Lazy Day

The day started with the arrival of the hot air balloons from Sedona. At first it looked like they were going the other way, but the wind switched and brought them to us. The Commander saddled up for a ride on her new zippiti do da bike with our camping friends. Meanwhile Kadizzle went six hundred yards to the model airplane airport and cackled with the pilots.  When the moment was right he helped himself to an apple fritter. Life is good. Next a little put put on the cycle and them back home to babysit the neighbor dogs. The one giant dog that is fifteen years old and pretty well shot up would not come out.  The giant gulumpus has a wart on his nose the size of a golf ball. it looks like a clown nose for a dog.  Most of the day the air was as fair and pleasant as can be achieved on the planet. For some strange reason Kadizzle got the notion to take his daily baptismal shower outside.  Sins seem to wash off better in the sunlight, and it was about time we used the blasted luxury of the shower on the outside of the camper.  Tonight it will be a joint supper with the three campers in our little isolated compound. So now it is time to have a glass of wine and ease into the late afternoon. It is a darn tough life full of turmoil and strife we sailor men undergo.

From rags to riches

Grocery shopping is vastly different in Sedona, than Tonto Basin.  In Tonto Basin the wine selection is similar to what you would find under a bridge in a big city bum encampment.  The Sedona Safeway has a whole refrigerated row of wine bottles in the $40 to $100 range.  Back in bumville the model airplane runway was the parking lot at the boat ramp.  Here at our new site there is a model airport that very much resembles a real one.  It has windsocks, solar charging stations, it's own nice parking lot, covered areas for spectators, and special tables for the participants to work their planes.  Also someone usually shows up with donuts.

The Windy Hill section of Lake Roosevelt had a nice selection of bums, but in Sedona great care has been exercised to make sure the less desirable cannot pollute the landscape. Rich and crazy is welcome of course, and there are plenty of them looking at UFO's, and experiencing the various vortexes.  No one lives near Sedona except someone who's daddy dumped some gold dust on them, or the daddy himself.  All the people that cut the grass, and clean the restrooms commute from Cottonwood the poor neighbor town to the south.  Anywhere in the countryside around town you have to pay to park and use the trails.  This also helps keep the undesirables in check.

Pink jeeps are the curse of the area.  The jeeps give tourist a rugged ride on the back roads.  The damn things stir up dust constantly, and create a mess out where we are camped. You have to get far enough from the road to avoid them.  As if that were not enough, there is a whole additional culture of the four wheeled ATV's that also make sure the dust does not settle.

When acute prosperity rains down on your town life is good and everything is immaculately landscaped.  Strict building codes make sure eyesores don't exist and everything is done to perfection.  Back in the land of Tonto Basin the favorite treatment for the yard is chain link fence with junk trimmings.  Zoning in Tonto Basin consist of an almost broke zone, and a totally broke zone.  In Sedona, the zones are rich and extremely rich.

Camped a few miles south of prosperity in the wilderness it is possible some of the prosperity will drift down on us from Sedona and we might wake up wealthy some morning.  However the reality is different. When you go for groceries or anything else in Sedona any prosperity you have will be sucked right out of you.

One of the big draws of Sedona are the excellent trails for The Commander's new bike.  So we shall live in the shadow of the one percent and ride bikes for the next week.

Kadizzles Oldest Girlfriend, The Pie Contest, and Religion collides with reality.

Yesterday we headed to May's house.  May is now 91.  There is no tougher bird. May has had four or five husbands. She says she killed them all with kindness.  In the past year she broke her leg, and has had all sorts of trauma, but when we got to her house she was out there working in the yard. May takes no sass from anyone. When and old guy comes on to her at the meat counter she tells him to buzz off. When the Mormons show up at her door they don't have a clue what they are in for.  May likes to party and her house is spotless. Usually there are sticky bug traps at the door, but for some reason they were missing. May is a busy body, and knows what everyone is up to.

After visiting May we headed off to Camp Verde to do some historical learning.  After walking past the buildings in the old fort, Kadizzle got on a serious side track.  As luck would have it a tent was set up with a pie judging contest. Kadizzle tried everything to be one of the judges, but nothing worked.  Six pecan pies had to be judged. At 11:30 the pies were to be cut.  The nice lady dressed in her park uniform said it was likely there would be pie left over from the samples and the audience could have some.  Kadizzle always wanted to be a pie tester in a bakery.  Then the idea came.  Kadizzle told the people conducting the contest he was an official from the Arizona Pie Board and was here to make sure the contest was conducted fairly.  Kadizzle warned one of the judges she was not allowed to say umm when she sampled a pie.  Kadizzle watched her closely and had to tell her she used up two of the three umms she could have before she was thrown out as a judge.  Also Kadizzle realized they had made a crucial mistake. They had four judges. This meant there could be a tie.  Kadizzle explained that in the event of a tie, the Pie Board would have to step in and make the final decision.  After an excruciating wait the contest was over and indeed there was a lot of pie left.  The only thing that saved Kadizzle as he watched was a mistake by the sample cutter.  Accidentally one extra sample was cut.  Kadizzle volunteered to destroy it.

Next Kadizzle had a conversation with a flint napper.  At first the lesson was interesting, then Kadizzle gradually realized the guy was on a different planet.  He was one of these "The Earth is 6,000 years old" guys.  His physics of how and why rock broke was not anything Kadizzle ever learned in science.  The real clincher was that he thought the best way to learn flint napping was to study the bible, and learn from the ancient Danish technique.  Kadizzle never recalled anything about flint napping in the Bible, so later he checked on the Google.  God did tell the Israelites to perform circumcisions with flint knives, even though brass knives were available, but the napper said it was mentioned in Genesis.   The man was very capable of making nice flint knives, arrow heads, and other implements, so Kadizzle has to give him some credit on the "Proof is in the pudding" theory.

