twist it takes.  Today Time Magazine came to our home. On the cover was Bernie Sanders. The news is splattered with the coming of the Pope. If there was ever a person who had a difficult saying anything good about popes, it was old Kadizzle.  Right now the fates of the universe have merged.  Two people bring Kadizzle more hope than any others,  The Pope, and Bernie. Bernie was a shoe in, but Kadizzle never thought he could have anything good to say about a Pope.  Both Bernie and the Pope have confronted the uncontrolled greed of capitalism.

Finally we have a Pope that embraces the reality of poverty, and what causes it. Finally we have a candidate for president that has the guts to tell it like it is.  Perhaps the confluence will produce a long needed miracle. The fact that of all people the Pope has called out those who think unbridled greed is the answer to everything, is in and of itself a miracle.  What if other religious leaders would actually become leaders?  What if all the timid little men who now preach would get the courage to actually explain to their congregations what Christianity really means?

Back to Bernie.  Hillary is just the same old, same old.  Kiss the right butts, don't take any chances, say the right things. Bernie is thriving on the fact that nobody is going to own him. If young people get the fire lit, we could have an America again that belongs to everyone, not just the privileged few.

As a child of the 60's it was possible to see what people could do when they rebelled. Young people rebelled against an insane war the wanted to kill them for profit. Young people had nothing to lose. As the old song says "When you got nothing, you got nothing to lose ".  When you are 35 sitting in your mom and dad's basement playing video games, you got nothing to lose.  Revolution and rebellion are born from discontent. Slowly people are beginning to realize the Wall Street bunch has stolen the future and it is time to take it back.

We will never get back to the time when there was hope until we go back to the time before hope was stolen. Hope was stolen with trickle down economics, the busting of the unions, and the belief that more was more, and you always had to have more. Once there was a time in our country when we built bridges, went to the moon, built dams and took pride in the public schools, but now we take pride in our ignorance. The United States is not number one in education, our poverty rate stinks compared to any other modern nation, we have the worst wage disparity, we have a dysfunctional government the preys on stupidity. We have pissed away trillions on military insanity, while we fail to take care of our own people.

It the Pope or Bernie simply wake up the sleeping giant that has become fat, lazy, and addicted to cheap sound bites they will have done us a great service.  As a country we have found a new form of idiocy.  We love to be afraid. We are afraid of all the silly terrorist.  Oh, my god, they are everywhere, and we must arm ourselves to the teeth to defend against the Muslims.  Meanwhile our schools rot, we are really being killed by gun violence, cancer, and heart attacks because we are such hopeless lards.  We have become addicted to easy.  Want to retire, buy some lottery tickets.  Want to read something? Hell no, lets watch football and let Fox News fill us full of shit.  Lets vote for the same old same old that has created the current mess of inaction.

Cutting the tail off of the dog

The story turns and twist, and it would burn up a lot words to tell the whole tale.  A few weeks back The Commander and Kadizzle were returning from the lake.  As circumstance would have it a truck pulled out ahead of us as we approached the left turn to Hazen.  It was a special truck and it was headed towards Hazen also.  The truck was special because it was the center of the solar system for the small mind that was driving it.  The truck was special because it had two large chrome stacks jutting up right behind the cab.  Every time the proud owner shifted gears an unimaginable cloud of the blackest smoke rose to the sky.  It seemed the dolt had rigged the truck so he could actually inject raw fuel into the exhaust just to create the maximum violation of every pollution law in the universe.  The poor dolt seemed to be addicted to attention at any cost.

Later the same day Kadizzle realized the dolt driving the truck liked to enhance his ability to offend the universe by driving around town, squealing his wheels, and making all the noise he could.  Kadizzle asked a local police officer why he did not confront the dolt.  Well, the officer did confront the dolt, and the dolt figured out it was Kadizzle who pointed him out.

It was not long before the dolt and Kadizzle had a confrontation on the street in front of the Kadizzle home at 1:00 A.M.  Kadizzle made it a point to use social media to point out to everyone in town who the dolt was. Part of the description of the dolt involved his shiny smokestacks on the dolt mobile.

