Ed suffering from Atzheimer's disease.

Our good friend Ed, who travels with us apparently has come down with Alzheimer's disease. He got up this morning and took this picture of himself. Overnight he must have forgotten who he was. To keep this from happening again he took this picture of himself in the mirror and labeled it "Ed". Ed now has it taped on the mirror with an arrow pointing to his reflection.

Headed for a train wreck

I have been doing taxes and our budget for the last two days. It looks like the train from income is going to have a spectacular crash with the train from outgo. The outgo train is going much faster than the income train. Our only hope is to act like the Federal Government and borrow some money from the Chinese. I talked to my Chinese banker, Hu Bein La Zee, he suggested I get a job, because China is not going to lend money to a country that denominates its currency based on the poundcake. Enraged, I told him the currency was modeled after the British Pound. Still he refused the loan.

I explained to him that my physical limitations resulting from the lack of an ambition gland prevents me from working. Hu Bein then suggested I borrow from my kids. I asked how that works, and he explained how the Bush Administration does it. You simply steal from your children's retirement, my Chinese friend explained. You borrow the money set aside for their retirement. When your children ask you to pay them back, you tell them you're broke. Then what happens I asked? You say too bad you will have to work until you die because I spent your retirement. This seemed like a good plan until I realized my kids have been asking me for money. Apparently, the only retirement they have is the money they put into Social Security. Bush already stole that from them, so that leaves me with nothing to do but try to live within my means.
This is not the American way.

Lord Kadizzle finds a way to make taxes fun

I spent a major part of the day yesterday doing taxes. The whole tax system is a needless mess. If you want to read my rant on this you will have to go to the dark side and read my other blog ( http://idignatioin.blogspot.com/ ). One theory of taxes is that they encourage or discourage certain behavior. The government imposes a tax on drinking or smoking, and we pay more to sin. It is a wonderful system that makes it so only the well-to-do can sin. Fortunately, most sins are still free. Gambling strikes me as the perfect tax system. Gambling taxes a commodity in abundant supply. The commodity is stupidity. Few could dispute that when you systematically give your money away, which you do when you gamble, you are not exhibiting a whole lot of intelligence. The more you gamble, the higher stupidity tax you pay.

If our government wanted to stop tax cheating, and actually increase revenue, it could be done in a simple fashion. If the taxpayer was given one lottery ticket for every hundred dollars of tax the person paid, people would pay more taxes just to get the tickets. Tax time would become fun as everyone waited to see who won the tax lottery.

We Came Back to North Dakota for this?

Joann Kerns sent us this photo today of the snow near Stanton. Unfortunately it looks the same in Hazen. Every day when we hiked in shorts and T-shirts I felt like I was cheating, now I know I was. Why can't this snow fall in Montana and run into our lake? Why did it wait until we got here? The world is a strange place.

Jabbits may solve many problems

Fran's company has launched a new web site called Jabbits. What in the hell is Jabbits? Jabbits allows people to ask video questions online, and have them answered by others. It is similar to YouTube, but is more in the vein of market research, and just plain curiosity. Give it a try. Now for the good part, Erin assures me that if it is a success, Fran will be in high cotton, and we can cut the umbilical cord that now leads to our wallet on occasion. In fact it may enable Lord Kadizzle to enjoy his final days in dry depends. So get on your little computer and type Jabbits into the search engine. If you play your cards right you will see Fran, and Erin giving answers. Soon, when Lord Kadizzle receives his webcam he may also appear. Lets not forget Youtube was sold to Google for billions. Even on billion would help in the Kingdom of Kadizzle, so get your little fingers going.

You can see in the picture above that I am trying to answer the question someone asked, "How many clothes pins can you put on your face?".