Next Kadizzle went to a presentation by a lady dressed in a period costume.  She was supposed to be doing a historical presentation on what a Tea Party would be like at an old fort.  Well, it turned out she was totally scatterbrained and ended up giving a religious reading about teacups, and then had the audience play some word games that had nothing to do with history.  The theme of the day at the historical event must have been "What happens when religion collides with reality".

The shoot out in Cottonwood

When Mathew 24 Now (The name of a Christian family band) parked in the Walmart parking lot who thought the disciples of Jesus would get the guns going and be the talk of the town.  As the Kadizzles travel about Cottonwood while staying at Deadhorse State Park that is the topic of the moment.  Now one family member is dead and a police officer was shot.  Fundamentalist doing God's work with hand guns.  Apparently the feud must have started over using the toilet in the store. Even Jesus followers expect clean rest rooms.  Everyone in American has a right to carry a gun, and a right to decide when to use it.  This year the Kadizzles have not had to shoot anyone because the rest rooms were not clean.  Wait a minute, Kadizzle was on a crew that cleaned rest rooms.  On no Kadizzle could have been shot in the name of Jesus because someone was dissatisfied with how we cleaned the rest room.

It all makes sense now.  Kadizzle clearly remembers the day when the captain of our team Jerry was trying to show the dolt of our team Ralph how to properly machine gun a vault toilet with the pressure washer.  Ralph was not bold sticking the pressure washer wand down the throat of the toilet.  Jerry grabbed the wand and said "Look you missed some, you got to get it all, point it up under here".  Jerry just gave up and did it himself.

Now I can just imagine.  Here we are cleaning a rest room and someone from Mathew 24 comes up in the name of Jesus with a hand gun.  He points the gun at Ralph and as he fires he shouts " You failed to get the devil out of the toilet".  In the name of the lord one of the band members is now dead from a police bullet when he tried to bring the word of the lord to Walmart regarding their toilets. Additionally a police officer was shot in the leg.  The lord works in strange ways.  At our last campground there was a nice new camper with the words painted in red " God hates people who remarry".   Perhaps it would not be a good idea to discuss your second marriage with that guy if God also gave him a gun to enforce the rules.  In Arizona almost everyone has a gun and now that guns are being used to do God's work being in Arizona makes Kadizzle a lot more nervous.

The difference between $3 and $25

Today the Kadizzle's woke up in Deadhorse State Park.  For $25 per night we are packed much closer together.  There are no bums.  Bums rarely go above $6 per night.  The $3 bum sites were actually much nicer than our current situation.  The Bum sites back at Lake Roosevelt had a nice Ramada, much more room, nicer showers, more to do,  and a much better view.

Prosperity brings noise. When people have money they seem to have a need to waste it.  So last night we listened to someone run their air conditioner 24 hrs a day for no real reason.  Another favorite of those with more money than brains is to string Christmas lights around their 40ft motor home.  When you pay a fixed rate for electricity it is essential you waste it.

An observation.  The bigger and more expensive your camper the closer you need to be to a shopping center.  When we camp out at great distances from civilization we don't see so many of the fancy rigs.  Camping used to be a way to have serenity in the wilderness, now there is a trend to see how many toys and push button devices you can take with you.   As sailors we have seen the same thing at work in both sail boats and motor homes, once you get too large you are limited to where you can go. A small boat with a shallow draft can get into some very nice places the bloated boat cannot go.  The same holds true for an RV.  There are some fantastic places to camp that you can only get to with the most rugged small RVs.   This seems to be natures justice.

The Good ship it is said, never gives up it's dead

On a crystal clear day Lord Kadizzle just finished his motorcycle ride.  All seems to be in order the bums are have an early drink and all is well. On the way back to the Earth Module Kadizzle came across Gordon. Gordon is on of the Camp volunteers. Gordon leaves to go back to Alaska on the first.  Gordon will take the ferry to Alaska if he can.  As an ex employee of the ferry system he can go free if there is room, otherwise he will have to drive.

In the course of bull shitting with Gordon he reviewed his sea going career.  At one time Gordon worked on the great lakes ships.  It occurred to Kadizzle to ask Gordon if he ever sailed on the Edmond Fitzgerald.  Gordon was going to apply for a spot on the Fitzgerald, and said with his experience he would have got the job. However, Gordon had made up his mind to give up the sea life so he could watch his daughter grow up. There is  little doubt that was one of the best decisions of his life. The Edmond Fitzgerald is at the bottom of Lake Superior, and Gordon is still here fixing up the electrical systems for the Forest Service.

Dog eat Dog World

Update on bums wars.  Dr Dwane kidnapped Mr. Crazies dog.  As the sun came up it became apparent Dr. Dwane was preparing to move.  Soon Kadizzle found Dr. Dwane back in his old spot at Camp Bum More.  There in Dr. Dwane's camp was the dog that had been howling last night. Now it was clear why Dr. Dwane was moving. Dr. Dwane decided to rescue Mr. Crazy's dog.

Late in the day Mr. Crazy came back after leaving his dog unattended for two days.  Mr. Crazy was baffled wondering where his dog went.  Well at least the whole thing had a relatively good outcome. The dog is fed and taken care of and there was no shoot out among the bums or even harsh words. Will Crazy find out what really happened? Who knows, but all will be peaceful here in the Jackrabbit loop.