To conserve words Kadizzle will leave out a lot of the story and skip ahead.  Yesterday Kadizzzle had to get some antifreeze for the boat.  At the local Cenex store who would Kadizzle run into but the local dolt.  However, there was something strange about the doltmobile.  Kadizzle noticed that the pride and joy of doltdom, the shiny smokestack were painted black.  Yup, it appeared the wonderful chrome smokestacks designed to give the whole world the finger had received a terrible paint job of black spray paint.

Kadizzle figured it would be a great opportunity to get a picture of the doltmobile in full daylight, so Kadizzle tried to take a picture without being noticed by the dolt.  Kadizzle got carried away trying to improve the picture, and the dolt took notice. " Why are you taking my picture?".  The dolt demanded.   Kadizzle explained to the dolt that a truck just like his had caused a massive disturbance on his street about two weeks ago.   The dolt said " It was not me".   Although it was with great certainty it was the dolt, Kadizzle said " Oh, I am sorry if I made a mistake, and confused you with the idiot that drove down my street and tried to intimidate me".

With the dolt was a passenger that actually seemed to have some brain cells firing.  On the nice sunny day the passenger and Kadizzle ended up in a conversation about vandalism in town, and the need for a recreation center, and how to raise money for a recreation center.  The young guy seemed way to intelligent to be riding shotgun in a doltmobile.  The dolt was in a pickle.  The dolt had to pretend like he was not the dolt.  He had just denied being the dolt.  So the dolt sort of stood by the dolt mobile and was forced to hear Kadizzle tell his friend many of the things he wanted to tell the dolt.  In the end it seemed like the classic " All is well that ends well".   Only time will tell if there is dolt revenge.

We are living in a strange new world of social media.  Social medial let everyone in town know who the dolt was.  The dolts reaction was to disguise the doltmobile by painting the huge smoke stacks black.  You could put a pink hat on an elephant, but most people would still know it was an elephant.  This might work if there were lots of elephants in town, but when you have the only elephant in town and put a pink hat on your elephant it does not do much good.  The poor dolt, it is almost sad, his only claim to fame was shooting black smoke out his exhaust pipe, and making lots of noise. Now the tail of the dog has been cut off and the dog has nothing to wag.

Hazen is plagued with a small group of apprentice dolts.  They have nothing to do.  They have no future.  The dolts favorite pastime is making their mating call.  The dolts think if they drive through town, squeal their tires, and roar their engines, female dolts will come out and beg to have sex with them.  If it does work we will have a whole new crop of dolts.  Deep in their minds even the dolts know what a hopeless position they are in.  We live in a technological age.  There is not much demand for people who can make noise and drive,  unless you want to be a truck driver.   However, to even be a truck driver you have to have a clean drug record, and no DUI's.   So what is left for the dolts to do?  Well, a life of crime might work.  Retail crime selling drugs is one way out.  For short term cash there is always robbery.  Much to their credit our local dolts have been pursuing the new career path both ways.

Having just finished a nice morning shower the thought occurred to Kadizzle "What if the dolt reads this?".  It could be immense fun.  The dolt will approach Kadizzle and menacingly say, " I saw what you wrote about me, and you better remove it".  Ah, what an opening.  Kadizzle then can say, " I never wrote about you, I wrote about an idiot, are you an idiot?".   Will the dolt respond " You know damn well I am the idiot you wrote about".  Then Kadizzle gets to say " Well I am very sorry, if you thought you were the idiot I had in mind, there are lots of idiots, and I know it must be embarrassing to get confused with other idiots ".

It ain't no use to sit and wonder why babe

Life is full of little instances where a simple solution sits there smiling at someone, but they just refuse to acknowledge it.  A guy comes in the door with an extra large pizza.  There are eight people, and eight slices of pizza. The guy who brought the pizza explains that he will eat seven pieces of pizza, and the other seven people can cut up one slice into tiny pieces and eat it.

The reaction of the seven people who are going to eat the tiny little pieces is " Are you crazy?". " Let me explain" says the guy who brought the pizza. " I brought the pizza, there would be no pizza if it were not for me, so you are damn lucky to get any".   This is how capitalism works.  The seven hungry people ignore the obvious, and acquiesce.  The fat guy who brought the pizza tells them that if they work hard someday they will be able to eat seven pieces of pizza and give one away.