Gravity Worse in North Dakota than previously expected

For the past three months under the guidance of The Commander, Lord Kadizzle has been forced on a march almost every day. These marches involved gains of two or three thousand feet, and sometimes drops of nearly a mile into the Grand Canyon. Hardly a day did not go by when the retinue did not hike from six to eight miles. With this in mind Lord Kadizzle declared in Utah that he was sure he had lost from 15 to 20 pounds. This had to happen because he was away from a refrigerator for up to four hours per day. Rarely does this happen. Her lordship declared that there was no visible reduction in the shadow cast by his lordship. In view of his part time summer job providing shade at weddings her lordship thought this a good thing.

With great fanfare his lordship stepped on the scale before his first shower at home. Much to his suprize the scale indicated at most he had lost five pounds. This is positive proof that gravity in North Dakota is much more severe than previously expected. The reason for this phenomenon seems to be related to global warming. In North Dakota there seems to be early effects from global warming of refrigerator food in the microwave. As the mass of the refrigerator is reduced by the warming of the food, the mass of Lord Kadizzle seems to increase. Further research is still required , but preliminary results seem to indicate gravity will continue to strenthen in North Dakota.

Lord Kadizzle started his research on gravity after he was hit by his first gravity wave. Frequently these waves are generated by lunch. It is not uncommon shortly after noon to be walking about minding your own business, only to be struck down by a strong gravity wave. If you can stagger to the couch and lie prone for up to thirty minutes a recovery is usually possible. There seems to be a relationship between these waves and sun activity. When the sun shines brightly on the couch the waves seem to strike more often. Any good observer of animals will note they are often struck in this manner. If you see either an animal or a human caught in the grips of a gravity wave on the couch the best way to release them from the grips of this force is as follows: Open the door leading to the garage quitely, and press the button that raises the garage door. The noise of the garage door going up usually will break the trance. Animals and victems of gravity waves have come to associate the sound of garage doors opening with demands for explanations. Both humans and pets have found it difficult to explain why they appear to be sleeping in the middle of the day.

What is it? Why is it here?

One of the best parts of hiking in ancient areas is looking for artifacts. They can be anywhere. Once you get the hang of it things start to pop out of the ground. I have begun to develope the habit of what I call eye sweeping. I force my eyes to pan the area I am walking in and look for any anomolies. Walking down from a ruin on Comb Ridge I spotted something at the base of a large white pointed rock about twenty feet from the trail. On closer examination I found the little object pictured above. At first I was pretty excited, but slowly came to the conclusion, it was not an artifact. However, I could not help wondering why it was there. Since it was not an artifact the rules say I can put it in my pocket, which I did. I did not think much about it until I got to Hovenweep. At the visitor center Cissie and I saw a short film on the area. With no explanation the film briefly showed the same figure as part of the introduction. Now, I began to wonder just what the figure represented. I searched the referenced material at Hovenweep for an explanation, but could find none.

When we got to the Anasazi musuem near Cortez I had the chance to ask an archeologist about the token. He said it may have been left as part of an Indian prayer ritual. The rock where I found it looked a bit out of place. The rock was white in color and seemed to point upward. If you have any clue where this symbol comes from, let me know. It seems to have a South American aspect to it.

Out of the Sunshine and into the Fog

Lord Kadizzle and Her Majesty, The Commander, have arrived back in the small hamlet of Hazen. Every spring when we return, the final part of the journey involves a drive into the fog. The fog always starts just as we reach North Dakota. Keep in mind, fog is very unusual in North Dakota. Surely, this is a symbolic sign of the life change we undergo when we return to our prairie home. Our epic journey more or less ended when we left the Canyon of the Ancients near Cortez, Co. on Monday. At McPhee Reservoir, we spent the night alone in a large campground. The next morning we headed to the Anasazi Museum in Delores, Co. near Cortez. The museum is one of the best of its type in the Southwest. Exhibits at the museum solved a couple of the mysteries about the things we had seen on Comb Ridge. One of the best displays was the actual cross section of an archeological dig.

The drive over the mountains was tedious pulling our trailer. We choose a different route than normal. Scenery was excellent on the mountain crossing, but the combination of high winds and mountain roads frayed the nerves of the driver. After we busted out of the mountains, we spent the night parked in front of a railroad museum in Limon, Colorado. Lord Kadizzle always liked trains as a child, and Her Majesty made fun of his Lordship because he got up and opened the shades on the camper to watch the Southern Pacific locomotives do switch work beside our campsite.