Mental Illness unleased

As the sun set on a wonderful day the crazy man's dog began to bark.  Everyone in the campground was subjected to hearing the poor dog suffer. Mr. Crazy who is as delusional as you can get goes of for over a day at a time and leaves the poor dog tied to the boat he uses to live in.  What do you do?  Usually people think of the crazy as broke and living under a bridge. Under a bridge they are not much of a problem, but when they have enough case to move about and integrate into the more normal society what do you do? Kadizzle thought he might just let the dog go.  However, the common wisdom around the campground is coyotes will attack and kill dogs.  Everyone debated getting law enforcement involved.  What can the legal system do about a crazy man abusing a dog?  There might be an ecological solution.  One of the less crazy bums loves dogs and may be the answer.  Dr. Dwane is threatening to take things into his own hands.  Lou the neighbor said she saw Dr. Dwane walking Mr. Crazy's dog.  Dr. Dwane is a self described Christian, but he does carry a gun to perform god's will if need be.  Who knows if Mr. Crazy has a gun?  Well, this could end up in a bum shoot out.  In the old days the white man gave the Indians blankets infected with disease. It was a simple effective way to deal with the Indians.  Our modern equivelant is making sure all the mentally ill have access to guns.  As long as mental patient A shoots only another mental patient B it might be a net gain for society.  Two or one person will be off the welfare everyone is so excited about.

Snowbird Migration.

One by one our winter friends are pulling up stakes and heading North.  In increments the Kadizzles will make the trip. Our next stop will be in Cottownwood.  From there perhaps another twenty miles to Sedona. Another move to Chaco Canyon.  From there who knows.  As always getting across the mountains and past the wind in Wyoming are the last big barriers.  Do the flying birds think the same about their move north.

Hallelujah, I am a Bum

As a little boy Kadizzle once remembers being asked what he wanted to be when he grew up. After thinking he chose bum.  Kadizzle always liked trains and bums got to ride on trains.  Bums are fascinating people. They have adventures, they have to be creative, and they seem to be care free.  Bums run the gamut from Dr. Dwane, to Gary.  Gary is about as unhealthy a bum as god ever invented. Gary is on the verge of death from smoking.  Dr. Dwane does not have a healthy physique, but tries to stay healthy.  Dr. Dwane exercises and takes vitamins.

Bums live on dreams. Dr. Dwane constantly talks about his next move to paradise. Dr. Dwane is going to move to a great campground with all the amenities for a bargain price. It is like the lottery ticket people buy, it gives them the right to dream.  Gary is obsessed with having a pretty engine in his truck. Who cares if you have to sleep on a cot in a cold tent as long as you have a chrome alternator on you 1969 Ford Truck?  Bums make the most of the least, at least they think they do.  Dr. Dwane is a solar bum which makes sense.  Gary on the other hand is a propane bum.

The there is a slightly different kind of bum.  Ryan and Max are relatively well to do bums. Somewhere they have some kind of house. Ryan and Max once had reasonably good jobs, but some how the bum life living in a cargo trailer appeals to Max, and Ryan trades penny stocks out of his van and claims he makes a living. By nature bums like to move. Bums get tired of being in one place to long and have to get somewhere else.  Kadizzle has some of that in him.  The Commander always says "No matter where you are you want to be somewhere else".  There is truth in that.

Are bums happy? They seem to be.  The future for bums is so foggy it does not bother them.  They don't think more than a few hours or a day in advance.  With a social security check, or a disability check the bums have an automatic savings system.  Both Gary and Dwane are currently technically broke until the next check comes.  Bum planning is basically how will you live from one check to the next.  Bums cannot really go into debt because no one will end them money. However, I must qualify that, Gary owes Dwane $11.50.  Dwane is damn near out of food and is going to talk to Gary about getting the money.  Gary is out of money, so we have a bum wide finical crises looming.  Put this all in perspective.  According to the New York Times 80 people now have as much money as half of the worlds population.  An amazing fact, and in that world most people are living on less than 1 dollar per day.  So here we have a bum finical crises involving $11.50 while 80 people have more money than several billion other people combined do.  Does it strike anyone we have a problem here Houston?

The Birthday ride.

A magic moment happens every spring when the Earth stands straight up on March 21. It is the Way the Earth salutes two major events, the birth of Lord Kadizzle, and the glorious day Lord Kadizzle married The Commander. Ever since March 21, 1976 the couple has been living a life of contentment, joy, and unending bliss. Today to celebrate this momentous occasion The Commander announced we would ride mountain bikes at McDowell County Park.  As god's good grace would have it several companies were on hand to help with the celebration.  Three or four of the most luxurious mountain bike companies had their wares available for demonstrations.  The Commander has already joined the elite group that has these bikes, but the caste Kadizzle is in does not have the means. However, the demo people set Kadizzle up on a $5,000 bike and off he went with his leader.  The bike was very nice and the thought kept crossing Kadizzles mind that he should have one.  Amazing advances have been made in the way these bikes shift, ride, and generally perform.  The temptation is great, and perhaps Kadizzle could afford a used one. So here we are 66 years on the planet and 39 years of wedded bliss later. Hopefully we can make one more circle around the sun.

Upon this rock, I shall build my church

Sisyphus, has always been a role model for Kadizzle. Who in the hell is Sisyphus? You remember, the Greek gods punished him by forcing him to roll a huge rock up a hill. He never succeeded, the rock always rolled back down on him.  With The Commander in her usual mode telling Kadizzle it was hopeless, Kadizzle set out to move a two ton rock from a Forest Service road.  Kadizzle loves the concept of doing the impossible.  Up Oak Creek we went with our three quarter ton truck, and a huge tow strap.  After hooking the strap to the rock down the road we went. Kadizzle was surprised the Dodge Ram handled the rock so well. It would have made a wonderful commercial for Dodge.  Now a problem arose. Just as the rock was just about to reach it's new home the tow strap went under the rock.  Our boss had given us a brand new expensive tow strap and we were about to ruin it.  The Commander for some reason told Kadizzle to stop the truck prematurely.  At any rate we finally got the rock basically where we wanted it. Now, we had to get the rock to move at a right angle to the road.  Moving the rock 900ft was easy.  Moving the rock five feet would take about two hours.  With two jacks, two 4x4, some shoveling, and a lot of cursing and grunting we overcame gravity and got the rock to it's new home. Kadizzle and The Commander have an ongoing argument from day one.  Kadizzle always starts a project with success foremost in his mind. How can we succeed? Too many times The Commander starts the project with failure in mind.  Kadizzle is always happy when the project is completed as planned.  If you start a project with the idea that you will fail, you will.