So we live in a world with plenty of pizza, but people are starving. We accept an insane pizza distribution system, but we buy into a crazy fantasy that there will be a day when everyone has seven pieces of pizza and no one has to eat tiny pieces of pizza.  We buy into the idea that the best way to supply pizza to the world is to let one guy eat seven slices.  Of course this is all insane, and totally crazy, but it gets sold, and simple mined people buy the idea. We live in a world of plenty, yet so many don't have plenty.

To top this all off the fat guy who is going to eat the seven pieces of pizza has convinced the other seven that sharing the pizza more equally would be a terrible thing.  He explains that if he just shared the pizza correctly it would be bad for everyone.  No one would work hard to be a fat selfish guy, and fat selfish guys would not bring pizza to anyone's house.

"Wait" exclaims a small slicer, What if we all got together and baked a big pizza, then we shared the big pizza among us?"

No, no, no the fat guy says. That would be socialism, or communism.  You would have to live under a dictatorship, and you could not have guns, or Jesus.  "Wow, that makes sense" the small slicer says. "Sharing leads to a disaster".

"Of course" says the fat guy".

So everybody sits in the kitchen nibbling away at their little piece of pizza, and thanking the fat guy. The fat guy smiles at them and tells them " Someday maybe you can work hard, inherit a lot of money, learn to be immoral, and be a fat guy eating so much pizza it kills you." 

Outlaw idiots, Not guns

It has been the goal of Kadizzle to stay away from politics in this blog, but the devil just got hold of me.  This morning The Commander sent Lord Kadizzle to the hardware store to buy some new locks for the doors. With the vandal war winding down we have ramped up our security.

As the Yamaha steed pulled up to the hardware store there was a big blumper with his wife also going to the hardware store.  The wife was about two axe handles across the ass and told the blumper she had to get in the store quick because a bee was after her.  Apparently the bee did not need any hardware and it all worked out fine.

Now the big blumper was outside admiring the lawnmowers on the sidewalk.  What caught Kadizzles eye was the T shirt.  On the back of the T shirt it said " Outlaw idiots, not guns".   Kadizzle desperately wanted to ask the idiot if he knew what he was advocating might cause him a problem.  The blumper looked like a guy who was an idiot with a gun.

The devil in Kadizzle started to rage and the urge to talk to the blumper was hard to suppress.  What Kadizzle wanted to say to the blumper was " If they outlaw idiots, how will we ever get a Republican elected?".  The blumper looked just like the kind of guy who would think Obama was a muslim and a secret agent from Kenya.  It would be fun to tease the blumper, but the results might not turn out well.

In a Town This Size

John Prine has a song " In a town this size"

In a town this size there's no place to hide
Everywhere you go, you meet someone you know
You can't steal a kiss in a place like this
How the rumors do fly in a town this size

In a smoky bar
In the backseat of your car
In your own little house
Someone's sure to find you out

What you do and what you think
What you eat and what you drink
If you smoke a cigarette
They'll be talkin' about your breath

In a town this size there's no place to hide
Everywhere you go, you meet someone you know
You can't steal a kiss in a place like this
How the rumors do fly in a town this size

Oh, I had a fight with my girlfriend last night
Before the moon went down, it was all over town
How he made me cry, how I said good-bye
If it's true or not doesn't seem to count a lot

In a town this size there's no place to hide
Everywhere you go, you meet someone you know
You can't steal a kiss in a place like this
How the rumors do fly in a town this size