An all day drive across the plains is such a contrast from the previous months we spent in the mountains and deserts. All day we dodged wind, tornadoes, and storms, but we finally pulled into Hazen at eight to plow through three cartons of mail.

Bust out for Hovenweep today

Today the little band will head North for Hovenweep. Hovenweep has been on the Commanders Life list for some time. The Commander just announced we will head for Hazen on Saturday,and Sunday. Camping will be primitive at Hovenweep, so we will be out of communication. The last time we went to Hovenweep the weather was rather bleak, and we were tent camping. After looking the situation over, we decided to run for better accommodations.

Mystery of the Processional Panel

Yesterday we set off on a new adventure to explore Fish Creek. Fish Creek is the drainage down from Cedar Mesa which is full of excellent ruins. A trip up Fish Creek reveals why the Anasazi loved the area. Fish Creek was an ideal place to live. The water runs all year and the valley has excellent areas for corn. It was nice to go into a new area.

On the way to Fish Creek, Lord Kadizzle, who now considers himself an amateur archaeologist, said to Her Eminence, "If there was a way over the Comb Ridge, the Indians would have found it". So on the way to Fish Creek we traveled the backside of the comb and looked for the crossover. As we approached an area that looked good The Commander noticed people standing at the top of the Comb Ridge. Low and behold it turned out to be people we met the day before. With some shouting we got them to go to channel 22 on their two way radio. We could see Moqui steps from the bottom with binoculars. Our friends on top confirmed that this was the crossover, and that the Processional Panel was nearby on the top.

The Processional Panel is one of the most elaborate petroglyph panels in the Bluff area. We had seen it before and wondered why such an exquisite panel would be in such a place. At that time, we had no idea the crossover was there. With the crossover nearby, it now made sense. It would have been like a huge billboard at an intersection on the interstate. Comb Ridge is an incredible natural barrier for East- West travel in Southern Utah. In the Bluff area, it drove the Mormons nuts because they could not get across it. On the West side, it is like God's version of the Great Wall of China. The Comb runs for about twenty miles in this area, and is a sheer cliff rising from the valley below. The Mormons finally got a road around the end near the San Juan River. According to historical accounts, the Mormon's oxen died from exhaustion in their tracks trying to go up the road.

Later in the day, back at our camper, some of our new friends stopped by. After telling them about our "discovery", they explained they had spent years looking for these places, and had found several more. They gave us the other locations. When The Commander saw the first one yesterday, she started barking and running toward it with a desire to climb to the top. It is almost straight up with a terrible amount of loose rock. I solved the problem by telling her we could do it later when we came back from Fish Creek. When we came back she started up while I sat in the truck. I got impatient and finally got her to come back.

Doggie Door Discovered by Lord Kadizzle

In our adventures on Fish Creek yesterday, we came across this unusual door at a ruin. Apparently, the occupants had a dog.

Elf discovered near Stanton, North Dakota

What looked like an ordinary steel quonset near Stanton, North Dakota, turned out to have a hidden chamber. Brian Kerns had heard noises coming from the area, but attributed it to wind or other natural causes. Then he saw a suspicious gentleman going in and out at odd times. Fearing the little used building may have been turned into a meth lab, Brian decided to investigate. Brian hid behind some stuff in the building and waited to see what happened. It wasn't long before a tall man quietly walked by and went to the back and opened a door that was cleverly disguised as a door. After waiting a few moments, Brian popped open the door and discovered the Elf pictured above, making a beautiful wooden canoe. Upon questioning the Elf, Brian found out his father Ray had been writing Santa for years asking for a watercraft. To save shipping, Santa decided to have the ship built near Ray’s house. Brian agreed to keep the story under his hat until Christmas. Ray will be delighted when he sees the finished product.