Chauffeur career ends. Bear found guilty.

Uncle Karl, Jerry, and Ralph will have to roam the mountain passes without Kadizzle next week.  The excitement of finding and aluminum can will be gone.  Kadizzle found out last night it takes 34 cans to make a pound of aluminum, and that is worth 80 cents.  Uncle Karl taught Kadizzle a lot about gold mining and how to tell real gold from fake.  Uncle Karl tried to pass off fools gold to Kadizzle then explained how you could tell it is fools gold. Real gold always is gold Karl told Kadizzle as he held the fools gold.  Fools gold only is gold when it reflects sunlight.  Uncle Karl had many gold claims in his career.  After spending days with Uncle Karl, and Jerry it seemed evident they had their own brand of hard scrabble intelligence.  It was strange how they both seemed to end up relatively broke after long lives of relatively good jobs.  On the other hand it was easy to see how Ralph ended up broke.  

The other day when Kadizzle asked Uncle Karl how he got his job cleaning camp sites for The Forest Service he said "You have to be broke and stupid".  When Jerry chewed out Kadizzle for doing a poor job of backing the truck Kadizzle explained to Jerry he was trying to qualify as a paid worker. Kadizzle was trying to prove he was stupid.

On a different subject.  It was the bear that did it.  The other day we hiked high in the mountains near Parker Creek. We came across an experimental station that was also a summer encampment of Arizona University. Kadizzle found a window had been broken out of the main building which sat empty in the winter.  The broken window was reported to the Forest Service.  Kadizzle thought it was vandilism, but that turned out not to be the case. The Commander went back a couple days ago to hike again with friends and realized it was a bear that broke out the window. Apparently the bear saw his own reflection and attacked himself by jumping through the window.  Mr. bear was now trapped in the building and jumped out another window breaking it in the process.

Flowers and Crazies blooming.

As you may recall in an earlier post Kadizzle hoped the craziest of the crazies would not move nearby. No such luck.  Super crazy moved in about 500 yds away.  Now Dr. Dwayne the carpet knife surgeon has moved in nearby. Dwayne is a nice guy, and has been having problems with his van.  Kadizzle offered to let him use his internet to check out a wiring diagram. While checking it out Dwayne mentioned that he had to move out of Camp Bummore because it was being over run by crazies.  Typhoid Mary is back and cooking clam chowder for the bums.  According to Dwaynes report Typhoid want to buy Gary a camping trailer to live in.  Typhoid Mary has an affinity for bums and seems to adopt them like a cat lady picks up cats.  Another week and we will leave bum heaven.

The Good Boy

Kadizzle has a birthday coming up that will make him 66 years old.  As a kid 66 seemed like way beyond the grave, but here we are.  Assessing his life Kadizzle decided he has been a very good boy lately, so he thought he should buy himself a nice birthday present.  One major problem, Kadizzle doesn't need anything, or want anything.  After days of searching it turns out Kadizzle has just about every device or product he wants that is under $200,000 so what can he do.  He could step up and buy a nice new sailboat for $250k or maybe a glidder for $150K,  but perhaps all those gifts over his budget will show up as a surprise.

Just staying reasonably healthy would be a good gift.  However, that might mean giving up pizza, wine, ice cream, and a lot of other good food. Hell that would mean don't eat any birthday cake.  Since Kadizzle cannot solve the problem of what to get himself for his birthday, perhaps you would like to give it a try.  There is only one rule if you try to buy Kadizzle a present, keep it under $500.  The winner will get a plaque to show they won the contest.  Be creative, and don't let the $500 limit discourage you.

Life has it's little ups and downs, like ponies on a merry go round

The sun just set, Kadizzle may be thankful the day is over.  As the famous quote from The Tale of Two Cities said "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times".   The day was as sunny, bright, and pleasant as a day could be.  Off to work he went.  The morning started with a safety topic.  The topic was the proper use of government vehicles.  After a complete review of what is proper and what is not our crew set out and immediately violated three of the rules.  To avoid being prosecuted, the violations will not be mentioned.  As the presenter said, the rules are based upon perception.  So violation is in the eyes of the beholder.

As we traveled down the sunny road to Picket Post near Superior to clean the toilets and pick up litter we were stopped in a long line of traffic.  A thirty year old woman was having a bad day and jumped from a very high bridge. Bringing her body back to the road was a major undertaking that involved at least ten vehicles, two major flashing signs, one way traffic,  a foot rescue team, and a repelling device on top of the bridge.  Her day must have been worse than she could bear.

With two of our crew missing the vehicle was roomy and the the site at Picket Post was clean.  We next headed to Oak Flats where the Indians were still encamped.  Kadizzle sat down to confer with an apparent leader of the Dine (The Navajo's call themselves The Dine').  All of the warriors were gone, apparently seeking buffalo meat at the Walmart in Globe.  The chief and Kadizzle felt each other out on politics and seemed to understand each other.  Meanwhile Jerry machine gunned the out house with high pressure water, and Uncle Carl stood guard in case of attack.  Just as Kadizzle entered the Indian encampment a nice looking non native girl was packing up to leave with her boyfriend. Apparently thay had come to cook for the protest. Not a bad deal for the Indians.  White man came to clean toilets, and bring new rolls of treaties for them to wipe with, and white women fed them.  A vast improvement over the old days of em battlement.

Kadizzle has been plagued with kidney stones on and off for a long time.  Today the urine was full of blood, and no matter how much water Kadizzle drank things did not clear up.  The possibility of an internal attack from kidney stones was a downer on a nice day.  We drove up to Timber Camp and cleaned up there.  It was a very pleasant day in the high pines.