In the middle of the night The Commander asked Kadizzle " Are you awake?".   Unable to sleep we conversed in bed about the local vandal network.  In a town the size of Hazen the network of degenerates is not too hard to sift out.  Hazen is maybe 2,500 people or so.  Throw out all the old people, throw out the little kids, throw out the people who have a decent job and work, throw out the normal families, and you just have a small hand full of potential miscreants.  You could print out a little map of Hazen and circle the nests of mischief.  You could draw lines from one nest to the next and see how they interconnect.  Once you get to the intermingling things start to emerge.  You begin to see patterns.  Age is one thing that quickly enters into the analysis.  The oldest misfits usually are younger than forty.  The old ones have had time to reproduce and with them are the children left over from misfired relationships.  So now you have young apprentice degenerates.  The ones in that age group from 20 to 25 are the failures to launch.  Their main goal is to drive around town, make a lot of noise, get drunk or drugged, and defy the reality that they are broke, uneducated, and in a hopeless state.  The older degenerates are the idols of the ones still in high school.  The older ones supply the beer, the drugs, and give the younger ones a glimpse of what is in store for them. Finally you get to the saddest bunch of all, the little ones.  The little ones are like crumbs on the plate.  The little ones are the kids in fifth and sixth grade who stay home with no mother while dad is drunk at the bar. 

Most amazing is how quickly you can get to know the ins and outs of the network.  The younger ones have no sense of privacy and will spill the beans very quickly.  Years ago it was hard to imagine Hazen had such an underbelly, but now oil has done it's magic.  The oil boom west of Hazen has spilled into town.  Desperate people have come to try to hit gold.  With them comes all their problems.  One unique aspect of the imports is what they get sent from home.  Among the local problem children there is a special group.  Kadizzle has found about three of these specials.  Here is how it works.  A kid in California is in a mess with a messed up life and family. The kid is in trouble. What is left of his family has a solution.  Ship the kid to Hazen where his uncle is making oil money. The police and social workers in California like it.  Now Hazen has a professional big town degenerate spreading the worst culture in the country to small town Hazen.  Of course the uncle in Hazen has no vested interest in supervising the young criminal he is harboring. So the kid roams free showing the local kids how crime is done in the big city. 

Once the kid gets caught by the local law enforcement, guess what?  The kid gets shipped to another uncle or back to the original garden of evil where by now they forgot about how messed up he was. 

Well the morning is going on and it is time to wrap this up.  The long and short of it is that finding a needle in a haystack is difficult, but finding a needle in the sewing drawer doesn't take much.  In Hazen you could probably sift out about twenty hardcore people very easily.  You could know them, watch them like hawks, see how they interact, and keep the lid on them.  The school system could work on the problem,  the police could get off their ass, the social system could do something, and the almighty churches could actually do what they preach and help these kids.  However, this is America, and "It ain't my problem".

Can You Wash Your Sins Away?

Our entire existence depends on the magic of water. Water is a solvent. Water dissolves and carries away.  Kadizzle's first act today was to take a nice hot shower.  Tight muscles relax, and the sudden warm and wonderful feeling of warm water washed a lot of sins off him. Sins are like stains and it takes hot water and good soap to get rid of them.

The warm water feels so good, but it brought to mind the shock of cold water. When Kadizzle jumped off his boat into the water on Tuesday to trailer his boat, the cold water at first was a shock, but that shock was a wake up.  Water has the quality of suddenly changing one's mental attitude. After awhile what was a shock was refreshing.  We have all had the experience of a dose of water thrown in our face.  Instantly you are different.

The symbolism of baptism seems profound when you think about the power of water.  You cannot look anywhere on the planet without seeing how water has moved everything.  Water takes it's time. Walking in canyons 900 feet deep and three feet wide you have to admire water for getting things done.  Water has plenty of time, and it some to make the Grand Canyon, but it got done. No one has ever stopped water from getting home to the ocean.

If you disassembled us, most of what you would have is water.  Water carries things. Water carries heat, cold, bacteria, death, life, and coffee. Water does everything. Water makes electricity, floats boats, puts out fires, cleans the dishes, and flushes out people.  Given the magic of water perhaps it can wash sins away.

Playing with the vandals.

Some people set a game camera out in the woods to see the big buck.  My goal is to catch degenerates. It works, and it is fun.  Degenerates are not a real bright species.  Degenerates attract their mates by driving big loud pickup trucks.  My favorite degenerate has his noisy pickup truck equipped with huge silver exhaust pipes that shoot up right behind the cab.  Every time James M. shifts gears a larger cloud than a coal fired freight train could shoot up emits from his truck. It is like his brain cells just shoot right out his exhaust. James M passed the idiot test with flying colors. Because I asked the police to confront him about his obnoxious behavior, James got his idiot club together and decided to do a southern style confederate flag parade down my street at one in the morning.  They made the noise and roared their mating noise with the engines.  They forgot the flags, but I still think they can get their redneck certification.

