The American Madrasah

Frequently in the news we see pictures of children in a Madrasah in Pakistan or Iran sitting there learning the Koran. In reality these kids learn nothing, and are often filled with hate for Americans. Sadly we have about the same thing in our country. Many of the so called Christian schools are nothing but the American version of the Madrasah. Resources that could be used to fund real schools and provide real improvement to public education are diverted to schools that indoctrinate, not educate. If the people so obsessed with protecting their children from reality would put the same effort into the public schools would the world not be a better place. Those behind the religious schools always demonize the public schools and insist on taking the easy way out and starting their own school instead of doing the hard thing and improving the public school. So many time you end up with the situation you have in Virginia. All the rich kids go to the private schools and all the poor blacks go to the public schools. Since the rich don't use the public schools they don't want to support them with taxes. Then these people have the audacity to cal themselves loving Christians. Go figure.

Transition Day

The good ship will come out of the water today, and the shotgun will come out of the closet. This marks the end of one season and the beginning of the next. This is how Kadizzle marks time in the endless cycle leading to the grave.

The Captain gets Horny

Recipe for Potato Crispers

Kadizzle remembered the good old day when he used to harvest potatoes with Charlie Johnson. Today Kadizzle checked out the potato field. Low an behold there was an acre of unharvested potatoes. Kadizzle harvested a big bucket full and washed them. The Commander had told Kadizzle in no uncertain terms he was to cook dinner. These potatoes were designed to become french fries. Kadizzle took a large pan and sliced the potatoes thin length wise. Carefully Kadizzle laid the orphan spuds out in the pan so they were all flat. Prior to that chef Kadizzle greased the large pan with some virgin olive oil. On top of the poor homeless potatoes Kadizzle put a few nice kernels of butter. A dash of garlic salt, some crazy salt and let the little munchkins cook at 350 until crisp. The commander was delighted as we ate potatoe crispers and watched the news. Perhaps tomorrow Kadizzle will rescue more Irish orphans. The taters that were not used today will be donated to Gerty. Gerty will make the poor fellows into Lefsa. Rescuing potatoes is not for everyone, but it brings joy to the Irish.

The Muslin Threat

Sleeping has become difficult thinking about the possibility the Muslins will build a Moss in Hazen. Once the Muslins do that we could end up with a community center where Muslins might exercise and read the Coran. However their is some comfort in the new Republican pledge to save America. The Republicans are proposing funding a new missile system. Yup, just what we need when the deficit is out of control. Since those silly Russians don't want to play war anymore who can we fire the missiles at? It must be the Muslins. Apparently there are some defense contractors out of work and the Republicans are going to build a defense system against ideas. If the system works on Muslins there is hope we can develop a missile defense against Hindus. Apparently the new missiles can detect Muslin head wear. If the missile senses a lot of people with too much cloth on their heads the missile will target them. You think Kadizzle is just fabricating this read the Republican Pledge to American. Those silly bastards actually say they want to destroy health care and restore tax cuts to the rich, and by the way the missile funding is in there.

Burn the Coran in the privacy of your own home

Hugging Old Ladies

Lord Kadizzle goes into the Hazen Thrift store on occasion. You can buy a good used towel there for ten cents. Take it home and clean the bath room, then throw it away. Yesterday Kadizzle wandered back to the back of the thrift store into a gaggle of old ladies sorting through junk. One of the ladies said "Are you Mike Quinn?". Kadizzle had recently written a letter to the local paper criticizing our hopeless District 33 Republicans. Kadizzle was expecting to get a good talking too from the senior citizen. With trepidation Kadizzle admitted he was in fact Mike Quinn. The cute little lady proceeded to laud praise on him for calling out the Republican bums. Kadizzle had to hug the lady. As Kadizzle left the store another senior lady also complimented him on his letter about the right wing dolts. Another hug was in order.

When Kadizzle wrote the letter he thought he would incur the wrath of every right wing loony in town. Much to his surprise nothing but compliments have ensued. Our local District 33 Republicans do nothing but protect us from gays, abortion, and make sure we have our guns and God. The Republicans that represent us never come to any meetings or advance our society. They are the classic just say NO bunch. Kadizzle thought the political climate in Hazen was hopeless, but if these senior women can see through the Republican scam there is surely hope.

The campaingn is off and running.