Last Day at Butler Wash, Strange Dots Found

We had planned to leave today, but her Eminence talked his lordship into one more hike. We actually made two hikes. On hike number one, we went to an excellent Kiva site. While there, another hiker noticed dots on the top of the cave. The dots were too high to have been put there unless someone did it with a long pole. The fact that there were four dots, and they were evenly placed led me to speculate they might be used as a calender to mark the seasons. I took out my compass and sited due south to see if they lined up properly. It appeared they did. When I saw where the compass pointed, I noticed a small rock formation on the top of the opposite canyon wall. Was it possible that rock formation was casting a beam or shadow onto the cave ceiling to mark the equinoxes and solstices? Where is Brian Kerns when you need him? This could be a major discovery. We need to bring the experts back and do some calculations.

From the Kiva site, we tried to go up and over to the next canyon. A storm was approaching and we both thought it unwise to tempt the lord to wipe out a couple of sinners with a bolt from the blue, so we headed back to the truck. At the truck, we met some older folks that have been seeking ruins for thirty years. One of the gentlemen gave me the GPS figures for some very nice sites. This is a godsend. The other group told us about petroglyphs up the next canyon to the North, so of course we had to take off in pursuit. The picture above is very near the top of the canyon. It was a very tough hike with a poor trail. On the way up I found two small black and white shards. My sighting skills amazed me. One was the size of a dime, and the other not much bigger. As we neared the top The Commander found some petroglyphs. When I approached the area, I noticed a strange pile of rocks under a very large boulder. The bolder had fallen from above and created a cave under itself. Investigating the sight I found another large black and white pot shard, pictured above.

Dutchess of Dallas bakes pies for Lord Kadizzle, One Problem

Every year The Duchess of Dallas bakes pies on Lord Kadizzles birthday. Then she sends a picture of the pies. Next she eats them, but this year she took them to the church social. Pictures of pies have very little flavor. Next year I am going to ask her to include ice cream in the picture. Just the thought of those lonely pies is driving me crazy. I never thought there was such thing a pie pornography, but if there is she should surely be jailed. Next she will post pictures of pie being served to minors. Of course in West Virginia you can be jailed for serving pies to miners.

Looking toward Comb Ridge

This is the view looking at Comb Ridge in Butler wash. We went up the canyon on the right, climbed out and came down the one on the left.

One of the sites we visited today

This was one of the sites we found today. It had an upper and lower portion. We tried to get to the upper portion, but luckily common sense prevailed. We gave up and avoided death for the time being.

Food Grinder

On our trip today we must have found at least fifty of these site used to grind corn. The sand that became entrapped with the corn did have an adverse effect on the teeth.

Lord Kadizzle finds nice pot shard

The Commander and I set out on our daily hike up Butler wash. When The Commander goes to Butler wash it is like taking a hunting dog to the field, she is full of energy and impossible to restrain. As usual we found some excellent new ruins. I don't think there is any where on earth that you can still have such a sense of discovery. Also as usual The Commander ran off like a dog looking for a rabbit, but she was seeking petroglyphs. She found them in spades. As I wandered around while waiting her return I found a very nice pot shard pictured above. We are planning to leave for another area tomorrow, but her eminence is begging to stay here one more day. A couple times we were tempted to take some dangerous chances to check sites out. Once we did and it went ok. We both agreed not to try to access one site. The fall would have been fatal. However, we may try it tomorrow if we are here and stupid. We will use a rope for some degree of safety.

Sandstone Houses

When the Mormons came to Bluff there was very little to work with so they made their homes from sandstone, which turned out to be wonderful. These old homes have stood up well, and you can still see many of them that have been restored. The one we visited to day had massive wood beams, hardwood floors, and so many nice rustic features that blend so well together.

Not a fribble shop

Traveling we frequently get in a discussion (actually a fight) about The Commander's desire to stop at various shops. From my observation this is common among married couples. Most of the time the shops end up being "fribble" shops. Fribble shops cater to tourist and have the same genre of crap which consist mostly of T-shirts, Indian Jewelry made in China, etc.