The simple minded dingers made a critical mistake. In fact they made two.  First they made their mating call coming down my street. This meant I had ample time to catch the dingers.  Secondly they were picked up on my game camera.  Being completely crazy I ran out in the street in my underwear and stood in front of the brave James M. so he had too run me over or let me carefully get his license number.  At any rate that was more or less how the range war started.

Now, back to the security.  I hope the simple minded brave truck men are not reading this, but I am going to reveal some classified information.  It is always fun to shop the local thrift store.  The other day Kadizzle came across two alarm clocks.  The clocks look just like security cameras.  Old Kadizzle thought it might be fun to put them out as such.  One is on the mailbox, and the other on the back porch.  They seem to be working.  The one on the back porch is plugged in, and the flashing of 12:oo seems to be scaring the vandals away.  Kadizzle can just imagine one of the idiots getting close enough to see the fake camera flashing twelve.  The poor degenerate will be so puzzled.  The one on the mailbox has a cord running into another box.  This might mystify the idiots.  It does nothing, but so does the brain of a brave goofy truck driver.  The fake cameras are bait, however there are a couple real ones.

The dolts ran over my mailbox about a week ago.  Unfortunately the camera did not catch the action. Now the mailbox has a special surprise for the midnight mailman.  The mailbox has to be hit from the right direction. Last time they came from the east and drove up in the yard to hit the mailbox. Hopefully they will take this route the next time.  A careful trap has been planted that will drive a steel fence post through their floorboards.  The trap from the west is less effective and will not be nearly as much fun as the eastern approach. The only prize from the west is the steel spike you can see in the picture. With luck it might bring them joy.   Kadizzle does have have a problem. The vandals need to know to use the eastern approach.  It may be necessary to post a sign at the beginning of our dead end street.  The sign will read " Please run over mailbox from the east only", or maybe it will be a European sign with a slash running through it and west printed on it with a car hitting a mailbox. The fine for hitting a mailbox is $250,000.  That is a lot of cash to destroy my junk mail.  The dinger could also get five years in jail.  That is a high price to pay for destroying the Dollar Saver.  The poor dinger will be embarrassed when the the thugs in prison ask " What are ya in for".  The poor degenerate will have to answer " I assaulted a mailbox, and lost, my car was wrecked in the process".  In prison hopefully the fellow will learn how to properly be a criminal and possibly make money at it. That is why we need a good education system in our prisons to rehabilitate mailbox killers into highly paid bank robbers or internet fraud people.

Raising the Titanic would have been easier.

The good Ship Sovereign must have regretted ending the summer sailing season early.  Getting the boat out was the worst ever.  Why? For some strange reason the boat would not go all the way on the trailer. Taking a sailboat out of the water on Lake Sakakawea is like no other place. People from real marinas are amazed to see how we do it.  At a real marina a big boat lift comes over and straddles your boat.  The boat lift simply lifts the boat out of the water and puts it on a cradle.

Not here.  On our lake you back the trailer down to the water.  You extend the extender.  That is the device that gives you an extra 40 feet of ability to push the trailer in the water.  Now you have a trailer in the water you pretty much cannot see.  This makes a great game of getting the keel right in the middle of the trailer.  You have marked the trailer corners with long pieces of PVC pipe.  This is so you can guess where it is.  You ram your boat into the wrong place and scratch it a few times.  Finally you think the damn thing is on.

At this point old Kadizzle is different.  Kadizzle jumps in the water and looks to see the keel is up against the stop. The cold water is a shock.  Well let's give it a try.  Keep in mind the trailer is on a ramp at an angle.  The boat is floating level. This means two angels must come together.  As the boat comes out of the water it slips backwards. This is the curse.  Like dumbass Kadizzle thought he might be able to duplicate the trick he did last year.  With everything wet he got some momentem with the boat on the trailer and slammed on the brakes.  Last year the boat moved forward the four inches needed.  This year the boat would not move.