At last done for the day Kadizzle decided to put the final touch on the month long battle with Verizon, Best Buy, and Motorola.  When you think it can get no worse dealing with these companies it does. Verizon put Kadizzle on hold twice for five minutes and then hung up.  Not to be dissuaded Kadizzle called back and finally got to talk to a human.  Even though Kadizzle has been engaged in talks with Verizon for a full month the person acted like it was all new.  Verizon said they would give Kadizzle a $50 credit when he proved he had the cracked screen on his phone fixed.  Seems like a simple matter, but no.  After an hour and  a half Kadizzle worked his way up to  a manager in the food chain.  The manager said he had to go to a meeting shortly, so the hell with it, he just fixed the problem like they promised to do a month ago, and forty phone hours later.  Motorola is still in the battle and has not yet come clean.  WARNING, WARNING, do not ever buy a phone from Best Buy.  Motorola, and Verizon made some concessions, but Best Buy just said go to hell.

The heat is sweltering here, and it may be time to head North.  At this point it looks like we will head to Cottowood, then Sedona, and then perhaps Canyon De Chey.

Almost forgot another part of the day.  Kadizzle is a prolific writer of letters to the editor at the Bismarck Tribune.  The Tribune only allows two letters per month. Often this is not enough, so Kadizzle asked his daughters dog Tony Srpinkleton to also write some letters.  The Tribune calls to verify letters.  Tony usually dictates the letters to Kadizzle and Kadizzle sends them to the paper under Tony's name.  The paper calls The Commanders phone, and when she is asked if Tony is there, Kadizzle fills in for him, since his English is poor.  The Bismarck Tribune published three of Tony's letters.  Tony reads a lot like Kadizzle, and many friends suspected Tony and Kadizzle might be in cahoots.  Well today, The Tribune figured it out.  The Tribune called The Commander and asked for Kadizzle.  When The Commander said "he isn't here", The Tribune suspected Tony might be in cahoots with Kadizzle.  Later the editor called Kadizzle and told him The Tribune will not accept letters from dogs, and since Kadizzle was involved in the scheme he was forbidden to write any letters for six months.  So now all political opinions will be express via the Fargo Forum for the next six months.

If a tree falls on the trail in the forest will the Kadizzle's Clear it?

The tree fell and blocked the trail. When the tree fell in the forest nobody heard it, but some of our friends found it on the trial. Today we hike in with perfect weather and cut up the miscreant.  Also we made several other trails safe for democracy by putting up signs that will allow hikers to find them.

Monday it is back to chauffeur duty with the pressure washer machine gun crew.  Over the weekend the camp ground has filled to almost capacity. Campers are pared two deep on the beech. Hopefully things will clear out tonight.

We meet a lot of people who have some loose bolts, but the other day one showed up that was in never never land.  As Kadizzle was watching solar Jim fly his model plane a guy dressed to the hilt in a motorcycle rider disguise rode up on his Harley.  First he was describing every acrobatic trick Jim did.  Somehow he got into his history in the service.  According to his deranged mind he had been in just about every branch of the military.  Then he related how he swam around an island in Vietnam under water.  During the swim he came under fire from friendly forces.  When he emerged from the water and was seen to be an American they "Gave me a cake the size of the tailgate on your truck".  Just before that Mr. Motorcycle told me how the Park Ranger saved his life the other day by pulling him out of the lake.  So he said he bought a hat.  Next he went to his motorcycle and put on a goofy sailing hat.  What the hat had to do with being saved was beyond imagination, but apparently that is what you do when you are crazy and someone supposedly saves you.   The man and his lunacy was driving Jim nuts and I left on my motorcycle.

Today driving into our campground Kadizzle was flagged down by the same crazy guy because he saw Kadizzle was driving a Forest Service truck.  Crazy man started explaining how he was thrown out of the lower campground, but wanted to know if he was qualified to stay in ours.  Just what we need.  Quickly he told me he had worked at every major park in the country.  Quickly Kadizzle explained he had nothing to do with who stayed where and left.  Now back at our compound I see the spot on the opposite side of the road is empty.  Lord please don't let crazy move in.

The road to nowhere is rugged, and impassable

Yesterday Kadizzle and The Commander set off on a motorcycle exploration. Kadizzle single handed the cycle up Peter Bigfoots road, and then met The Commander where a side road took off. The Commander mounted the cycle and off they went.  A custom in this part of the world is to make roads out of sandy wash creek beds.  The map showed this road going up and connecting with some other roads. Continually the so called road got worse.  More and more boulders started to crop up and The Commander was getting more and more trepidation.  When The Commander gets scared she says she wants to get off and walk.  Even for one the road became impassable, so we gave up.

Today the Tonto Basin Trail Crew (Kadizzle, and The Commander) head up to the Barnhart trail to clear a tree from the trail.  According to our informants the tree is one mile in.  Hope that is correct.  Also we are going to put up some trail signs.

Exploring the Poke Hole.

Hiking the mountains of the southwest the Kadizzles have come across many mines.  Yesterday we found a nice one.  It is always hard to imagine what went on when some old goat got the idea to strike it rich digging a hole.  So many of these mines are in the most inaccessible place imaginable.  The mine we found yesterday was at the end of a long winding home made road.  It was evident more work went into the road than the mine.  It always seems like the people doing the mining never had a clue how they would get stuff to the mine or out of the mine.  The little poke hole we explored yesterday seemed to be a copper mine.  How in the hell would  you get copper ore thirty miles over the worst roads on earth to Globe to have it smelted?

The mine was a classic and looked like the perfect setting for a western.  The best part was what we call the cribbing in mining lingo.  The post and beam at the mouth of the mine were in a picture perfect condition to cave in.  The slightest tap on the post would bring the roof down on anyone trying to enter the mine.  Kadizzle sometimes goes in these things, but this was not one he was going to try.

Over and over Kadizzle kept thinking to himself, you came up here built this road with a lot of effort and money, then dug a couple of tunnels a hundred feet in and said the hell with it.  This almost always seems to be the case with these mines.  The reality sets in at a certain point and the person realizes they will never make a cent on the venture.  It is just like the simple minded people you see in line to buy a lottery ticket.  You are purchasing the right to dream for awhile.  At some point you wake up and realize you will not win.

