A new way of thinking

Ø I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a
bike and asked for forgiveness.


Ø Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat
you with experience.


Ø I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming
and yelling like the passengers in his car.


Ø Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a
garage makes you a car.


Ø The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.


Ø Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright
until you hear them speak.


Ø If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.


Ø We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.


Ø War does not determine who is right - only who is left.


Ø Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a
fruit salad.


Ø The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.


Ø Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to
tell you why it isn't.


Ø To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is
research.


Ø A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train
stops. On my desk, I have a work station.


Ø How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole
box to start a campfire?


Ø Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you
can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.


Ø Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train
people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.


Ø I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.


Ø A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you
don't need it.


Ø Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an
emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR".


Ø I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.


Ø I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said
"Implants?"


Ø Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars,
but check when you say the paint is wet?


Ø Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with
a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.


Ø Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50
for Miss America ?


Ø Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful
man is usually another woman.


Ø A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.


Ø You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to
skydive twice.


Ø The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!


Ø Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.


Ø A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that
you will look forward to the trip.


Ø Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you
wish they were.


Ø Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.


Ø I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a
great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.


Ø Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.


Ø There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they
can't get away.


Ø I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.


Ø I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot
of tequila.


Ø When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department
usually uses water.


Ø You're never too old to learn something stupid.


Ø To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit
the target.


Ø Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.


Ø Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no
imagination whatsoever.


Ø A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when
you are in it.


Ø If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have
more than one child?


Ø Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Kadizzle's little pumpkin carver

This ends with great Hooplehead zinger

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
NPR Staffing Decision 2010
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Rally to Restore Sanity

Conserevatives cannot hear this video.

Dogs can hear sounds humans cannot. The same is true with liberals, they can understand things conservatives never will. This video says it all, but your typical Hooplehead just cannot grasp what is going on.

Shooting up the Hoopleheads

It is always fun to shoot up the Hoopleheads when you get a chance in public. At the grocery store Kadizzle knew a hard core Hoople was in line behind him, so Kadizzle made it a point to loudly express to the check out girl how the Hooples and Tea Party gang are destroying our country by spreading ignorance like a disease. At the post office this morning Kadizzle was talking to a good Democrat. A Hoople happened to be nearby. In no time the Hoople was standing up for Rush Limbaugh, and Glenn. The Hoople said Rush would not say anything unless is was factual. Wow, that took the cake. On to the bank. At the bank Kadizzle tried to encourage the pretty little teller girl to help bring back democracy by voting out the party of greed. She said she was too young to vote, but it was fun to see the older clerks cringe when they got bombed with reality. Our country can be taken back from the special interest if people will just fight for reality. Sadly when the Hooples shoot off the simple minded mantra they learn from Glenn and Rush no one shoots back. What if our founding fathers had been afraid to speak out? We would all be living like the peasants the Republicans want us to be.

After the wiley Pheasant today.

The Commander has the smell of blood driving her crazy. She has not shot a pheasant yet, and if she does not get one soon Kadizzle may get shot. Old Kadizzle has managed to pop a couple. There is so much cover the little redheaded scoundrels have plenty of cover to hide in. Of course there has been some poor shooting. Once the crops come off and the cacklers have no where to hide they will pay for their evil ways. Today the campaign continues.

Young Lord Kadizzle

This is Kadizzle with his siblings many moons ago. According to my sister Kathleen I am the one standing with his mouth open beside the wagon.

Hazen Struggles to gain Sanity

Isolate yourself from reality.

Kadizzle can name so many people that make it a point not to watch or read anything that does not support the dream world they live in. Recently Kadizzle got in a prolonged written conversation with a fundamentalist. Repeatedly Kadizzle offered articles, books, and a variety of information to the poor girl lost in the fog. She wanted no part of it. Nothing was going to penetrate the world of stupidity she had concocted for herself. Kadizzle loves NPR. NPR is one source of news that goes out of its way to be truly fair and balanced. My young friend said she would not watch PBS or listen to NPR because Gwen Ifill played softball once with Obama. Bill Maher is about the best there is for going after the simple minded. I asked my friend if she watched him. Of course she did not. One consistant thing Kadizzle has found about those who chose to be ignorant is you can never pin them down. Kadizzle on many occasions has given one of the foggy minded an article and said "Read this and underline exactly what you disagree with". They never do. Frequently they will say "Well, that comes from the New York Times, so it has to be a lie". How easy it is to be stupid. Then you ask them "What is a good source for news?". They stare back at you with a blank look. Very quickly you realize when you talk to them all the information they do have is coming from the likes of Rush, Glenn Beck, and Fox. These people are being very careful to stay in their own world where Glenn makes up history, and Fox never apologizes for lying. Uninformed people are the biggest threat our country faces. We live in a country where knowledge is considered an evil indulgence by the East coast liberal elite. As my old Republican friend up the street always said "Education just confuses people". That is why communist countries are so care to make sure people do not have knowledge. In our country Rush, Glenn, and Fox take care of that for us.

As the escalator went up the pants went down

Kadizzle had been siting in the Chicago airport for two hours suffering from shear boredom. His seat happened to be close to where the escalator emerged from the floor below. As he glanced over at the escalator an older gentleman was proclaiming loudly to his wife with a lot of frustration, "This is he most embarrassed I have ever been in my life". As the man emerged from the escalator he walked duck style with his pants around his ankles. Apparently his britches had let loose on the escalator. Struggling to get his pants back up the man explained that he had not worn a belt. He thought this would make going through the metal detector easier. It was fine for that but did make the escalators a bit more of a problem. According to him he must have lost some weight while traveling and this would account for the pants coming down. He looked at me and said now what am I going to do. I told him there was a McDonalds near by, perhaps a couple cheeseburgers would remedy the situation. With his pants finally back at full mast he tried to make a scarf into a belt. Kadizzle hopes the rest of his day went better.