This is were the brilliance set in.  Like a complete dolt Kadizzle set out to move the boat into position on the trailer the easy way.  The easy way turned out to be dangerous, stupid, and a waste of time.  With two jacks Kadizzle, Rodger, and Warren tried to push the boat back.  After wasting considerable time, and taking a chance something would fly loose and strike someone, the reality struck. We had to put the boat back in the water. This meant the whole damn procedure all over again.  Get the extender, switch the balls, block the trailer, extend the extender, jump in the water, and shit it just goes on.

Well after a whole lot of fooling around on the second try the boat sat correctly on the trailer. The boat is out and Kadizzle is exhausted.  If you have something big you want moved give us a call. We will do it the dumb way first, and you get to watch, then we will do it right.  You may have a pile of rubble when we are finished, but it will get done.

The Summer Game is over

The good ship sits at the dock waiting to come out of the water. Unloading the boat before it is hauled on shore for the winter is a task.  One or two pickup loads should do it.  Rearranging junk from summer to winter is a perennial job.  All the camping and hiking jazz has to make the transition.  Electronics alone is amazing.  Batteries, battery chargers, cords,  GPS chargers, radio equipment and chargers, and hundreds of cords that go with everything.  Now all the crap that was in the boat will be stuffed into the camper.

Hunting is just around the corner.  That means all the shotgun stuff, boots, jackets, shotgun shells, vest, radios, and one more round of junk movement.  It all gives you a sense of what it was like when the Indians broke camp.

Sheltered in Heaven Bay

Up early with a cloudy day on hand.  Wind seems from the northwest.  Pat got up early and hit the lake for the sail back to the marina.  The Commander and Kadizzle are enjoying morning coffee with excellent internet service.  Hopefully we can get going quickly.  Yesterday was a hard chug into the wind most of the day.  About twelve miles were a decent reach with speeds hitting a steady six knots or better, but once the Sovereign rounded the point to go east it was a tight beat right into the wind.  Sailing into the wind all day is a slog so the Sovereign pulled into Indian Hills for a rest.  Paul came down to have a beer with us and we sat in the warm sun out of the gale for awhile.

Warren, and Pat skipped Indian Hills and went strait on to Heaven Bay.  Should not say straight, a sailboat rarely makes a straight line anywhere.  The Sovereign made it on almost one tack over to Heaven Bay. With all the crews tired we skipped the campfire and just had a gab session on the boats tied together back in the womb of Heaven Bay.

To go East or West that is the question.

If you look closely you can see the boat over The Commander's right shoulder. After a windy night with ropes squeaking and waves slapping the hull this is where we awakened.  Three other boats in our fleet joined us and the campfire was excellent. The Commander was amazed Kadizzled lived through a whole large bottle of kangaroo wine.  Amazing to sit in such a remote place and be on the internet.  Coffee is a must for the wake up routine. The Commander is pouring the second cup. Rodger is out walking the beach and the empty chairs are surrounding the dead camp fire.  Soon some big dicisions will be made.  Will the fleet continue west or head back to the marina.  Eveyone wants to go west, but the winds may leave us many miles up the Missouri with the prospect of motoring back.  Motoring forty miles at five knots is a long trip.

Hiking the shores of the third largest man made lake in the United States

Sitting in Butcher Bay the Kadizzles just finished their baptism.  The water is cool, but being clean on a sunny day with birthday suits freshly pressed is hard to beat.  Sovereign is sitting in a very unusual spot. As near as the Captain can tell it is the only spot on the huge lake were you can be beached on the south of a beach, and walk north 200 feet and be back in the main lake.  Yesterday we were at a similar place but it was back in a bay.                      
Yesterday we hiked all over the area around Fossil Bay.  Looking at the picture on the upper right you will notice a large rock by the boat.  The rock has the shape of a huge tree, and a very strange fossilized pattern. The pattern looks like some ancient tree bark.  If indeed it is a tree it was one of the largest every on Earth.  On the other hand perhaps it was the skin of some incredibly large animal.  Today we revisited an old steamer trunk that may have served as a coffin for a child, or has some other significant meaning. It is burried on a high bluff over looking the lake.  Yesterday we visited an Indian cemetery on the North side.  Besides a couple of people named Plenty Wise there were two graves of infants that mush have died at birth. Indian graves are interesting. Relatives and friends left the children a water bottle, toys, and other items a baby might need.