Flumpers

Kadizzle has a strong desire today to be a flumper.  Flumpers do what they want when they want.  The Greeks had the word hedonist.  If it feels good do it.  On the other hand the hyperactive Commander wants to go to the mountains and explore today.  The Commander assures Kadizzle there will be no hard hiking.  What a joke, it always starts that way and the next think you know we are heading to the top of a mountain. A motorcycle ride on a dirt road would be just fine for Kadizzle.

Often Kadizzle and The Commander discuss the real flumpers.  Today there is a generation of kids that never finish college, live on the largess of their parents, and put off reality as long as possible.  It is a great life if you can surf, and ski as much as you want and get checks from the old man to do it.  What happens when the current crop of flumpers reaches retirement time? The way social security works is the people who pay the checks I now cash pay in from working.  When the flumpers don't work social security takes in no money.  So get to work you flumpers so I can get paid.

Retired people and flumpers have a lot in common.  Both sleep in as long as they like. Both have to make the big decision of, what can I do to make myself happy today.  Both live by the grace of others.  Now there is a whole new class of flumpers.  Down in the bum camp there are three flumpers living in vans and tents.  These guys live on less than 1k per month, and have to live a very frugal life, but they seem content.  Today when I see some of the young flumpers I wonder if they will successfully convert to the bum life.

The Bravest of Men

Kadizzle always admired the brave men who ride the garbage truck.  In freezing winter sub zero temperature the brave bandoleers empty the trash.  On the hottest summer days when the garbage hits it's best ripeness, the brave men ride the trucks and make the community safe.  Today Kadizzle got tricked into being the swamper on the Forest Service Garbage truck.  It started as a simple task of taking a package  to the visitor center for Fed Ex to pick up.  There Kadizzle ran into Roberto.  Roberto asked Kadizzle if he would volunteer for a garbage run to Apache Lake.  It seemed like an easy way to build up some hours and have a scenic ride in a garbage truck.  Well it did not quite work out that way. It turned out someone had already picked up the dumpsters at the other lake.  So off Kadizzle went in his new job as a swamper to empty 20 dumpsters at Lake Roosevelt.

Luckily the garbage was not very ripe because of the fairly cool weather, but some simple dinger emptied his engine oil in one of the dumpsters and we ended up leaking oil at each stop that had to be cleaned up.  The swamper is the guy who backs up the truck and hooks up the dumpsters.  Roberto tried to teach Kadizzle how to operate the hydraulic crushing controls, but Kadizzle played stupid to remain unqualified for a full time swamper job.  With a bit of a new aroma Kadizzle now has a great respect for the brave men that make our country safe from garbage.

Fire in the Hole

The green Forest Service Truck rumbled again into the forest with Uncle Carl riding shotgun. Ralph behind Kadizzle, and Jerry working on a crossword puzzle.  During the trip to the top of the mountain Kadizzle asked Uncle Carl how people applied for the job he and the rest of the gang had. Uncle Carl said to get the job you have to be broke and stupid.  Kadizzled wondered if you had to take a test to prove you were stupid. “Yes, you do” answered Uncle Carl,  “ We had to help Ralph with the stupid test so he could pass”.   When we got out at a wonderful camp site in the mountains the crew was ready to use the pressure washer and clean the out house.  The call rang out to start the pressure washer. “Fire in the hole” Jerry yelled and Uncle Carl started the pressure washer.  Kadizzle loved to hear the command “Fire in the hole”.  It was the traditional way to warn miners a blast was about to go off.  As usual Jerry was the machine gunner on the pressure washer.  A big danger for the machine gunner in an out house cleaning job is splash back.  Ralph, who Jerry describes as “The stupidist old man I have ever met”,  tries to avoid being trained on the machine gun.  Ralph’s ploy is to ask to get out of the truck to pick up litter as we pull into a camp ground.  It usually works and poor old Jerry had to run the machine gun.  In the past few days we have had to burn up some time so we did not get back too early. The answer is windshield time.  We drive backroads on the most circuitous route possible.  As Kadizzle explained to Jerry, if we were going to Europe, we would take the Pacific Route.

You throw it down, we pick it up.

Another day with the geezer crew making American safe for democracy.  Today with the Forest Service Crew of old retired guys we made some wonderful forays into the wilderness. Of course when we reach our destination we have to clean up a mess some slobs made in the wilderness.  At the top of a spectacular mountain South of Globe we came upon a camp site to clean. Industrial strength rodents disguised as humans had made a mess. Shotgun shells, and handgun shells littered the site where the degenerates had camped. Of course the degenerates drank beer, then shot at the beer bottles.  Cans were everywhere along with trash, but out crew cleaned up the mess.  The low class rodents took the time to drive a large screw driver into a tree.  Crew leader Jim told Kadizzle he could not get the screw driver out of the tree.  Kadizzle took this as a challenge and managed to free the mess from the trees with some clever engineering.

It is nice to clean up a site so the next person who comes can enjoy it.  Also when the slobs come they will clearly see the mess they make when they start with a clean site.  There is a subset of humans who go into the most wonderful areas and take great pleasure in ruining them.  It would be great to catch these people.  Many of them take their children and show their children how to destroy the natural environment.

Globe Arizona is a strange mining town.  Like every mining town it is fundamentally a mess. However, you can drive out of town in any direction and be in some wonderful country. The town has crap strewn everywhere, and there is not organization or zoning that is describable.  Probably over half the people live in ramshackle portable housing of some sort with junk piled around it. Boom and bust is the nature of the copper industry and it shows.  If you have a dollar spend it on liquor, a gun, or an ATV. There is no future.