You want goofy, Kadizzle can show you goofy. Today will be the kick off for the Kadizzle Tea Party run. The Hazen Star is running my announcement for a write in candidacy today. My motto is "Why settle for a mediocre idiot, when you have the real thing?". If Kadizzle can get the support of Sara Palin perhaps we can put up a strong fight against the Muslin influence in North Dakota. If Kadizzle gets elected the socialist will no longer feel welcome in our town. There will be no more socialist fire department, and police department. If you want a fire truck hire one, don't expect everyone to kick in when you house catches fire. If someone robs your house call a friend. Why should I pay the police to protect you? This socialism has gone to far. Look at the roads we all have to pay for them. I never drive to New York, why should I have to pay for those roads. Because our so called conservatives have been asleep at the wheel North Dakota is the ONLY state with a state owned bank. Jesus we even have a socialist North Dakota Mill and Elevator. Where are our right wingers? Of course the worst sin of all is Social Security. Kadizzle will put an end to that nonsense after he collects a little to pay some bills. Kadizzle is against masturbation, unauthorized fun of any sort, and encouraging people to be poor with welfare. Now send me some money, so I can get this campaign against people getting you money underway.

Hitler Moves to Hazen

When this video begins click on it so it plays full screen and you can read the subtitles. The subtitles are everything.

Hauling Goats to Bismarck

When an old goat need to get to Bismarck to see the doctor, who do they call? Kadizzle. Today will be a goat hauling day. My old buddy Daryl will pull up in his white Cadillac shortly and we will be off to Bismarck. Daryl just had surgery on his hip. Because he is such an old goat they had a problem finding parts for him. Daryl is the envy of every old goat. Daryl has an older huge white Cadillac that every old person has always craved. In Florida the goats that have made it all drive these cars. When his chauffeur Kadizzle parks the beast goats come up and compliment him on the car. Kadizzle plays up the role of chauffeur for Daryl. When Daryl takes me out for breakfast Kadizzle announces loudly " I will bring up the car sir". There is the usual opening of the door and providing all the services a good driver should. Kadizzle needs a hat and the correct attire. Daryl likes to drive like an old goat, so he rarely goes more than 55 on the interstate. It drives him nuts when I go the speed limit.

Plea for Help gets some results.

A friend from Fargo suggested that if Kadizzle wants to run as a Tea Bagger he needs to sound dumber. He suggested Kadizzle call Muslims, Muslins. That is a great idea. We don't want them Muslins building a Moss near our homes. Next I think the Linens may be next, because I remember my mother saying she did not like Muslins or Linens. I think the Linens are more radical than the Muslins.

Kadizzle to run as write inn for State Senate

Kadizzle needs your help. Kadizzle want to run as a right wing lunatic in his local District 33. Hopefully this will draw a few votes away from the regular right wing lunatics. Below is a letter I would like to submit to the local paper. If you have nay ideas of how to make it more satirical or better, please feel free to let me know. This is just a draft and there is plenty of room for improvement




Dear Editor

I am submitting my name to the public as a write in candidate for the Ice Tea Party in Mercer County. I am seeking the Senate seat now held by Randy Christmann. What Mercer County needs is a candidate who will publicly speak out against Death Panels, The socialist threat of our county commission, and the right of Muslims to build Mosques in North Dakota. Randy Christmann has never taken a public stand against the Koran, masturbation, or gay Lutheran ministers. The people of District 33 need someone who will protect the tax breaks for the rich and be vocal about it. Has Randy Christmann ever denounced the lazy poor people in our county on welfare? Because the Republicans have been so lackadaisical about politics we now have a Kenyan president with a secret agenda to invoke Sharia Law. If elected I will take a strong stand in support of Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh and against health care for the poor. I will fight to make sure the richest Americans get the tax breaks they deserve. If elected you will get a representative who is not bashful about exposing the socialist agenda of everyone who is not a right wing Republican. If you want a milk toast right winger who will not speak up don’t vote for me. I will post my birth certificate at the post office and support laws that all candidates have to post their birth certificates. My fellow Tea Party candidate, Christine O’Donnell is standing up against science. She has denounced the attempts by scientist to breed humans with mice. Has Randy ever take a stand against science? Has Randy ever denounced evolution? District 33 needs activist right wingers willing to burn Korans on main street, willing to tell the truth about the infiltration of Basin by Al Qeada, and willing to suspend the constitution when it is in the best interest of the Republican Party

Nation Once Again Comes Under Sway Of Pink-Faced Half-Wit

Read this Onion article on Glenn Beck, it is hilarious, and really tells the story. Click on the link. Nothing scares Lord Kadizzle like the dumbing down of our country. Glenn Beck, Fox News, Rush Limbaugh, and Hanity represent an America where people fall for every trick Nazi Germany used in it's propaganda. The right wing media stirs hate, paranoia, and the worst aspects of human nature. The Republicans are actually making money convincing the ill informed that tax breaks for the rich is the best answer to all problems. People who could read real information have chosen to follow the Fox cult and become mindless shadows of Rush. In a country where so many fought so hard for the right to read anything you want, it is so sad so many have chosen to deliberately be idiots addicted to the story telling to the right wing propaganda machine.

The Commander takes the Helm

With the wind roaring in our face we beat our way to Bear Den Bay. The rail of the good ship Sovereign was under water for an hour at a time. Pat and Nancy made the run with us. Ruth and Rodger were a little way back. Everyone did a great job with some strong winds.