Kadizzle wanders into a strange store

A little bored waiting for Megan and The Commander to finish their beer in a bar where Megan used to bar tend, Lord Kadizzle stepped outside to wait on the sidewalk. Gazing into the store window next to the bar his lordship was a bit befuddled with the outfits on display. The outfits were a bit scanty and strange to say the least. Kadizzle decided to investigate further. As Kadizzle went into the store one of the first things he noticed were the fur lined hand cuffs. It soon became apparent what line of clothing this store was selling. Next his eye was caught by the pre-packaged outfits so your loved one could be a scantily clad nurse, police woman or what ever. Kadizzle turned to the clerk and said "It looks like this place is infested with Satan". The clerk responded that the music was strange for a satanic den, then Kadizzle notice the music was church music. The clerk explained that the computer was on the fritz and her selection on the radio just happened to feature church music. In the background the lyrics Hallelujah, Hallelujah, kept repeating. It seemed like such a nice touch for the dildo display. After inquiring about how well things were selling and getting a positive answer Kadizzle rejoined The Commander on the street. Kadizzle was going to ask The Commander if she needed anything from the store, but then he realized her inventory of whips and chains was in good shape and thought better of the notion. Perhaps The Commander would have enjoyed a skimpy general outfit, or a nice dictator suit with ruffles.

Bee Bumble Bee AKA Megan the fashion queen

Who ever thought our little Bee Bumble Bee would be a fashion designer in the heart of the Big Apple. Yesterday Bee Bumble also known as Cheech took us into the marble palace where she works. Lord Kadizzle and The Commander wandered around Macys, Cheech's new employer while waiting to see Meg in her new office. Turned out her office is in Penn Plazza. Even accompanied by the famous Cheech it took some finagling to get in. Once we got up near the sky we found where the Cheech nested. We got a preview of the fashions that will be appearing in the thrift store in Hazen around 2020. After some brief shopping for a camera, we were back in Brooklyn for Thai take out. One week in NYC and Kadizzle would be denser than spent uranium.

Life in the Big Apple

Luckily these people do not know there is an alternative universe. Instead of riding like packed sardines on the subway they could be casually driving home on a lonely road from a power plant in North Dakota, but here in NYC, the sardines are swimming against the current just to get home. Light speed is the pace of life in the metropolis. These people could not conceive of grabbing your shotgun and going for a stroll to blast a few pheasants in tranquility. I cannot work the spell checker on an apple computer, so forgive me. Total insanity is the only way to describe NYC. The poor Hasidic Jews have been forced by the white mans law to allow women to work in the store. These people are the strangest bunch of thieves that have ever breathed oxygen. Like so many that pretend to be orthodox they go nuts when they think no one is watching.

Kadizzle Lands in New York City

The Commander is brushing her teeth so she can start giving up dates. We call them UD's. A UD is usually something you all ready know like "Shut the door" or "It 's raining". The Commander sort of assumes Kadizzle is deaf, dumb, blind, and stupid. Since security is tight everywhere here Kadizzle almost managed to get himself locked out of the building on the fire escape. Kadizzle was trying to get to the roof top garden, which is not an easy task. Megan has a good view of the city from there. For a moment it looked like it was going to be a long walk down an exterior fire escape. Two country bumpkins will soon depart into the deepest depths of NYC. We may enter the subway here and appear at the end of the street in Hazen. From Megan's you have to go under the river to the main part of town. We have to put on snorkels Meg said when we go under the river. Meg said the subway conductor will announce when you put your snorkel on. This will be exciting. Kadizzle heard the Mafia throws bodies in the river, so we hope to see some out the subway window when we go under the river.

Kadizzle headed to NYC

Today the country bumpkins are headed to the big apple. Kadizzle has not yet decided if he will speak at the U.N. If he does it will be in the parking lot. Kadizzle will address the world about the problems facing the planet. The United States has fallen behind in just about everything. Our educational system is on the rocks. The dumber the better seems to be our new motto. We now have screaming idiots like Rush, Glenn, an Fox News producing morons at an unheard of rate. Stupidity is our biggest export. As the election nears we cannot wait to show the world that we can kick stupidity up a notch. We have an ex witch running in Delaware, we have Palin, Bachmann, and a host of women appealing to the simple minded. If the conservatives get their way in November the country will have reached a new low for a population totally dumbed down by Fox an Company. As the Chinese reach supremacy our population craves the simple answers offered by crying lying right wing idiots like Glenn Beck. Beck's current effort to rewrite history take the cake. In many cases he is off by a thousand years, but like one idiot said "I did not pay attention in High School, so I am learning history from Glenn Beck". Wow, what has happened. You may as well learn chemistry in a meth lab.

Glenn Beck the Modern McCarthy

Fall is upon us. Don't get where I will Fall

Fall is here. It is time to clean out the gutters, and the garden. Moving my old lumpy ass around on the roof with one shoe untied seemed like a sure recipe for a disaster. It is easy to see why this is one of the top dangers at a home. Looking from the roof at the yard everything looked pretty nice. The Commander was in the garden pulling up the last of the carrots. Earlier The Commander told Kadizzle to check a pepper to see if it was hot. The pepper had a delayed fuse. Kadizzle had to run in the house for water. Today we go to the lake top put the good ship to be. The amount of junk that will come of the Sovereign is amazing. Nest week we go visit our little fashion girl in New York City. This hick has not been to the Big Apple for over forty years. Megan is working at Macy's an it will be fun to visit her fashion empire. The next big phase of fall will be the great hunt. The usual group will gather at the railroad bunkhouse in Marmouth. Life has a definite rhythm for the Kadizzles. Each season is marked by its rituals.