All this being said the guys I clean the forest with are great people. They take pride in correcting the mess the degenerates have made. They pick up every beer can, cigarette butt, and shotgun shell they can find.  It is the old battle of good versus evil.  Why don't the churches and the schools teach some fundamental respect for the planet?

Sitting Dog meets Standing Fox

Lord Kadizzle's Indian name is Sitting Dog.  Yesterday in his role as chauffeur for the old geezers that make up the cleaning crew for the Forest Service, Sitting Dog met with the Indians.  The Indians are still camped out to protest the copper mine that has taken over their sacred land.  As the geezers used the high pressure washer to clean the out house Sitting Dog decided to go over and meet the Indian protesters.  Indians always have a great sense of humor and it was fun talking with them.  As Sitting Dog spoke to the warriors he used the grabber to pick up some of the trash in their encampment.  In all fairness they were keeping the place clean.  One of the warriors pointed at the ground and said you missed a spot.  Sitting dog saw something round and brown.  As he reached for it Standing Fox said "Don't touch that it is an artifact".   Picking it up Sitting Dog realized it was a rusted lid to a tin can.  One mission Sitting Dog had was to find out how Indians used acorns.  The encampment was right in the middle of a place where to this day the Indians gather acorns.  This is how Sitting Dog was introduced to Standing Fox.  Sitting Dog had been speaking with a nice young fellow and asked him about the acorns.  He indicated he was not from this tribe, but his tribe was from an area in New Mexico where acorns were not harvested, but he pointed out Standing Fox and said that Standing Fox would know.  Standing Fox explained that the acorns were used to make a variety of treats including dumplings, cookies, and soup.

The mining plan for the area under the sacred ground is to hollow out a huge area beneath the surface. In this process vast quantities of ore will be removed.  To get the last portion of the ore a massive blast will be set off and the sacred ground will sink into a volcano like crater.  When Kadizzle first drove up in the official looking Forest Service truck he though it might be fun to tell the Indians the blast would occur today and they might wake up 1500 ft lower than where they went to sleep.

As Sitting Dog left the Indians were in good spirit and he told them they had the best room service any Indian could expect from the government.  In this case the government came into the Indian encampment replenished the toilet paper, cleaned the toilet, and picked up all the refuse.   Now just imagine how much better it would have been for Custer if he had simply showed up with toilet paper and cleaned the out houses.

Climb every mountain and watch out for The Sneaker

Today's pickle is where to go. Jeff and Barb want to do an adventure.  The Kadizzles have just about run out of new places, so the choices are getting narrow.  The trick is to go somewhere new.  That essentially means going off into the wild up by Peter Bigfoot's.  The other choices would be to go back to an old spot and look for pot shards, or actually do some trail work down at Oak Flat.  More than likely the Bigfoot adventure will be the one.

Last year our generator was stolen, and Kadizzle to this day has wondered who did it and if they were ever caught. Kadizzle still makes inquiries about The Sneaker.  For a brief time it seemed like the mystery was solved.  One of the old fellows up at the Globe Ranger station said a "hotshot" was The Sneaker.  According to his story the disgruntled fire fighter stole both radios from the Forest Service, and the generators. The hotshot was found selling the items on Ebay.  Yesterday Kadizzle had a chance encounter with the same deputy who investigated the theft of our generator last year. Kadizzle inquired about the veracity of the hotshot story.  The deputy said the hotshot had stolen the Forest Service radios, but had nothing to do with the generators. The deputy went on to say The Sneaker just stole two more Honda generators a week or two ago over at the other campground.  The Sneaker is still on the loose.

The Mountain always wins.

Mountains are deceptive creatures.  The Kadizzles have hiked so many that we know them well.  A favorite deceit of a mountain is to make you think you are going to reach the top, then to show you a whole new climb that needs to be accomplished.  Yesterday was a classic case.  With Barb and Jeff the Kadizzles headed up Denton trail.  The Commander who always hikes like there is a fire in her pants kept busting ahead. Part of our mission was to scout the trail for The Forest Service.  The trail was in poor shape and needed a lot of work. Brush was overtaking the trail, and the trai was suffering from wash outs.

About half way up we could see a saddle and decided that would  be the goal.  When we got to the saddle it appeared we could go a little farther and make the top.  So off we went only to find a big plateau and yet another climb.  After a gain of 2,500 and a hike of 3.5 miles mostly on a strong uphill grade, we made it pretty close to the top.  Views were incredible. We could see all of Lake Roosevelt and for miles in every direction.  Our troop found another crested cactus and inspected several Indian ruins on the way back.  Totally worn down we went for pizza and beer.  There is a strange little pizza place that has very good pizza.  

Recovering this morning after such a strenuous day The Commander is making french toast, and Kadizzle is ready for the second cup of coffee.  It looks like it will be a near perfect day and The Commander wants badly to go on a motorcycle ride.  More than likely that will be the goal.  There are roads up Campaign creek that need to be explored.

One in two hundred thousand

For some strange reason one in two hundred thousand cactus become crested cactus.  The Commander had spotted one of these strange cactus on the road to Peter Big Foot's.  Doing some trail work yesterday The Commander had to stop to get some pictures.  Today the hyperactive Commander insist we put in some trail time.  So it looks like we are going to explore the Denton trail.  Supposedly there are some ruins up in that valley.  Kadizzle would just make this a lazy motorcycle day riding back roads, but they call her The Commander for a reason.  The oatmeal is in the belly and the last cup of coffee is just about empty.

Old men cleaning up the mess of young men

Day two as chauffeur for the clean up crew.  Part of American culture is the subset of humans that need to drive goofy vehicles in the desert.  The idea is to get drunk and drive your truck up some steep sand covered hill.  This will prove you are a brave man and a idiot that has no respect for the environment.  When you need a rest from your idiocy you go to the Forest Service camp site to enjoy your fire made from discarded pallets.  Of course you must break your beer bottles, scatter your trash, and if you want leave some loaded baby diapers.  