However, we do occasionally find someplace that has gone to the effort to offer very carefully selected local art. This morning we visited a very nice art gallery in Bluff. From the outside you would not have guessed the wonderful job they did with the inside. The gallery was converted from an old sandstone Mormon home. The home itself was worth the visit. The owners had done a wonderful job of restoring and rebuilding it. Cissie was enthralled with the art objects, I very much liked the architecture.

One of the blessings of travel is the people you meet. If you take the time to engage the local people you can learn a lot. The gallery owner was a very nice woman who gave us a good synopsis of local politics. People here are not divided along party lines, but sewage lines. There are two factions, those that want septic systems, and those that want city sewage. Now this may seem like a strange thing to base political parties on, but it works. If the city puts in sewer lines, the town will turn into a typical tourist trap and loose its charm. If septic systems are used the big hotels, and fribble shops will not be able to come in. So after you think about it, it all makes sense. Unfettered development is the bain of the Southwest.

You could also divide the world into those who hike, and those who must ride a motorized device everywhere they go. Urban sprawl, off road four wheel vehicles, and off road two wheel vehicles are the biggest threat to public lands. Walmart would also have to be on the list. Once a town has a Walmart, the game is over. I was amazed in Page Arizona, there is now a Walmart Super Center.

Leave a Comment

I made some changes to this blog so a person can leave a comment very easily. If you click on the little comment button at the bottom of an article a form for comments will appear. Check the anonymous button and make your comment. Next push the publish button. If you want to see comments just click on any article that has a comment. Be sure to page up when the window appears, the comments may be above the section you write in. People have complained in the past that comments were hard to post. Give it a try and let me know if you have any problems. Note, I just discovered that you will see the comments if you click on an individual article on the right (In the BLOG ARCHIVE). If you look at the main blog and scroll down through the articles you will not see the actual comment unless you click on the comment button, and wait for the little window to pop up. Play with it and you will figure it out.

Butler Wash

Yesterday we hiked up the Butler Wash area near Bluff. This area is one of the best I know of for exploring Indian ruins. Cissie found a wonderful arrow head, which you can see above. It is illegal to keep these so we put them back. I do take a GPS reading so I know excactly where they are. If you you ever hike in this part of the country and you can be trusted to respect artifacts, I could give you the location. We found another excellent specimen last year which is still in place. One of my favorite things is finding good pottery sherds that have decorations on them. The sites we visited yesterday were very good. One picture above shows a very old Navajo sweat lodge. The Anasazi did not use sweat lodges. The Navajo do not disturb Anasazi ruins, which is one reason they are still intact. The ruin in the cave in the one picture above had a spring in it. This is a terrific bonus, to have running water. It is also unusual to find such sites.

Surrounded by Indians

I am sitting at the Twin Rocks Cafe surrounded by Indians. The waitresses are all Navajos, and the only other customers in the room are Indians from India. The Indians from India have informed me they are going to see the Indian ruins at Hovenweep. I thought I might start an argument and pose the question to the group, "Which of you are real Indians?". Columbus thought he found the Indians which are now customers of the Indians he did find. I put off starting the fight realizing I was in the minority, and did not want to be the only white man killed in Bluff by all the Indians in the world.

Country Celebrates Lord Kadizzles Birthday

As any good student of astronomy knows, March 21 is the spring equinox. Also, it is the birthday and anniversary of Lord Kadizzle. To celebrate the three major events, the earth stands straight up. The marriage of The Commander and Lord Kadizzle was similar to the process used to make an atomic bomb. An atomic bomb is created when two radio active materials are forced together and energy is created from matter. This is very much what happened when the marriage took place. Unfortunately all the energy went to The Commander. Lord Kadizzle ended up with the spent uranium part of the explosion. As you may well know spent uranium is heavier than lead.

The Dutchess of Dallas has reported that the Eastern part of the U.S. is planning to celebrate the event with an earthquake on the fault that runs along the Mississippi River. In honor of Lord Kadizzle, the Duchess will bake and eat a pie. I hope she sends pictures. Pictures of pies don't have nearly the flavor of the pie I will be eating in my own honor tonight.