Fall Sailing is hard to beat.

Yesterday at the Commander's insistence we made the trip to the lake to clean the good ship Sovereign. With the boat pressure washed for the first time in a thousand years it looks like we may be able to head west today.  This time of year you don't have to contend with the heat.  The water stays warm enough for a swim, or to dive in and get a regulator. Last weekend the Commander dropped the regulator for the gas grill on the back of the boat into about 15 feet of water. Reluctantly Kadizzle had to dive down and retrieve it.

If all goes well we may end up in Moose Bay today.  Maybe the moose will be there.  At this point it looks like the rest of the fleet will not sail out until tomorrow.  Who knows where we might go?  One possibility is back to Quinn's Crack.  Why?  When we were last their Chuck left a nice pair of binoculars.  With luck the rain and weather has not damaged them.

With a small fleet we can go where the fair winds take us.  With modern technology most of the trip has cell phone service.  One sad note.  An oil rig is currently working at the mouth of Lucky Mound Bay.  Lucky Mound is a nice spot, but no one wants to listen to an oil rig drilling all night for America's opium

.

Everyone should try coal mining

As a young person my first real job was as an underground coal miner.  I tell the story often.  I was sleeping on the porch swing when George Madison walked by.  I asked George where he was going. George replied that he was going to apply for a summer job as a coal miner.  George asked if I wanted to drive down the Ohio River to the Ireland Mine and go along.  Being bored I acquiesced.

As we stood around the parking lot at the mine, a guy came out and said "Everyone come in here and take a test".  What the hell I figured, I would just go in and take the test.  After the test the man giving the test carefully banged the test on the table and formed them into a neat pile. Without looking at the test he threw them in the waste basket.  Then he looked at everyone and said "You are all hired, but there is one problem, I told ten people to come here, but there are eleven people here.  Someone is here that does not belong, who is it?"  Sheepishly I raised my hand.  "Your hired too the guy said".  Thus my afternoon nap on the porch launched my coal mining career.

Lord Kadizzle worked every summer as a coal miner and paid his way through college.  The rest is history.  Anyone who ever worked worked with real coal miners would come to love them.  Coal miners are special. Everyday when you go underground you think in the back of your mind you may never come out alive.  At any given moment it is a given something can fall on you and kill you.  As coal miners liked to say at the time " You can't fool mother nature".  In other words gravity never goes to bed.

One thing that hits every coal miner pretty quickly is that it is best if everyone is your friend underground.  When you are trapped under a rock somebody has to get you out. When the damn place catches on fire someone has to come get get you.  Every person you work with is possibly the guy who is going to save you.

An example is in order. One day "Juky Jack Blake" was operating the continuous miner.  That is the machine that cuts the coal loose.  Up the middle of that machine runs a conveyor.  Jack was an amazing person.  Many days I saw Jack casually get up out of his seat and take two or three steps back.  Moments later a boulder would fall right were Jack was sitting.  Once I asked Jack how do you do that?  I said "Jack, someone could fire a high powered rifle next to your head, and you would not flinch".  Jack gave me this answer " I drink, but when I drink, I don't mess around,  I am not going to sit down and drink a beer, if I sit down I will drink a case of beer".  It seemed to work, he had nerves of steel.

Jack was in some bad top, and told me he wanted me to watch the top while he ran the miner. Jack was afraid the top might fall. Usually before the top fell some stuff would trickle down.  Jack had a sixth sense for things going wrong.  As I stood behind the miner sure enough a big boulder fell onto the conveyor.  Quickly it came up the conveyor and rolled off onto Jack.  Jack was pinned under the large stone.  I was young, but I did have a little bit of a brain.  Quickly it went through my brain, if the top was coming down, and I went up to get Jack, it would be two people killed, not just one.  That did not make much sense.  I paused.  After a moment I went up and grabbed Jack under the arms and pulled him back to where the roof was secure.  The first thing Jack said to me was " You weren't sure if you were coming to get me, were you?  I replied " It did not make sense for two of us to get killed".  Jack's leg was in pain, but he was OK.