The mission of The Forest Service is to keep the place nice for the segment of the planet that deserves a nice place.  This works for the jerks.  They get to come back to make their next mess after we have cleaned up the nails with a magnet left from the last Pow Wow.  The real irony of this is the older guys doing this clean up are being funded under a grant from an Indian reservation.  The mess we cleaned up was on the edge of an Indian reservation, and more than likely the offenders were from the reservation.  So here you have this strange situation were elderly white men are being paid minimum wage to clean up a mess by the reservation with funds from the reservation.  You might recall the story yesterday about Oak Flats.  The Native Americans were camped out there to protest the destruction of a sacred site for copper mining.  Maybe they could move the tents and signs over near the reservation and protest the destruction of their land by their people driving four wheel drive vehicles up the side of the mountain. 

Off to work we go.

A truck load of old farts pulled out of the Tonto National Forest work site in Globe AZ.  Kadizzle's job was to drive the wagon load of seniors to the scenic location of outhouses in the Tonto Forest around Globe. Our fist stop was at the Indian ATM at Picket Post mountain.  What is an Indian ATM?  Of course it is an outhouse that takes deposits only.   The old guys jumped out to pick up the litter, and pressure spray the out house.  Cowboy Gary was certifying Ralph to be a gunner.  The gunner has to shoot the high pressure water right down the throat of the pit toilet.  Gary chided Ralph that he was missing some spots of human waste left overs.

Our next stop was Oak Flats where the Indians were protesting a land swap with a copper company.   The warriors had left their encampment totally unguarded.  Modern Apache Indians on the war path have coolers, bottled water, and a well equipped Webber grill.  As a new gunner at the outhouse Ralph talked a big job.  The vault was full almost to the top and the biggest danger being a gunner is back splash.

By some strange convolution of government grants the old fellows who get paid minimum wage are working under a grant for aging Indians.  None of the men are native Americans so it is a little puzzling.  It might be a case of the Indians in essence telling the white man " Clean up my Sh#t".

Our crew ranges in age from 78 to 60.  These old guys are temporarily out of work and the job gives them some income while they look for work that pays more.  These guys do good work and take the job seriously.

On a side note Kadizzle first hauled the crew for coffee before the day started.  In the gas station right by the counter was a strange display Kadizzle has never seen in a gas station before.  A variety of brightly colored packages of male performance enhancing concoctions was right beside the checkout.  It was hard to imagine someone going to the gas station and saying "Quick give me some of that fake viagra for seven dollars".  In a ruff and tough mining town who knows how the world works.

Six Shooter Canyon.

This morning The Commander and Kadizzle will drive to Six Shooter Canyon near Globe AZ as part of our volunteer work for the Forest Service.  Our job encompasses about a 35 mile area.  The trails we are working with might be 30 miles away in any compass direction.  Today we will shuttle other volunteers around recreation sites to do work.

A popular conception of our government is that it is inefficient.  In many ways this is true, but few people understand the bargain citizens get for their tax dollars from people who work for free.  About half the work force for the Forest Service here is made up of volunteers.  A typical volunteer puts in 21 hours per week.  Volunteers do everything from cleaning the toilets to fixing the roof.  A lot of the volunteers are retired people living in their RV.  In exchange for volunteer work the Forest Service provides a camping spot, electricity, sewage, and water.  If you do the math that is worth about ten dollars per day.  Do a little more math and the volunteer is making about 50 cents an hour.  With both the Commander and Kadizzle working it amounts to about 25 cents per person per hour.  Most volunteers work way more than required.  Don't forget some of these people are doing high skilled work.  Kadizzle noticed a welder working on a Sunday in the Forest Service shop.  A welder working in a power plant in North Dakota would probably be paid close to 50 dollars per hour when you include benefits.   On a Sunday that welder at double time would be getting one hundred dollars per hour.

When people bitch about "the goverment" they need to do some investigation.  Soldiers get killed and maimed for a relatively small sum.  The government that so many love to hate and despise has a lot of hidden gems that rarely get noticed.  Often while traveling we meet people from other countries who marvel at our parks, and outdoor spaces.  However, there is an element in our society that wants to "starve the beast".  These people want to cut off the funds for the Forest Service, and all the agencies that make this country such a nice place to live.  The response of these agencies is to try to operate with volunteers.   Sadly if the trend of "Starve the beast" continues there will be no open spaces and parks for the next generation.

Indian Zip Code

For years the Kadizzles have been visiting hundreds of Indian ruins in the southwest.  Recently we purchased  a detailed book on the area we are currently in.  The book is much more scientific than what we normally delve into.  The sheer number of sites around here is amazing.  It has become politically correct for people in the know not to reveal the exact location of all the sites.  In a way this makes it kind of fun to find them. The good thing about this system is that only hard core people will find the sites, and that leaves the vandals out.  So many of these sites have been ruined by vandals.  Many of the vandals were early settlers.

Kadizzle has been doing some serious map work to extrapolate where these sites are.  Kadizzle has figured a system of coordinates that is made by mapping known points on the map, such as stream intersections.  If time permits we should head back to the wilderness and try to find some of the more difficult sites.

Rain has been pouring into the desert, and the flowers should be in their full glory soon. Tomorrow we head to Globe on a charity mission for The Forest Service. The Kadizzles will be the drivers for a volunteer work crew in Six Shooter Canyon. The volunteers will be cleaning up the recreation sites.

The Smell of Rain

Nothing smells better than rain in the desert. Sitting beside Lake Roosevelt the warm night filled with fresh air full of desert moisture is perfect for sleeping.  Plants give off oxygen in exchange for the rain drops.  Rain in the desert makes the flowers explode. The amount of sand and gravel moved by water when the water finally  moves is amazing.  Recently we hiked a stream after a rain.  In a place where we had walked through three feet of water, there was three feet of sand. Tons of material move around and you can see the results everywhere.  After weeks of daily activities outside a break in the rain is comforting.