THe Wave visited by royalty

The retinue has just spent about five days camped west of Page by the Pariah River. Our camping spot was so ideal, we had a hard time leaving. Each day we did some nice hiking. The rock formations in this area cannot be beat anywhere in the world. One item on The Commanders life list was to hike at The Wave. The Wave is one of the most incredible formations anywhere, and it should qualify as a wonder of the world. In order to see it, you have to get your name drawn in a lottery, and only 20 people are allowed to visit the Wave per day. Every day you have to show up a little before 9AM and enter the lottery until you win. Luckily, we won on the second day. Near the wave is the longest slot canyon in the world- Bucksin Gulch. We hiked about twelve miles in and out of that canyon. Pictures from these hikes are above. The weather has been perfect for longer than we deserve.

Our Camping Trailer just gave Birth to a very large baby

What a wonderful start to the day. The Commander asked me if I got the keys out of the truck as we parked at a restaurant near where we are camping. Of course before I answered, she locked the keys in the truck. In a mood less than ideal, I hiked back to the trailer. Of course the Commander had also locked the camper, which held an extra set of truck keys. Luckily one bedroom window in the camper was unlocked. As the trailer moaned and groaned with labor pains, Lord Kadizzle went through the window, and emerged from the front door of the trailer. The whole birth took less than five minutes and now the Big Foot trailer is the proud father of an unshaven well over two hundred pound, mean, nasty baby boy.

A little walk

Today was supposed to be a take it easy rest day after both of us had a hard day of hiking. Thinking we would follow the plan, Lord Kadizzle made the fatal mistake of following The Commander on what was to be a short hike. It never fails when we leave all equipment at home, such as the GPS, rope, and all the other get out of a jam essentials, the hike turns into an odyssey. The canyon we hiked today is one of our favorites. We gained about six hundred feet of elevation, and made it to the top in an area we had not been before. If water is running in this canyon, it is a marvel to see. The canyon has a series of what look like natural hot tubs. When the stream runs, the water runs into each tub, swirls around and goes to the next. On a hot summer day with water running, it would be paradise. As I left the canyon, I met two couples. One was from North Dakota. In no time, we established he knew one of our ex neighbors in Hazen. At the bottom of this canyon are Indian petroglyphs. I was puzzling and speculating for some time why they were here. When Winky reads this, I will have to admit I missed the obvious. For years, I have been thinking the drawings were to indicate this was a way to the top of the mesa. I mentioned this to Wink, and she said they probably refereed to the water, which is always present in the holes. Sheepishly, I will have to admit I missed the obvious. I think The Commander got it right. It was a classic case of not seeing the forest for the trees. Chalk up one for the commander.

On to the East, through the tunnel

Our little band has decided to spend one more day in Zion. Ed and The Commander may go for a short walk, and then a hike to one of favorite parts of the park. I am going to arrange to get the trailer through the tunnel. In order to go through the tunnel, you must have a special permit. The tunnel leading east was built for Model T's back in the twenties, so large objects must have an escort. It is a strange tunnel. The tunnel does not go through the mountain, but instead goes into the mountain, and back out on the same side. In fact there are large windows in the tunnel in several places for ventilation. The picture above is one of those windows. The window provides light, ventilation, and also provided a place for the tunnel builders to get rid of the waste rock.

The other choice would be to avoid the tunnel by driving around through Hildale and Colorado City. Hildale is the famous place where the Mormons still have multiple wives. I do not want to drive through there because I fear I could be captured and forced to take an additional wife. If The Commander had help, she would surely subdue me, and I would be forced to do dishes and other terrible tasks. Why any man would want multiple wives puzzles me. One is certainly nice, but two could quickly lead to trouble, I should say more trouble. However, all of Mormanism is not bad. The whole thing started when Joseph Smith found some tablets, that only he could read. Every time I hike in Utah, I look for the tablets. If I can find anything convincing, I will read the tablets to the commander. I am sure the tablets I find will grant me more authority and rights.