Working with coal miners as a young person I learned a whole lot quickly about life.  Underground coal miners are noble people.  I worked with miners in southern West Virginia,  the toughest, nicest, and meanest if need be people in the world.  They will share their lunch if you don't have one, and they will kill you if you cross them. I worked with miners in eastern Ohio, where one miner told me he would kill a federal inspector I was having trouble with for $70.  I appreciated the offer, but said no thanks.  

Father forgive us for what we must do

If you don't know who John Prine is you need to.  Sitting here listening to Fish and Whistle.  It is a prime example of his lyrics.  Father forgive us for what we must do, you forgive us, we'll forgive you.  Think about it, it is kind of profound.  God gave us insects that will lay eggs in the eyes of African children. As the insect eats it's way out, it blinds the child.  Remember God created everything.  God made us different colors.  You know the result.  Cancer does not just attack adults, little children suffer and die.

If you can pray to God and ask him to change something, it certainly implies he can change things. Now the question is,  why doesn't he, she, or whomever.  The only way out of this conundrum is to throw your hands up and say " Who am I to question God?".   Well Hitler thought it might be a good idea to kill all the Jews.  Of course people just threw up their hands and said " Who am I to question Hitler?".   Blind faith can have some terrible results.  God gave us a mind.  That mind figured out the Earth rotated around the sun.  That mind figured out many very interesting things that seem to contradict a lot of biblical history.  Did God give us a mind that can let us look at the Earth from space, and expect us not to use it?

It is a darn tough life full of toil and strife

 

What do Pirates do after a good dram of grogg?  Sail to Mallard Island and wait for a passing ship to go by. Few things can beat a warm summer night waiting for a chance to plunder a wayward vessel. 

Go Big Game Hunting in your front yard.

Since Kadizzle has come under attack from the local miscreants Kadizzle has been using a game camera to to see who visits at night.  It is fun to check in the morning and see what you caught. Last night Seemore the game camera did not see too much exciting. Seemore noted the police went by at about 7:30 and again around 1:00 A. M.   Good to know they are checking for miscreants.  Not sure if the degenerates read this blog, but I will take a chance and make public some other security measures. Yesterday I went to the thrift store to buy some goofy cloths for the annual pirate party. While shopping Kadizzle happened to come across two alarm clocks.  The alarm clocks for some strange reason were designed to look like little cameras.  The small brain clicked in Kadizzle's head and he decided to purchase them as decoys for the degenerates.

If the degenerates get to the camera on the back porch it will puzzle their mind why the "security camera" constantly flashes 12:00.  The total cost for the two alarm clocks "Security cameras" was $3. The one atop the mail box will be irresistible for them.  Since they drove over the mailbox the last time it has been booby trapped for that type of attack. Kadizzle predicts if they get the courage they might get the nerve to just go by with a baseball and hit the mailbox. The bait cost $1.50.  Just about everyone has at one time wanted to hit an alarm clock with a baseball bat.  If all goes well my dear friends the degenerates will be caught on the game camera hitting a home run with an alarm clock.

What happened to the Vandals?

The long and short of the vandal story is everything spun out of control. If you have a burning need to hear the rest of the story email me or just ask me.  At the insistence of my loved ones, Kadizzle has declared a truce with the miscreants and agreed not to write about them.   Since they have already vandalized my property and attempted to intimidate me, I hope they have learned a lesson.  If you want the names and license numbers of the people involved I would be glad to provide them.  These people should not be allowed to hide under anonymity.

Today is Talk like a Pirate Day

Perhaps later today when I get into my pirate suite, Kadizzle will post a pirate picture of himself. It has become the custom every year for the sailors on the lake to have a pirate day. This year the weather is terrible, so the location will not be around the campfire.  Stay tuned.