The Adventure Begins

Today the good ship takes off heading West. After our first good adventure on the Western end of the lake The Commander insist we make another trip. The weather looks a little intimidating today, but there is a good wind out of the East. Hopefully we will not get rain today.

Labor Day on the Lake with the fleet

Sailing Along

After we came out of Fossil Bay we came along Richard and Peggy. Pretty good wind our of the East. Of course you can hear The Commander in the background giving advice.

A Reality Check for the Glenn Beck Crowd

The current recession is the result of an economic policy that favors the rich. Until the country faces the reality that income distribution is a major problem in this country we are in deep trouble. The New York Times has a must read article, Share the Prosperity. The article lays it out so even a Glenn Beck Hooplehead can understand the problem.

Pre - Owned

You have to love the inventiveness of the people who remake words. Cars used to be used cars, now they are previously owned. It used to be an estate tax, now it is the death tax. My favorite take on the term was Red Skelton. As Freddy the freeloader he had an old beat up sport coat. Opening the coat he could display rows of cigar butts and ask the question "Could I interest you in a previously owned cigar?". Recently this happened to Kadizzle. A sailing friend Dean said he had a cigar for Kadizzle. Kadizzle's heart was filled with joy until Dean explained it was previously owned. Dean pulled out a half smoked cigar of good quality and Kadizzle got to wonder what the first half was like.

Anger Management

Anger Management

When you occasionally have a really bad day,
And you just need to take it out on someone,
Don't take it out on someone you know,
Take it out on someone you don't know,
But you know deserves it.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered
A phone call I'd forgotten to make.

I found the number and dialed it.

A man answered, saying
'Hello..'

I politely said,
'This is Chris.
Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?'

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear
'Get the right f***ing number!'
And the phone was slammed down on me.

I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.

When I tracked down Robyn's correct number
To call her,
I found that I had accidentally transposed
The last two digits.

After hanging up with her,
I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled
'You're an asshole!'
And hung up.

I wrote his number down
With the word 'asshole' next to it,
And put it in my desk drawer.

Every couple of weeks,
When I was paying bills or had a really bad day,
I'd call him up and yell,
'You're an asshole!'

It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced,
I thought my therapeutic 'asshole'
Calling would have to stop.

So, I called his number and said,
'Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company.
I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our
Caller ID Program?'

He yelled
'NO!'
And slammed down the phone.

I quickly called him back and said,
'That's because you're an asshole!'
And hung up.

One day I was at the store,
Getting ready to pull into a parking spot.

Some guy in a black BMW
Cut me off and pulled into the spot
I had patiently waited for.

I hit the horn and yelled
That I'd been waiting for that spot,
But the idiot ignored me.

I noticed a 'For Sale ' sign in his back window,
So I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later,
Right after calling the first asshole
(I had his number on speed dial)
I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole, too.

I said,
'Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?'

He said,
'Yes, it is.'

I then asked,
'Can you tell me where I can see it?'

He said,
'Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd. , in Fairfax
It's a yellow ranch style house
And the car's parked right out in front.'

I asked,
'What's your name?'

He said,
'My name is Don Hansen.'

I asked,
'When's a good time to catch you, Don?'

He said,
'I'm home every evening after five.'

I said,
'Listen, Don, can I tell you something?'

He said,
'Yes?'

I said,
'Don, you're an asshole!'

Then I hung up,
And added his number to my speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem,
I had two assholes to call.

Then I came up with an idea...

I called asshole #1.

He said,
'Hello'

I said,
'You're an asshole!'
(But I didn't hang up.)

He asked,
'Are you still there?'

I said,
'Yeah!'

He screamed,
'Stop calling me'

I said,
'Make me.'

He asked,
'Who are you?'

I said,
'My name is Don Hansen.'

He said,
'Yeah? Where do you live?'

I said,
'Asshole, I live at 34 oak tree Blvd., in Fairfax ,
A yellow ranch style home and
I have a black Beamer parked in front.'

He said,
'I'm coming over right now, Don.
And you had better start saying your prayers.'

I said,
'Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole,'
And hung up.

Then I called Asshole #2.

He said,
'Hello?'

I said,
'Hello, asshole,'

He yelled,
'If I ever find out who you are...'

I said,
'You'll what?'

He exclaimed,
'I'll kick your ass'

I answered,
'Well, asshole, here's your chance.
I'm coming over right now.'

Then I hung up and immediately called the police,
saying that I was on my way over to 34 oak tree Blvd, in Fairfax , to kill my gay lover.

Then I called Channel 7 News
about the gang war going down in oak tree Blvd in Fairfax .


I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax .

I got there just in time to watch two assholes
beating the crap out of each other
in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter
and surrounded by a news crew.

NOW I feel much better.

Anger management really does work.