Zion Narrows

Virgin River conquered, but no virgins found

The adventure crew got up early and put on the appropriate gear for our assault on the Virgin River. Even though the water was 39 degrees the equipment kept us warm for the entire trip. We were in the river about eighty percent of the time. It was a spectacular hike, and one we had to get off our life list. A concern in these canyon hikes is a sudden rise in water level. The Virgin River is fed by snow melt and the temperature today was over eighty degrees. I think it was our imagination, but we both thought the river was rising. The people who gave us the gear said to seek high ground and sit it out. In some areas, there is no high ground. After careful observation, we decided there were no problems. It seems some of the river goes underground at times and reappears. I think this was the problem.

Lord Kadizzle kept a sharp eye for virgins. Although several women were spotted, none appeared to be virgins. It remains to be found out if the Virgin River is the source for Alqueda's endless supply of virgins for suicide bombers. Apparently we did not go far enough.

One danger in the process was stumbling into unexpected deep spots. Only once did this cause concern. Her Lordship stepped into a pool without checking carefully and just about had a good dousing. She managed to avoid a complete soaking. However, the camera is acting odd, and perhaps it took on some water.

Met Angel on Angel's Landing

In preparation for tomorrows big hike, The Commander and I took separate warm up hikes today. Lord Kadizzle made an assault on Angels Landing. I have been there a few times before, but I seemed to have forgotten what a hike it is. It is the perfect hike to decide who is afraid of heights. There are places where the trail is about six feet wide and if you go off on either side you will fall several thousand feet. I am always amazed that the park service with their insane rules even lets people do this hike. You have to hold onto chains in many places to keep from falling. It is probably one of the most spectacular hikes you will ever make if you get the chance, without the help of ropes and other equipment.

Commander Seeks source of Virgin River

Tomorrow the Commander is going to take me on a forced march up the Zion Narrows. To make this trek we will have to don the bottom half of a wet suit. I do not look forward to walking on rocks for a couple of miles, but the view will be spectacular. The Canyon is the source of the Virgin River in Utah. I am sure if we go far enough we will find where Iraq is getting the virgins for the suicide bombers.

I had to shoot him, as a matter of honor

It seems like every year I have one of these incidents in the southwest. I was sitting in the grocery store in Parhump while The Commander was shopping. I glanced over by the check out counter and saw a small cowboy about four or five. To entertain myself I made a mean face at him. The young buckaroo responded by making a mean face at me. This went back and forth for awhile with each of us escalating the meaness of our look. Then the young cowpoke, who was equipped with a six gun and holster went behind the counter out of my sight. Black Bart reemmerged with one hand shielding the other hand, which was giving me the finger. After I quit laughing, I pulled out my gun and shot the little @#$@!. His dad was oblivious to the whole thing. I kept wondering, did his dad teach him this? As he walked out of the store behind his dad he made a fist at me and of course I returned the jesture. He smiled and all was well that ended well.

Valley of Fire heats up

This picture and the one below are from the Valley of Fire

Adventure in Zion

Lord Kadizzle and his retinue are now in Zion National Park. The Dutchman, Her Lordship, and his Eminence have settled into one of the nicest camping spots on earth. We left Death Valley and spent some time at Pahrump. Next we went to the Valley of Fire featured in the picture above. Valley of Fire is a little known State Park northeast of Las Vegas. The park is one of our favorites. The rock formations there are unmatched anywhere. The camping sites are in a very unique setting as well. Our only problem there was some simple minded generator Willy's. The people next to us were nice enough, but insisted on running a generator all the time to keep their refrigerator running. Although the refrigerator would run on gas, the gas function did not work. I tried to fix it for them, but had no luck. Finally, the park ranger gave them a clue, and they turned it off. Generators are the single biggest curse to enjoying the national parks. Usually most campgrounds have a separate section for the generator crowd. In Death Valley, they have nicknamed it the Walmart Parking Lot. All the large motorhomes there sit side by side and run their generators to the point they gas themselves to death. We typically run for five to eight days on batteries. It is sad to see these people who have worked their entire life just to go to a national park and watch television.

Commander decides to garden in Death Valley

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The commander looked all over for a place to raise some potatoes, and this was the best she could come up with.

Ranger Matt at Death Valley

The war in Iraq has forced cut backs in the National Park budgets. Consequently park uniforms are now provided by grandmothers. The budget has also forced the Park service to use smaller rangers which require less maintenance.

Small Rangers Most Dangerous

Everything has to adapt in the desert. With little water being small is an advantage. Even the park rangers have evolved into smaller creatures. Even though the rangers are smaller, they still have quite an attitude. You can see ranger Matt in the picture above. Matt and I got into it about our campsite. Matt said I was parked wrong and needed to move everything. One thing lead to another and it looked like we were going to come to fistacuffs. As I looked at the shrunken ranger, I did not think I would have much trouble if the argument resulted in an ultracation. Then I started to remember what the camp host had just told me about rattlesnakes. The kind elderly woman said that the ones with the most venom were the small ones. Most of the people who died had been bitten by the little ones. With this in mind I began to think about evolution, and the small ranger that was getting agitated. Perhaps the little rangers were the toughest in the desert just like the snakes, so I figured it would be best if I backed down. Turned out to be a good decision. After I agreed to do as Matt requested he got on his bike and pedaled up a steep hill as if there were a motor on that bike.

Air Force Destroys Lord Kadizzle's Underwear

The wagon train is back in the land of wifi. Her majesty the commander and Lord Kadizzle have landed in Parumpfh, Nevada. According to Ed, Parumph is African for elephant fart. We just left Death Valley yesterday. The Air Force uses the valley to the west of Death Valley to practice. Driving around it was fun see the jets fly as close to the ground as possible. They are not supposed to come over to the Death Vally side. However, as we were driving North at about 55mph a jet came up behind us at under two hundred feet, and about two hundred feet to our left on a straight stretch of road. I think the pilot deliberately scared the hebee ba jeebees out of me and ruined a perfectly good pair of underwear. I instantly heard a noise I could not identify, and instinctively jerked the truck to the right as fast as I could. Cissie sort of screamed, and yelled look. I looked left and saw the wing tip immediately ahead and to the left of the truck. Since the jet was doing about five hundred mph, he was gone in an instant. According to the park officials they are not supposed to go under one thousand feet. I could certainly see where this prank could lead to a wreck or heart attack. From the pilots perspective, I can also see the temptation. He went by so fast I doubt he had the pleasure of seeing me drive into the ditch.

The ABC's of Bees

As a young person I was often stuck and bored on our remote farm in West Virginia. One benifit of being there was that you would ultimately get bored to the point that you would read something. There was no electricity,running water, or any other modern convinences. A book that sat around was "The ABC's of Bees". It was written by one of the most famous beekeepers of the time. My father kept bees. One of the most facinating things in the book was a section that told you how to make a beard out of bees for the county fair.

The New York Times ran a story yeaterday about bees in jeapordy.

"In 24 states throughout the country, beekeepers have gone through similar shocks as their bees have been disappearing inexplicably at an alarming rate, threatening not only their livelihoods but also the production of numerous crops, including California almonds, one of the nation’s most profitable.

“I have never seen anything like it,” Mr. Bradshaw, 50, said from an almond orchard here beginning to bloom. “Box after box after box are just empty. There’s nobody home.”

The sudden mysterious losses are highlighting the critical link that honeybees play in the long chain that gets fruit and vegetables to supermarkets and dinner tables across the country. "

If you get time go on line and read the story. Most of us have foggoten how fragil the world is we live in. Bees seem very unimportant, but if they disappear we are in peril. Traveling around it is easy to see how out of hand human beings have become. Every major city is now covered by pollution. It may be the bees are being killed by some chemical in the environment. Check your flowers this spring. Put your ear up to the flower when a bee is working. If you hear the bee coughing we are in trouble.